If they remade 'Allo 'Allo as a Hollywood movie: which stars for which part?

I’d really like to see this made with some of the ideas – inspired.

Not sure how well it would go with an international audience though.

*goes for a lie down at the thought of Rosamund Pike as Helga*

MoreCashThanDash – Member

*goes for a lie down at the thought of Rosamund Pike as Helga*

Take the tissues with you this time…..

Not sure how well it would go with an international audience though.

The French subtitles run into bother with the policeman about 15mins in 🙂

Scarlet Johansen as Mimi. She’s a short arse and they could probably work in some action scenes too.

Struggling with the Italian officer but I think Hans Geering, the German who gets sent to England accidentally would be better played by Christoph Waltz than Herr Flick as it’d be a comedy turnaround.

What about Depardieu for Rene? Old, crusty, outrageous French accent and inexplicably popular with the ladies (so I’m told)

Is Depardieu still alive ? I read an interview with him where he confessed to drinking 4-5 bottles of wine a day. I think he is a tax exile in Luxenborg or somewhere.

Indeed – how do you translate the classic line “I was pissing your café when I saw two tits”.

Rene: William H Macey
Edith: Frances McDormand
Herr Flick: Arnie Schwarzenegger
Von Smallhausen: Danny DeVito
Private Helga Geerhart: Julian Moore
Gruber: Jim Rash (Dean Pelton from Community)
The Italian guy: Al Pacino
The English gendarme: Sean Connery (the accent master)
The two waitresses: The Olson twins
The two RAF guys: Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman

What about Depardieu for Rene? Old, crusty, outrageous French accent and inexplicably popular with the ladies (so I’m told)

If that’s your criteria, Christopher Lambert?

Von Smallhausen

Peter Dinklage?

Armstrong and Miller as the British airmen.

Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.

Armstrong and Miller as the British airmen.

Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.

That’s like massively disrespecting my suggestion.

Any ideas for Capitano Bertorelli?
*Edit – That’ll teach me to skim through threads*

Gino D’Acampo for Capitano Bertorelli, surely?
Joanna Lumley as Edith.
Bryan Cranston as General Von Klinkerhoffen.
Rene seems a hard one to call, so I’m going to suggest Gary Oldman.
David Jason as Leclerc.

Toby Jones, for Von Smallhausen

My Yvette would be played by Angelina Jolie … with Salma Hayek playing the other little dark hair waitress

And David Walliams playing Gruber

Sean Penn looks like a nasty barstool, he’d be a great Herr Flick

Bruce Willis as Rene
Sharon Stone as Edith
Monica Bellucci as Yvette
Ralph Fiennes as the policeman
Armstrong & Miller as the airmen
Leonardo DiCaprio as Herr Flick
Scarlett Johansson as Helga

John Wayne as Rene,being dead and bad at accents is a definite advantage.

Johnny Depp as Leclerc.

Kathy Burke as Edith.

Steven Fry as the policeman.

Kylie as the short one.

Lady Gaga as Herr Flic

Rowan Atkinson as Rene.
Rene and Blackadder are the same person. Clever, witty, cowardly and surprisingly attractive to the ladies.

As a side note, this is why i spend so much time on this forum. Every now and again someone pulls a belter like this out of their undercrackers.
Outstanding OP.

Hollywood should never be permitted to get anywhere near Allo Allo.
Loving some of the suggestions here.

Dougray Scott and Ewan McGregor as the two English Scottish airman….

Mads Mikkelsen as Herr Flick.

Sacha Baron Cohen as Officer Crabtree.

Rick Moranis for von Smallhausen
My first thought was Gérard Depardieu for Renne

that bald one out of game of thrones for the colonel.

Gambon as Rene.

Alan Rickman (acting as Hans Gruber) playing Gruber

Surely David Walliams for Gruber?

What about David Walliams little Bald mate to play Rene’s wife?

This is ripe for a remake, but as other have said not by holiwood, but by some britich production company.