[Closed] your first serious relationship

2 years 9 months, still going [s]strong[/s] well still going 😉

Edit: I have no advise 🙄 sorry

2 or 3 weeks should be enough, there are plenty more women out there.

It'll get easier once you've accepted it's over and plan what you want from now on. Unless you feel there's still a chance to make amends, in which case do something positive about it and move on.
Always think forwards, don't mope or let your mind dwell.

You need to look at the bottom of a few beer glasses 😉

Being serious it does get easier with time, but you will never forget your first love.

Good luck

i was just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel until i just heard she has started seeing some one else, feel so angry and as if im back to square one.

6 years!! All I can say is dont miss it!!!

Mine was with a Kona Lava Dome. We met in 1998 but she snapped in Glen Avon in 2002. She was patched up but snapped again a few months later so we broke up for good.

its bloody hard althought on the up side i find punishing my self physically helps to carm me, today i managed to do a 3hr run in driving rain and strong winds. dosent help how i feel know thought

Well mate, I can offer no advice that will help, but if you go over to the Mugshots thread you will see a ton load of male mountain bikers with some very lovely wives and girlfriends so just try and hang on in there, stick with the biking and I am sure you will soon be meeting someone who is just right for you.

Just got out of an 8 year marriage. Thats interesting. 11 months; your feel fine in a month or two. My advice remove all evidence of her from your surroundings.

Well fella, my first serious relationship lasted 11 years. That's taken me a year to get over. Hurts like f*ck initially, but look forward not back is my only advice. And, unless you did actually do something wrong, don't blame yourself. If you did, then learn from it and move on.

Just you wait mate, you will feel so much better, when a little bit down the road, things have not worked out for her and [b]you[/b] have moved on.

She comes looking to start the fire again and then you can turn round and tell her to "go boil your head".

😉

yer but that would mean letting go and thats a big move, at the moment they are stuffed at the back of the wardrobe moving them to the bin could be hard. finding it hard to understand how you can have everything and then go to nothing. and they say boys are bad !

Hi mate, you Richard from Pitsford? Dave from Treads here. Your first serious relationship, and after two weeks shes seeing someone else, sod her, get yourself down Bridge Street and find yourself a Saturady night special, it does get better but it won't be for a few weeks yet, so just brace yourself and do what makes you happy, oh and if you do bump into her it may seem a bit childish but blank her, and wee in his shoes

PR if it is any consolation my first serious GF ditched me for a guy with one leg. I used to laugh it off by saying at least he couldn't get his leg over.

Been through it countless times, you've always got more time than you think to find the right one, and the more experience's you have, the more you'll know which are worth bothering with and which aren't.

You need to put trust in your instincts which can be difficult!

Listen to TWP's Seamonsters that'll sort you out!!

hiya dave! wasent aware you where on here, yer im away from monday to friday this week in wales but im thinking friday night or saturday a one night stand could be in need haha.

Stalking is the answer. When she sees how intense a watch you can keep on her she will convinced that she made the right decision.

no matter how pissed i am about the whole doecision i cant help but find relationship advice from singletrack rather amusing, is there nothing we cant fix on here ?
world domination i vote

ahhhhhh bridge street, do you younguns still chew your gums at legends?

them were the days, 5 oclock and staggering back past morrisons....

get yerself in the black bottom club lad, theres some 40 somethings in there to put you off women for life.....

It's not totally accurate, but from my experience, and experience of friends of mine, I work on expecting it to take a month to get over her for every year you were together...

Well, that's assuming you had some real strong feelings anyway. Not just that you were seeing each other because you had nothing better to do.

So after 11 months, you should be fine by the end of one month after you split up and be able to look at other women again. When I split from my ex after 3 1/2 years, it was over 3 months before I was interested in other women again anyway.

is there a hidden lot of northampton riders i have discoved here? im excited to hear from more

I went out with some really really nice/good looking and great in the bed girls. Enjoyed them/vice versa for the moment- for what we were at the time. People change, you change and so do they.

Live without regrets and hold NO grudges. 😛 ..... especially one - I didnt agree at the time but it really is better to have loved and lost then to have never know. The heart ache can almost inspire poetry, powerful emotion and thought. Part of what keeps us alive.
Don't become bitter or resentful, cherish the moment and move on. There will be another and more special.

i have membership to the Black Bottom, so if you want a night in there, give me a shout, heya tim how you doing, oh Legends those were the days, or for those locals slightly older, how about Ritzy or Pananche

yup keep meaning to get out with the treads lot, let me know when the next meeting is up delapre?

mainly do harlestone tho mid week

Assuming that you don't know him ...

1) Follow her new fella to his local with your mates and then bang on loudly within earshot about how your ex gave you a rash, spent your cash and shagged about.

2) Get muntered, have a kebab and a laugh.

Job done.

Today is the 9th anniversary of our first date. They're not all snakes with tits. Get over it, move on.

the zone and ritzy!,

or dare i say it what about Reflections in kettering??? ah the thursday nights spent in the "ladies night" of ketterings finest....

Reflections, i'd forgotten about that one, went out with a girl who lived up the road from that one, she had a cracking ass if memory serves me correct,

for mid week we meet at Delapre about 6.30 or if you prefer to meet at Harlestone just post on the forum and someone will look out for you

thank you hora great words and have made me think about it in a slightly different way.
on a different subject i think we should have a harlstone firs meet one time soon for the northampton lot?

yep i am in, if a little inept and unfit....

haha sounds like a shout, they will love my big thighs haha

so heres the plan Friday night ride around the Firs, then into town and a few clubs fully lycrad up, should ensure a good night and that you don't go home alone.....

should be a good one provided we avoid Route 69!!!

or the Jolly (W)anchor as it used to be called

I would suggest looking for different kinds of relationships short term. You can find them very easily nowadays I'm lead to believe. It helps, although it is a bit seedy.

As Hora says, it's better to have been through the love and pain than to never had done it. I don't regret any of my past relationships despite some of then ending very painfully. I've done the long term thing and the one night stand thing on a regular basis, enjoyed it all thoroughly and the best thing out of each one was that I moved on quickly and began the next.

You need to do that too. Just make sure you split the emotional turmoil from the last one, from the new one.

The jealously you feel is understandable but it will only hurt you and it's proof of your confidence levels and feelings. It's easy to say I know but the quicker you mpove on the quicker it benefits you and her (especially if you're doing the stalking thing). Stalking is way cool though, you need to do with at least one person.

Was she your wife or your girlfriend?

Get a new women, you will be going like a sewing machine in no time!

Don't try and 'be mates' or whatever.....just get rid and move on. Delete her number from your phone so you aren't tempted to call her in a drunken stupor and get out there and have fun.
It's hard not to mope, but keeping yourself busy will help. Clean your bike, ride your bike.....do stuff.

You'll realise one day in a week or two that you haven't thought about her at all that day and you aren't that bothered anymore.

[url=

Minchin - If I didn't have you[/url]

Find her new fella, go and see him at a local. Give him a well-used anal plug and ask to return to her. One of those:
[img] [/img]

plentyoffish.com

I'm told if you spend time trawling you can find someone from the lower end of your acceptable scale on there.
It's free and apparently about 80% hit rate.
Obviously the strike rate goes up as the acceptable level comes down 😛

After seeing it I just hope I never have to use it....

Some of them just dont look clean 🙁

Well, you don't really get over it as such. There won't be a time when you forget all about it and it means nothing to you any more.

What you have to do is accept it and internalise it.. by that I mean make it a part of you, another brick that builds your personality as you go through life. You work out where it sits inside you and then you carry on. Each girl is different, each relationship different. You don't replace them but you find new people, new things and life goes on.

Carry your exes around with you like biking scars. Like old friends and old enemies. They fade, and the pain goes away, but you can still recall the events and how you felt.

Fingerbike - that song is great.

Keep very busy would be my advice. It helps time pass and time heals most things, in my experience.

Also, for dealing with the 'pain' you treat it like you would a physical pain like when you fall off your bike and get an injury. Grit your teeth and keep telling yourself it won't last for ever and it won't kill you. You'll get twinges of varying degrees over time, but eventually you won't notice it except if you glimpse the scar and it will just jog your memory of a good ride you once had. (pun not initially intended!).

(just read Molgrip's post, sorry to repeat his thoughts! Great minds and all that...)

I was with my previous girlfriend for 11 years... from when I was 11...(yes 11) to after we graduated uni.

It all went belly up, a week later I met my current girlfriend and am now very happy 3 years down the road.

Easy come easy go.

Also, for dealing with the 'pain' you treat it like you would a physical pain like when you fall off your bike and get an injury.

Usually jump off, shouting and swearing, rub it a lot then show it off down at the pub that night? I'm not sure chicks dig the emotional kind of scar lol.

cheers mboy.

a month per year you say.

see you in 8 & 1/2 months.

My lass of 3 years couldnt keep her knickers on when she went back to uni, and now somehow its my fault since im the one thats moved on and shes stuck, having tried to replace me with various people, with her few friends at uni thinking she isnt "the safest bet", and the ones who are interested just want a go on the bike.

shame, but the best bet is be happy go lucky, Easy come, easy go sadly, plenty more fish, etc.

If its getting you down, Keep busy, more bike time, more pub visits.
dont leave any time free to wallow in sorrow, and before you know it it will be summer and youll be pinned down by another of the witches, unable to get out on ure bike 😉

sorry to hear it.

TBF, less than a year of relationship and calling her the 'Mrs'. No wonder she walked away.

Give yourself a month (or one very good single-handed self pleasure) and you will be over her.

Just don't call your next one 'Mrs' until you marry her. I bet you also told her you loved her after a month didn't you?

TBF, less than a year of relationship and calling her the 'Mrs'. No wonder she walked away.

Pretty common parlance - not indicative of commitment intention etc in my world. My mrs isnt my mrs but has been my Mrs for 11 years. If you get what I mean 🙂 Not everyone is uptight and precise on their use of language.

Well yes - a 'Mrs' after 11 years, married or not, seems acceptable to me. But 11 months - I would be barely calling someone a girlfriend after that time.

Shag her best friend?

m_f - she was my missus after the first few weeks - it's just a phrase to mean "the person you're dating" in the ponds I swim in.