I’m ever hopeful that this forum isn’t stuffed to the rafters with fine specimens of homo sapiens boomba boomba and suspect that there are a number of people who are at the other end of the bloater spectrum. So what is the dietary advice for people who want to gain a few pounds?

Eat more do less.

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Plenty of advice in the Four Hour Body. However you might experience cynicism overload if you read it 🙂

Do a ride like ours yesterday – 3 cafe stops, 3 lattes and cake – might be the first time i’ve come close to being calorie neutral after a ride rather than in deficit! 😆

Pump iron, drink whey protein and inject steroids

So what is the dietary advice for people who want to gain a few pounds?

Move North 😆

Un-iDave diet:

6 days a week pig-out on anything you like.
1 day eat nothing but beans & pulses.

Should see substantial weight gain, diabetes and massive heart attack in no time.

043 by Shinythings2, on Flickr

I assume you mean gaining lean body mass? In which case, yes, of course I have a plan 🙂

Maybe he wants to get fat and then try to lose it, as a gesture of solidarity? Or he thinks in order to be virtuous you have to first sin?

Gaining lean body mass is indeed what I mean. Feel free to share your plan.

I am done with being cynical for a while.

There’s this one here

Drac – I know that one and it is indeed very good, but sometimes people just fancy trying something else.

Well if you here anything let me know as I’ve never found a one.

Please Feel free to share your plan.

😉

iDave – OK please KING iDave I’m begging you to share your plan. 😈

The decent thing would be to buy a training plan from him – that is how he makes his living after all.

can you not just ensure your calorie intake is grotesque on the idave diet

should still end up 10-12% body fat and the protein intake should be substantial enough to build up if you exercise appropriately.

(……says the beanpole)

Is the iDave diet suitable for lady-folk? Mr Toast wants to go on it again, and obviously it’d make life a bit easier if I’m not having to cook two sets of meals. Bit worried about dropping dairy because I have a family history of osteoporosis, although I’ve read you can get calcium from beans? And are Crunchies allowed? They’re mostly honeycomb, which is a bit like a vegetable…

mrs-alias is on it

I’m with soobalias. Surely the iDave diet is already perfect for these aims. Maybe add a bit more chicken in for good measure.

I am willing to share the yetI diet. It’s substantially different but it works for me 🙂

I also would be very interested in this. I am 6ft 2in and weigh about 9.5 stone wet through – I have just started cycling to work every day (14 miles round trip) and normally eat like a horse that is really hungry!

My normal days eating is:

Breakfast: Bowl of Cheerios, glass of juice and coffee.
Lunch (11AM): Chorizo sandwiches on white bread with real butter, 2 chocolate bars (Fruity Clubs out of preference), 2 Apples, A yoghurt drink and a packet of Walkers Crisps.
Lunch (1PM): A big Tupperware of pasta etc from last nights meal (Always balanced as the kids eat the same as us).
Supper (6.30PM): Large balanced meal.

This is all interspersed with cake (When available), tea and Coffee…

At home we always use whole milk as well – non of that watery semi or skimmed malarkey.

Anyone have any idea how to get this to stay on me?

Thanks.

Rysz.

Mrs Toast – dairy does contain calcium but there’s a school of thought that suggests dairy actually bad for your bones rather than good, because when you break it down into its components the net result is acidic, which leaches calcium out of your bones.

In any case you end up eating lots of eggs which have calcium don’t they?

Oh and exercise, specifically MTBing is excellent for bone density 🙂

rysz – you should get wormed.

PMSL@TSY 😀

OK, I’ll put together something low-octane and suitable for free distribution. I expect it to be dismantled by the experts but I’ll take the pain. Can I assume the goal is to get that ‘Y’ shape so craved by Men’s Health photo editors?

Y shape like this guy on the left?

So what is the dietary advice for people who want to gain a few pounds?

eat cake, ice cream and custard, loads of it, with added sugar, everyday.

Kev

iDave – Member
OK, I’ll put together something low-octane and suitable for free distribution. I expect it to be dismantled by the experts but I’ll take the pain. Can I assume the goal is to get that ‘Y’ shape so craved by Men’s Health photo editors?

Just so I don’t blow away in a stiff breeze would be good!

The Southern Yeti – Member
rysz – you should get wormed

Not the first time that I have had that mentioned, but I have been checked and am all clear – no hyper-thyroidism either. Just inefficient I guess…

Rysz.

Can I assume the goal is to get that ‘Y’ shape so craved by Men’s Health photo editors?

the only photograph of me where i looked like i had any sort of bulk, i was wearing body armour
scarily, i actually looked normal at that point (the other 4 guys however……)

so i need bulk on my shoulders, elbows, chest plates and back protector, ideally to the point i could wear a full facer and not look like i was going to do my neck in, holding my head up

suitable for free distribution

You **** well will not! Over my dead body! We’re not that far away from a Bentley y’know.

If you want to put mass on this is an extremely good program in my experience
http://www.hypertrophy-specific.com/hst_index.html

eat cake, ice cream and custard, loads of it, with added sugar, everyday.

Ah, you’re familiar with the Mrs Toast diet then?

I used to put sugar on my Frosties and Crunchy Nut Cornflakes…

Cougar’s KiloCalorie Chip Butties (pat. pend.)

Deadly, don’t worry, it’s part of a cunning plan…

What colour of Bentley are you having?

so i need bulk

Honest question – why? Is it for self esteem issues? If so then get a grip 🙂

Surprised no-one’s posted this yet – BEEFCAAAKE!

molgrips – Member

If so then get a grip

Jeez, is there anyone who’s not pedalling something these days?

My guess is that few on here are pedaling bikes

iDave – I wouldnt be to sure about that given that there are so many fatties.