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  • Crap cars that are actually great
  • mcmoonter
    Free Member

    Citroen XMs were possibly the 90’s most maligned cars.

    I loved mine, bought it for £600 and ran it for four years and about 60,000 miles. It handled really well with active ride suspension, was HUGE inside with good fuel economy. I had no doubts about driving it to the south of France all the way from Fife, twice.

    It eventually died when the clutch cable snapped. Its replacement was a dash out job. A C5 appeared on here, Its on 120000 miles now. Nowhere near as charismatic as the XM but its been a surprisingly durable workhorse.

    orangeboy
    Free Member

    Nothing wrong with the jimny over the page with a good set of tyres they work very well off road add a little lift are can do some mad things

    CountZero
    Full Member

    hora – Member
    GET THAT PUMA OUT OF THIS TOPIC!

    Too bloody right! Never considered a ‘hairdressers car’, some considered it a ‘girl’s car’, but EVO Magazine loved it, thought it was one of the best little sports coupé’s you could get for the money, and I well remember Tiff taking Clarkson and the other Top Gear presenters around a circuit in one, Clarkson looked genuinely terrified as Tiff got it sideways round the bends.
    I desperately miss mine, a fabulous little car to drive, revvy as ****, and dead comfy too, my 6′ frame fitted perfectly.
    If I had the money to afford to run one, I’d buy another in a heartbeat.

    scaredypants
    Full Member


    I had a green one of these for a few years (early-mid 80s I reckon) – fantastic car

    wilburt
    Free Member

    Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Lancia Y10.
    I had one sometime in the early 90’s it was a wonderful, reliable and quite comfortable car which as well as day to day duties took me on a touring holiday around Scotland. Mine even had an earlier cvt type auto gearbox.

    Replaced it with an Escort which I immediately regretted as the Ford was properly crap in comparison.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    I’ve done.

    ax – 1.1 popular – fiat panda 750.

    All brilliant fun.

    theador
    Free Member

    Bought one of these to stop getting the Bimmer all muddy. Brilliant. Get two riders and their bikes IN the car easy for trips to Wales.Load it up and get a winters worth of cr”p to the tip. Fashion some blinds on the windows and sleep in the back. Best of all it goes like an absolute rocket, even if it does still have a national trust sticker in the back window.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    with a bit of sharpir action

    National trust = nathional thrust

    milky1980
    Free Member

    In order of me owning them:

    Volvo 240 GLT Estate – slow, ugly, thirsty (20mpg tops) and a horrible image. Amazing car for doing a summer of festivaling with a marquee in a trailer behind it. All my mates took the pee when I bought it for £20, by the end of the summer it was held in high regard. Nicknamed ‘The Tank’.

    Kia Pride – seriously, it had a good 1.3 engine and was so bad you just didn’t care about it.

    Citroen AX 1.0 – slow, flimsy and poorly built. Leaned like hell on a mild corner! Indestructible, floated in floods and would go pretty much anywhere. Nicknamed ‘The Tank’s illegitimate French lovechild’!

    Ford Ka (54 plate) – had the later Duratec engine so went better than the early Endura’s. My favorite car I’ve ever owned, even more than my Mini. So much fun to chuck around, no tech to go wrong (well, the cassette player broke) and ridiculous fun in the snow 😆

    bikemike1968
    Free Member

    I had one of these.

    Brilliant fun, sideways everywhere. Remarkably competent in snow.
    Broke down constantly though 🙁

    h1jjy
    Free Member

    I am another one to say Fiat uno (Lancia Y10 I had a MK2 45 fire as my first car. 45 is the BHP.
    Huge on the inside and quick for the power it had.

    The start of the topic says the KA, this is a great little car and if you can carry the speed in the conners can make it quick and tons of fun to drive. The 1.6 Sport KA is even better and the Street KA is also very good.

    P-Jay
    Free Member

    The Ka was a MASSIVELY popular car when it first launched and pretty much turned Ford around in the UK (or maybe the Focus did, whichever car first) but I agree they’re bloody brilliant!

    I had one for a week in work after my boss crashed his car and got it in replacement and refused to drive it – if you drive them like a complete tool they’re amazing fun – they snarl, pop and growl and you can throw them about – they’re as good as Original Mini owners think thier cars are – it was 2003 but i remember it now, started it up, pulled away and it was dog slow so I floored it and it shot off, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 90 right out of trading estate – braaaaaap Boss (in the passenger seat) says shouts over the sound of the tortured engine “bloody hell, what are we doing!!!”

    24 miles per hour…

    Feels like a rally car, sounds and feels like you’re giving it the full Ari Vantennan up Pikes Peak, whilst not breaking the law or doing 3mpg – what’s not to love.

    Kato
    Full Member

    Ah the Rover Coupe! I had the 1.6 Honda engined one and loved it. Didn’t hold up so well in a crash mind you! Awesome glass roof panels!

    northernmatt
    Full Member

    A quick look on Autotrader pops up a few Ka’s within 20 miles all for around the £700-800 mark with surprisingly little mileage on. Definitely a contender for when the other half finally gets round to learning to drive and steals the Berlingo off me.

    colournoise
    Full Member

    +1 on the Y10. I had a 1.0 turbo. Mental little car once the revs got up!

    Also had a 2CV. Would only do 80 flat out, but would run flat out all day. Felt like you were scraping the door handles on anything remotely resembling a corner. I loved it.

    Have to add the original Fiat Panda. Petty much an updated 2CV in my mind. Basic but fun.

    mitsumonkey
    Free Member

    Spectacular picture fail! Sorry

    😳

    trail_rat
    Free Member

    A quick look on Autotrader pops up a few Ka’s within 20 miles all for around the £700-800 mark with surprisingly little mileage on. Definitely a contender for when the other half finally gets round to learning to drive and steals the Berlingo off me.

    Thats because they like to rot like mad.

    Sills , rear quarters, and floorpans.

    Got asked to take a look at my neigbours daugters with a view to repairing for them . No danger i was touching that.

    PePPeR
    Full Member

    Watch out for bodged up rust repairs in Ford Ka’s, they are one of the last truly great rusting cars especially around the fuel filler cap/rear wing!

    northernmatt
    Full Member

    I think the fuel filler cap rust thing they copied off the Mk3 Fiesta (same floorpan) as both mine went there, although I managed to break an engine mount in the second one before the rust killed it.

    breadcrumb
    Full Member

    Peugeot 106 1.5d Graduate. Bought for £250, ran it for a year and sold it on for £250. Brakes were shocking, 0-60 was measured in days but it handled well for what it was. Never had less than 60 mpg out of it. Taught me how to read the road better.

    It was the first car I didn’t give a shit about, I’d quite happily bounce it off hedges or park it in dodgy areas.

    In fact here it is squeezed in next to some inconsiderate arsehole.

    And yes the Lexus had gone when I came back which means the chump had to climb in from the passenger side.

    takisawa2
    Full Member

    Love my Mondeo.
    52 plate 130hp TDCi with nearly 180k on the clock.
    Drives lovely, never less than 40mpg, & it can shift a bit too.

    uphillcursing
    Free Member

    Don’t think we have had one of these yet:

    The Fiat Strada. Cost me $300 and never missed a beat till I sold it on a few years later. Huge (relativly) inside.

    garage-dweller
    Full Member

    I agree with hora!

    The 107 is amazing fun. Tiny skinny tyres, an engine with the torque of a hand held blender but am interior that will fit a family of four, a mclaren stroller and a rucksack in the boot, incredibly tactile to drive, enormous sense of speed (even while reversing into a parking space).

    Fun, fun, fun 😀

    Could I have one as a daily driver doing 20000 miles a year probably not! But as a rental car on holiday for a day or two fantastic (especially in purple)

    garage-dweller
    Full Member

    I had a beige triumph acclaim as my first own car.

    That was a surprisingly good motor. 1300cc twin can engine, comfy, and surprisingly quick. You could get a small mtb wheels and seatpin off in the boot too.

    mattg73
    Free Member

    I second the Ford Ka. Had one as a hire car in Italy about 12 years ago. Thrashed it round from Rome and up through Tuscany on dirt roads and all the side streets. It was like a go kart…

    However not a patch on my C reg (1985?) scarlet red Vauxhall Nova 1.0 saloon bought for £800 in 1996. My first car- Looked like an old mans car but was a fantastic servant and brilliant fun. Kept fixing it with bits and bobs from a Nova breakers garage ‘Just Novas’in Long Eaton. Happy days.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    breadcrumb – Member
    Peugeot 106 1.5d Graduate. Bought for £250, ran it for a year and sold it on for £250. Brakes were shocking, 0-60 was measured in days but it handled well for what it was. Never had less than 60 mpg out of it. Taught me how to read the road better.
    It was the first car I didn’t give a shit about, I’d quite happily bounce it off hedges or park it in dodgy areas.
    In fact here it is squeezed in next to some inconsiderate arsehole.

    And yes the Lexus had gone when I came back which means the chump had to climb in from the passenger side.
    POSTED 2 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

    I like to play that game with rented vans for work only i sit in the drivers seat eating my food and watch them crawl across.

    Xylene
    Free Member

    Proton 1.5mvi 3valve

    I paid 150 quid for it
    dec
    Discs snapped the first time I used it, had to be still sawed off.

    Never put any oil in it. My mechanic mate one day decided to check it over for me after hooning around it to find nothing on the dip stick, in fact it was dry. Car kept running.

    I used to drive it through Heaton in newcastle, at 30-40 over the speed bumps 4 up and it just jumped the bumps like Daisy Duke. When I was designated driver on the way back from clubs, it was always entertaining if a mate had picked up a girl to see their faces as we bounced along the road.

    One of the lads spilled a macdonalds strawberr mlkshake in the passenger footwell, just before we went out one night. Car didn’t get driven for about a fortnight after that, in the summer time.

    When we cam back there was this wonderful pink mould living in the footwell and on the seats. It was like a free retrim.

    It was an amazing car.

    samuri
    Free Member

    MK2 cavalier

    Looks terrible, drives terrible, not even remotely exciting, goes FOR EVER. NEVER, EVER DIES!!!!

    Mine went past 200k miles like it was just getting run in. All I replaced were tires, brake pads and the clutch bearings. Absolutely nothing else went wrong with it. When it sold it at around 220k, it still ran perfect, started first time,every time and was in great condition.

    solarider
    Free Member

    Land Rover Defender (waits for flaming…….)

    I have owned 5 90s and a couple of 110s. By any standards, a ridiculously poorly made, uncomfortable, slow and uneconomical choice. Objectively a crap car. You can match the off road performance in much much more sophisticated ways these days.

    But I bloody love them!

    Living with one is not the never ending charming experience that people might have you believe, and the idea of owning one and actually owning one are quite different. But they get under your skin.

    Returning home to the UK from Asia in a few weeks with our newborn and facing a commute, so I have had to succumb to a sensible 3 Series Touring but I think there is always room for a Landy rusting away gently on the drive!

    olly2097
    Free Member

    Citroen Saxo VTS 16v.
    0-60 in 7.2 seconds (source dependent)
    Sublime handling.
    Will do near 80mph in second gear.
    Exactly the same car as much lauded and sought after Peugeot 106 gti.
    Now rare.

    Universally hated for being chavvy and being confused with the very common and lesser spec VTR model that adorns carparks on a Fri eve.

    Makes a wicked track day toy and will no doubt one day be sought after once the stigma has passed.

    Woody
    Free Member

    Still miss the old Ford Cougar. Mr Clarkson loved it and so did my Wife so there can’t really be any argument as to its greatness !

    milky1980
    Free Member

    That Strada’s reminded me of my dad’s car list:

    Fiat 127 x2
    Fiat 500
    Fiat Strada x2
    Fiat Uno x3
    Fiat 126
    Fiat 126 BIS
    Fiat Panda
    Vauxhall Cavalier mk1
    Hyundai Pony X2LS
    Rover 213 S

    Loved them all apart from the Rover. The Pony had a crap Mitsubishi engine so he bodged a turbo on it, suddenly it was rather rapid! Was meant to be my first car but the bulkhead collapsed 🙁

    mudshark
    Free Member

    Can’t remember the lst time I saw a Cougar, for some reason I always felt my Puma was the better buy. I sold my Puma 4 years ago but still had some spare wheels/tyres in the garage which I finally got rid of on Ebay. Bloke that bought them arrived in a Jag and had the Puma as his 2nd car.

    Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    2CV.

    I saw one in the Maritime Alps in Italy, at about 2000M altitude, on a track that was rough as a badgers, and it just took it all in it’s stride. Most folks I know with Chelsea tractors wouldn’t have ventured where he was.

    Not saying that they’re good or owt, but was impressive.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    My brother had a Cougar 3.0 V6 and at the same time a friend had a Vectra V6.

    The Vectra was actually a nicer car and a much smoother engine.

    stumpy01
    Full Member

    northernmatt – Member

    A quick look on Autotrader pops up a few Ka’s within 20 miles all for around the £700-800 mark with surprisingly little mileage on. Definitely a contender for when the other half finally gets round to learning to drive and steals the Berlingo off me.

    Yeah, watch for rust! My Wife’s one got chopped in because of the rust, but it had never been in a ding and was well looked after. I think it was 9 years old with about 70k miles on & our local garage warned us of impending rust doom from underneath (the bodywork was fine) so we got rid.

    twinw4ll
    Free Member

    Simitar sst 1.8 turbo.

    hora
    Free Member

    Mrshora once said I never know what car you’d turn up in next but when you turned up in a Puma I remember the moment you said 10yrs previous that one day you’d scratch that itch.

    I’m glad I did. the rust was well rusty but the 1.7 engine was rev-tastic peach. Lovely car. The dashboard was weird- never had a car with a dashboard that far away from me.

    legend
    Free Member

    takisawa2 – Member

    Love my Mondeo.
    52 plate 130hp TDCi with nearly 180k on the clock.
    Drives lovely, never less than 40mpg, & it can shift a bit too.

    Despite the crappy sub-frame bush setup, dodgy handbrake cables, diesel leak in the engine bay and the fact that it began cutting out on the motorway, I loved my 53 plate Zetec S. I was always amazed at it’s ability to keep up with a colleagues ST TDCi, even when making considerable progress.
    When not having fun it got me a long way into France (from Glasgow) before I started getting paranoid that the fuel gauge must be broken

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