Love the pain quote.
OP all this is normal – normal to chase down anyone and everyone. Normal to fail, normal to feel bad about failing, normal to feel bad about having no choice but to chase, normal to know you’ll do it next time even though you know you’ll fail. You will at some point have the upper hand and feel like a riding god.
It’s everyone else that doesn’t do/feel it that has the problem.
My worst fail was out on our normal Sunday morning ride in full garb with onewheelgood. I thought I was having a bad day and it was confirmed when a young lad in jeans riding a Halfords special left us – me – for dead. I spent the rest of the ride apologising.