Are all small children arseholes?

On holidays with wife and boys – 4 & 5. It is quite frankly hellish, wonder why we’ve bothered. We are away 11 days into a 3 week trip to family holiday home the know well, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

They are just unmitigated **** at moment, meaning we are stressed to eyeballs and at wits end.

Please tell me its normal  and eventually ends? We are just so frazzled, wondering why bother go away ?‍♂️

Alcohol+++

Ours started to get reasonable at about 16. Hang in there.

A mate today suggested that children reach their peak aged 8. Before that they require too much maintenance and afterwards are frankly difficult. YMMV.

We have the same 6 & 3… Little s**ts fight over who looks out what window then they do something that reminds you that you do love them, sometimes.

Nearly there then, best book my liver transplant now, as its going to take a lot of alcohol.

Suspect it’s relatively normal,  just nobody talks about it, so is a bit despairing, even considering changing ferry be home sooner.

In short, yes.

But things change, and they could be unsettled from routine even if they know the place. They’re still young enough to react differently to the same thing. Just try and stay calm and don’t ‘pick up the rope’ for a tug of war when things get shouty.

I’ve a 4 and 6 year old, and I get double screamy crying when they argue who will open the door first some mornings. It’s infuriating but you’ll find a way.

We had some, quite frankly, shite holidays when the kids were little. Same shit different place but with the added bonus they know what’s going on is ‘special’ which winds them up more.

Don’t expect too much from them, or yourselves, and try and just enjoy some bits. If you have to park them infront of the telly for a bit then don’t beat yourselves up.

It gets better!

Take them to a big beach and let them run it off. Short of letting them drown, ignore them diligently.

They don’t really have much capacity for cosidering others’ perspectives or feelings, so yes I suppose they are all…

If it was me (esp if it was the family home so no sunk costs of bookings etc) I’d be telling them that if things don’t improve then you ARE coming home early.  You’d have to mean it though

Thanks all, good to hear its (relatively) normal. We try start every day fresh, but by time fought over breakfast for about an hour start losing will to live 🙂

I’m not sure that 5 and 4 are old enough to understand abstract consequences like that?

Sorry to be different but my sons were both pretty blummin’ good. 5 years different so generally not that involved in each other’s interests. Our holidays at that time were very outdoors oriented; Dordogne, Iceland, Eryri, Iceland, Auvergne, Scottish and local bothy trips etc. Each boy had his jobs to do for the team. Biggest argument (they were very rare indeed) was over the washing up if there was limited hot water.

No complaints here at all. Looks like either I was lucky or I took the advice re: alcohol, above.

But I will confirm that other people’s children are as you describe.

My older two,  the girls,  almost 9 and 7, fight a lot but the older one is much better.  She’s always been calmer but I think she’s starting to get more grown up.  That just leaves the almost 7yo to then focus on fighting with her younger brother,  4.  There’s a pattern isn’t there. I’m hoping another 3 years and maybe things will be calming down nicely.  PLEASE!!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/18/holidays-with-toddlers-are-so-much-more-relaxing-when-one-parent-gets-the-lurgy

Ours are 4 and 1.

Looking forward to some awesome family holidays based on the above.

The wee one has just started to grab the bigger ones toys. There are clearly some meltdowns coming out way!

Sorry to be different but my sons were both pretty blummin’ good

SHUUUUUTTTTTUUUYPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops, ?

Currently on holiday in north Wales with 5&7yo. Watching all the scenery go by the car window without my bike, feels like torture! Consequences kind of work but more often just stoke the raging inferno further. Difficult to know when to clamp down and when to let it go.

My kids were/are great*, everyone elses though are ****!

*Ok mine can definitely be **** as well!!

No need @Ambrose no need . To be fair, if can get the older doing jobs he’s better – thry just feed off each other and spiral so quick you can’t catch it sometimes.

Same @sirromj – try to let it go as much as possible, but they just ramp up so quick and are on hair triggers. Also have bike(s) with me but no joy yet.

Yes. Then they turn into teenagers, who are ****.

Still waiting for the non bell-endy butterflies to emerge from the chrysalis

Can laugh about it now but the older one trying to pummel the younger with his fists because the elder scratched himself on a thistle. Yes shits confirmed!

Remember just the physical effort required of carrying all the requisite shite, combined with heat, tired over excited kids, fraught missus and just thinking “why the **** am I doing this?” Genuinely best holiday with kids was Alnmouth, Northumberland. Massive, shallow beach, park, pub all within 100yds of cottage, less than 2 hours drive. (Comparative) Bliss

We had three under 4.

It was blooming hard work.

But I can’t say they fought constantly or disrupted that much. They tag teamed it more – always one needing something. The worst bit was the eldest didn’t sleep for more than two hours until he was nearly 4….

Behaviour is the way a child communicates when they don’t have the words. And of course that that age they struggle with self regulation as it’s not a developed skill.

All our holidays were outdoory ones. We treated them like dogs – exercises twice a day. My biggest stress memory was all the kit and clothes and how long it took to faff at times.

So no, I’m not buying the kids are horrid deliberately. And no I’m not calling them rude sweaty things either. They’re just kids.

Mine are still shits at 35 and 33  but then look at their dad

Yeah you’re **** for another 12 years yet at least! Actually mine were mint til around 10 so either yours are peaking early or they’re truly horrid.

sorry.

@matt_outandabout I don’t think it’s deliberate or malicious,  this thread is more a need to offload.

Younger has some development delays which add challenges, medicine to sleep too. We just also need keep reminding ourselves, we can’t expect do as much as we hoped/ did pre-kids when away here, easy to forget when browbeaten and tired.

We are just loving the challenge trying to decipher what they are trying to communicate.  It’s certainly not a language I’m getting the hang of just now.

All kids are arseholes. Your typical parent is happy to declare every other child on the planet is an arsehole. They are happy to declare their own offspring are arseholes. But if you dare to suggest their child is in fact an arsehole, or even agree with them when they say they are an arsehole, then apparently you are the arsehole.

Any arguments about who does what first would result in a rota. Kid A does it mon wed fri sun, kid B tue thu sat, then they swap for next week.
“Let them run it off”
100% this ^^^
It does get easier.
Stick to some semblance of a routine for bedtime, they still need sleep.
Best of luck.

Matt + 1

Mine was great when he was that age, and my 3 yo has been fantastic on the holidays this year.

Pls excuse me, I’ve had a quite alot to drink, but the only time I’ve had a problem is when I have parented poorly.

Maybe your expectations are too great, and you’re creating stress when a more chilled reaction would engender better behaviour.

Just exercise them harder, like dogs. Ours were pretty easy, but needed good long walks to tire them out. Which is why we got a dog!

Most kids are ok, I tend to get on well with 4-5 year olds as we have a similar sense of humour. Year 8 kids should be put in a pit for a tear (or sent on walkabout), but other than that they’re good.

Just do whatever they want all the time and you should be golden.

Ahole kids you say,I blame the parents ( winky/lolz emoji)

There’s plenty of self-flaggelation once they’re asleep amd parenting fails to re-live.

Just needed a whinge, going grab a beer, and begin anew tomorrow.

Younger has some development delays which add challenges, medicine to sleep too.

That’s familiar, one of ours has those issues too.

He’s now 21 and still waiting full assessment of his challenges, probably autism.

🙁

Ha you’d never guess we were deep into the school holidays!

Kid free here, but wholeheartedly agree with the notion that all kids are *****

I was a teacher for 18 years, no idea how I managed it! OP we’re fast becoming the only kid free couple out of all of our friends……holidays being worse that just staying at home seems to be a recurring theme amongst them all!

Has anyone blamed the parents yet?

Apparently I was a pretty bad toddler. Once I got past that I was fine and a very good kid.

Unfortunately that didn’t stop my parents holding those initial years against me since and constantly bringing it up, criticising me for it and punishing me for it.

Please don’t do that to your kids