You sir are the sufferer of inferiority complexes.

I’ve never denied it. 😀

You and Elfin seem to be advocates of the “Topman” model look (without the looks) – hey at least you’ll be trendy in some parts of the City:

Love it. You’re just too easy, Surf-Mat.

I have never claimed to have “the perfect BMI/heartrate/whatever” like you yet I can back my “work” up with pics. Something I have noticed you never do.

That’s because I don’t take pictures of myself to put up on tinternet. To show others how buff I am. Possibly.

That might be because I’m not particularly bothered what people on a forum mainly inhabited by men think of my physique. Seriously, I’m not that bothered.

Well, I am, actually. I cry myself to sleep at night because I don’t measure up to other men on an internet forum. It’s the root cause of all my problems, I tell you. 😥

You seem to be obsessed with having a perfect physique. Matter over mind.

What do your girlfriends/wives think about the Kate Moss look? Do you have one in fact?!

I don’t actually. I think this has more to do with my mental state than my physique, unfortunately. 🙁

I am becoming more aware of my inadequacies and weaknesses, so it’s great that I have someone as AWESOME as yourself, to point them out to me. Thank you. 🙂

Mind you, I’d like to see a long distance bicycle race with yourself and RealMan. I reckon he’d kick your arse, as I would Junkyards… 😉

Place yer bets, folks….

yes but which one of you has the biggest penis?*
that’s what this is all about isn’t it

*i don’t want to know.

Elfin is really Purple Aki and i claim my £5!

Seriously, I’m not that bothered.

So why do you go on and on and on and on to the point where people seriously consider taking their own lives if you “not that bothered?”

Race with Realman – whatever. He might win, I might win. How about a sprint? How about a run? How about a swim? How about anything involving physical strength? At the end of it only one leaves looking like (dreadful pun alert) a “real man” 😉

That might be because I’m not particularly bothered what people on a forum mainly inhabited by men think of my physique. Seriously, I’m not that bothered.

I dunno. You usually spit your dummy when people post pictures of you holding rodents.

So why do you go on and on and on and on to the point where people seriously consider taking their own lives if you “not that bothered?”

If anyone seriously considers taking their own life, because of the deranged gibberish I post on here, then I suspect they may have other issues that need addressing.

Ok so. We know that I will win this battle of wills, unless my ADHD kicks in and I get bored, but I don’t think it’s very constructive or helpful. I have noticed you are quick to belittle and insult others; your comments about RealMan are pretty rude tbh, and I can’t see where he’s said owt to you that warrants such a personal attack. As for the ‘Surf-Mat is AWESOME’ nonsense; have a word with yourself mate. You often big up your chest an ting on here about your prowess, so you’ve got to be prepared to take a little stick. Don’t take things or yourself so seriously.

At the end of it only one leaves looking like (dreadful pun alert) a “real man”

I just end up looking like stupid little idiot, mostly, but Game On for the ‘Surf-Mat V RealMan Race of Champions’ then?

Got to be a bicycle race. RealMan trains hard to race bicycles and has the physique that is best suited to his sport. As you’re dissing him, it’s his discipline you have to beat him at.

And my money’s on him…. 😉

6’3 and 15 1/2 stone here.

where’s my pie?

Elfin is really Purple Aki and i claim my £5!

Genius

😈

Though I think you really have to be from a certain area and of a certain age to know what you’re talking about… 😯 Now, wheres that tape measure?

I agree with Suft Matt on this… 😯

Much better to be fit, defined and a bit – “buff” I think is what the kids call it now. Anyone who thinks not is most likely deluding themselves.

Who wouldn’t want to be fit, healthy and strong? Truth be told it’s dead easy to get fat and unfit and then even easier to blame it on circumstance. I’m a reformed pie addict and in two months I’ve noticed a huge difference in mind and body. I’m not vain but it is nice to be told you look well too.

Though I think you really have to be from a certain area and of a certain age to know what you’re talking about… Now, wheres that tape measure?

I had to resort to Wikipedia.

^ Oh Dear…

5’5″ and ~10.5 stone.

As for being 55kg above – I used to weightlift in the 56kg category (when there was one) as a 19year old…strong, but a rubbish cyclist!

Much better to be fit, defined and a bit – “buff” I think is what the kids call it now

I agree. But it’s dependent on individual body type, surely? Long-distance runners are mainly very lean and often quite small. Basketball players tend to be very tall. Rugby players tend to be big fellers. Etc.

Horses for courses, innit? To impose your own values on others shows perhaps a glimmer of uncertainty about yourself….

Surf-Mat – would you like some lessons … in self-deprecation?

You really are coming across as a pita. 🙄

I must come to the defence of both keva and RealMan. They are whippets for sure but have come on Forum rides, enjoyed the banter and not felt the need to whip everyone’s ar$es.

I like them both. 😀

6’4″ and 91 kilos

I’m 25 kilos lighter than i was 2 years ago, although ive gone from a big old lump to a bit of a (relatively) skinny mofo. I could quite do with some upper body workout.

Ive tried the gym, but i just feel like a hamster on a wheel – I dont really want to go down the ‘pumping iron at home’ route, does anyone have any ideas – kayaking or something perhaps?

I’ve decided I want a ‘Dance-Off’ with Surf-Mat; settle this once and for all. And STW ladies can be the judges. 🙂

You’re going dahyn, Surf-Mat. I mean, have you ever seen me dancin’? Y’know, really dancin??

Me, on a night out:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FECFb1_YdII[/video]

Prepare yourself for abject humiliation:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XM2-drVH24[/video]

You’re going dahyn, son; dahyn!

Embedding videos was the worse thing that happened to STW……

*goes back to etch-a-sketch*

This country need more engagement dances!

Who wouldn’t want to be fit, healthy and strong?

Absolutely. But you don’t have to worry about how you look. Mat made references to all round strength being good for cycling. I think that’s true for MTBing, since upper body strength does help in downhilling and singletrack.

However, going to the gym to make yourself look good isn’t the same thing. My upper body doesn’t look as good as Mat’s, but I bet I can kick his arse on a downhill 🙂

However, going to the gym to make yourself look good isn’t the same thing. My upper body doesn’t look as good as Mat’s, but I bet I can kick his arse on a downhill

Finally. Something worth betting on.

6’1″ and 95kg. A typical pale skinny vegan.

However, going to the gym to make yourself look good isn’t the same thing. My upper body doesn’t look as good as Mat’s, but I bet I can kick his arse on a downhill

Im not so sure you could.

I mean my upper body is ripped to be honest – Hell, I’ve spent almost 20 years training like a nutter in the gym and at home so have become pretty good at riding bikes. I find having bulky muscles gives you an edge in most sports, rather than having correct technique etc.

I’ve been known to do push up variations that only one other man can do

Im not so sure, I mean my upper body is ripped to be honest

*swoon*

It’s like a playground here. So do we deduce from this keyboard chest beating that in fact Elfin and Smurf really want to **** each other senseless…

you boys need to turn down the gain on your ‘hetro’ settings…

I mean my upper body is ripped to be honest

Pics please. 😀

6’1″ and 95kg does not a skinny vegan make, Graham.

I find having bulky strong muscles gives you an edge in most sports

Fixed that for you.

Is ripped the same as buff or is that different?

I’ll be honest and say having a six pack or something close to it has got to be better than not having a six pack, hasn’t it?

David – ah ha. A fellow “upper body-er!” I have a couple of evil press up variations that you should try (you might be able to do them) – polzeyboy AT hotmail DOT com if you want to give them a go.

Also push from a seated “lever” , twisting lower body around and pushing up into a handstand – tried that? It’s damn hard but rather satisfying. Always looking for new stuff. I can’t get the hang of the planche press up though – bloody hard. Just about nailed “the flag” though.

Yes yes Mol it IS all pointless but it’s kind of fun to do. As for racing – if it was not too technical, dryish DH, no problem. If it was technical and wet, I’d jump off my bike in a huff then start crying. If it was a road DH race in any conditions, game on.

Anyway apart from the other benefits of working out a bit (I don’t do very much now – just maintenance stuff) what’s wrong with wanting to look okay? Being an ageing old balding and greying sod, it’a the only thing I can make look good 😉

So do we deduce from this keyboard chest beating that in fact Elfin and Smurf really want to **** each other senseless…

No I just want to dance with him! 😀

you boys need to turn down the gain on your ‘hetro’ settings…

Surf-Mat, in his infinite AWESOMEness, is far more a man than I’ll ever be… 🙁

It’s like a playground here.

No?!? Really? 😉

Is it not vanity? Is vanity bad?

When I see a gym sculpted body I do think the person looks like a bit of a tryhard.

PS I suspect davidtaylforth may have been taking the mickey.

Yeah, you say dance Elfin… 😆

I’ve been caught out by DtF in the past – doh!

Mol – there are levels of gym sculpting – there’s the pointless OTT “bulging out of your overly tight T shirt” look which makes the gym bunny look like a thug/a bit gay or there’s the “a bit more muscle and tone than your average person but not needing specialist clothes” look that sensible gym goers attempt to gain.

Think Jean Claude van Damme OTT to Brad Pitt “buff.”

And yes, I couldn’t sound gayer if I tried… 😳 😆

A totally average 5ft 11 and just over 12 stone here…

M/L in clothing, 32-34″ waist, 40-42″ chest, size 10 shoes. Totally and utterly Mr. Average!

Does that mean I win a prize? 😉

Also push from a seated “lever” , twisting lower body around and pushing up into a handstand –

😯

no wonder you need an awesome physiotherapist!

The only way to settle this elfy/mat thing is some kind of bare-chested greco-roman grappling on a beach in front of 5 foot and choppy waves. No knives, no eye-gouging or fish-hooking etc. On youtube so it can be pasted into this thread.

Listen don’t you start.

Elfin “Snake Hips” Safety. AKA; the Love-Ferret. When the ladies see me in action, let me tell you, there’ll be chaos.

But don’t take my word for it:

“Ah, he’s a right smooth mover that Elfin, let me tell you. Surf-Mat’s got no chance. Anyone got any chips?” -Darcey Bussell

online wrestleing…………….i’m in…. 😆

Surf-Matt, are those the “Chinese press up’s” you’re refering too?
I tried (in vain) to do them for a while, then just got bored. A huge amount of power/weight required for those, methinks.

Yes, I’m a fat barsteward 😉

The only way to settle this elfy/mat thing is some kind of bare-chested greco-roman grappling on a beach in front of 5 foot and choppy waves.

CG’s keen to help with the oiling up beforehand 🙂

Darcy says that about any-one. a couple of Wkd and a kebab and she’s yours for the night.