If we go into that realm, I'd like to nominate JFK. It's the only film that I have fallen asleep in. This was at the cinema too, which is no mean feat as a 6' 5" tall person.
I was so soundly asleep I was snoring.
A mate did the same thing in Keanu Reeves' awesome masterpiece 'Speed'. But he had been drinking.
Ghost Rider - would have been sh*te but the added bonus of Nick Cage adds a whole new level crappiness
Judge Dredd - the Stallone version,
Oh! How about [url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286106/ ]Signs[/url]?
An alien invasion mostly consists of the aliens making crop circles to annoy Mel Gibson. Then they invade Earth, but can be defeated using water. Also some stuff with an asthma inhaler, possibly to avoid alien "does this smell of chloroform to you?" kidnap attempts.
🙂
Lost in Translation - so much critical acclaim; so much dull dull DULL dross.
The worst film I ever paid money to see was Independence Day.
Lucky. I paid to see Stargate.
Someone mentioned the Wicker Man remake. Tbh I haven't laughed that hard at a film for many years. Real, rolling tears of mirth. Great success. So funny I find it difficult to choose the best scene. When Cage leaps off the pier into the water after the ghost girl - a desperate horizontal 180, only to return empty-handed. Then she re-appears in his arms. Then she disappears. Then he double-takes and says 'GODDAMMIT!'. Or was it the bees - ' NO, NOT the BEEEEES'!!!!? Or was it the 'maam, step AWAY from the bicycle!'? Or his being pursued through the woods wearing bear-slippers?
Absolutely anything recommended as film of the week, and given five stars, by the Guardian on a Friday. Invariably Icelandic, filmed in black and white, subtitled, and you'll have lost the will to live about half way through it.
I now read the Guardian film reviews, and make a note to go and watch anything it gives one star to, and pans as absolutely rubbish. The final straw was sitting through this tripe....
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Battleship, massive pile of tosh.
lol anyone who actually went into Battleship expecting otherwise deserves what they got
A classic...
binners
Absolutely anything recommended as film of the week, and given five stars, by the Guardian on a Friday. Invariably Icelandic, filmed in black and white, subtitled, and you'll have lost the will to live about half way through it.I now read the Guardian film reviews, and make a note to go and watch anything it gives one star to, and pans as absolutely rubbish. The final straw was sitting through this tripe....
binners - MemberI find the Guardian film reviews useful for this. If they give it 5 stars and go into raptures about it, then DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!. It will invariably be Swedish or Icelandic, with subtitles, possibly in black and white, feature people mumbling incoherently, long, lingering arty, yet pointless, camera shots, it will be spirit-crushingly depressing, and absolutely nothing at all will happen! Then it will end, and you'll turn to each other and say WTF was that all about?!
It took me about 3 films, each of which seemed about a fortnight long, to realise that they're just all like this
I'm getting the impression you don't like black and white films you have to read 😆
Absolutely anything recommended as film of the week, and given five stars, by the Guardian on a Friday. Invariably Icelandic, filmed in black and white, subtitled, and you'll have lost the will to live about half way through it.
Out of interest, what would you consider to be an outstanding piece of cinema?
Elephant is an American film, in colour, with no subtitles yet is absolutely bloody awful! Its about the Columbine high school massacre, which is interesting subject matter. Yet he's made a film with all these incredibly long camera shots, mainly of people walking down corridors (Dogma rules apparently) which spends 2 hours introducing a series of characters you couldn't give a **** about, who then all get shot, and you're actually glad, so that you can finally go to the pub
Good shout.The Postman
It was on TV one evening, I got about 30 minutes in and was reaching for the remote to turn it off, when I foolishly decided to see it out, possibly as some sort of macho test of endurance.
Three hours of my life that I will never get back.
Elephant is an American film...
I've seen Elephant, though thanks for the review. I asked what you considered to be outstanding cinema, you know, something brilliant.
Well I'm just off to see Inside Out with the kids now. I expect it'll be more enjoyable than anything the Guardian have gone into raptures about recently, by a country mile!
I'll do you a review when I get back. It probably won't feature any comments about the length of the camera shots, though I'm reliably informed by the Guardian, that long camera shots are the very pinnacle of cinematic brilliance. Far, far more important than anything like... oh, I don't know... a plot!
Kermodes SATC2 rant is good 😆
more enjoyable than anything the Guardian have gone into raptures about recently
What, like oh I don't know, Inside Out?
The Brothers Grimm
[i]Grim being the key word here[/i]
It had Matt Damon and Heath Ledger in it,a 5 star rating from Netflix*
So I thought,"this should be ok".
Nope,what an absolute donkey.
* [i]I now know that the Netflix star ratings are posted by under 16s[/i]
Gotta be Open Water for me.
... is the correct answer.
A film where two hateful people float about in the sea for an hour. The dramatic high point is when one of them needs a wee. Dreadful, dreadful film with no saving graces whatsoever, unless you count the gratuitous boobies at the beginning.
Honourable mention goes to the Blurred Witch Project. Hyped up to the moon and back, five minutes in I was rooting for the serial killer.
It's relative though. The Netflix film selection resembles the DVD bargain bin in a pound shop. Anything with an actor in that you have heard of is probably going to get 4 stars plus.* I now know that the Netflix star ratings are posted by under 16s
WALL-E - went to see it with a couple of my younger cousins, out of the 8 of us there half of us fell asleep some-point during the film
anyone else think Interstellar was a bit pap?
Highlander.
or Cake.
The only 2 films I've walked out of the cinema before the end
Interstellar? was up at the near perfect for me
How's about [url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338526/ ]Van Helsing[/url]?
A film that manages to make a total dog's breakfast out of a mix of Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale in a corset, Dracula, Frankenstein, werewolves, Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde, and every tired trope from every vampire film ever, for ages. A review on IMDB describes it as having a plot "almost pretextual for the special effects".
🙂
that 'Dancer in the Dark' thing with Bjork. Soooo boring. I don't know if it ever got good, cos I didn't make it past the first half hour. Even Bjork couldn't keep me watching . Something to do with the glasses she was wearing 😆
Highlander.
GTFO, Highlander is awesome.
[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217613/ ]Battlefield Los Angeles[/url]?
In which some soldiers run around yelling, because: Aliens.
I don't know whether it was worse than Battleship. It's possible. 😉
Vroom - filmed in Lancashire around Nelson. Utter pap.
I remember thinking I was "lucky" to get free tickets to the premier at Unit 4 in Brierfield. I was very wrong. I suspect they struggled to give them away!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096405/?ref_=ttpl_pl_tt
[i]GTFO, Highlander is awesome.[/i]
I always get that kind of response (from geeks 😉 ) . It was the accents, I couldn't get past the accents. So annoying.
You have a Frenchman playing a Scotsman and a Scotsman playing an Egyptian. What could possibly be wrong there?
World's end . Simon pegg . I've lost an hour and a half I'll never get back. Disgustingly poor.
I didn't think it was that bad... some of the drunk conversations seemed to be accurate the the shit people come out with when pissed.
Not the worst film I've ever seen, which must be Robin Hood men in tights.......
Yes. And that Skyline one that is very similar.Battle Los Angeles?
Mind you, I think Aaron Eckhart being cast is a pretty good indicator of a film that is going to suck.
I was genuinely perplexed by Battlefield Los Angles...why aliens? what were they for?
GTFO, Highlander is awesome.
Highlander is possibly the most awesome film ever made, possibly because I was an extra and, although I never appeared on screen, every time it gets mentioned, I hope for the extended version where I get my 2 seconds of near fame.
WALL-E - went to see it with a couple of my younger cousins, out of the 8 of us there half of us fell asleep some-point during the film
I thought it was a wonderful film, tackling an interesting and timely topic with great humour and intelligence.
I think I'm the only person in the world who liked Open Water.
I shall balance that out with being (probably) the only person in the world who thinks Pulp Fiction is a bit 'meh'
Far, far more important than anything like... oh, I don't know... a plot!
It would appear from your inability to answer a simple question, or at least by the clumsy but slightly comical way in which you're avoiding it, that you just struggle with anything different from how you think films 'should' be. The 'plot' in Elephant is so stunningly obvious - it even gets repeated and cross-referenced, what, three, four times? - that one would would have to have been looking elsewhere to miss it.
If you don't like something, or don't understand it, then just say so. Saying it is awful just makes you look like a fool. Elephant, whilst no Citizen Kane, is a solid piece of cinema. It's an unconventional view and depiction of an incident that most people only ever saw from the distorted and glamorised perspective and prejudice of the mainstream media. I guess some folk struggle to get on with things when they aren't being told how to experience them.
Harlem Nights for me and also Lost in translation. Hard Candy deserves a mention.
You're all WRONG.
Thomas and the Magic Railroad is the worst.
It is a chopped-up, disjointed mess of a turd with a baffling cast all acting way below their abilities.
All the Alien films after Aliens.
They get special condemnation for the spectacular drop in standards.
As do all the Star Wars pish after Empire.
hels - MemberAll the Alien films after Aliens.
They get special condemnation for the spectacular drop in standards.
Alien 3 is interesting. If you read about the production, the development process that led to the final film it's fascinating stuff. If you're interested in that kind of thing of course.
David Fincher is a fantastic film maker and had a very clear vision of what he wanted. The studio and producers had very different ideas. It's amazing it's as good as it is.
I'd definitely agree with Warhorse, I'd forgotten that gem earlier. I was also made to sit through Michael Jacksons thriller as a child by an older cousin who thought he was wonderful. Talk about child abuse.
Oh yeah, Alien. My cinematic contrariness continues, as I was massively underwhelmed by that too.
Snake Eyes. Snake Shite more like.
Not Nicholas Cage's finest hour.
