Girlfriend / Wife problem

**** me!!!!is there anybody stable that has come out of Oakfield?

update……..come on

how does the old joke go?

50% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house… 95% of men kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife

No Sign of Tankslapper since he said he was going to the pub.

I recon he’s face down in a local gravelpit.

I recon he’s face down in a local gravelpit.

Is that the contemporary terminology for “muff diving”?

Phew! Probably one of the weirdest days of my life. And unsurprisingly it’s thrown up yet another ‘moral’ dilema!

Lunch was actually good, the girls even managed a rather embarrassing session of talking about me and my little foibles – cute, but embarassing!

Alright now the ‘dilema’ bit. There’s seven days in a week so here’s the problem. The girls have both decided an equal split of days – three each. Trust me this was not my decision. The wife has me Sunday, Monday Tuesday, Wednesday’s a day of rest. The girlfriend has me Thursday, Friday and Saturday. (three way suky fluky was discussed but I declined on moral grounds)

So the problem is that since this is all ‘set in stone’ thanks to the two girls then HOW THE F*** CAN I GET OUT TO OUR TUESDAY CLUB NIGHT?!

All that springs to mind is WHAT THE F***

Yes! FFS I’ve just bought a new bike too! I’m actually pretty pi$$ed about this as I wasn’t really included in the discussion. HOW FLUCKING SELFISH CAN YOU BE?!

Perhaps Aleigh and the ‘girls’ on here can let me in on how the female mind works? This is either:

(a) I should be the happiest bloke in the world

or

(b) A few months of this ‘arrangement’ and I’ll be begging for mercy / divorce!

…and finally the penny drops that we’ve been feeding the troll 🙄

You must be doing SOMETHING right…
The guy on my right shoulder says BELLend, the guy on my left says LEGend. 😆

I’m thinking double right.

##################close this thread now, its just sheeite, tankslapper, i do not believe a word any more and even if it is true you are just a fukin greedy twit,you shoul have been honest in the first place it will all end badly and you will be alone and sad and the new bike will end up bein sold off in the settlement, dont be deluded, , get a life of your own, try living in the real world,

The wife has me Sunday, Monday Tuesday, Wednesday’s a day of rest. The girlfriend has me Thursday, Friday and Saturday. (three way suky fluky was discussed but I declined on moral grounds) my big hairy fat arse, didnt you say they work together? it wouldnt work, you had your 2 pages of posts, and the STW folowing it, its not fooling anyone, pics wont even proove it, unless its your head on a fookin pike nice try tho

When this thread first started, i read the OP and dismissed it a poor joke.

A few days later it appears again, so i take the time t read it all.

My conclusion is..

I’ve just wasted another 20mins of my life, however i’m loling at the gullibility of some…

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion

So define normal on-topic discussion?

Right better get of to bed – I need all the rest I can get these days 😉

yep, that last post was clearly rubbish.

[applauds] marvelous. wound me in! Thanks for making my on call over this weekend a little less painful!

The guy on my right shoulder says BELLend, the guy on my left says LEGend

lol

ahhh you poor sausage.. you’re that stressed out you haven’t seen the obvious solution.

wife Sunday/Monday/WEDNESDAY, GF Thursday/Friday/Saturday thus leaving Tuesday free for you

say “thank you Martyn..”

So glad it was all a wind up. I was on the receiving end of ‘husband having affair’ and it’s not a joke. It was about a year of wanting to die/kill myself. Now of course it’s been 8 years with StuE and lots of mountain biking, so it was all worth while. But glad TS isn’t really doing this to wife. He’s still a t*sser though.

On the other hand, if this is all on the level, then it’s one hell of a good thread!

Just speed read this thread.

Gullible Muppets.

Sws Cooroo – we’ve all been through the mill.

I thought it was fairly obvious as a wind-up but heh! There ya go.

Been through divorce once (10 years ago) so there’s no way I would entertain that nonsense again. Very happy living in Wales with my wife – and no I have no time for other women……except my daughters.

Call me whatever but having survived a very messey divorce I have placed those problems so far back in the past I can actually joke about it, no matter how painful. Call it self defence I guess.

Anyway it just goes to show – DON’T FEED THE TROLL 😆

Silly billys. Slapper does have previous of stuff like this, and it’s always been funny.

Stairway to Heaven Rolf – raaassssppeeect.

Don’t know why people get upset about this sort of thread, I thought it was entertaining.

BTW. Either you enjoy forums [sic], or you think they are a waste of life. I don’t think you can hold both positions. Personally, I find them way more entertaining than TV.

Well put Buzz – It’s entertainment……..

For my next thread I was thinking ‘plane on an escalator’

Now will the real Fred Dibnah please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up!

rubbish

Nice one TankSlapper. You got me… Glad to hear that the real you isn’t a to$$er 😉

still a tosser

You must have been really bored tankslapper!

As for how the female mind works – even I can’t work that one out so you men don’t have any hope at all 😆

Booo, no pics then…

No pics hairy sorry – if I could only get an expert in photoslop then I’m on my way. Thinks…………….

Aleigh

I get bored easily!

How the female/male mind works? Frankly if you could have figured out that pile of pi$h I would have been very worried about you! 😆

Let’s face it what sort of a wife would be THAT understanding? Or husband, let’s not be sexist!

There’s only one Mrs.TS for me 😀

What happens if the girls each get their own boyfriend when you’re not around?

Superb, very entertaining, alot of people got sucked in, though i think most of us wish this was real

Who can top this??

🙄 Kin hell TS……you barsteward I expected a punchline at the very least. You’re a very naughty boy!

You know it big boy!

I claim some kind of prize for coming in pished on Saturday night and seeing it was bollox all the way through

Fair play deadly 8)

‘LOL, 30 something posts an you guys are still falling for it???

Sorry dude, I don’t believe you.

Maybe it’s because I’m abso,utletly slashed !! ‘

Countzero’s comment about the thread having a certain ‘Schaudenfreuda’ that he found appealing also made me smirk – a lot!

😆

HEHEHE! Quite amused how some of the people on here are so quick to bite…

what i want to know are you still getting you Lapierre Zesty 514 ?