[Closed] Commuters - weirdest things shouted at you by a driver/passanger?

Can't remember if I was commuting or not, but was riding my recumbent past some drunks on a bench, and one of them shouted "Hey, you could choke your chicken on that!" 🙂

Had a transit van passenger scream "CYCLISTS ARE F**CKING W**KERS!" at the top of his voice the other night. Probably not that weird, which is in itself weird.

In order of funny;
'It hurts when i pee!' shouted at me from a van
'Get a ****1ng horse!' shouted from a little nova (still don't get that one)
'****er!' shouted from a bmw

Last year, had a car pull level with me and a young lad leaned out the window of the car to give me some coaching for what felt like half a mile, it went something like this...

'keep peddling', only so many miles to go', 'if it does not hurt you are not trying', 'you can catch them', 'burn it up, ' come on you are not trying' , 'get those legs moving' ' that's it your catching them up' etc..

Even offered me a drink!

Had me in stiches at the time and when they did pass eventually pass, they had 4 mtb's on the back 😉

"Your back wheels going round mate"
"so's yours"
The funnyest bit was he looked, then the other two blokes in the van started laughing at him.

On a more eventfull commute:
"come back here you f***ing f**ot, I'll f**g kill you, get here, you f*ing........." etc

We pulled up outside the pub on a night ride, when their was a loud [b]"OI!!!"[/b] shouted over at us. We turned around to see the occupants of a stretch hummer all flashing their norks at us 😀

was once riding round Lancaster Gate with a female friend when the actor that plays Nast Nick out of Eastenders drove by and shouted at my friend "lucky saddle!"

"bike wan*er"

Nasty Nick from Eastenders is John Altman & he lives in Surbiton. I saw him once in Waitrose & was so tempted to go up to him & say 'hello ma'. Apparently he is returning to Enders soon!!! I haven't watched it for 10 years though.

'get a car you gay!'

Waiting at some lights, someone once commented that my chain was flat.

It was so hilarious I assumed he was an internationally-renowned stand-up comedian with their own prime-time tv show. Or something.

🙄

I had 'Oi lads its Lance Armstrong' - I'm quite impressed he knew who lance armstrong was!

A mate of mine was riding his Cervelo P3, which has the rear wheel cutout into the seat tube. Some chavs pulled up next to him and the passenger said "Mate, why is your back wheel trying to catch your front wheel up?"

Another mate of mine noticed that the passenger in the car pulled up next to him was trying to take the stuff out of his back pockets, so he emptied the contents of this energy drink in the guys face. The guy was just stunned and the driver was pissing himself laughing!

I love the wheel catch up. Ima have to use that.

"Is that a downhill bike?" was shouted at me by some teenagers when I was riding a hardtail with fully loaded bikepacking bags! 😕

From a woman who overtook and then side swiped me deliberately.

"Stop following me! I'm sick of you tapping into my phone and stalking me!"

An emergency call and a few hours later she was admitted to hospital... Wierd ride.

Van driver: "Use the cycle path!"
Me: "Have you ever ridden a bike down here?"
Van driver: "No"
Me: "Well F%$k off then."

I thought it was funny anyway 😀

Man in car - "Fancy f--king dying today"
Me - "Go on then big man, knock me off my bike and kill me. Show your wife and kids how hard you are"

All because he couldn't over take me because of a traffic island.

Even when he could get by, he continued along side making threats to harm / kill me. This caused a bit a traffic jam and the police turning up. Sadly as soon as he saw them he was off.

Today's original roadside banter was "D1ck head!" by some schoolkids

My girlf passed some primary age girls in the street and one shouted after her "Hey lady! Hey lady on the bike!....you just made me wet myself!"

Stopped at a red light and a guy who had previously called me a gay c**t starts with the usual road tax rant, I pointed to his passenger that turned out to be his wife and asked him if he paid extra to transport livestock. He was unimpressed.

once got hit at about 20-30 mph by a florist.

lying in the road bleeding she told me i should have had lights on...

i looked up at her, illuminating her stupid face with my head torch, and pointed to the scattered bits of bike, amongst which were my still shining full set of lights off me bike.

gotta laugh i suppose.

Only one I can remember was someone asking me what was wrong with my wheel, as I had just built it I thought I should look which bought him much pleasure.

My missus never believed me about all the random cycling abuse. Then during her very first week commuting through Edinburgh some guy saw her go past and shouted:

[b]"Who the f do you think you are? Linford f***g Christie?"[/b] 😯

For the sake of clarity: my wife is white, has long blonde hair, was riding a bicycle and is definitely of the female persuasion.

Driver: Who do you think you are, Eddy bloody Mercx?
Me: Nah mate, I'm Jens Voigt.

"get off the ****ing road, trespasser!"

By a volvo driving farmer who promptly went up the hedge on black ice.
Dangerous really i nearly crashed laughing.

I've had "nice ass"

"Spider legs!"

They aren't skinny and I've not got eight of them, so I can only assume because like most normal men, they're hairy.

some guy almost ran me over called me a ****ing ****er, going well to fast.. 2 miles down the road he died hitting a tree.

I once had "118 Got your number!" shouted at me.

Which was stange as I don't have a moustache

some guy almost ran me over called me a * *, going well to fast.. 2 miles down the road he died hitting a tree.

That'll learn him..

Someone shouted "Sorry I nearly knocked you off last week" at me once, that was good.

From the stupid bint who walloped me with her wing mirror as she went past :
"Oh I'm so sorry, I'm late for the hairdressers"
That's alright then....

"oi mister! Yer back wheel is going round!"

'I'm gonna nick your bike!'

'f'ing moron!' and the like.

It's the ones that don't shout abuse that worry me. The ones that silently, are out to kill you....

Ride to work most days on a busy A road, regularly get shouted at, **!! off, wan*!er etc. Fortunately I have a solution not open to most people. I take the registration, get to work, put my uniform on, get in my car with little blue lights on and turn up at their address. The conversation usually follows the same pattern.

"I presume you wanted to speak to me?"

Confused look

Identify myself

"Oh shit"

Road safety education lecture

£80 Ticket

Hopefully that will make some of you feel there is some justice.

+1 like like like compass81

Compass, you rock!!

^^ Amazing 😀

Can you get a transfer near to me please?

Good work Compass!

Stuff of dreams!

compass

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"I can see your bum!"

To be fair, if I wear jeans rather than proper biking shorts, this is normally a statement of fact. 🙁

Tandeming along the towpath we passed a couple, who looked to be about 70, in an open canoe and of course he shouts "She's not pedalling at the back". Just too late did the ripost "She's not paddling at the back" occur to me.

Compass lmao!

Wish i had your job some days and not just for the reasons above.

I rarely get anything interesting from a motorist. I do fine a response of

Would you mind repeating all that i am rather deaf.

Especially if its a long tirade and in my case its not entirely untrue.

1 stupid chav that basically hit my arse going past not seeing the red light 200M infront of him, I'm 6'4 19st and a black belt at judo, for some reason he didn't want to try and repeat it when i pulled up next to him at the lights, I'n fairness his 3 friends ripped the piss out of him in the car for almost shitting him self when i banged on his window, suppose it was better than me ripping his head off......

best was a couple of 'naughty school girls' asking me and a m8 for a seatie into town as they were late for a hen night.

Is it strange that I have never had anything shouted at me?

Feel like I'm missing out.

Somewhere on you tube there is film (taken by his pal in the back seat) of a young guy hanging out the open door intending to "contact" a cyclist. How we all laugh as his head strikes a parked car.

Someone once came up to me to say they could see my arse through my lycra shorts. 😯 They could, i wear baggies now.

"Hahahahahaha Pedal! PEDAL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA"

this has happened a few times

EDIT. Also got hit my a milkshake. I can't be the only one?