I was called a Flat Face. What is that all about?

Out for a pottle on the road bike today and I nearly hit a pedestrian. Tweed wearing toff walked out from behind his parked Range Rover right on to the road* in front of me without even attempting to look. I was only rolling slowly so easily missed him but I did mention that he should look where he was going. He went absolutely nuclear. Screaming that it was my fault as I should have a bell.

I obviously pointed out that he should calm down as his rudy faced rage made him look like he would have a heart attack. This didn’t go down at all well and he stepped things up a gear. He carried on shouting I should have a bell then called me a Flat Face.

Obviously I responded maturely by calling him **** face then rode off. But it got me thinking. I’ve been called lots of things in my life but never that. Any idea what it means? Should I be offended?

*Melrose, he was crossing from the Square to go into Burts. If you know the type of customer, you will know why I enjoyed our frank discussion.

If he’s in melrose he’s either old money, new money, or a consultant.

Sounds like old money.

Tosser.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flat%20face

Are you of asian or pacific island origin?

In which case – report it:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flat%20face

If he’s in melrose he’s either old money, new money, or a consultant.

I live here and am none of those things. I think he was one of the visiting shooterers given his twatty clothing, car and Burts combo

Not Asian or Pacific Islander, was quite muddy though. He’d have to be a particular numpty to make that mistake

If he’s in melrose he’s either old money, new money, or a consultant.

If he’s in tweed he’s a ****.

Or Basil Brush.

Sure it wasn’t ‘fat face’ OP? Made an early start on the Xmas choccies? 😝

He probably drives a 4×4 and lives in Darnick. You know the type!

He probably drives a 4×4 and lives in Darnick

Mum, is that you?

He probably drives a 4×4 and lives in Darnick

There’s a clue in the OP…

Tweed wearing toff walked out from behind his parked Range Rover right on to the road*

Well I’d say it was because you are from the cursed earth beyond the walls of mega city one. But then he doesn’t sound like the typical Judge Dredd fan.

Do blokes like the op describe really still exist?!

I’m from down in Kent, I’d assume he was genuinely in fancy dress or something.lol

Some people just need a **** good kicking.

Do blokes like the op describe really still exist?!

Ahaha. In the borders?!

Tory capital of Scotland innit. land = privilege.

Lord, what a messed up little island this is.

What year range rover? Blue SVR?

I think we need to see a picture of your face to decide whether he was wrong or not.

Lord, what a messed up little island this village Melrose is.

FTFY

It’s a well known fact that everyone who drives a Range Rover these days is a total bellend.

JP

It is a shame. Most idiots I see in RRs are older cars. Last gen posers. Not fresh v8 supercharged.

Do blokes like the op describe really still exist?!

I’m still surprised by how many there are…

yes in pre 2012 broke-back range rovers.

So…. I googled “flat face biker” and this came up.

I always imagined you as more clean shaven for some reason Frank?

Look in the mirror frank. Is your face actually a plate?

Well I would take it as a complement.
I worked with a brilliant fabricator in 1996 on our mill remodel whose nickname was Flat Face.
He was a man mountain who could rip your head off if he so wished but he was so caring and gave me so much information about good engineering practices in a flour mill.

I worked with a brilliant fabricator in 1996 on our mill remodel whose nickname was Flat Face.
He was a man mountain who could rip your head off if he so wished but he was so caring and gave me so much information about good engineering practices in a flour mill.

Was this him:

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Do blokes like the op describe really still exist?!

You’ve never been to Gloucestershire then?

**EDIT Although, if I’m honest, it sounds like there were at least one and a bit **** involved in this little fracas.

I wouldn’t worry. There are plenty of make up techniques out there to enhance your lovely flat features.

Barnard Castle is a good place to spot the country tweed set

Flat face could sound a lot like tw….

lthough, if I’m honest, it sounds like there were at least one and a bit **** involved in this little fracas

I think that is a totally fair assessment. I could have just cycled off, and probably should have done so.

Is it something to do with how inbred aristos value chin prominance and see having a jutting-out chin (like the Brit toff in family guy) as a sign of collective identity, hence making everyone else flat faces?
I know someone who lives in Darnick, didn’t know that was what others thought about her.

how inbred aristos

chinless wonders?

Armley square’eds (my grandfather qualified. Does anyone in Leeds – official worst place to spend winter – still say this?) have a certain cubic quality to the visage.

I should have a bell then

technically correct I suppose

At least your tools aren’t joining in the abuse

OP – Are you sure you heard the tweed robed one’s insult correctly? “Flat” can easily be confused something else a little more derogatory and coarse in the heat of the moment…..

Are you sure you heard the tweed robed one’s insult correctly? “Flat” can easily be confused something else a little more derogatory and coarse in the heat of the moment…..

Yep, could have been fat face or t**t face. He said it twice though so I’m quite sure he said flat.

You would have had a flat face if you had actually ridden into the back of his Range Rover 🙂