Biscuits that disappoint

Ohh, I LOVE Oreos! Om nom nom nom nom!

mini gravel pizzas.
utter f*king genius.

Cool your jets there Poddy. This is about biscuit based despair. There is no room here for biscuits of desire, if there was I would have mentioned the mighty Crawford Cheddar.

Malted biscuits, came in two varieties, with a cow, and stick men doing sports. rubbish designs, rubbish biscuits, and Rich Tea is just a crap biscuit all round really, and perhaps controversially, plain Hob Nobs, almost inedible.

I haven't been able to stomach pink wafers since (about 20 years ago) a lorry carrying shedloads of them overturned near my school, spilling it's contents on the road. We descended like vultures and had away with boxes of the things, they don't look quite as pink once they come back up :p

Oh, just remembered, Plain Club. No interesting filling, no mint, no orange, nada. What sort of WTF moment was that when they couldn't be bothered to come up with a filling and just went "nah, **** 'em, they'll just have to live with it"…Bastards

Malted biscuits, came in two varieties, with a cow, and stick men doing sports. rubbish designs, rubbish biscuits

Jeez yes – I remember them. Seeing a picture of a stick man playing water polo as I eat it certainly improves my biscuitary experience.

pink wafers were only any use as a torture implement. Get friend to lie on floor and grip wafer tightly between teeth. Force wafer into mouth thus causing it to disintegrate into a squillion pieces. Try to find friend under pile of strange pink crumbs. Repeat.

Any of the biscuits my wife buys that come in a packet with "Bio", "0%" or "Fibre" on the pack.

Not really disappointing I suppose as it's pretty bloody obvious beforehand that they're going to taste of sawdust, but still…

LOL, Gold Star for mastiles_fanylion:

Revolutionary biscuits of Italy
Rise up out of your box!
You have nothing to lose but your wafers
Yum yum yum yum yum!'

Wasn't that Alexei 'Bolovski' Sayle?

Bourbon biscuits are hardly revolutionary, named after the royal family of Spain and France…

Huntley and Palmer lemon puffs are yukky.
Also not keen on the ginger nuts unless they're dunked in a hot drink.

We don't buy biscuits on our house ( as in tubes ) 'cos we'd be fat.

Boasters. I had very fond memories and was massively disappointed when I serached some out recently.

Good call bunnyhop, lemon puffs are spew

Pretty much anything by "Foxes"………rubbish.

Bourbons are to be eaten as follows………take the top off, melt inner in front of fire…..lick off……….eat bottom 😛

She said

eat bottom

! 😯

The Golf Biscuit.
Bitter, chalky, minty disappointment.

Not a patch on the Trio or indeed the mighty Breakaway.

Brief hijack.

Pete do you drive a green hatchback? If so you were behind me in traffic the other day. Small World and that eh?

After that trilling interlude we can return to the biscuits.

I do indeed matey.
The mighty Daewoo Nexia, as detailed in the recent 'Isn't my car spiffing?' thread.

Give us a shout if you need a hand with any HTN stuff. Sue says she'll marshall and says 'Hi'. 🙂

You're on.

Yo-Yo biscuits, especially at room temperature – bobbins.

'United' biscuits, remember them?
Called United, but came in a blue and white striped wrapper.
Have the courage of your convictions, put it in a red wrapper!

OR make a separate version called 'City', which tastes bitter, costs a fortune and falls apart quickly.

The United version would last for an additional six minutes BTW.

In Sheffield, the blue and white one would be called the Wednesday, and taste of pork. 😀

most biscuits without a cup of tea to dunk with are generally disappointing, hob nobs especially!

BN Biscuits. Taste like crap.

caramel digestives, penguins, boasters. look like they should be tasty..but they're not all that great

biscuits that are just plain rubbish:
jaffa cakes
wagon wheels
normal digestives

one thing to say about Oreos……………………….black poo ! 😀

Cold caramel digestives are particularly horrible. The caramel layer goes really tough and makes you think that a bit of the wrapper has somehow been incorporated into the the biscuit via a manufacturing error.

Has anyone mentioned these yet?

What is it with the resurgence of TUC biscuits? (interesting idea, to name a biscuit after a labour organisation). They are dishing them out on KLM as a "snack". They ain't no snack, they're horrid.

KLM, now there's a whole new thread – Airlines that disappoint.

14 hours to Tokyo with the feckers. Broken seat back, no leg room, all the TVs had green pictures, miserable horsey faced cabin crew and rubbish biscuits.

Opened lunch box to find out what biscuit the missus had put in, turns out it was a fudging nutrigrain, A FUDGING NUTRIGRAIN!!!!

Let's face it, there's been a huge oversight here…

There is no feeling of bigger disappointment on earth when someone offers you a biscuit and removing the lid of the biscuit tine reveals:

I mean offering someone a slightly soft, stale shortie is basically just asking them to leave…

And I might add, they are always stale and soft because nobody actually likes a shortie, they've always been in the biscuit tin since you got fed up with the that plumber eating all your Fox crunch creams so you replaced them with Shorties till the work was done and they've gone untouched since.

Supermarket copies of proper biscuits are always a disappointment in themselves. To copy a disappointing biscuit takes things to a new level.

DrJ, but what if the original is no longer available?

Not seen Breakaways for years, but one of the Supermarkets (Asda?) do an acceptable copy that will usually do in an emergency.

i had a "united" biscuit once that due to a manufacturing fault contained no biscuit – just chocolate and the sugary chunks

it felt like a victory – these things matter when you are 8

any biscuit containing coconut is the worst for me

Nice have some in, as to "Rocky" bars

blurgggg

I remember the day I got a solid chocolate kit kat, again, felt like victory at the time but frankly, no one made me buy a kit kat instead of a yorkie at the time.

Oreos, putrid.
Those lemon puffs, bile.
And little gems, they're the proper little ****s of the buscuit world.

The Jekyl & hyde of the buscuit tin I must say is the Ginger nut. Tooth breakingly horrid when fresh. However, scrummy when soft and stale.

i regularly get to scoff party rings and iced gems at kids partys. Nothing wrong with them, but the chocolate finger is the king of the party biscuits IMO

Iced Gems are the short-arsed skin heads of the biscuit world. Tiny, unpleasant and liable to break your teeth if you are not careful.

oreo's- why do americans rave about them-gross
the plain digestive must be top of the cr@p list.just so dull and to big to dunk in astandard mug-gross again
tesco basic,cheap and nasty cookies.there full of choclate dust not chips 😥
caramel digestives come second.just ruin the choccy bit with basically glue!
any chocolate buiscuit should be cool.approx 4 celsius max.

biccies that rock..
rocky's
jaffas
choccy hob nobs (s'pese with a cuppa)
kitkat(4 finger)
tunnocks caramel (strangly a caramel that "works" in my book :wink:)

OK

1) iced gems are awesome

2) lemon puffs are grim

3) those pink wafer things look…you know…a bit…limp wristed in the biscuit tin AND coat everything else in annoying pink dust. crap things

4) wagon wheels and penguin bars shouldn't be in individual wrappers, cos they're not awesome enough

5) viscounts have become way too small to still be classed as classy biscuits

I could go on for hours…