[Closed] "You've ruined my life"...

yes

Yes.

Off the top of my head, the psycho hose beast I was going out with that went away to Aberdeen for the weekend, and came back engaged to a guy she met on the Friday night 😆

She slapped me in the face & then got on a plane to Canada, never to be seen again.

A girl I was seeing parting shot was, outside a very busy beer garden

"you just want a blonde slut to snort coke off your "c**k"

who doesn't?

"My dad thinks you are gay"

"I thought we were going to get married!"

[i]Really[/i]?!

And with that chaps - so long and thanks for all the fish.

'lets have a baby so we can get a council house' aged 17 😯

I told her not to slam the door on her way out.

She did!

Women. 🙄

Id been trying to finish with a long term girlfriend who just wouldn't leave me alone, so i told her I thought I might be gay. (i'm not btw) instead of finally leaving me alone she decided it would be for the best if she stuck around to help me through it.

Not my brightest moment

Can we still be friends?

oh, another one...after dumping a Christian girl (don't ask)... "you're going straight to HELL"

"you dumped my while casually making a cheese f-ing sandwich, you pr-k ??" my ex wife as she asked me what was wrong , whilst i made a snack 😉

Pedalhead-You owe me a laptop,just spat Tea all over it,laughing

Any good ones you've said yourselves?

I got dumped via text message once. Oh, the witty retorts I came up with a few hours later...

Our mortgage advisor's adult stepson came to the door and said 'my 50 yr old step dad is sleeping with your 24 yr old fiancee'.

I spent about 2 weeks getting wasted on cherry brandy then snapped out of it.

Ended up having monkey sex with a Sissy Spacek lookalike at the exact time I 'should' have been getting married.

I never looked back 🙂

At 16 a girlfriend went out on Friday night, phoned me the next day to tell me she was going out with someone else. Her last comment was, if you hit him I won't speak to you again.

Why would I want to speak to her again?

A friend of mine had a major bust up with the girl he rented a room from. She was seriously cute but also an actress and consequently a little 'unhinged'.

The bust up was something or nothing but it was really heated. In the heat of the moment he apparently made her cry and while in the process of consoling her, they ended up in bed.

As she lit a post-coital fag she casually mentioned that she'd recently been diagnosed with the clap and that right after he'd moved out (this was her giving him notice) he probably should make an appointment at the clap clinic.

She wasn't kidding either.

I got it Stoner 🙂

Not mine but an old girlfriend told me about a previous boyfriend of hers. He was a strict catholic and every time they had sex he would end up being racked with guilt and would immediately leap out of bed and hose himself down in the shower with cold water before curling up on the floor to punish himself.

After one such instance she became so annoyed with this she told him to do one and not come back. He didn't argue, he agreed with her that he quite understood, she was totally right in finding him disgusting and went out into the night clutching his clothes to his chest.

Gotta love the Catholic church eh?

Ended up having monkey sex with a Sissy Spacek lookalike at the exact time I 'should' have been getting married.

And that's a good thing?

[img] [/img]

I got dumped by a girl because God told her to, I shit you not!

She said "and I'll need all the underwear you borrowed back"

Fair broke my heart, I'd had a lot of fun in it 🙁

And that's a good thing?

Ohh yes...
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In my early 20s I was dumped because she could not keep up with my demand for "happy times" and was not romantic enough. FFS! Happy times is surely romantic enough. 🙄

chewkw - that's girl-code for "it's the shoes"

I'd just been made redundant in June and at the same time was going through a bad patch with the first wife, so I decided to have a break and booked a flight to Spain. At the last minute she decided to join me for the week. After a few days there she asked when my return flight was..........................
.
.
.
.
.
.
..........................I said probably around end of September. Which was spot on as it happened. 😀

I dumped a girlfriend in a christmas card.

Her dad wasnt best chuffed with me 🙁

mastiles - please forgive my nativity but what is [b]monkey sex[/b]?

I once told a girl that it was over and she asked (in tears) why.
"Because my girlfriend is coming back from The States tomorrow - she spent her uni' summer holidays out there working."

The look on her face....

my first girlfriend dumped me via a letter written on fungus the bogeyman notepaper.

We were 10

It doesn't get any easier 😐

Mathilda: Is life always this hard, or is it just when you're a kid?
Léon: Always like this

cynic-al - Member
chewkw - that's girl-code for "it's the shoes"

I was a proper cool dude with thick hairs (LOL!) in those days wearing proper Dr Martens with biker jacket and she was a goth .... hhhhmmm ... riding a goth ... hhmmmm ...

Merry Christmas DS 🙂

"It's not me, it's you"

I can't remember what any of mine have said, they were more of a fizzle than a pop :-$

I think my personal favourite was at the end of my first relationship (which lasted 5 years), was "I tried to see past the way you look and concentrate on your personality". Rather incredibly, he wasn't actually [i]trying [/i]to be mean, he'd become a hardcore Buddhist and therefore felt he should be 100% honest. Evidentally the stuff about 'Do no harm' had gone over his head...

"I've given you the best years of my life"

Well, if they were the best, love...

mastiles - please forgive my nativity but what is monkey sex?

[img] [/img]

After saying for the god knows how manyth time, No I do not want to trawl round a shopping centre I hate for hours im going riding.

Her: 'You're going to have to choose between me and those stupid bikes of yours'

Me: 'Well that's an easy decision...'

Her: 'Aw thanks. I knew you would see it my way of course'

Me: 'No, you don't see it mine... Im going riding'

I did have "but what if I'm pregnant" shouted at me as I walked out the door.
I don't think she was, it was over 30 years ago and I'm sure I would have heard by now. 😉

Let me see...

Got dumped by a girlfriend at uni two weeks before my finals. Apparently we were never more than friends that slept together despite the fact that I thought the world of her and was very keen to settle down with her. I remember getting very emotional in the bar later that night after being refused more tequila.

A few years later I met another girl and, after a couple of months of good times, she went back to France promising to visit as soon as she could. She did, but was distant. I later found out that she had met someone else the friday before she was due to visit me and only came over because she could not cancel her Eurostar tickets. Classy.

"you just want a blonde slut to snort coke off your c**k"

who doesn't?

+1! 😀

In my early 20's I was seeing a nympho. After a year of what felt like a constant nookie I said I wished she gave me a few minutes to regain my breath. She commented "You're gay! I'm moving out to my brother."
I helped packing and even walked her down to Ealing Bdwy so she could catch the Tube.

does sound pretty gay tbh

Not getting dumped but dumping her.

During the 1st Gulf War a mate on my behalf dumped a bunny boiler who had ideas of marriage but was only supposed to have been a one nighter. I confided in this mate and he wrote a firm but polite letter with my blessing to her to finish it. Her constant letters to me and visits to my mother ceased, result.
On leave afterwards I was physically attacked by her sister in the high street, her mother threatened to kill me in the supermarket and the girl herself wept so much whilst cursing me that an old couple had to lead her away giving me dirty looks as they did so.
Turns out my mate wrote another letter to her, ditching the original, to inform of my death in action.

You're an emotional retard

Was the best I've been dumped with 🙂