4 young kids
they dont respect hangovers !
Reminds me of seeing Mark Steel a few years ago (Mart Theatre, Skipton, best venue ever) - he recounted a story of getting home pissed in the early hours and finding his young child sat on the stairs: "ah daddy, great, we can play!"
7 months now, no interest in it now, just gets in the way, got past the stage of even thinking about having one.
I love lager. But one is too many and 2 is not enough.
It has cost me a lot over my life but at the moment I have swapped it for orange and soda.
If I could stay in and not go out that would be fine, but since the old office closed and I now work from the house I would go mad if I didn't spent time with other people.
Edit: Work done for the day, so off for a quick blast on the bike and another orange juice at the local.
7 months now, no interest in it now, just gets in the way, got past the stage of even thinking about having one.
I'd always assumed your username came from having emptied it so quickly.
Are you sure you're fae Ayrshire? 😉
I used to really, really ‘like a drink’. I was having 4 cans at home a couple of weeknights, then going hard all weekend every weekend. I got to 152kg. I realised to lose weight I’d need to stop boozing, so I stopped drinking in the house and went out less and less at weekend.
I’ve now got to the point where I can go a month without having a beer at all and without even thinking about it. I’d rather be feeling good on a Sunday morning so I can cycle/train than have a drink on a Saturday. I still drink; probably everything six weeks or so I’ll have a big night out and I can now go and have a meal and have 3 pints, which before would have been a meal with 5 pints then a session afterwards.
103kg now and can have booze in the house that goes out of date as I forget to drink it.
Like a lot of you my relationship has been pretty awful, one's too many and ten's not enough(ALL my relatives have dependency issues, I'm doomed lol)...
After my 50th last summer I knew I had to make a change, especially as out in Tenerife for my birthday, on the day before it I went biking from above Vilaflor to El Medano (about 1600m to sea level) with my Slovenian mate who lives out there down some well ropey barrancos, but I had had a heavy night before the trip and that morning had to have several "hairs of the dog" just to sort myself out(kill the anxiety) and do the ride which, in hindsight, I was lucky to come out of without injury as I was in effect still pi55ed....the missus, who was asleep when we left, went mental when I got back and I told her I'd been drinking before it...As did my mate Alan who I mentioned it to later...
I've since tapered it off and had my last drink mid December, and I'm feeling stronger, more positive, more focused and the sometimes crippling anxiety that now always accompanies a hangover has gone completely. I know lots of folk who "suffer" anxiety but who can't make the link and see how drinking exacerbates it. I too have done 3 months sober before but this time seems very different, maybe now I'm 50 I'm faced with "how much quality time" do I have left (mid life crisis finally!!)and I'd rather spend my money on bike and kayaking stuff than booze... (I worked in a distillery as an operator between 2012 and 2017 and mgmt were always giving us free whisky....Dracula and blood bank springs to mind). Looking forward to a year of bikepacking... the missus is still drinking which makes it harder but I just head for the man cave when she does..
I'm lucky enough to never have developed enough of a liking to the taste to be prepared to put up with the aftereffects. Occasional few beers out in town when we get a pass, occasional glass of wine, don't miss it if I don't have it. Haven't touched any since Christmas.
Biscuits, on the other hand...
I last drank on nye. I feel a different person for it. My sleep is no longer broken. I’m much less anxious about work. I’m fitter, happier and feel healthier. I just ask myself why do we do it to ourselves? I was in Edale for 9am today. Seeing those snow capped views is way better than ‘having fun’ - because society tells us we should be - on a Saturday night. Don’t miss it at all!
Some interesting points of view. I've just done a really hard ride and posted some PB's after a weeks hard training from which I should have been tired and not posting PB's at all.
This has made me think - in all the time my training has been better - basically since Christmas - I haven't been drinking. I know of some of the science based on damage to recovery and of course the morning after effect on workouts so perhaps my month of good results comes from abstinence.
Anyway - about the time nobeerinthefridge posted my 6 hrs had passed and I sipped on 1/2 glass of presecco, with the full intent of moving on to some Mount Gay XO. I finished the Prosecco, looked at Mrs K and said "Do you know want, I really don't want it" and went out to make a cup of tea.
I didn't drink much or to excess really anyway, but because I should be on my knees athletically today and am not, and because in my head now all I have is "alcohol is basically poison, I'm pretty sure I'm actually done with it. Maybe I'll report back in a few months and see if that holds true...
I have this in open all the time on my phone as a useful reminder:
https://thisnakedmind.com/6-reasons-i-dont-drink-alcohol/
I had 3 beers last week watching Liverpool v Leicester, I may have one tonight with burgers, but I've just done 65km Zwift ride so feel ok about it, especially after 50km yesterday too
P.s. McNulty, that's an impressive loss!
I had 3 beers last week watching Liverpool v Leicester, I may have one tonight with burgers, but I’ve just done 65km Zwift ride so feel ok about it, especially after 50km yesterday too
Like any reformed punter, I now feel obliged to inform you of the affect on HGH... 😀
PS Its wasn't the EN Cruise and Crush by any chance was it - I did that lunchtime.
No, it was a HERD ride, just killing time with a riding buddy really.
I don't even know what HGH is mate.
I'm currently reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. https://books.google.fr/books/about/The_Unexpected_Joy_of_Being_Sober.html?id=4gUsDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y
It's a good read, and gives an interesting take on things from someone really has come back from the edge, by her own account. I love a beer, but in fact, I love an early night, a good night sleep and the feeling I get from waking up and firing on all cylinders more. It's better for me and it's miles better for my family. I don't always manage it but at the moment my mind is in a place where a beer or two doesn't lead to another 6, and I'm really glad for that. I enjoy a sip of nice cold beer, but I have more evenings without than with. It's a positive feedback loop, to some extent.
I used to really enjoy an evening or Sunday pootle, which I would try to involve a pub stop for refreshments. Never impaired my performance, because I was riding purely for the enjoyment of being on a bike in the countryside, and the enjoyment of a really good pint that I felt I’d worked for.
I haven’t ridden for a few years now, so my drinking is largely restricted to a Friday and Saturday evening.
I might get a few bottles in from time to time, have a bottle of an evening, particularly if it’s been a really busy day - that can mean walking over six miles!
I feel no guilt or anything, I enjoy a drink for the flavour, I can easily count the number of times in my life that I’ve been drunk on one hand, I really dislike the sensation.
I do have to be careful, my g/f has a drink problem, when she first came to live with me, she was taking a water bottle to work filled with cider, and literally be falling down drunk when I met her from her volunteer job in town!
Things are better, but she still drinks when she gets home from work, which is an issue, but it’s a problem finding proper help in Chippenham - she used to go to Turning Point in Salisbury, which was helping, but their Chippenham branch was very inconsistent, then it close without notification and moved to Trowbridge, which is tricky to fit in with her variable work shifts.
So, my relationship with alcohol is now about dealing with someone else’s issues, rather than my own, and the friction that ensures. Hopefully things will improve, but there are psychological issues from her childhood which are unresolved and aren’t helping.
I have a
glassbottle of red pretty much everyday. Very rarely more. I dont let it worry me.
Prob an exaggeration... More like 5-6 bottles a week. With the odd beer during the day. The GF rarely drinks.
My relationship with alcohol is fine, however my relationship with my wife is under evaluation 😉
We opened a bottle of red with dinner; normally any left overs sits around for a few days and then goes off and gets poured away. But it's a decent bottle, I'm enjoying it, and I'm planning on finishing it.
Wife is less keen on the idea as she has to spend the evening with me.
Advice??
I’d always assumed your username came from having emptied it so quickly.
Are you sure you’re fae Ayrshire? 😉
Pretty much used to be the case mate!
Mcnultycop, respect sir, that is a phenomenal weight loss!. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Worst drug on the plannet. I’d rather walk 20 miles home with 2 punctures and a snapped chain than spend 5 minutes in a pub.
Advice??
You wouldn't want mine ..... i doubt she'd like it either !
No booze issues for me - and bearing in mind I live in a part of Spain that drinks red "house-wine" like I drink tea, I'm quite surprised.
My problem has always been a sweet tooth. Thankfully the availability of confectionary here is limited, but when I visit the UK I can put on 5 kg in a week!
I've recently taken to the 0.5% beers at home.
Benefits include;
less ear-arche from the wife
0.5% beers actually taste like beer now (Pistonheads Flat Tire and Brewdog Nanny State current favourites).
significantly fewer calories per drink
you actually can't get drunk from them (science-proven) - not sure if the minimal booze has any effects on you hard-training types though...
Might have one or two mid-week when previously I'd have had full strength.
I know of someone who is healthy and drinks red wine daily. Their Pand hospital has just said they are near to becoming diabetic due to intake of all of the sugar.
Worth a thought.
I like giuness and only drink it now and again and only a couple of pints.
I also love vodka and once a bottle is open I can drink a load. I am aware I will probably still be over the drink drive limit the next morning, as I rarely drink this now and if I do only in moderation usually. I can go for weeks without a single drink and I glad that I can.
We don't keep booze in the house. If it's there I'll drink it. If it isn't I can take or leave it. If I get gifted a bottle of spirits I will abuse it. I don't drink on a work night either. But yeah, can't keep alcohol.
Morning and a slightly hungover one , I drink when i'm bored drunk from the age of 15 in pubs. then weekend binging now mainly solo at home. Last drunk NYE and xmas day before that and only one post ride beer with an old mate till this weekend - Snow kept me home , found out bike frame cracked so no bike to ride so what do i do .. i drink and waste the time - don't get me wrong I've cleaned the house done all the washing , painted a room but I drunk with it .. yesterday had 4 large beers + finished off quarter bottle of Gin .. that's on top of 6 beers and gin the night before and a bottle of wine the night before that.. Predictably i feel pretty crap right about now and not just physically, there's defiantly a destructive mental side to it as well as I know i'm not operating as I should or hitting the gym and physically feeling better ..like Olly above -I cant keep booze in the house or it will go I think 25 years of drinking has formed long standing habits and whilst I do like a drink and listening to my tunes, Abstinence is the only way as I like the drunk feeling not the drink and that's probably quite dangerous.. Confession time over not sure if it feels better but I know I have an issue with it known for a while.
Mine is as it should be, don’t drink for 2-3 days at a time, open a nice bottle with the Mrs at the weekend which we might finish by Sunday (there’s usually a small glass left for one of us to have with Monday’s evening meal).
Like a vodka or G&T now and again but don’t think I ever get to having a second one. I like beer but it’s usually a bottle of ‘craft’ beer with my food.
I love the taste of good quality alcohol, I detest the majority of the UK’s attitude to alcohol and how it’s somehow essential to enjoying life.
“Eatings cheating”
“You lightweight”
“Mans drink”
“He can drink you under a table”
All that kind of talk just tells me you are probably a deluded addict with drink issues and lack of self awareness.
I do like to hear the anecdotal stories of people realising this and getting to a better relationship with alcohol though as it can be a very destructive drug.
I don't drink much at all but booze free days are rare - the mode average is 1 pint or a generous whisky or the end of a bottle of wine. Fri and Sat probably more but not a lot. I'm not worried but I am aware that the want to drink is the addictive element to alcohol (even though I know I don't have an addictive personality owt like that).
I certainly don't make light of anyone with addiction - I would and do happily drink LoABV, I should probably start choosing it more often at the supermarket now that you can get stuff that isn't terrible (I'm old enough to remember Kaliber... ugh)
but I like it and life is too short to drink cheap booze, also my father in law is a wine importer so teetotal would be disloyal 🙂
Good point well made Mr Smith - the 'man up' mentality that enforces drinking is the same one that prevents open communication about mental health and (I'm no psychiatrist but) probably the two are intertwined
I used to only drink socially but as friendships have waned due to age, commitments and being autistic I now do so out of boredom. I've no intention of changing my habits as it's my only form of escapism.
As @MrSmith and @edhornby have said attitudes towards mental health issues compound the problem. It's all fine and well to say people should talk but there's still very few people willing to listen. It's not just a male issue, many people on the autistic spectrum use alcohol as a coping mechanism, one person I knew even said to me that they could only cope with me when strunk (not sure if it was me or them who had to be wasted)
nonsense - you do not need to drink if you have autism. ( do you have proper autsim or / high functioning /asperger )
I used to be a heavy drinker at university, and in my 20s. I had a great time.
But with age comes the hangovers, and I can't be doing with them any longer, plus the fact the beer makes you fat.
Also, all my uni mates have married and settled down, and when I do pop in the pub, I realise pretty much all the regulars have an alcohol dependency, and with it problematic personalities.
So I tend to have a pint and leave. I may have a binge session once a month or so but will most likely knock that on the head when I reach 40 in a few years time.
@trumpton I didn't just pick the fashionable traits, I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Those on the autistic spectrum are twice as likely to have a substance addiction compared to the general population
sounds like you have aspergers /high funtioning autism/ on the spectrum etc Just ride instead if your fustrated.
I think when your drinking and not enjoying every sip its a problem, and that could get worst in various forms, I got to this point and stopped for 6 months the first couple of beers i didn't like, then I got the taste for only Real beers/ales nice wines. Now I'm happy with a few beers on the weekend glass of wine sunday. don't drink Monday to Thursday. I think SUGAR is my next challenge.
I think most people would be suprised just how potent and dangerous alcohol is compared to stuff like uncut crack and heroin. It's much more dangerous. Kills millions a year. But the really dangerous thing is how silent it is. Most people who are diagnosed with Cirrhosis don't have any symptons until the shit splatters the fan, and by then, the mortality rates within a year are shocking, Generally people find the evidence so unbeleivable, they deafult to 'it can't be that bad. 14 units! my 90 year grandad drinks that in a day!' But yeah, it's a killer.
Thankfully all our local crackheads stay well clear of alcohol, as they know how dangerous it is.
Flufftpleasure - would it not be more appropriate to compare deaths per 100 people for the different user groups? My point being far more people consume alcohol than crack etc, thus far more people will suffer from it. I am not at all saying alcohol is not as bad as you make out, I’ve heard professional opinions saying that if it was discovered or invented today it would be banned.
I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. Basically I've accepted the fact. Why? Because even on it's worse day it makes more sense than the world I live in. Aweeshoe 😉
Couple of points,
Just because you like the taste it doesn't mean you have to worry. Most of the big drinkers I know. Myself included don't like the taste.
Sbob - I like a challenge 😉
Countzero - This is a bit blunt. Walk away. I've lived that life. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. Best case scenario. She gives up. If she means it she will have to end it with you because you are an enabler. I hope I'm wrong and just another ***hole on the Internet with an opinion.
Op - It was an easy decision for me. Especially because I don't have children. If I did I like to think I would have done the right thing. Some of the comments on this thread reenforce that. But talk is cheap.
This is to my 'fan club' who know who I am and will no doubt start pm'ing people. I have nothing to hide. When I meet my maker it will be with a clear conscience. I have never and never would turn a blind eye to the raping of children because it's bad for 'business'.
@trumpton Nope, low functioning (comorbid disabilities) with savant syndrome
@trifoster You're spot on, but that's another thread/forum
I’m always amazed by the candidness and openness of people on here.
It’s refreshing.
For me, I used to drink every night a beer or two at home, but then stay off for a week (or more) when on call out duty.
I would rather give up beer than butter, for me it’s not something I think about.
Then I got done for drink driving and my consumption went up through the roof.
No more having to drive to the wedding/bbq/Christening/ every single party I was drinking when I wouldn’t normally be. Every person I’ve spoken with in the same situation has said the same. Lost job, no reason to stay sober for the next day. Goes into a spiral.
I realised what was happening and completely cut down to what I would say was my normal quota.
I wouldn’t consider myself a big drinker but look at units consumed. I’m not a guy that goes into pubs and watches football with mates and drinks copious amounts of lager.
I like proper beer, a can or two in an evening 330ml, but if I’m out and about able to and let loose I can’t be trusted.
Have massive insecurity issues that I pretend will be absolved by alcohol.
I think I am amazing when I’m in town and have had a few beers, I think most people find me quite funny etc but then I can’t stop drinking and it disintegrates into crawling home.
I do want to stop drinking so much I guess, I did 21 days of dry January, then went loco again.
Big doctor test to give me back my licence and everything was ok so
I’ve never smoked, disgusting habit to me, done a few low level drugs in my teenage years, never had a reaction that I need to do it more. Gambling, just don’t get it, but I do understand why some people do.
Alcohol is just a normal killer.
Hopefully we can continue the conversation here.
If there is anyone that would like to talk about alcohol then please be free to contact me. I know from my experience that I would like to lend a hand and even to talk shit.
My dad died through suicide (when I was 3 or so)and I was told he had an alcohol problem but he was adopted as a baby and probably had issues. Nan just said he was a Teddy Boy and normal.
My brother died recently of alcohol related issues. He drank from the age of 15.
The most amazing thing is that when he died he didn’t have anything in his system and no alcohol in the house.
Almost as if someone from above took him to a better place and just told him to clean up because before it was alcohol every single day for 25 years.
My grandad just died before Xmas. He drank nice whiskey, but maybe too much according to my aunt. For ducking sake he was 91, my Nan who has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t know us at all. I ****ing wish I could talk with her now to know if she liked gin. I hate the stuff.
These drugs, alcohol are not an issue, it’s our mindsets, mostly habits/craving that can be stopped by a swift fizzy water or; just going to sleep.
This is why I need to stay off alcohol, give too much information away.
In my case when I do binge drink it is related to job stress, loneliness, and the inability to process difficult situations/conflict in a productive way - too much people pleasing.
Ive downloaded a good app with CBT where you basically rewrite your worries and joined a swimming pool to try and stay out of the pub on weekends. My dad asked why I go to the pub and I said as I have friends there, he corrected me and said no you have drinking acquaintances, which is very true.
I’m just reading this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0721L1L39/ref=oh_aui_d_asin_title_o01_?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Its more of a descriptor and real life user experience than a self help guide, but its highly rated and gives a very good perspective of the faux world of aclhohol which is on a parallel with Markd’s account up there.
and +1 to those revealing the extent of thier issues, very brave people.
I’m just reading this:
I mentioned that earlier in the thread (but the link wasn't as good as yours 🙂 ) and completely agree. The thing with that book, even though my life has not gone anything like as far "wrong" as hers did with alcohol is that even now, there is so much I can recognise in my own experience with alcohol that is exactly comparable to hers that I could no longer really convince myself that I was in some way different. I'm probably not as far out in the depths of the sea, to use her metaphor, but there are many of the thought processes, feelings and consequences that I really can't say don't apply to me too...
Well written too, easy to read and entertaining (in places... 🙂 )
Yes, it’s with thanks to your recomendation I’m reading it. Although my op or situation is nowhere near some of the depths this thread has delved into, I’m likewise, as am now realising even a couple of drinks is my entry into social acceptance, which - crossing over to the counselling thread - I’ve realised my attitude to not enjoying sober socials is based upon a social anxiety for which alchohol would have a inhibition remover / confidence booster. CBT helped me realise I can only be me within the realms or moral decency and attitude, and I’m not 100% responsible for people’s attitude or assumptions toward me, so I no longer need alcohol to provide a perceived personality boost aka to act in a way that I felt is more acceptable to others than the personality I was born with and have matured throughout life.
I'm not a big drinker, but do enjoy a few beers or glasses of wine with dinner.
I used to go out at uni and get smashed with my mates because we all did it - sad thing is that I never really questioned why getting trashed was the key to a good night out. It does seem to be very much ingrained in English culture. Once I let uni, I drunk far less. These days I don't enjoy getting drunk properly because I hate feeling rough the next day. Even more so with a little 'in who wakes earlyish. I had six pints at the Christmas do this year (got a bit over excited) and I felt really grim the next day.
Usual consumption I guess is around four bottles of ale over the course of a weekend because I actually like the taste. What we are trying to make more of an effort with is having a beer or glass of wine because we want / fancy one rather than just because its Friday night. We've drink far less as a result since Christmas and I've not really missed it.
When my kids and my Mrs go to bed I get my guitar out, headphones, a few beers, YouTube, My Time.
As much as i enjoy a beer on an evening with the better half, I'm very wary of making it a regular habit. I grew up with a Mother who went from 'social' drinker to rampant hideous selfish alcoholic as i and my siblings grew up (somehow she's still alive, which frankly defies all logic from my medical training, im sure her bloodstream is 95% formaldehyde). The hours from her waking to sometimes around lunchtime are great, from which point shes rat arsed to the max. Frankly we'd have been placed in care these days with the neglect we put up with (my younger brothers in particular). I do tend to avoid socialising around alcohol because of this. I also have a job where i couldnt get close to booze even if i wanted to for half the year (oil and gas)....although crew change culture is to get smashed as much as possible (last chance to drink for a month/first to have a drink for a month depending on which way we're heading). I hate this and do my damnedest to stay well clear.