The missus is talking about us having a Humanist ceremony for our wedding. I don’t really know anything about it. I am a bit uncomfortable about being labelled anything as I don’t see myself as anything other than a person, although I agree with the values of Humanism.

Is Humanism a form of religion and is it something you sign up for much like say christianity? I would feel a bit hypocritical about having a humanist ceremony if so.

What are the other ceremony options? I would like to make an occasion of it so just going to the registra office doesn’t appeal.

Just interested in others thoughts on it and if any other options are available.

Thanks

The other option is for the registra to conduct the civil ceremony at a venue for you. Only some venues are licensed, your local resistra’s website will have a list on, then look up those venues for pics and prices etc. The registra will charge £200 or thereabouts.

My mam went to a friend’s humanist funeral/send off and it was basically a celebration of their life with no po-faced religious guff at all. It sounded good to me.

I’d imagine a humanist wedding ceremony would just be more along the lines of a wedding in a registry office with some nice bits tacked on, maybe in a field or meadow somewhere. A celebration of two people’s love for each other, if you will. 😀

edit- This is nicked from Wikipedia-

“Humanism is a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism, empiricism) over established doctrine or faith (fideism).”

So not a ‘signing up for’ thing, you won’t have to go for a swim in a white dressing gown or kill a rooster or owt like that. Just an idea that all people are the same and we should be nice to each other where possible.

If only all humans were humanists, eh? 😀

We went to one for friends in Edinburgh, they recognise Humanist weddings on Scotland so no faffing with a registry office. As kayla says it’s a celebration of the lives of the people getting married so it’s very personal to you.

My missus wants to go down this route as well. Neither of us are remotely religious and I’d rather do something which reflects us than be restricted to places that have a marriage licence. The registry office bit can be done before or after and you only need a few people there. There’s lots on their website about it and you can get in touch with your local celebrant (the person that does the ceremony).

s Humanism a form of religion and is it something you sign up for much like say christianity?

Dunno why, but this made me laugh. 🙂
You don’t sign up for christianity, do you?
And by it’s very purpose humanism is not a religion.

https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/non-religious-weddings/

We had a non-religious funeral for my dad. It wasn’t labelled “humanist”, just chose a celebrant rather than a priest/vicar/whatever. He was actually religious but did a great job. Even the folk who said, “ooh you must have the lord’s prayer” came away feeling we’d just celebrated someone’s life and didn’t miss any part of the religious gumph.

I’ve been to numerous Humanist weddings and funerals and wouldn’t consider them to be in the least bit religious. Mostly they just talk about the people involved and the consequences of their choosing to marry rather than what [insert deity here] thinks about the whole deal.

s Humanism a form of religion and is it something you sign up for much like say christianity?

Dunno why, but this made me laugh.
You don’t sign up for christianity, do you?

I more meant its something you believe in follow and live your life by much like a religion. Where as Humanism seems like a set of moral values that (decent?) people live by anyway.

I more meant its something you believe in follow and live your life by much like a religion. Where as Humanism seems like a set of moral values that (decent?) people live by anyway.

I know what you meant.
Humanism is just being a human. 🙂

Quiz !

Thought long and hard about this when we got married, I wasn’t letting a priest anywhere near me but without the whole ‘holy authority’ thing I didn’t see much point in getting someone in especially to do the ceremony when to us they have no more ‘authority’ to do it than anyone else.

In the end we did the registry thing well in advance and asked my mate big Metal Tim, who’s a bouncer from Birmingham and looks like viking, to be our ‘vicar’ on the day and to do the vows we’d written, he has a good booming speaking voice, did a cracking job and as a bonus he then did the DJ’ing in the evening.

A bit leftfield but worked for us, had a great day, still smile whenever I think about it.

My mam went to a friend’s humanist funeral/send off and it was basically a celebration of their life with no po-faced religious guff at all. It sounded good to me.

My uncle, and a good mates dad both had humanist funerals. They were both lovely events. The whole point of it is that you don’t need religion as some kind of validation of an event. Just celebrate life, and people, generally being a bloody great thing.

A humanist wedding sounds great!

OP the registrar can come to designated venues and conduct a non-religious service. My daughter had a proper traditional wedding, white dress, walking down the “isle” (ie between rows of seats in a barn), speeches etc etc but with no religious elements.

We had a humanist ceremony for ours but in order to do so we had to join for a year. To be honest it was more about the ceremony than the values and we never bothered renewing the membership due to the proportion of Dawkins-esque swivel-eyed anti-religious types.

If you do decide to go ahead my advice would be to talk to celebrants in the area you are going to have the cermony in order to gauge how well they fit. We spoke to a few and then had a face to face with the woman who eventually did ours and were pleased that she was so enthusiatic about our plans (a very much un-traditional traditional wedding – think de-sterilised registry office). We had our own vows and readings and such and it really worked. To be honest it sounds very much like Jambalayas daughters wedding.

Assuming you are in England/Wales then all the weddings I’ve been to like this have been registry in the morning or day before (absolute minimum attendance) and then the ‘proper’ ceremony later. Never been anything but a fantastic reflection of the people doing the deed. If not humanist celebrants are licensed to perform weddings in Scotland.

As per squirelking we have arranged a humanist as ive never been a church goer and thought it very hippocritical to start now and have no intention of returning and the humanist views fit better with my own views.

As per squirelking do try and see a few celebrants , we have ended up with one that is a friend of a friend of the family and it really enthusiastic about the whole thing. Which reminds me i really need to email her some stuff….. 10 weeks and counting here

iirc cultsdave lives up to his moniker suggests lives about 6 miles from me near aberdeen so should be no issues with a humanist celebrant doing it all although i could be wrong.

You don’t sign up for christianity, do you?

You bloody do.

Or rather your parents do it for you before you are allowed to make up your own mind.

I went to a friends funeral which was conducted by a Humanist. It was like an advert for Humanism, the only thing he didn’t do was hand out cards asking if anyone else was likely to be pegging out in the near future. I like the idea but it put me off them being just as self-interested as the bible bashers.
However, you can always get someone you know who gives a good speech to sign up to the Universal Life Church, which gets them a nice (free) certificate and the title Reverend then they can do the job for you.

my advice would be to talk to celebrants in the area you are going to have the cermony in order to gauge how well they fit.

…that’s the main thing. You certainly shouldn’t and don’t need to get anyone else’s ideology impinging in any way.

I organised a non-religious funeral for my mum a few years ago. Got a humanist celebrant because I didn’t know a Mental Tim equivalent basically you do want someone there who’s done it before to generally keep an eye on things, make suggestions as to content, running order, step in if someone’s unable to speak, whatever. In the event she didn’t have much to do at all but was a reassuring presence.

(We had a reg office wedding. Box ticking exercise* followed by a good party and a rather scary, people falling over, after-party. Seemed to work.)

*Yorkshire romantic.

Or rather your parents do it for you before you are allowed to make up your own mind.

Not true, you join about 11yo when you officially join the church or take first communion or whatever, even the Witnesses operate this way.

Baptism/christening is a pre-emptive but not actual joining. But this is OT…

And yeah, some celebrants are all about the cause but most that I’ve encountered are about the job at hand and are fantastic at what they do. Kinda like ministers really…

Read this

Read this

Did you? Cool.

We had a humanist wedding in France. We wrote our own vows in their entirety, it didn’t feel like any “type” of wedding other than being exactly as we wanted it without any necessary formalities tagged on purely because some religion/non-religion necessitated it.

As a follow up of tenacious_dog above, France is a secular country so the official wedding ceremony enshrined in law and carried out at a town hall is non-religious. It speaks of the marriage commitments like respect, partnership and bringing up children.

I got married last year & considered a humanist ceremony, but having been best man at one I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t really ‘us’ – i mean it was fine, but also £500-odd.

So we designed our own ceremony and got a friend of the family to host it. We picked music, readings, wrote our own vows, she gave a little speech about us, and she’s a bit of an old thesp so was ideal for the job.

We did the registry office the day before (with just witnesses), but all the rings and vows and readings in front of the crowd. It worked out great. 😀

We had humanist funeral ceremonies for both my parents. The speaker said a few comforting words on behalf of my mother (for the first one) brother and I when we’d likely have been too upset/distressed to say them ourselves.

Would recommend.

My mam went to a friend’s humanist funeral/send off and it was basically a celebration of their life with no po-faced religious guff at all. It sounded good to me.

+1 My friend funeral was humanist and very good. There were opportunists given for people to reflect in whatever way they felt comfortable so it was very inclusive. No pedalling of any agenda. Nice celebration e.t.c.

That quiz appears to want to divide all people into the religious, humanists and sociopaths. 🙂