EPIC FAIL

It gets on my baps when someone has “done” a country because they visited it once.

In a similar vein, my brother once told me, whilst stood there with his pink cardigan draped around his shoulders, that he was thinking of “doing the London thing” for a couple of years.

Any phrase or sentence where literally is used as it literally gets on my nerves !!!

one from work “sorry for any inconvenience caused” no you are not because you have not asked you have told me what will disrupt my day!

“all priced to sell” – wtf does that mean!! Of course they are priced to sell its the classifieds dumbass

All of the above, but “Aw wiz like that” is a particular bladder expander due to the one person that uses it being an extremely stupid cow.

“Had it explained to me that it was a conflation of Chilling and Relaxing. The person in question seemed rather perturbed when I pointed out these words were effectively synonyms, thus rendering their linguistic mutilations somewhat superfluous.”

Don’t stop the anecdote there! I want to hear about the great sex you had next.

On the upside some new coinages are great. My daughter’s excuse for having a messy room is that she has a “floordrobe”, I love it.

thus rendering their linguistic mutilations somewhat superfluous

It’s a stylistic device. You know, sometimes speech is more than just simple communication.

Long live creative use of language I say, for all our enjoyment 🙂

+1 molgrips, you’re all a bunch of whining ninnies.

I don’t particularly mind their usage, it’s just when they are used by people clearly trying to be cool that it makes me laugh

We’re being ironic.

And FAIL is an internet meme from failblog.org – which is why it’s free from grammatical regulation and is always in caps.

I think fail might be older than that?

Nick – Member
EPIC FAIL

You’ll like this.

http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=epic

I could care less.

Also, the **** eejits at work have started using the word “onpass” to describe how they will disseminate information. I swear down, right, ( 😉 ) if someone EVER uses that phrase while I’m in the same room as them, I’ll “onpass” my fist so far down their throat that the next time they have a bowel movement it’ll have to tiptoe past my wedding ring.

“genuine reason for sale.” Does anyone ever sell anything for no reason? I’m selling this car for the reason that it’s genuinely fecked.

Blatantly misleading statistics. Eg, “Sale – up to 20% off!” – so, the most you will ever save is 20%, possibly on one item that you’ve now sold out of, and all the other sale items are reduced by 5%?

“Know what I mean?” – well, if you spoke properly in the first place, you wouldn’t have to ask.

“It’s six of one and a dozen of the other” – so, completely different, then?

“Boils my piss” – WTF? You’re totally so, like, a bunch of bill payers

“we played well” as said by some bloke in the office talking about a football team he doesn’t play for

and more recently..

“we’re all in this together” when clearly, this isn’t the case

“the proof is in the pudding” so you are prepared to take it at face value then.

“sleeps” instead of days i.e. ‘Only 5 more sleeps before I go skiing with Archie, hurruh!’

Anyone who says “Myself” when they mean “Me”.

eg Boss says “When you came and talked to myself last week..”

Don’t know if it is just up here in Scotland, but people who say they have ‘hurted’ themselves. Arrhghhhh!!

New one that I kept hearing last year was jamped, instead of jumped.

Again, don’t know if a West of Scotland thing.

Another – It’s my understanding…..

+1 for “jamp” instead of “jumped”.

I also get annoyed when people don’t understand that being pregnant is a binary state, as in, “How pregnant are you?”. I’ve definitely heard this said without a shred of irony.

“I’m not reading all that” or “I haven’t read all the posts but…” when using a forum. If you have something to say, at least read what has gone before to see if there is any point in adding it?

(slinks off before the reams of quotes where he has screwed up on the forum appear…)

On the upside some new coinages are great. My daughter’s excuse for having a messy room is that she has a “floordrobe”, I love it.

I saw a new version rcently of the lollerskates, roflcopter thing which was “lolcano” 🙂

Someone I have to work with, when making an appointment insists on saying “I’ll ink that in my diary”

I want to hit them in the face with a frying pan every time they say it. I can almost here the “SPANG!”

“with the best will in the world”
especially as it’s usually used to excuse poor / lazy / incompetent behaviour.

Using “off” after a cooking verb. As in “just fry off the onions”. Where exactly are you frying them off to? Surely you are just frying them. Annoying enough when chefs use it. Infuriating when anyone else does.

Don’t stop the anecdote there! I want to hear about the great sex you had next

If you’re email’s in your profile I could send you pictures instead?

Insulting someone then saying ‘.. no offence’ afterwards.

“Addicting”

Using the word “literally” when it’s not actually literal. What? You LITERALLY have contracts coming out of your ears? Might want to see a doctor about that, or at least contact HR.

‘Pan Fry’ – what else am I going to fry in, my hands?

‘its a nice space’ – when referring to a room in a houes – ‘…this is a nice space, i think we will have this as a reception room…’ – so thats a living room then? Numpties.

deep fry?

Stir fry?

At the moment its Masterchef speak from normal folk.

“Hmm yes there’s aniseed coming through”.

Sod off its a gobstopper ffs.

And the office grater at the moment is “Are we doing this?”. You don’t mean we, you mean am I doing it so **** off trying to pansy around it and ask me.

My boss’s catchphrase is “in reality.” It’s not annoying in and of itself exactly, but he uses it approximately every other sentence and once you’ve noticed it you can’t stop un-hearing it.

“we played well” as said by some bloke in the office talking about a football team he doesn’t play for

+1 to that. I ask people what position they were playing.

Hey Ho

That’s the correct way to address a prostitute, is it not?

Webinar, why make up yet another unecessary **** word, it’s still a seminar isn’t it?

Don’t know if it is just up here in Scotland, but people who say they have ‘hurted’ themselves. Arrhghhhh!!

New one that I kept hearing last year was jamped, instead of jumped.

Again, don’t know if a West of Scotland thing.

I reckon it is. My kids have started saying both of those and they don’t get it from home (English parents).