Do you guys name your cars / bikes?

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  • Do you guys name your cars / bikes?
  • My bike is called Helen after Helen Mirren and my cars are called Siggy because I thought it was a Signum (turns out it’s a vectra) and The Impregnator (named by a female friend).

    Do you name your bikes and cars, and if so, how did those names come about?

    Premier Icon scaredypants


    (I do quite like “the impregnator” though – is it a mid-life crisis penis compensator ?)


    Nah I’m not a chick

    Premier Icon andytherocketeer


    my bikes and cars have all come with a name, so i use that name

    Premier Icon scaredypants

    … or possibly a Honda Jizz ?

    Premier Icon scotroutes

    I have a bike called Onion.

    Premier Icon beej

    Never done it before but my new car is “The Great White Buffalo”.

    Premier Icon Rubber_Buccaneer

    No, that would be gay.

    Well I am gay


    My car is called Colin and my bike is called Esmerelda


    yerr, I do

    It’s an in-joke between me and Mrs yunki really

    Just bikes though, not cars… that would be weird

    Premier Icon the-muffin-man

    My old skoda is called ‘Muffins Mouldy Manky Mobile’ – its a right shed bit refuses to die!


    I call my car John Major as its grey and boring.

    Premier Icon SaxonRider

    I don’t name my bikes or cars, but in terms of naming, as much as I can not stand Jeremy Clarkson, I did think it was hilarious when I heard he bought a donkey and called it ‘Kristen Scott Donkey’.

    VW Westy – George
    VW Syncro – Bessie

    Bikes are bikes, occasionally called **** bitch on some rides

    My kids named my bikes. There’s Silvery, Greeny, Bluey, Whitey and Orangey. Don’t worry. What they lack in imagination they make up for in gnnnarrrrrlll!!!!


    I named my friends car, Gary.

    Premier Icon benji

    The car is called Bernadette (BMW 318ti) it’s predecessor was called Bertie (BMW 316i), as the newer one was a lighter colour so looked more girly it changed gender, and Bertie as it sounded posh and it was my first step into bmw ownership.

    Motorbike is called Kayla, as it’s a tart of a thing bright orange zx6, kind of made me think of Kayla Collins.

    Yes as you have guessed first letter of brand is the first letter of name.

    Bicycles all have names as well, Candice the cyclocross bike (Cannondale SuperX), Charlotte the mountain bike (Cannondale M900, it’s bright yellow, and was rhymed with Charlotte the bright yellow harlot)

    Think that gives you folks enough evidence to convict me of being a nutter.

    Premier Icon tomhoward

    Summer road bike, Madone 5.2 – May
    Winter road bike, Trek 1.5 – Ellen
    Inbred – brandine
    Previous ones
    Intense SS – Lola
    Orange hitman – Betty
    Gt it1 – marilyn
    Spesh SX trail – didn’t have a name, didn’t last long.
    Spesh demo 8 – beauty

    I need help…

    Premier Icon Pik n Mix

    My commuter bike is called Colin.

    Have never named any car or bike, closest I have come is something to do with the reg, don’t really see the point.

    No, but my cock is called Jeremy.


    Zesty, at times when I bought one they were rare. It looked really cute, but it behaved god damn dirty and kinky on trails. It liked being spanked yet stayed so cute even after dirty session. So because of such developing character it got the name = MrTuTu.

    Rockhopper, became = Donkey. Bland looks, yet it took so much abuse but it still carried on. You try to show it some anger and it always pokes forward on climbs with gutso taunting rider to give it more. Those are babies of mine.

    Cars … I don’t develop such a close relationship. Don’t know why.


    Not only do I name them, but I also thank them after good ride and apologise when I crash them – perfectly normal, surely!

    Premier Icon bearnecessities

    When I was younger, yes.

    Astra GTE – Bob
    Kona Explosif – Splat
    A beautiful E30 325i – Ethel, after the kind neighbour that allowed me to park it on her drive after the tyres were slashed when I first bought it.

    Premier Icon bruk

    Named the 1st car I shared with my sister, a 12 year old ( at the time ) two tone metallic paint 1.3 litre Fiesta called Felix.

    Not named any till replaced the wife’s car and as we chop and change between cars and now have 2 large black cars they are known as Bertie and Bertha. Or Berthla as my 3 year old calls the new one. Makes it easier to tell him which car to get in as we wrestle his brother into a car seat.

    Never named a bike though.

    Premier Icon Northwind

    Not ashamed to admit I used to talk to my motorbike, not like a person (that’d be mad!) but like a useful dog. That’ll do bike. But it didn’t need a name, it knew who I was talking to.

    My old Focus was the Big Red Skip and I seem to think of my Mondeo as the Turbowhale, or when it is misbehaving the Mothershit. Not against naming pushbikes but none of mine have ever really aquired a name.

    Premier Icon seven

    Not as matter of course, but did call my 25 year old rode bike The Broom, after it’s latest make over. No prizes for guessing inspiration 🙂


    scotroutes – Member
    I have a bike called Onion.

    Or is that just the font, Druidh?


    Cars have been:
    The Tardis
    The Rust Bucket
    The Repmobile (which the OH named Percy)
    The Toyota
    The Hyundai
    The Van


    I reserve names for living beings.

    Giving an inanimate object a humanised name somehow cheapens life.


    Bikes have been

    Suzey (Specialized)
    Avril (GT Avalanche)
    Connie (Canondale)
    Ingrid (Inbred)
    Rosie (Rocky Mountain)


    Bruce (17 year old Mazda who should have died but kept going and going)

    F&%^!@# pile of complete &%!@#&& (Kia Sedona which ate through expensive parts

    The Truckster (Isuzu twin-cab pick up)


    Just acquired a 2014 Crack’n’fail SL1 clown bike,soooooo……….it’s called Dubya. 😐

    Premier Icon JoeG

    Do you guys name your cars / bikes?



    Only one bike has a name, my Chameleon.

    His name, is Mr Jumpy.


    Yup I do..
    My Parlee is called Bob
    My Niner is called MrSchmancy
    My CX is called Wilfred
    My Dahon is called MrD

    Orange Fella (or Tangie)
    Mr Tickles


    Do you guys name your cars bikes


    Tom B

    So it turns out that stw is actually full of teenage girls rather than middle aged IT dorks. Who knew?!


    I said earlier that naming cars is weird, but I’d conveniently forgotten my first car..
    A battered red mark 3 escort estate, 4 spotlights, loads of primer, a chopped down, un-colour matched spoiler from an orion ghia bolted to the roof..
    It was called Garlic Bread and to illustrate the point it had the name scrawled all the way down the passenger side in grey primer


    Absolutely – they always have and they always will!

    Bike #1: Jambon
    Bike #2: Fromage
    Bike #3: SS
    Last bike: Lollipop
    Car: Aldous
    Last car: Fritz


    Prince William (inbred)
    George (dawes)
    Margorie (another dawes)
    Minty (polobike)
    Took (peregrin)

    Mr Woppit

    Yep, fully anthropomorphised.

    Zippo (road bike)
    Florence (road-rigged 2001 Stumpy)
    Ramona (Brompton)
    TheLuvliChunkiMunki (Orange 5)

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner

    I used to have a Daewoo Nexia called Shedric.

    I really, really miss that car.


    The only car to have a name (apart from “The Panda”, “The Golf”, “The Omega”, The piece of shit/The Rover” and “The Passat”) was my Frontera.

    For some reason it was called Wurzel, possibly because it was a tip, was full of straw and spent a lot of time filled with things like dogs, gardening equipment and logs.


    friend had a green fiesta called “charlie” it just seemed appropriate name for the house car.

    Don’t really like people naming inanimate objects but my last car was called motherfcker 1 as a kind of protest . I actually got to quite like it .

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