I tried to get a traditional greasy spoon breakfast today. It came all piled up on the plate masterchef stylee with sourdough toast not fried white sliced, a wee salad garnish with ruddy coriander and poached not fried eggs! at least it was on a plate not a slate I suppose!

the worlds gone mad I tell you. when I were a lad……………

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2mhuuBc]237101131_10158212826063388_4445377668159728556_n[/url] by TandemJeremy, on Flickr

Looks terrible, how you must have suffered etc etc

No avocado?

Theres something gone very, very, very wrong when the dominant element in a cooked breakfast is a tomato

+points for what looks like a slice of fried spam

Besides that is clearly not a traditional greasy spoon, the floor isn’t lino the tables have 1 leg instead of 4 uneven ones and there are no red, brown and yellow squeezy containers for the watered down tomato and brown sauces and mustard. It even says bistro on the cup FFS you only have yourself to blame.

Shocking I tell you! I am slowly working my way round the local cafes getting brunches – so far I have had pomegranate seeds on eggs benedict, coriander on a fried breakfast, everything seems to be soughdough toast not nice healthy white bread
its shocking I tell you. My nearest proper greasy spoon has closed down so all I can get is hipster food. 5 other people in the cafe. 2 men – both with man buns and hipster beards!

Were those curated herbs foraged from the nearest gutter?

+points for what looks like a slice of fried spam

Square sausage mate – makes spam look edible!

No avocado?

they did have smashed avocado toast on the menu!

Get Yerself to Wetherspoons, full breakfast and a pint.

I tried to get a traditional greasy spoon breakfast

and the fact that it’s clean, has laminate flooring, everything painted in muted Farrow & Ball, and a bloody vine creeping up a column, didn’t hint to you maybe you’d stepped through the wrong door? 🤣

That’s what ye get for living in Edinburgh, call it your penance! 😆

Theres something gone very, very, very wrong when the dominant element in a cooked breakfast is a tomato

This^^
and it looks like they have overdone the square sausage,cretins.
I do however approve of beans being kept isolated from ….EVERYTHING.

🙂

I’m hungy now… that looks great.

Bring back Little Chef. Couldn’t beat an Olympian.

…

I am now pondering the Venn overlap between actual Olympians, and people who’d ordered an Olympian at a Little Chef.

Apart from the beans in a pot, the tomato pumped full of ‘roids and the ball-sack poachies, that looks great

I do however approve of beans being kept isolated from ….EVERYTHING.

Agreed. The only way they could have improved it even further is by leaving the silly little bowl in the kitchen. Or not even opening the damn tin in the first place.

Vile things.

Pomegranate on eggs benedict? 🤮

I am now pondering the Venn overlap between actual Olympians, and people who’d ordered an Olympian at a Little Chef.

My guess – it’s nil.

TJ, sounds great to me, sourdough is superior bread, end of.

Apart from the beans in a pot, the tomato pumped full of ‘roids and the ball-sack poachies, that looks great

you left salad garnish off the list

If you get a baguette in our local with salad instead of chips, you get strawberries, blueberries and grapes in the salad? I mean wft!

Pomegranate is the King Fruit according to the Moors of days gone past and every fruit has the same number of seeds. Enjoy that fact whilst growing a man bun, it’s a brave new world!

MSP – my closest proper greasy spoon closed down last week – this was the nearest thing to a proper cafe I could find!

and the fact that it’s clean, has laminate flooring, everything painted in muted Farrow & Ball, and a bloody vine creeping up a column, didn’t hint to you maybe you’d stepped through the wrong door? 🤣

This.

Finest full grease of course is this place.

You’ve identified a number of serious failings with that breakfast. But for me the minuscule portion of beans in a little pot is the real crime. I want an island of sausage, egg and toast floating in a sea of beans.

Finest full grease of course is this place.

Not any more, sadly.

I love pete’s eats.
Had a fair number of days in there when it was too grim to go outside, trying to wipe enough condensation away to see outside

Oh no it looks like they used good quality ingredients – horrendous.

I’d be happy with that, if I’d expected an interpretation of the Full Scottish, but not if I’d wanted the real thing. Needs more tradesmen shaking dust and talking to Jewsons on the mobile.

Since I read your post while my bacon was cooking, here’s my lunch.

Does anyone hear banjos?

Not any more, sadly.

Noooooo.

Since when and what happend?

(It’s at least 10 years since I was in there…)

Looks good*, fried bread gives my the dry boak.

*apart from the deep fried tattie scone, and overcooked slice sausage natch.

every fruit has the same number of seeds. Enjoy that fact

I call fake news!

No black pudding?

This is an outrage!

every fruit has the same number of seeds. Enjoy that fact

What a load of shite.

Just as well it’s lunch time, that’s got me salivating. Go on give us the address, that’s worth naming and faming.

I see you took your own mug 😛

Potato farl? That would make up for the other sons for me 🤤

Can you just post details on my “things to do in Edinburgh” thread, I draw the line at coriander on a fry up. I draw the line at coriander on anything, to be fair

What is the world coming to.

“Square sausage”! Honestly ye ken nihin. It’s **** Lorne, ken!

An fits at green shite on top, eh?

Ye bams are getting fit ye deserve!

No black pudding?

This is an outrage!

No – black pudding is the outrage – its not a foodstuff. ( I actually asked for no black pudding – disgusting stuff)

boudin noir however…………

It was in “the clock on the shore”

Love square sausage. I know I’m on holiday when presented with a Calmac breakfast complete with square sausage.

At least your beans weren’t “deconstructed” though. Sign of peak hipster twattery.

What on earth are deconstructed beans?

Also, surely boudin noir is black pudding? If you don’t like black pudding you’ve probably just never had the good stuff.