Can I ask everyones advice on downs screening? and if they did it or not?

would you terminate if the foetus is positive for downs? if not then no point in taking the risk of screening.

TJ its called personal choice. A close friend of mine would never test or consider terminating, whereas I would have considered termination.

Don’t go all Christian-American.

Do not EVER, have the baby in your bed this is the biggest copout in the world and you will pay for it for years to come.
We were told –
“Don’t rock your baby to sleep!” er, we did. Funnily enough he doesn’t still need rocking.

Best piece of advice I can give is “don’t worry”!
All the weird little (and big) problems they have are just phases.
Soon that problem will be over and there’ll be a new one to focus on.

5 – Do not EVER, have the baby in your bed this is the biggest copout in the world and you will pay for it for years to come.

Mleh.

We did loads of co-sleeping at 0-6 months. Now (19 months) she gets a bedtime story or two read to her on our bed and we bring her through to our bed in the morning when we don’t really want to get up straight away.

She is perfectly happy in her own bed. Goes down as soon as you lay her in it and sleeps 8 till 6:30 every night.

10 – Get a simply baby monitor, non of the fancy camera ones or even worse the one with a presusre pad, it will drive you up the wall, again marketing b*llox!!

Mleh also.

We had (inherited) sound-only monitors and they drove the wife to distraction. She had us sitting in silence most nights with subtitles on the telly, scared to fart “in case we wake the baby”, and straining to hear if that was just a little cough or the last frantic gasp for air of a choking infant.

We eventually got video monitors (one of the only things we bought new) and life changed for the better overnight. MrsGrahamS could see what was happening, completely relaxed and stopped disturbing the baby by going up to check on her.

They also really helped when it came to controlled crying etc cos we could see when she was proper upset versus just trying it on. And meant we were happier to leave her in the room when we were on holiday.

TJ its called personal choice. A close friend of mine would never test or consider terminating, whereas I would have considered termination.

TJ is spot on. You need to ask yourself what you would do with a positive result BEFORE you do the screening.

The screening itself has its own risks associated with it and I believe it is not 100% accurate either way. If you definitely wouldn’t terminate then screening is a pointless risk.

I cried at both of my daughters births, no, make that blubbered, amazing experience.
Still ride quite a bit, just more focused on how i train, use heart rate monitor more and ride early morning/late eve, or on odd “day passes”
Girls are 5 and 3, i still walk through the door after work to the best hugs ever.

1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?

Went from immense worry through the birth to utter elation and joy as held her for the first time. Then back to worry. I tend to. It’s ace, and we coped by just taking it moment by moment. And sleeping whenever we could. And <controversial> following Gina Ford, whose routine provided a structure which has worked fantastically for us.

Biking? Leisure activities settled into a new routine after about 4 months. Prior to that outing were negotiated on a case by case basis. Since then, my wife has gotten back to rowing 3 or 4 times a week and I have pretty much 5 hours free on each of Saturday and Sunday when I choose.

2) Did the NCT classes help?

Well, having done the NCT classes helped us feel prepared up until the birth actually happened. That has to be worth something. As for actually preparing us for the birth Did we follow the birth plan? Not so much. Did I remember anything to ask the various surgeons / midwives as everything went to pot? uh, no. And it all worked out just fine anyhow, thankfully.

The key benefit of NCTing was that it gave us an instant in with a group of people going through pretty much the same as us. None of the others in the group were / are much like us but having said that, two and a half years later we all still meet up every Monday.

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

IMO you’re on it. I’m sure others have said the same, but don’t have time to check as am trying to sort house before Jr wakes!

Best purchases? Our Mountain Buggy pram, Tripp Trapp highchair and this mobile.

i’m not a dad but i have seen both ‘cheaper by the dozen’ and ‘father of the bride’ staring Steve Martin so i’m overqualified to comment on this thread…

i think you’ll be a good dad 🙂

HTH x

“We have our 12 week scan next week and need to decide whether to have it (the screening) or not, thing is as mrs organic is 38/39 then the 1st test is bound to come back high risk I think as age is a factor in the probability equation? As the second test (amniocentisis) has a risk of miscarriage I doubt we would do it anyway even if we were high risk. So we are wondering whether to bother at all?”

One of my mates wife is due to drop there 2nd baby any day now and shes 44. They got the downs test + paid for more stuff privately. The downs test came back high, she couldnt then decide whether to have the secondary test (sorry dont know the name) which is dangerous, she evetually went for the test, and again it showed a high chance of downs. They have then since paid for I think other expensive scans (which can not be conclusive) The whole process has been very stressful for them both, not great when your pregnant anyhow. They never once discussed the termination bit, which made me and Mrs FD think, why have the test in the first place?!?

So if you do have it make sure you decide before hand what you will do based on the results, bearing in mind the results are only an inidcation and not a certain yes or no.

To be honest I would speak to a Health Professional about it.

Can I ask everyones advice on downs screening? and if they did it or not?

We have our 12 week scan next week and need to decide whether to have it (the screening) or not, thing is as mrs organic is 38/39 then the 1st test is bound to come back high risk I think as age is a factor in the probability equation? As the second test (amniocentisis) has a risk of miscarriage I doubt we would do it anyway even if we were high risk. So we are wondering whether to bother at all?We did it as my wife was around the same age as yours. Results came back fine, same risk as a 21 year old, apparently. I guess that puts us at the tail of a distribution somewhere, but no point worrying until you have the test and no point taking the test unless termination is an option you’d be willing to consider, IMO.

Best purchases? Tripp Trapp highchair

We were keen on those till we saw this:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB7V7HDYAtQ[/video]

The whole process has been very stressful for them both

Especially knowing that if the tests aren’t 100% what if you abort a child that didn’t have Downs after all?

One of my cousins has Downs. My Aunt is 70 and will be looking after her daughter until she dies.

Best purchases? Tripp Trapp highchair
We were keen on those till we saw this:

onto the back of the skull/the most delicate part as well 😯

Heres our fella at 14months and Bingo 🙁

We were keen on those till we saw this:

We saw that before we bought as well. The chairs now come with an extended bottom foot (is that what you call the piece parallel to the floor?). Do your own research, of course (and that video may well count as enough research, for sure) but after trying them in store we felt confident enough to buy and have had (touch wood) no problems at all.

Best purchases?

All the second hand stuff!

Mleh.

We did loads of co-sleeping at 0-6 months. Now (19 months) she gets a bedtime story or two read to her on our bed and we bring her through to our bed in the morning when we don’t really want to get up straight away.

She is perfectly happy in her own bed. Goes down as soon as you lay her in it and sleeps 8 till 6:30 every night.

maybe i wasnt clear enough, what you say was as we did… what i meant was friends of ours had theirs in the bed from birth up to 2 years old!! (ALL NIGHT/EVERYNIGHT), now he’s 7 it still causes them serious grief as he wont stay in his own bed.

+1 what DezB says.
Netmums, carboots etc etc
christ we’ve got thousands of pounds worth of stuff that cost peanuts. Our house looks like an uber posh nursery and the sprogs are fitted out with Jasper Conran, Next…etc The best bit is not giving two hoots if they break or wreck anything.

Second no issues with the tripp trapp and not-so-mini-clubber never sits still so if it was going to topple over, I reckon it would have done. It does have the extra long legs though

Top tips: second hand stuff on mumsnet is way, way cheaper than ebay.

And a lot of kit you’d pay top whack elsewhere is a lot cheaper at home bargains

The chairs now come with an extended bottom foot

Yeah saw that, but our “brand faith” was already shaken – plus we were looking to buy second hand (as they are chuffing expensive for a couple of bits of wood) so we wouldn’t have had the extended foot.

maybe i wasnt clear enough, what you say was as we did… what i meant was friends of ours had theirs in the bed from birth up to 2 years old!! (ALL NIGHT/EVERYNIGHT)

Ahhh right.. yeah that’s asking for trouble!

My Mum bought us a Mamas and Papas thing. I’m not a fan of M&P however this thing is amazing.

As Funky’s friends experience ilustrates this screening stuff is not so black and white with all the emotions – some parents who may be high risk just want to know the risk even if they won’t terminate.

Babygrows which don’t button up the front are the work of Satan. Dressing a newborn is like Jiu Jitsu combat in miniature, especially at three in the morning. Don’t make it any harder for yourself.

Dressing a newborn is like Jiu Jitsu combat in miniature

I’ve found it like bloody wrestling! You have a 5 second countdown. If its not on within that time- let the wrestling begin!

hora – Member
My Mum bought us a Mamas and Papas thing. I’m not a fan of M&P however this thing is amazing.

At the risk of agreeing with Hora, we borrowed the same model from friends and it was very good.

For me, it’s been all about balance. My daughter just turned two and she is a riot.

Sure, things do change when a wee one comes along but in a good way. I love spending time with her but I also still make sure that I get out on the bike regularly too. It all comes down to being a bit more organised.

For me, a Chariot Trailer and Kiddy seat have made a huge difference for going to nursery, getting out and about etc. It’s riding time but with the wee one so a win win for me. As she has gotten older, she’s become much more interactive and bike journeys have become a lot more fun based with plenty of stops and chitter chatter. At Easter, we would go for spins around Rothiemurchus and built in fun stops such as having a picnic by the river etc. The riding becomes as much about the things you see and do as the ride itself. In the mornings, I was getting up super early and knocking out some classic trails such as the Lairig Ghru before breakfast which gave me the bonus of family time later in the day.

I still get out on the bike a lot but am careful to strike a healthy balance with my wife as she rides too. This year, she headed off to Portugal with a pal while I had a trip to Verbier and Chamonix for 10 days. Learn to come and go with your partner and it will pay back dividends.

As for classes, I found them useful especially the bit about pain relief.

I guess the most important thing I have learned is to get the little un into a good routine. That made a huge difference for us and we also took turns to tag team at night in the first few weeks for night time feeds. By doing one night on, one night off, we managed to ward off some of the general “tired all the time” feeling.

As for Strathpuffer, that might be pushing things timewise but then I did spend a week in verbier when my missus was over 8 months pregnant so perhaps I’m not the best one to take advice from! Ha! Ha!

however this thing is amazing.

it’s just a high chair, what could possibly be so amazing about it?

Its very sturdy, well built and many configurations.

Same goes for the BabyJogger. Not the most attractive push chair but buggy light (and packs down smaller than a buggy atthe flick of your wrist.

Plus you can use it from birth upto toddler.

We’ve got the same chair. Papa Primo Evo.

It is very good and has lasted for 2 kids / 4 years. Way better than anything else we’ve sat them in. The kids like it too as they have never tried to escape from it.

ok, not amazing in the slightest then. 🙄

It glows and Angels sing. What more do you want!

But it is better than anything else we’ve used.

just somewhere to feed them/feed themselves really

how many have you used harry?

Good gawd alive yet another thread descended into a pointless argument.

This time about high chairs.

And neither me or TJ are involved either.

how many have you used harry?

704 at the last count.

FFS aren’t I allowed to say that a product is better than anything else we’ve tried (grandparents, other relatives, hotels, holiday accommodation, pubs etc…)?

Whatever. Life is too short.

back to the question
1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?
genuinely the scariest two days of my life followed by utter relief and exhaustion . The bike has hung on the wall for the 14 weeks since crankbrat entered the world.

2) Did the NCT classes help?

yes we made nice middle class friends and got some good background info but they earned their nickname “the house of lies”

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

I’ve not posted on here about crankbrat before but have read and been comforted by many other threads and honestly can’t think of a better forum it’s the people on it not the umbrella topic that counts .

On Downs screening we had a long hard think decided that come what may we would not terminate and so decided not to bother.

Crankbrat’s entry in to the world was hard but he was and remains perfect.

would you terminate if the foetus is positive for downs? if not then no point in taking the risk of screening

This. We found the prospect of screening quite upsetting actually. Then we realised that a) you only get a percentage risk, not a yes/ no, and b) we weren’t prepared to terminate in any case, so there was no point doing it.

Very few people are absolutely pro-choice or pro-life in all circumstances. We’re both pro-choice by inclination, so I guess we found where our line was.

Muke, your synopsis was bang on the money! I was crying tears of pent-up misery on reading your post.

You did forget one important aspect, well loads actually…..may I?

Appendices A

[1] Send a collective email to all your friends that you do not require anything at all from them ever again and they should cease their visits, phone calls, text’s. That you weekend and mid-week rides are over for the next 6 to 7 years – rare outings, typically on a ratio of twice per 3years may present if you have completed the entire list of DIY tasks. Pseudo –patronising contacts, usually from exotic locations, can be expected to arrive on your facebook wall, best delete this account.

[2] Visit every park, paddling pool, café with sand pit that your DISTRICT has to offer – for 5 years. After each visit, throw away the pants you have hidden in the side pouch of your now redundant MTB ruck-sac before they hatch!

I could continue, but I can feel the urge to reach for my Stanley knife re-emerging