Giving up alcohol

Bit of a controversial post this one…but after advice from people in the group that have given up alcohol? 😮
I’m contemplating it at the moment, not because of any issue with it. I only drink at the weekend and that’s normally a few cans or rum and cokes or share a bottle of wine with my wife. Also have the occasional session with mates every month or so.
I’m just a bit fed up if it being what I do if celebrating or when had a tough time. I’d also just like to get a bit healthier.
But one of my main concerns is that I do enjoy it and consider it big part of my social life. Not sure a weekend away cycling/hiking in the van would be the same without a few tipples.
Just wondered if anyone had any experience of doing it? Did it really have a big positive impact on your life?

I gave it up after getting wasted on my 39th birthday. People talk about being sick and tired of being sick and tired, I get that. The hangovers with young children in the house became unbearable. I was a classic binge drinker. I’ve had a few nights here and there but don’t miss it. Friends get it and don’t. Recently another friend gave up which makes life easier. I didn’t drink most of the week but when I did drink it would be all in, 10 pints and I would feel out of control. In my early 20s I was drinking 60 pints a week easily. Over the years I cut back significantly and do feel my life is a better place without it.

Bit of a controversial post this one…

It’s really not. Threads on moderating/ eliminating alcohol consumption seem to be almost as popular on STW as Politician Firtsname! Surname! threads.

Endless discussions on it.

Endless discussions on it.

There are always lots of really helpful posts from people saying how little they drink or how easy they found stopping. 😀

I would love to give it up and the only reason I haven’t is because of willpower. I don’t drink much but I find the short term gain of having a beer or two in my system is offset by sleeping difficulty, mood, confidence, my relationships and it’s unfair ability to curtail my exercise capacity.

I stopped drinking quite a few years ago firstly for health reasons it was contributing to and secondly I generally became a **** if I drank too much, I never really drank much but I started to dislike myself as a drinker.
I just stopped dead, no cutting back etc I just didn’t drink and I don’t miss it at all.

I am wanting to cut back significantly rather than give up but am finding it difficult to be honest. I started a thread on it a few weeks ago which I update to keep myself accountable (link below in case there is any useful advice in it for you) Dropping from 5/6 days a week to 3 was easy enough, 3 -1/2 I am finding harder. Willpower and the fact I enjoy beer is what stops me going all in and giving up.

Good luck with your journey
Linky to thread

But one of my main concerns is that I do enjoy it and consider it big part of my social life.

So why give it up? Would you randomly give up other things you enjoy for no good reason?

No way – what a horrendous thought. I just moderate it by not drinking on a school night. That of course is my perspective and maybe your situation is different.

Very interesting OP, I’m in the same boat but just fed up of the “heavy” feeling and dry mouth in the mornings after even just two drinks. Yet, I enjoy a nice drink and even moderating to a couple doesn’t change the morning after feeling. Cutting that out feels like removing one more small bit of enjoyment out of my life and one more cut in the death by a thousand cuts.

Will be interesting to keep an eye on this thread.

So why give it up? Would you randomly give up other things you enjoy for no good reason?

If someone has felt the need to start a thread on this topic, chances are theyre questioning whether they might have a good reason to stop.

And a good reason doesnt have to be something extreme, it can just be a case of alcohol not ‘quite’ being worth it. And not everyone places the same value on different elements of that equation.

Not sure a weekend away cycling/hiking in the van would be the same without a few tipples.

Well, theres much less in the way of 3am wake ups…

I’m very much a social drinker in that I only drink when I’m with a group of friends. However, over the years I’ve drunk less and less. To the point, where i frequently don’t drink on “occasions”. My friends and work colleagues have all accepted that I’ll normally have a soda and lime instead of alcohol and they’re quite surprised when I do drink.

My main exception to this is wine with a fancy meal, but even that is 50-50 whether I do or not.

It has taken many years of effort on changing how I view alcohol to get to here, and I still fall at the gate now and then.

I haven’t any particular trick to it, more a case of saying no to myself. It does make night’s out less amusing overall, but not hugely less.

I’ve just done my second weekend alchol free, it’s been quite tough going as was drinking far too much, doing the same tips as I did for giving up smoking putting the money aside for a treat at the end of a month.

What I find hard is I love the feeling of being slightly intoxicated and non alcoholic drinks just don’t really cut it, I’ve not tried the AF beers just going cold turkey with water and squash, I think I would feel cheated having a beer without the lovely effects.

Feel slightly better already, sleeping much better, and waking up is so much nicer with a clear head.

Stopped at the start of August, was drinking between 10-20 units a week which had been fairly typical most of my adult life. Not entirely sure why I stopped when I did, I was just aware it wasn’t helping me do any of things I wanted to do. Also accepted the fact 2 beers gives my a hangover.

It’s been positive in lots of small ways. More energy, better skin, feel more focused, less ups and down mood wise, saved a bit of cash. Nothing absolutely transformational in itself but it feels like lots of marginal gains.

The first month was definitely a bit weird. I didn’t have a strong urge to drink but did feel like my body was missing something. 2nd month more of the benifits became obvious.

I use to drink 2 or 3 pints a day but cut right down to 2 or 3 pints a week. Sleep better, feel better in the mornings, fitness gains, not waking up thirsty as much. There really are no negatives.

But one of my main concerns is that I do enjoy it and consider it big part of my social life. Not sure a weekend away cycling/hiking in the van would be the same without a few tipples.
Just wondered if anyone had any experience of doing it? Did it really have a big positive impact on your life?

Haven’t had a drink for over 12 years now, last one was on the 9th October 2010. I gave up for medical reasons that were nothing to do with excessive drinking or even it’s effects.

My social life before that used to involve drinks regularly, in the pub, with meals etc. Nothing mad but my friends always had a drink to relax so I would too. That all changed after two accidents in quick succession: one big cycling crash that knocked me out for a while and a choking incident where I lost consciousness for a bit too. That scrambled my brain up and I was advised not to drink for 6 months. By the time I could again I was basically am uber-lightweight as even a small drink would give me headaches for days afterwards. Couldn’t be bothered to retrain myself to tolerate the stuff so just gave up!

Was it a positive? No but then it hasn’t been a negative either. My friends who knew me before took a while to adjust to me not drinking, some thought I was attention-seeking, but once they realised I was essentially a free Taxi for nights out they got used to it. the friends I’ve made since have never made an issue of it so overall it’s been a non-event. The biggest adjustment was getting used to seeing alcohol everywhere and it’s effects on people. It’s not until you start to think about it from a sober perspective that you realise just how ingrained it is into everyone’s lives and that a lot of people rely on it as a social crutch to varying degrees. Once I’d got used to that though it’s been plain sailing. Well, apart from one christmas where I was stopped at a Police random Breathalyser checkpoint and the officer thought I was being funny when I answered his question of “when was the last time you had a drink?” with the exact date. It was 3am and I’m presuming he’d had a tough shift so my cheeriness probably rubbed him up the wrong way.

From experience…

Get used to people thinking you are weird and/or anti social. Also get used to people assuming that you have to drink to enjoy yourself. “But don’t you want to have a good time..”

I found the less i drink, the less i want to drink.

The biggest adjustment was getting used to seeing alcohol everywhere and it’s effects on people. It’s not until you start to think about it from a sober perspective that you realise just how ingrained it is into everyone’s lives

This is very true, and the basis of so much judgement when someone chooses not to drink. It really shouldn’t be a big deal, but society still thinks it is. Interestingly, i think it will be less of a deal to younger people, a lot of teens now don’t place much value on drinking.

I gave up last year after years of drinking at a semi-professional level. I was suprised that I could just stop drinking but I did.

I missed having a beer or wine glass in my hand during the evenings so drink AF beer which is not a substitute beer, just a substitute cold drink, as it doesn’t have the same taste/aftertaste/effect regardless of how good the adverts are.

The social stuff was a bit strange as everyone was used to me being the first at the bar and the last man standing. I found it easiest just to say that I have bust my liver and most friends just nod and said that I have broken everything else so why not. The novelty passed and it basically goes unnoticed now. With new people there is the occasional question but there is no great stigma – more akin to saying you are a vegetarian but not a vegan.

The biggest down side for me is the staying awake and not turning off the thoughts/voices that is the hardest thing for me. I now force myself to go to bed at 11:30pm and force myself to lie in until at least 6:30am but before doing this I was up, awake and alert for 18+ hours a day which is a long time to fill.

I largely don’t drink. I’ve a bottle of beer and a few cans in the house but they’ve been there a while now.

It’s not that I went out to give up, I just kinda decreased my consumption.

I will still have a drink, working away with dinner or a night out. No where near to the same extent and happy to nurse a pint.

As said above alcohol is everywhere and there is a preconception that you’ll drink and you have to etc.

Probably not too bad a way to save a bit of cash too.

Stopped drinking at the start of June. Only exceptions were a couple of pre-arranged weekends away. I don’t really miss it TBH. Was a struggle breaking the social prompts but AF beers helped with that, but now I don’t really drink them either.

Only time I do miss it is a glass of wine now and again or when in a pub that does nice/interesting beer.

Don’t miss the dry mouth or feeling groggy in the morning. Controversialy I don’t think my health has really improved and I don’t think I’ve lost weight, even though I was drinking more often than not.

For your scenario, maybe just drink when you go out and limit it to a pint or two.

This was me last night in the Buxton Brewery tap.

There was a good article by Adrian Chiles in the Sunday Times a few weeks back with lots of tips for cutting back.

I gave up 02/01/05 after a very heavy Christmas and New Year.

I’m a bit all or nothing and was quite an enthusiastic drinker which, no doubt, could have gone seriously sideways.

I used to dryanuary. The year I gave up I just continued. Try February as well, try first quarter, first half etc and continued. Once you’ve broken the habit (spell?), it becomes normal.

People can be dicks but I usually make a joke of it. Finding Islam, broken liver, on antibiotics etc etc (not trying to offend anyone here).

There’s a limit to how many soft drinks/fake beers you can drink before getting fed up with them.

You become the DD. I don’t mind running my Wife around but I won’t be everyone’s/anyone’s taxi.

The biggest down side is, if I don’t feel like going somewhere I now don’t. Before, I would just have a couple of drinks and all good. Mebbies a bit more curmudgeonly now 🙂

I’m lighter, healthier and fitter now and have total recall of all the daftness the piss heads get up to which I have great delight in breezily reminding them early the morning after…

I also enjoyed answering Plods ‘when did you last have a drink?’ question with a specific date many years before.

If you think you need to, do it. You can always start again if it doesn’t suit you. Once you’ve broken the first few weeks, you’ll be ‘free’ to decide what’s best rather than responding to habit which is (probably) where you are now.

I quit 3.5 years ago. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Before making that decision, I never would have thought I’d be capable of fully quitting. I drank regularly, at home and socially – and had a high threshold so I could put away a fair bit.

Anyway, like others have said, many tomes have been written on the subject in this parish, including many a comment by myself. Do a search and you’ll find plenty of tips.

Just take a ‘tactical break’. I did and haven’t gone back. The positives of being alcohol far outweigh the negatives.

Breaks away are much better. You don’t mess up your routine by staying up late drinking and you can be on the bike at 7am.

Try this: https://drchatterjee.com/is-it-time-for-a-tactical-break-from-alcohol-with-andy-ramage-re-release/

I need to give up. Not that I drink much at all, usually 4-5 drinks would be enough for me. It’s not the hangovers, although they are a pain and I just end up feeling crap and wasting a day, but it’s the mental damage. I drink because it makes me feel better and when you suffer from anxiety constantly I give in and drink to help. And the days after are always hard days.

It’s definitely worth trying not drinking for a while. I gave up for 2019, mostly to see if I could and what it would be like, started again in 2020, drank too much too often during lockdown (like many of us) and stopped again in March this year.

It’s odd, especially if you’ve got used to drinking. Once you step away from it, you see how alcohol is EVERYWHERE. And I definitely get it, I’ve been at social situations where I’ve thought “if I was drinking, I’d probably end up finding this entertaining” but have made the sober, sensible decision to make my excuses and leave.

But off the booze I sleep better, find I have more energy, have lost some body fat, enjoy weekend mornings as I’ve got a son and a dog, and proper friends have adapted to me not drinking. I definitely don’t judge anyone else for drinking, if people have asked why I’m not drinking I just say I’m stopping for a while.

A curious number of people will try and justify their own drinking to me. This sometimes happens later in an evening, but friends telling me _they_ don’t have a drinking problem, _they_ don’t need to stop drinking, _they_ can drink in moderation… always without me asking, always without prompting. I’ve never judged anyone for drinking or for not drinking, my choice was only concerning me, but some people feel personally attacked by your choice. I’m sure some people like that will pop up on this thread – like they find the idea offensive that one person might make a decision for themselves alone to stop drinking.

Like with anything else, if you want to give up, give up. And remind yourself that you want to give up. Like on the stopping smoking thread, as long as you keep telling yourself that you’re missing out on something, that you’re burning up your will power fighting the urge to partake in something enjoyable, you’re going to fail. But if you actually want to stop for a while, and you remind yourself that, it’s way easier to just stop for a while.

I hesitate to recommend this, because it’s definitely not for everyone, but if you want to STOP drinking alcohol, not just cut down for a bit, listen to this audiobook in full:
https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Fastest-Way-to-Stop-Drinking-Guaranteed-Audiobook/B00OQPJ8GM

(You should be able to listen to it free of charge if you try an Audible subscription, which you can then cancel)

It’s by a Brit, it’s very non-judgemental and it’s easy to listen to.

I drink because it makes me feel better and when you suffer from anxiety constantly I give in and drink to help. And the days after are always hard days.

I think this is a good point.
The best thing about not drinking for a big is that it breaks the link between having a bad/stressful day and needing a drink.

I still have a drink now, but it’s because it’s a social occasion, and it’s usually in the pub, rather than at home on the sofa.

Well, because my work I’m on an enforced 4 weeks on 4 weeks off alcohol. The ship is dry, so that means I can’t touch a drop for the 4 weeks I’m at sea.

Therefore, I’m totally rubbish at drinking when home. A few pints doesn’t turn me into a bumbling fool, but it does make me feel rotten the next day. So limiting myself when off the ship is really the only option. I can’t say my life is any the worse for it.

I do like to have a drink or two, but that’s because I like the beer, Rum, Wine, whatever it is, for itself. Not the effect it has on me.

i gave up a couple of months ago.

my thread is here:

Giving Up The Booze

For me, a couple of drinks on the weekend were my usual. But when i had a few too many, which wasnt often, i became a right nobber. Usually with my wife getting the brunt of my nobbery.

I decided to give up drink and havent experienced anything negative. I will still drink on the very odd occasion ( i had 2 bottle of beer at a recent wedding), but ultimately i am alcohol free.

I have AF beer sat home and quite enjoy them. Its that first cold gulp that hits the spot for me, rather than the alcohol content in them. Also, it costs a little bit less than stuff with alcohol in.

My free time is precious to me, so the thought of writing off a few hours riding due a hangover just doesnt seem worth it to me.

As others have said, not drinking is almost a taboo subject. I mean how can someone possibly have a good time without booze in hand?! Madness i tell thee!

To go back on what i said earlier, there is a draw back to not drinking… you get to see the utter pillocks people make of themselves when the booze does kick in. Its pretty embarrassing. But hey, we are all different and its up to them if thats what they want to do.

I would say dont force a zero alcohol on yourself, especially as it doesnt sound like you drink a massive amount, just reduce it to pretty much nothing, other than special occasions or events. That way you are not letting yourself down/breaking your own rules as and when you do have the odd one.

Finally, for me, the easiest way to give up/reduce was to not have it in the house. So start there, see how it goes and enjoy the ride!

If you only drink to get drunk instead of actually enjoying one or two, or if you can’t stop once you start then better off quitting completely.

I used to drink as a hobby and was pissed most nights then I met my wife and finally grew out of it.

Now I can go weeks at a time without a drink but I do like a glass of wine with a meal or a spiced rum on a winter’s evening, or a couple of pints with pals. One of my proudest things is never been drunk in front of the kids.

Yep, another who gave up – no glasses of sherry at Christmas, or anything! I’m guessing that was 15 years or so ago now (yikes). Deffo a positive change for me, but that was starting in a different place to you OP. Fair to say I wasn’t just having a few cans on the weekend. I decided to stop for a month after the monster of all new years, but then decided to stay stopped. The weeks/months after this were trickier, oddly as one feels better (and slimmer). I decided to stay with it though and alcohol is just something I don’t “do” now. My partner has a glass of wine most nights though. Still like going out for drinks with colleagues and pals too, but if things are getting very messy I’ll part company for the night (and be fresh for a ride the next day!).

Thanks for all the comments, great to get peoples perspective on this. I’ve actually got a pre arranged session on Saturday so think I’ll drink at that and then try to pack it in until Christmas and see how I feel then.

The best thing about not drinking for a big is that it breaks the link between having a bad/stressful day and needing a drink.

I was just about to post this – how do you deal with the crappy days at work or just general life crappiness or stress whilst trying to come off the booze?

I always wonder if a quick smash on the turbo to get some endorphins going might do the trick but it’s usually the last thing that I want to be doing after one of *those* days…

Just take a ‘tactical break’. I did and haven’t gone back. The positives of being alcohol far outweigh the negatives.

Breaks away are much better. You don’t mess up your routine by staying up late drinking and you can be on the bike at 7am.

Try this: https://drchatterjee.com/is-it-time-for-a-tactical-break-from-alcohol-with-andy-ramage-re-release/

Having listened to this yesterday today I went out on a Company meal drinking sparkling water with a slice of lemon. Twice it got compared to a G&T, and a couple of times the Micky was taken but I was glad to walk away from 4 bottles of wine and some Whisky Sours all of which would have been free, completely and utterly alchohol free. Andy Ramage is right. The pull to join the crowd is strong, the comparison and desire to others “likeability” as there inhibitions loosen is tricky – especially as I’m introverted – but I’m confident I’ll function so much better than the rest tomorrow morning.

It’s a start.

I always wonder if a quick smash on the turbo to get some endorphins going might do the trick but it’s usually the last thing that I want to be doing after one of *those* days…

At the time it’s hard to think like that, but after you think “that was worth it”, easier said than done I’ll admit.

As for abstaining, when I do, I avoid AF beers, just torture, generally I’ll have a soda water and lime out, and a San Pellegrino at home.

Main thing is to change the habits that trigger the urge for a drink.

But one of my main concerns is that I do enjoy it and consider it big part of my social life.

You are not ready to give up. All successful tools to help you combat addictive behaviours start with the idea that what you are doing is a positive change. “Giving up smoking will be better for my health and wallet”, and so on. So far, so obvious, but…

In order to make this work, you really do need to be a frame of mind that says “Each day that I don’t do this behaviour is something to look forward to”. When I gave up smoking, I couldn’t wait for the start of each day, so that I could be a non-smoker for another day, and the next and the next, It was easier because I really really wanted to be a non smoker, after the initial withdrawal, I knew absolutely that I’d never smoke again, and I never have. You could sit me in a room full of folks smoking and offering me ciggies, and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

That’s the mindset you need, unless you’re utterly convinced, you won’t manage it. The person that needs most to be evangelical about it is you, and the fact that before you even start, you’re having doubts, means you probably won’t succeed, because you haven’t actually even convinced yourself.

When the Mrs was diagnosed with cancer we gave up the booze. But I found the low/non alcohol stuff is terrible.
until I tried the Guiness no alcohol. It’s just lovely

Also a good motivator is the NHS Drink Free Days app, if you’re serious, ticking off the day’s you haven’t drunk is quite rewarding. I would advise that you take the amount you save with a pinch of salt.

Generally I find after 3 straight nights it gets easier and I enjoy having a clearer head and being more focused.