I have a big letter-opener. Better than scissors, but not by much. I reckon I can keep them at a distance by chucking volumes of tax statutes at them though. With a bit of luck that would slow them down…

And chuckling at davidrussell.

Reckon I'd have to tear a desk leg off and use that, the office is suprisingly free of decent weapons.

I watched Dead Snow this weekend, Nazi weapon wielding Zombies, awesome!

ooohh yeah i saw dead snow at frightfest in london a couple of weeks ago, the director was there seemed like a really nice guy and looked about 12!

i liked the girl that girl that liked it dirty in the outhouse!!!

I think I would either fire staples at their eyes, slam their heads in a filing cabinet or stove their skulls in with my creaky sh!tbox Dell PC.

However everyone knows that killing zombies only buys you time at best. You will end up as one of them sooner or later, unless you can hijack a helicopter and escape to a tropical island with the tough-as-nails female lead.

i could chuck a staffie at em, and then a siamese cat, and finish em off with a chocolate brown poodle, but then i'm buggerd!

my mrs has said i'm going before the poodle 😯

i reckon i cold rip the guard off the large desk fan… pretty messy but would (eventually) get the job done.

I think there is even an extension lead under my desk.

I'm never going to be able to walk into a room without doing this assessment, am i?

currently sitting in a room with big swords in it, so I'm sweet….bring on the hordes of the living dead!!

Oh now… im a bike screed here… In the spare bedroom and it has NOTHING in it apart from a computer, a cupboard with clothes, my grandma's thimbles ( at least my thumbs would be ok…), a hi-fi and a Vase with some flowers… SO i'd have to rely on the vase, and maybe the computer screen for shock tactics. Hopefully i would then be able to get to the room next door, where i have screwdrivers and dumbell bars ( good bet i think). Then fight my way to the back door, into the shed, grab the gardening fork, and run for the woods…

Oh, where do we all meet, in the eftrmath of said attack, to mount our fight against the undead?

Got sword three feet from me which would do a decent job despite it being blunt.

The real is question is – what tyres for zombie plague?

does ant powder work on zombies ?

Mossberg M500, 8 shot pump, 20" barrel sat on top of a box containing 250 cartridges, within 3ft of me now. Got a competition at the weekend and have just sorted my kit

Dead Snow is an awesoem film, mainly because my cousing is one of the stuntmen.

See that bit where the zombie takes a sledgehmmer to the head, thats him!

crikey, stuff the electrified coat hangers, just show them my typing and their heads will explode!

Well i'm going to live longer than a lot of you!

Currently in this room –

1 Falchion – 23" blade
1 Rondel dagger – 14" blade (triangular section)
1 Misericord dagger – 12" blade
2 Bollock daggers – 12" & 8" blades

Plus, if i'm in the bedroom at the time i have a fighting axe by the bed.

If i'm in the garage with the bike then i can choose from –
1 Poll-axe
1 spear 9'
1 glaive 8'
1 glaive 7'

I'm sorted!

I'm pretty much screwed – I'm in the living room and my best bet is a 8 inch fire iron! As long as they have short arms I may stand half a chance.

As I was the first person to bring this highly likely sequence of events to the boards attention I feel a certain amount of responsibility and as such nominate myself as leader of the resistance.

Furthermore I feel compelled to clarify the rules and as such disqualify certain people.

[*]1) Anything that requires fuel or ammunition is ruled out.
2) The rebellion cannot be delayed until personal circumstances are more favourable (looking at you mrchrispy)
3) Mr Agreeable is excluded due to his pessimism
4) We can assume that ant powder is ineffective
5) Muddydwarf is excluded for obvious reasons
6) Women should ride American motorcycles, wear leather skirts and tube tops.[/*]

Oh, where do we all meet, in the eftrmath of said attack, to mount our fight against the undead?

Glentress Carpark outside the hub.

OI!! Why excluded for obvious reasons?

??? what the hell happened there?

Anyway – why excluded you elitist git you! 😛

Glentress Carpark outside the hub.

rubbish, they'd never have enough beer. you need a pub for that kind of rendevouz

Anyone who owns '2 Bollock daggers' is excluded, it was in the small print at the start if you'd bothered to look. 😉

I admit, we will miss your spear collection. Good luck.

rubbish, they'd never have enough beer. you need a pub for that kind of rendezvous

Alright, alright, any suggestions?

besides, GT is already full of braindead folk so it would be hard to distinguish zombie from Freeride-xc-lite-jeyboy in Armour. I guess we could throw turners at the zombies though…

so you'll be needing a Pub that is easily defensible, near some trails and has good beer and plenty of bar snacks?

i'll have a think

why are we pre judging the zombies as being hostile/brain eaters.perhaps they are vegan,and just want a chat. 🙂

they look too healthy to be vegans

I think the trails have to come 3rd on that list mate, behind good beer snacks 🙂

we need an island – clear out the island and man the shore defences. something like the Ailsa Craig where they can't sneak up behind us 🙂

Fort Zombie – regular sailings from the Scottish West coast

Zombie:

The Celebrity Vegan Bryan Adams:

i'm going to go for the Stickle Barn pub in Langdale.

Not fantastic from a defensive point of view but it has great beer, many snacks and great trails nearby. Plus you get to re-start the human race with some of the rather attractive (non-zombie) bar maids