Baby 2 year sleep regression

Oh my god what the hell is this!!

So he’s not even 2 yet however has gone from giving us a full night, to last week the worst was me up with him from 10pm-4am. 6 hours!!!

I spoke to work and said I wasn’t coming in til the afternoon…. However we then had another one two days later, up at 2 til 5.
Then yesterday ruined us, up at 4, asleep at 6, up at 8 to start the day….

Also all times are me doing it as she works in NHS doing 13hr shifts and tbh I’ve got a lot more patience…and work predominantly from home.

Tonight it’s been 2-4:30 and he’s just nodded off on me so it’s up to his bed as we have to come downstairs each time….

How do others deal with this other than coffee? I mean we’re going to need to start going to bed much earlier than 11 as both have jobs that need alot of focus…. Do you just get used to it? Doesn’t help it’s summer so it starts getting light at 3am!

I will add though which may help others, I stumbled upon “Unwind with ITV” and on a few occasions now, when he is ready for sleep seems to be a great way to get him to nod off. Rhythmic patterns or repeat scenes that do seem to help

Sorry to hear that mate. It’s pretty rough, eh?

Kids, especially little ones, go through phases and sometimes the regressions are really painful. All you can do is try to instil good habits.

We had two that just wouldn’t sleep alone, so from day 1 they pretty much slept with us. Still lots of waking up but it was definitely easier for all concerned (I used to get an extra hour sleep on the train on the way to (and sometimes back from) work).

9-10pm has been my bedtime for at least a decade.

The 10-year-old has only just got his own bedroom and it’s taken 6 months for him to get used to going to sleep without his brother in the same room. He uses iPad rain sounds to help.

… I’m not sure what the current research says, but when ours were tiny it was recommended that they had minimal screen exposure and we did lots of bedtime reading. We managed to do that, and then gradually introduced screens. I do think it’s helped them become very good readers as a result though.

Likely just a phase where something has disturbed their normal patterns.  Keep the routine you established in the early days and it will restore in a few days or a couple of weeks.

EDIT – but obviously check for physical things before dismissing it as a phase.

When else do they sleep and for how long? Figure out the number of hours sleep they need and adjust the times you are letting them nod off. You might need to put a stop on daytime naps or keep them up later.

It can be really difficult to deal with. Hang in there. It does get easier. We’ve three to deal with  prisoner #1 was ok, #2 was bloody awful and #3 oscillates between the two, still at 6.

How’s the lighting / ventilation in their room? Darker/ cooler / fresher is generally better but you might need to have something like a gro clock to indicate to them when it’s ok to be up.

Screen downtime can be important. We have a rule that they get no screen at all in the hour leading up to bedtime. That includes tv.

be careful with making the house too quiet – that can be a rod for your own back as you end up creeping around in your time . White noise apps are very useful to mask creaks / central heating noises etc. in our case prisoner #2 could hear the kettle click off. Ffs.

We went through a phase of keeping a duvet in their room so we could kip on the floor next to them, rather than have them out of bed and “up”.

Might be worth a try.

We’ve taken the approach of sleeping next to them until their confidence/sleep routine improves.  Eldest (now 7) woke up every 20-30 minutes for the first 4 years, then suddenly snapped out of that about 3 months before he started school thankfully.  Our way of dealing with that was to set up a mattress and duvet up on the floor next to him so at least he stays in his own bed and we get something resembling rest.  He now sleeps great.

No2 (now 4) was a bit better to begin with but has gone downhill, albeit again a matress on the floor next to him just makes it easier for everyone.  He’s starting to do much better and I can see us out of there soon.

You’ve just got to figure out what works best for you and your family.  But brace yourself, it can take a while!

Our second was a mare. Didn’t sleep in her bed till well after 1 (only on people). The night wakings went in waves of intensity and we had to take turns sleeping on her bedroom floor. As she got older the waves became smaller and less frequent though at 8 we still get wake ups (bad dreams now). That mean she ends up in bed with ones of us. It’s just how she is but it’s been bloody hard. Our first was much easier and only really had the occasional regression (after the initial period where she struggled to sleep due to dairy intolerance).

Unfortunately you have to ride it out. Stick with the routine and if he needs you to be there you don’t really have much choice. Just try to get what rest you can, yes that’ll mean earlier bed time and a mattress/duvet on their floor like mctd. At one point I think I slept on the mattress next to her cot with my arm up and though the bars to give her physical contact. Not comfortable but better than being fully awake.

One of ours didn’t sleep for more than 2 hrs until he was three. You have all my sympathies and a virtual hug.

We ended up having to tag team. Mrs_oab did until 1am, I went to bed early. I did 1am until breakfast.

We also had for go back to basics on sleeping, light in his room, bedding, setting down etc.
He was totally controlling us, forcing himself to wake and get us to react. We ended up with a brutal week where we just put him back without any words or hugs, just back to his room. It worked, he then started sleeping much much better.
But at 22 he still doesn’t sleep well…

These are just phases that all kids go through at some point. My daughter is 11 now and sleeps well, but my son who is 8, has been going through a sleep thing for the past year or so, waking most nights and needing reassurance. Most nights there is a musical beds situation. Some nights are worse than others and this can last all night.

People that have kids that sleep through the night don’t know how easy they’ve got it!

Check ‘The Wonder Years’, great for explaining all this stuff. The app is free and very good.

Nothing to add other than been there, feel your pain. Or first had their 6 month regression when we were in a cottage in Northumberland on ‘holiday’. Very nearly came home.

At one point I think I slept on the mattress next to her cot with my arm up and though the bars to give her physical contact.

I have a strong memory of being in that position whilst conducting email discussions with colleagues on my phone with the other hand.

My lad is 22 months old today and has only slept ‘through’ 3 times since he was born… other than than the best we get is 2 wake-ups, worst (especially when ill or teething) has been every hour.  There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture method.  It’s horrendous.

What you’ve experienced sounds like what they now call a ‘split night’.  Maybe try getting him up earlier, going to bed later, or reducing daytime nap if he still has one.  That said, we went through a phase a couple of months ago where he just wanted to be awake at similar times and look outside in the garden!  Think he finds it regulating.  Either way, I suppose best bit of advice is to try and keep calm (harder said then done sleep deprived and tired), and just know that it will pass.  I try and frame it that it’s extra time I can spend with him when not at work – kinda works!!

Hope it gets better.

I’ve got three. First didn’t sleep through until he was three. Then slept like a baby. Second slept through from about 4 months and she’s been fine ever since (close mate of mine had his first two at pretty much the same time, his first slept like a baby, so he was full of well meaning, but increasingly unwelcome, advice about how they were doing it. When the situation reversed with our second kids, I took great pleasure in giving him lots of good advice whilst he fell asleep in the pub), third – and here’s the kicker – completely blindsided us. He started sleeping through after about 4 months, but at 2 years old started waking up 3-4 times a night. This went on 4 two years. We tried everything, but it was just how it was. However he would pretty much go straight back to sleep. My eldest would only drop back off being driven in the car, and would then wake up as soon as I went to put him back in his cot (aaaarrrgghh!)

So in short, 3 kids, three very different experiences. I can only repeat what has been said above, that they go through different stages and often there is very little that we parents can do about it. Remember that they are all different and that what works for one (even in the same family) won’t necessarily (read probably won’t) work for another.

It’s hard. Sleep deprivation as a parent is pretty much akin to torture. Good news is it won’t last forever! Good luck!

Really interesting to see so many others have gone through similar….

I can stay pretty calm and just let him do what he wants til he’s tired like I did this morning. We rely on some white noise which is a rainstorm without the thunder from Spotify , very impressive he really does nod off to it, so do I on quite a few occasions!!

We ended up sleep training our first (and only) at about 2.5 (it’s all a blur now).  Basically controlled lessening of contact as he was very manipulative like one of Matt’s. We paid for someone to help us which sounds like wimping out but when you are at your wits end needs must. Their main role was to avoid us fighting between ourselves over when to go in and when to leave him.

It’s brutal. Ours would only sleep beside the dishwasher when it was running so I ended up recording that and making my own playback on an old iPad…… At 10 he still has white noise of ocean, rain or similar…

We also hired a sleep consultant with #2 at about 9 months. It made things much, much worse. I’m sure some children do respond to the techniques but for our youngest they were absolutely the wrong thing. Fortunately both us and the consultant recognised this quite quickly though her only suggestion after that was do whatever the child needs.

Do whatever the child needs 😂 I bet you hated that advice.

Well here I am at 2am as he’s done it again tonight, just as we were going to sleep aroun 10:30 he wakes up…. Full of beans and end up playing downstairs til 1:30 then nods off

Worst is trying to get him upstairs while he’s awkwardly laid across my arms. All 13kg of him which some would argue isn’t alot

Might be making a rod for your own back, but have you tried driving? We didn’t often do that at night time, but it was the only way ours ever slept in the day. We used to go for country drives at the weekend and if they dropped off we’d park outside a cafe and have a coffee.

So sadly yes, before when nothing else worked I’d buckle him up on my own and take him out for a drive to get him to sleep… it does work, I just didn’t want to make it a habit as when it gets late like that it’s not good i’m out driving when tired myself!

Also then getting him out his seat and into bed and in his sleep bag while trying to keep him asleep is a real skill game!

We were in France a few weeks ago on the last night and he decided to have another night where he wouldn’t sleep… found myself driving aimlessly in an area I didn’t know until he got to sleep and I think it was 10:30pm when I finally got back…. We could then have some tea as it was a special one the family had planned for us. Sod’s Law!

Do whatever the child needs 😂 I bet you hated that advice.

Yeap, crushing at the time as we’d built up hope the consultant might help. The first winter I didn’t see a dark morning, or largely my wife. We had to tag team the nights with me taking her to she needed a feed in the early hours and then sleeping till 30 mine before leaving to get to work. Watched so much crap on the tablet as she slept on me.

Funny you say that, in the very early months of him being the tiniest…. When you naturally go to bed when they’re asleep which ends up being as late as 1am I just binge watched moonshiners on discovery+ 😂