Biscuits that disappoint

Due to an input error at the vending machine I am now the proud owner of a Cadbury’s Time Out. Disappointed.
It could have been worse. It could have been a microscopic Fruit and Nut.

Name your biscuits of disappointment.

With the exception of Rich Tea, anything that doesn't have chocolate I can lick off is always a slight disappointment

Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing. The original version is still the best biscuit in the universe.

Didn't make me feel like dancing or increased empathy with those around me.

Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing.

Incorrect – you just need to chill them in the fridge before consumption for best effect.

In fact, anything with chocolate on/in/made entirely of requires chilling.

Anyway – a Chunky Kit Kat isn't really a biscuit is it?

Rice Krispies Squares are just an overpackaged version of the familiar children's party standby.

I'm always disappointed at my ability to eat huge quantities of Jaffa Cakes, notwithstanding how nasty they are.

Anyway – a Chunky Kit Kat isn't really a biscuit is it?

Yes it is, but that a debate for another day.

I agree with you regarding the temperature. Cold is best. I'm not sure about the peanut and caramel variants. It is the pushbike equivalent of 160mm forks on 2004 Inbred.

If bikes were biscuits…

Inbred = Standard issue Kit Kat or a Tunnock's wafer.

Bourbons, I really don't rate them.

Timeouts are great.
But that wasn't the question – disappointing biscuits…..

Most of the ones in Family Circle boxes
NICE biscuits – bleurgh
Rich Tea
Bourbons
Custard Creams

Not necessarily in that order.

I had a jammie dodger the other day after not having one for years. I was rather underwhelmed by it.

Why are so many biscuits names after Revolutionaries?

Ahh but Bourbons and Custard Creams still win in the bangs for your buck stakes…

jaffa cakes. too small.

Why are so many biscuits names after Revolutionaries?
I can only think of 3…Bourbon, Garibaldi, Peek Freans Trotsky Assortment?

Kit Kat Chunkys are very disappointing. Your soooo wrong, the caramel version at the moment is fantastic, though as mentioned is it really a biscuit?

Off-hand the only one I'm really currently enjoying are Oreo's, everything else Sainsbury's stocks seem to be sad pale imitations of what I remember to be great biscuits, even the "taste the difference" range are crap.

What I really want is a decent, not cheap and nasty, custard cream.
It's not alot to ask for, is it?
.
.
Your faithfully the cookie monster….

jammy dodgers -not jammy, just a thin layer of tough red stuff
bourbons – look promising, but don't taste of chocolate
custard creams – neither custard or creamy
rich tea – how poor are you if that's what you think "rich" means?
nice – aren't very

all a bit of a let down

I forgot Jammie Dodgers. The 'jam' just sticks in your teeth & isn't at all like jam.

Her Indoors bought some cheap Tesco cookies the other day – apparently they were something like 65p and come in a Boasters style plastic wrapper thing. Mmmmmm, they were reet lovely.

Bang for your buck – Bourbon & custard cream. I'd rather go without, than bother with either 'biscuit' 😉

In my Student days you could get a 3 pack of Maryland Cookies for about £1.20 – now that was bang for your buck!

Chocolate Caramel Digestives absolutely rock, but contain more calories/biscuit than I care to consider while eating the damn things!!

I should really get involved with this thread…but I won't. 🙂

Almost all the ones in a biscuits for cheese box … other than the ones that are like a digestive that they dont sell in anything other than a cheese box 🙁

wagon wheels – no way as good as I remembered!

I can only think of 3…Bourbon, Garibaldi, Peek Freans Trotsky Assortment?

Winner 🙂

Revolutionary biscuits of Italy
Rise up out of your box!
You have nothing to lose but your wafers
Yum yum yum yum yum!'

Floaty air biscuits.

Ritz, ok it's a cracker rather than a biscuit, but tragically disappointing when you get ones without much salt on em.

I couldn't help myself….

Jammy Dodgers are pants. Those Pink Wafers are pretty naff too. Never really cared for plain biscuits such as rich tea, digestives and the like.

Generally though biscuits are brilliant.

Nice Biscuits have to be the worst disappointment. If you're actually goign to call a bsicuit "nice" then it really ought to be nice rather than decidedly average.

Itd be like calling your product Awesome Biscuits and them just being a chocolate digestive with "awesome" written on.

Anyone tried Party Rings recently?

I suspect the lack of artificial colours would make them half the biscuit they were.

Malted Milk and Chocolate Hob-Nobs, those two are the kings of the biscuit world. Fox's crunch cream run them close and a chocolate malted milk is a rare treat if you ever manage to find them.

Was just going to mention party rings. The other ones that are disappointing are those marshmallow/coconutty things that look like the underside of a lactating sow.

Nice Biscuits have to be the worst disappointment. If you're actually goign to call a bsicuit "nice" then it really ought to be nice rather than decidedly average.

But it's Nice as in the place in France, not as in whether they're any cop or not. Bourbon biscuits don't contain any alcohol…(hang on…what an idea! Biscuits & booze. All major food groups covered in one bite-size item)

Nice biscuits are still called Nice as they can't emboss the words "Decidedly Average" on them because:-

a) It would require a reduction in font size that would be lost under the dusting of sugar

or

b) They would be nearly a foot long.

I saw an advert for 'bite-size' biscuits last week.

I thought to myself – aren't all biscuits bite-sized and wouldn't it be spectacularly stupid to have a range of biscuits specifically created to be larger than the average mouth and therefore impossible to eat.

Its a bit like 'fun-size' chocolate bars. WTF is fun about eating LESS chocolate?

There are some wronguns on this thread.

KitKat chunkys are great (but must be cold)
Jammie Dodgers are gurt lush (the jam's supposed to stick to your teeth!)

and Jaffa Cakes (obviously not actually a biscuit…) are clearly number 1 – chocolate, orange and cake all in one easy to devour pack of 12 (or 15) – and make no mistake, anyone who ever only eats part of a pack is just WRONG

AndyP you have just sparked a memory, my mum used to do a dessert with ginger snaps soaked in brandy, then mad a sandwich with cream & chocolate, I feel sick remembering trying to fit fourths in … 🙂

This thread has the makings of a classic It would require a reduction in font size that would be lost under the dusting of sugar. Inspired.

And Jaffa cakes – aren't they less calories each than water and celery. Or soemthing like that.

Iced Gems

Another rubbish biscuit of yesteryear. Like mini gravel pizzas.

& I had a mate at school who could turn a rich tea over whole in his mouth … that takes some doing I can tell you.

Anyway .. Dark Choc Diggies are best … Nice ones are just rubbish

Its a bit like 'fun-size' chocolate bars. WTF is fun about eating LESS chocolate?

LOL! Very true.

I'm finding it hard to be disappointed by any biscuit, but ginger nuts are a bit boring. Too hard. I don't like my nuts too hard, or ginger.

http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

From the genius website http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

Q. Why are 'Nice' biscuits called that?

A. I don't know because they are possibly one of the nastiest biscuits ever, perhaps its sarcasm. Also if you are new to this site and are about to email me saying "Actually its because they are named after the town in the south of France" don't. They're not from there, nobody there has ever heard of them. Hop on an Easyjet flight get yourself down there and ask around, you'll get even blanker Gallic looks than usual. Back when they were invented Huntley and Palmer were knocking out over 450 sorts of biscuits, so naming new sorts of biscuits was probably a matter of just going through the phone book or index in the atlas. Anyhow I don't like them.

Hmmm there are only 2 real disappointments I've ever had with biscuits –

1) Stale biscuits – as I tell my family if they're left in the barrel for more than a couple of days they go off. Nothing is worse than a stale biscuit.

2) The 'biscuit' I climbed up on the windowsill to eat as a 3year old. At 3 I knew all brown round things were biscuits and I loved biscuits. There was a brown round thing on the windowsill.
I climbed up there to eat it.
I discovered not all brown round things were biscuits… they could be a dead cactus 🙁

All chocolate bisuits are disappointing after one has experienced the tombstone-like proportions of a Bahlsen Choco-Leibniz.

My kids have seemingly garnered a liking for Oreos from their peer group – now they are proper nasty.