I recently read a biography of Ulysses S Grant, the US Civil War General and later US President.
He was a flawed personality in several ways (less so than me) and he had this very interesting phobia which I think we could all learn from……………
HE WOULD NOT GO BACK.
No matter the river he was crossing on a horse was in spate and he might drown, he would not go back.
No matter he had been beaten to a standstill by his military opponent, he would not go back.
And, with a bit of reason involved on your part, i.e. don’t drown in the bloody river, it is a very good way to lead your life.
That bit of your life has finished, don’t go back, go foreword, even if foreword is just the next bike ride. And if that isn’t enough, make the next ride a longer one.
I’ve been there. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.
Best wishes, Bill.