• This topic has 45 replies, 42 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by hora.
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  • Best job title ever?
  • piemann
    Free Member

    Just found out in a meeting that we have an “execution manager” as part of our client team.
    To me, it conjures up images of an Alan Sugar type but when he says “you’re fired”, you suddenly drop into a tank of hungry sharks with frikkin lazers on their heads.

    I’m bored – is it obvious?

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Does the uniform include a black hat?

    watsontony
    Free Member

    sandwich artist

    subway 😆

    molgrips
    Free Member

    It’s this guy, isn’t it? Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lN4TSslz-0[/video]

    zippykona
    Full Member

    There’s a recruitment centre near us and they had a vacancy which didn’t quite fit on the board.
    They needed an anal
    yst!

    johndoh
    Free Member

    The guy who appeared on Blind Date that time…

    ‘Vision Technician’

    He was a window cleaner.

    z1ppy
    Full Member

    “Back Belts” are the latest on the job board, some kinda of production engineer/team leader IIRC, but sounds great…

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Friend of a friend’s job title is “End of Level Boss.”

    johndoh
    Free Member

    When I was a kid, a local farm often advertised for a Pig Sexer

    To this day I am not sure what the job entailed.

    geoffj
    Full Member

    “Back Belts” are the latest on the job board, some kinda of production engineer/team leader IIRC, but sounds great…

    That’s a Six Sigma thing IIRC

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    Cougar, is he Dr Robotnik?

    drain
    Full Member

    My wife had a job at the Science Museum – “Casual Explainer”. I so wanted that job… 😀

    muggomagic
    Full Member

    I was looking on our job board and noticed a role titled “period controller”.

    Northwind
    Full Member

    We had a Redundancy Champion. He nobly took up sword and shield to defend us all from having jobs, for god and king harry!

    billyblackheart
    Free Member

    Artisan Breadmaker.

    Is there any other type of bread maker or does the artisan in the title just mean he wears tighter jeans, wears superfluous glasses and grew the beard?

    I make about three loaves a week how do I know if I’m just baking bread or baking Artisan bread?

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Erection Supervisor.

    bensales
    Free Member

    My current client’s boss has the title ‘Vice President of Agro’.

    Argumentative chap.

    andyrm
    Free Member

    Nasty geezer but amazing job title – anyone claiming sovereignty over every living thing on the planet and in the sea has clearly got a bit of Napoleon Complex to say the least:

    Idi Amin “His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular.”

    weare138
    Free Member

    There was a lady at the Borough Council in my town who was a Smoking Reduction Co-ordinator…?

    hammyuk
    Free Member

    Specialist access technician….

    Kato
    Full Member

    We have a chap where I work who’s title is “Dedicated Decision Maker”

    Bregante
    Full Member

    We’ve just advertised for staff to apply for secondment to a “thinking team”

    stavromuller
    Free Member

    Got asked my occupation by a financial adviser, to which I answered “duct erector”. When the written report came, I was discribed as a “duck director”. Don’t know which sounds worse.

    andrewh
    Free Member

    Dr Anne L Kinney works in the space bit of the science museum.
    Director of the Universe 😯

    Ambrose
    Full Member

    A friend was ‘promoted’ to Assistant Head of Learning. All his computerised records logged him as AssHol. He wasn’t amused.

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    Funny, I got an email from someone today who was clearly trying to up their position, by referring to themselves as a Performance Improvement Executive.

    Pie basically.

    thomthumb
    Free Member

    my mate was a hamster farmer as a summer job!

    Ambrose
    Full Member

    @thomthumb- I thought you were joking until I youtubed it. Over 1000 vids available!

    sparkyspice
    Free Member

    Fluffer…
    I’ve never met one, but it’s on my “To Do” list…

    wattsymtb
    Free Member

    “Black Belts” are the latest on the job board, some kinda of production engineer/team leader IIRC, but sounds great…

    That’s a Six Sigma thing IIRC

    Do not apply for this job. I can garuntee you it will be soul desroying.

    It will entail teaching completely disinterested people how to develop a ‘continuous improvement’ attitude towards working.

    I work with an american guy whose name and title are:

    Joe McQueen- F22 P.M.P

    (It is for the F22 fighter plane fleet)

    coolhandluke
    Free Member

    I knew a lad who was a “Wind Manager”

    he worked for a power generation company on the wind turbine installation side of things, great title.

    rossi46
    Free Member

    chrssmale
    Free Member

    I worked as a ‘Fudge Packer’ once in Sunny Devon 🙂

    stevestunts
    Free Member

    A couple I’ve had as summer jobs during university:

    ‘Replenishment Technician’ at the local supermarket;

    ‘Fire Watchman’ – this was the legit job title, and my role was to keep an eye on the welders who were building a new vessel in a potentially explodey part of a pharmaceutical plant. If anything caught fire, I had to run and hit the nearest fire alarm. The only time something did catch fire, the welder just put it out with his glove. I learned a lot about the life of a contractor during that job, and earned a huge amount of money for quite literally sitting on my arse 🙂

    CountZero
    Full Member

    I want the Fire Watchman job! Suits me down to the ground, that does. 😀

    D0NK
    Full Member

    End of Level Boss.

    we have a winner.

    rossi that looks highly dubious.

    njee20
    Free Member

    I came across a job for a “Domestic Violence Co-ordinator”, which amused me… ‘right – John: you beat your woman tomorrow, Phil: you’ve got Wednesday.’

    My mum did some work for Trebor Bassett, who had a “Manager of Continuous Liquorice”

    BoardinBob
    Full Member

    2nd assistant to the deputy sub-janitor

    richardk
    Free Member

    I am a Segment Manager – sadly not for Terry’s, Del Monte etc

    purpleyeti
    Free Member

    still like mine which is either “pen tester” or Penetration tester. have a friend who is director of caos.

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