Funny things people newly introduced to cycling say . . .

I did run them fashionably inboard for a while didn’t notice any difference. So gone back traditional stylee.

binners – Member

I’ll put my brakes and shifters wherever I damn well fancy! Didn’t realise they were some kind of badge of honour!

Ah you made the mistake of forgetting this is STW and hence you are just a retarded rambler for doing what the vast majority do.

Dont let them dictate to you. 😀

I’ll put them where i can use them, not where is apparently fashionable!

How much is ….?
HOW MUCH!!!!!!

LMAO – double post man! Great minds etc….

I’d like to get a light bike. Oh no £300 is far to much and it’s not even got a rear spring like the Asda one.

Lol maybe I should be less mean but it’s been a long day

In what way is it a mountain bike if it doesn’t have any gears? The other one is “but you can only ride one bike at a time” to which I would ask how many pairs of shoes they own.

“I’m going to need a comfier saddle – one with gel”.

/\ this..

“50psi? Thats more than the car tyres!!”

You recommend/put 50psi in your MTB tyres??

I’m trying to help a friend at the moment get a bit of confidence on a bike, however I cannot convince her that her feet do not need to be able to touch the floor when she is seated on the bike and that the reason it hurts is that her saddle is too low!

“You could buy a car for that!”

Binners +1

Also why are you always fiddling with your bike, if it cost that much it shouldn’t need anything doing to it.
Ever heard of preventative maintenance and regular servicing?

I’ll put my brakes and shifters wherever I damn well fancy! Didn’t realise they were some kind of badge of honour!

You think putting the brakes where they work best is just some kind of badge of honour?

Blame it on Archimedes and all that fashionable nonsense he spouted about levers.

“I built mine myself/I had the man at Halfords build it for me”

The giveaway is that the brake levers are absolutley horizontal, necessitating an uncomfortable bend of the newbie’s wrists.

“I want back suspension, I saw this bike in Tesco…”

“Where do you put your water bottle?”

And said to me more than once on a trail whilst I was sipping from my Camelbak – “Wow, does that contain extra oxygen?”. If only!

You don’t have inner tubes in your tyres!!??
HYDRAULIC disc brakes!!???

“How do I get faster”

Stepson 2 has been riding his bike for best part of two and a half years, which I’ve built up out of spare bits for him. I haven’t held back on the spec but he doesn’t take me seriously.

He came home from school the other day and told me that he’d been chatting to a mate of his and he wanted to upgrade his brakes. He decided that he wanted Avid Juicy 3 hydraulic brakes as they’re better than the ones on his bike. I asked him if he knew what brakes he already had… 🙂

If I have my brakes as far in as I want them, I can’t reach the shifters properly. Is that just me?

I get lots of kudos from newbies and oldies alike for riding a single speed. Shhh, don’t tell anyone else, but it’s an Alfine…

My dad swears that the LBS he got his Spec hardtail from set his bike up correctly despite the fact he can sit on the saddle with his feet flat on the ground.

Other half had me chop down the seatpost (wouldn’t go low enough as it was) and put a gel cover on the saddle to make things easier for her.

I argued about the first, the second I didn’t really want to get into a fight over. She doesn’t ride enough to make a big difference and when she does I’ll adjust it properly.

“You could buy a car for that!”

I got the Evans catalogue through the post the other day, and there was a BMC time trial bike in there for £8999.99.

I’ve been riding for decades and that’s still the first thing that sprang to mind.

‘Shouldn’t cycling help you lose weight??’

*Is Birches Valley this way ?*

*Is The Monkey this way ?*

*How do I get to the car park* ?-
Which car park ?
*Er…*

Do you have to get your frames specially made/reinforced? 😯

I am a bit of a fat biffer 😳

“Why do you need more than one bike?”

“you went up there? on a bike?!”

“You’re only faster because you have a better bike”

we swap bikes…

“You’re only faster because you’re a better rider”

….. 🙄

“why would need more than one bike” I get a lot. Once to howls of derisive laughter in a pub as about 5 colleagues were in hearty agreement that surely one bike is all you would ever need.

And from newbie riders “my wheel is flat (puncture)” and “my tyre isn’t working properly (wheel out of true)”

I once witnessed a bloke having a meltdown after taking his son into my old LBS (RIP) and storming up to the counter to complain about how much the bikes cost. The assistant rather cooly replied “the toy shop is four doors down mate”.

There are hills in Surrey?

[countered by my own – the “summit” of Pitch Hill!!!]

This is a mean thread you mean sods! Everyone had to start somewhere.

but to continue…. 😈

Does anyone elase get really frustrated when they see people riding along with their saddle so low their knees barely make it over 90 degrees? They often have very colourful cheap helments that look huge and funny.

When I bought t’other half a rockhopper I used to keep sneaking the saddle up and up each week. Sometimes she would notice if I did it a bit too much but eventually she did admit it was much nicer to ride and started moving it up herself as she got more confident.

Have also attacked friends bikes with a set of allen keys to adjust bars, contols, saddle etc and they are always amazed at how much nicer you can make a bike feel without spending a penny.

SHifters/levers against the grips isn’t a faux pas but it is indicative (tho not always an actual fact) that the user has not experimented with their setup and found what works for them. I’ve seen brake levers pointing up. Put ’em where you want I don’t care as long as it works for you, just don’t leave them where the bike shop did (unless they set it up for you properly) thinking that’s “right”

I remember riding my brand new bike home then raiding my dads tool box for allen keys to mess around with bars, levers, shifter, saddle etc, dad complained “it’s brand new what do you need to fix it for?” that’s a tricky one to explain away, well to pig headed facetious fathers anyway 🙂

newbies don’t normally say much to me, either too out of breath going up the 20% climb we take right at the start or quietly grimacing at the pain in their knee/elbow/whatever from the off they had on the techy downhills I’ve taken them down.

Might not be kind but it soon sorts the wheat from the chaff, if they turn up for a second ride they are serious 🙂

I think a common one – and you see it quite regularly – is people riding with their helmets on back to front. And about 2psi in their tyres

Donk – Surely getting the allen keys out is the first thing anyone does when they get a new bike home? 😀

HYDRAULIC disc brakes!!???

I’ve heard that from an olympic-hopefull roadie…

upgrades. newbies always going on about upgrading this and upgrading that.

how do you upgrade a saddle? 🙄

how do you upgrade a saddle

Ti 🙂

How many gears has it got.?

My friend in Whistler mountain bike park:
If I knew I had to stand up on the pedals for descents I would never have come!

Is my seat to high?

Errr…No looks alright.

You sure?

How the **** do I know?

Do you ride over bumps and things?

How many gears has it got?

I get asked this too, it makes me have to stop and think. I probably only use about 3 gears (climbing, pootle and road chomping)