MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
break wind?
Never?
The first 6 months?
The first 6 days?
The first date?
Or, When uttering those words, 'I'd love to take you out (parp) sometime, are you free Saturday?'
Any time as an alternative to developing crippling cramping pains.
Its not what you do, its the way you do it.
A bit early in the morning for this. Were you woken by the rumble of thunder?
LOL!
Crackin' start to the day!
Toooot!
Oh, whos farting here? The bloke or the burd?
Not when you're heading there. Don't want a bite mark, do you?
I've never farted in front of a lady... :o)
if i'm anything to go by, four and a half months.
I tend to wait until we leave the restaurant, but before we get in the car.
A good friend of my wife told he she'd never had a bloke fart when in bed with her. Now either she is very lonley most nights, a heavy sleeper or the blokes in question were adept at the SBD!
In answer to the question, all depends on the other half really.
J
FYIish. There is now medical evidence to suggest that the 'feminine need??' to not fart is actually bad for you.
In terms of farting or Pro-biotic yoghurts one is clearly cheaper .....
If the answer is never then I for one am very glad I am married!!!
Don't know if it's an Atkin family thing, but.....
[b]PAAAAAAAAARRRRRPP!![/b]
and, at what stage in the relationship is it acceptable to stuff your partners head under the duvet having dropped said bottom burp........ 😆
Was this thread started 2 hours ago e.g. 6.30am, as a result of aforementioned tootage?
Was one of your rumbles in the jungle the start of a heated argument bunnyhop?
If so, we need more detail! 😀
[b]RIBBBETY-RIBBBETY-BREEEEEEEEP!!!![/b]
last night I let a real face melter go... hung my ass out the covers, so not to blow it into the wife's faces... no joy... it was so bad I burst into hysterics.... savage..
we have been together 11 years… but off the back of that… not for much longer…
Sometimes the smell clings to skin like burst bubblegum. If it's strong enough to make you think your ass is melting then don't think the rest of your, or anyone elses in the blast zone, body will come away unscathed. 🙂
RIBBBETY-RIBBBETY-BREEEEEEEEP!!!!
Oh, FFS!
PMSL!
Actually crying with tears now.
😀
Hoe many people fart in their hand and throw it in a face?
[b]PAAaaaaaaaaahhhhh...........FFFSSSSSTTT!![/b]
A friend of mine tooted in his hand, sucked it into his mouth then went to another friend and blew it in his face. The smell had not lost any of it's strength. Simply amazing.
Thankfully there were not any ladies present as I doubt they would have found the funny side of it. 😀
You need new 'friends'
😉
He's coming to the Lakes. You've already met and got on well. LOL!
If they have an older brother like mine they wont be surprised! I left it a month, she actually asked me if I ever Fart and if there is anything wrong!!
Im sure its not what attracted her to me, but I use to fart infront of my lady before we were courting. I've always believed it being better out than in. Now after 10 years of marriage I still have fits of laughter at her reactions especially the duvet ones like neilforrow says.
However she is still incredibly embarresed the other way round.
i remember holding it in for the first 6 to 12 months and now all she does is fart! (now 5 years in though) lol
I've never farted in front of a lady... :o)
...just my wife.
I'm a bit of an old girl on this one, until you've reached the really comfortable stage of a relationship, I'd say there's never a reason why you can't excuse yourself and do it in another room, outside etc....
I know it's natural, but c'mon we really don't need to smell it.
Oh and as for the head under the duvet stunt... Never funny...
The fiancee and I have been together for a three years now (I think) and I try and _never_ fart in the same room as her, or in ear or nose-shot. If I have to, I head to a man friendly fart safe zone (one of two bogs) and let rip there. That is acceptable. So is outside if there's a breeze, I am quiet and I can blame it on the dog.
Speaking of the dog... Little bugger lets rip just about every time the fiancee makes a fuss of him. I guess he's just helping me out.
I have to point out at this stage that one of my proudest moments was making my ex-wife retch with a fart one morning. That was not the reason for the divorce I hasten to add.
It's always socially acceptable at every stage of the relationship.
Especially if you drop a massive one over dinner on the first date, and the waiter comes over and you say "smell that? She's a lucky lady..."
I remember the kids watching telly one Saturday morning and one girl phoned in to say her dad would fart in the biscuit tin and the offer her friends biscuits(classy on a whole new level)
Willard -Speaking of the dog... Little bugger lets rip just about every time the fiancee makes a fuss of him. I guess he's just helping me out.
Maybe its your fiancee letting one rip as when she makes a fuss of the dog she knows he'll get the blame
Can't remember who it was, but a man much wiser than I once said;
It's better to fart and bear the shame
Than to hold it in and bear the pain.
Oh and as for the head under the duvet stunt... Never funny...
You couldn't be more wrong. I think it's hillarious when I do it to the missis, and I'm pretty sure her's are tears of laughter when I dutch oven her...
If you do guff in front of someone and they are mortified, you could always try Vic Reeves' line: "Sorry. What must you think of me? Apart from that I eat well."
my good lady seems to accept it as normal behaviour, what she seems to get wound up about is me laughing "like its the first time its ever happened" everytime I manage a particularly fine curtain ripper. I'm 40, should I be making an effort to grow up?
My 4 year old nephew should turn up in an hour or so, think I'm going to get him to pull my finger when he arrives to set the tone for the next few days 🙂
Farting in a biscuit tin is fantastic
I'm 34 and I still find farting funny. Sad, a little pathetic, bit oh so true.
[i]Oh and as for the head under the duvet stunt... Never funny...[/i]
Oh it is. It really is.
farting is inherently funny and age is no barrier...it's about the first thing both of my children ever laughed at.
I once new a stunning natural blonde (intelligent, quirky and ecentric). One morning she let rip a real rolling long one. I automatically stiffened in shock, turned my head wildly and said 'what the **** was that'?...she replied 'you've been farting literally all night in your sleep so why cant I'? For once, I was speechless.
Sounds prudish but I cant stand people farting, and I dont think its at all funny. Never have, not even as a kid?! In fact I'd say it borders on disrespectful in some senses (certainly to some senses!). I dont want particals of your cr*p inside my head, thanks!
farted in bed in first month of current relationship.....
How long before a tpoonami (trumping under the duvet and wafting it it a wave like motion towards her head)?
coffeeking - Member
Sounds prudish but I cant stand people farting, and I dont think its at all funny. Never have, not even as a kid?! In fact I'd say it borders on disrespectful in some senses (certainly to some senses!). I dont want particals of your cr*p inside my head, thanks!
Evidence of Coffeeking's overzealous toilet training, right there!
😉
Just tell her you dont mind when she farts (so long as its not when you are muff diving) 
Evidence of Coffeeking's overzealous toilet training, right there![:wink:]
Not really 🙂 Just evidence of my parents not wanting a disgusting smelly and embarrassing child I think, and I thank them for it now!
my mum always told me the definition of a gentleman..
is one who leaves the bedroom to fart.
.. an no I don't 🙂
here here CoffeeKing, so nice to know I'm not the only one - was starting to think I was a freak of nature 🙂
Evidence of Coffeeking's overzealous toilet training, right there![:wink:]
Not really Just evidence of my parents not wanting a disgusting smelly and embarrassing child I think, and I thank them for it now!
Classic Freudian anal fixation.....
Classic Freudian anal fixation.....
Eh? Care to explain?
here here CoffeeKing, so nice to know I'm not the only one - was starting to think I was a freak of nature [:-)]
Don't worry, we'll stick together in a world of permanent adolescents :)!
glenh - I can only conclude thats a load of tosh - after a quick natter online to my mother I was never punished as a child during toilet training (she didnt believe in punishing for things that were not my fault) and I display equal number of traits from both retentive and expulsive, I'm disorganised, untidy, generous and not a perfectionist in most things. I am a bit stubborn and do like self control though, to the point where I actually quite enjoy testing my "mind over matter" abilities. Based on that I'd consider myself "average"!
Next.
I automatically stiffened in shock
Hora, that really is not an image any of us want to think about, thank you very much...
Spose it depends on the person. If a lady isn't bothered, then there's no problem. I do try to avoid trumping in the presence of most ladies I've known, though. I wouldn't really want them to let rip with a right milk-curdling paint stripper, so I don't do it in front of them. The odd 'accidental' one is ok, really.
Can be funny, sometimes, though... 🙂
This bloke does not appear too worried
[img] 
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never.
A friend of mine farts down the phone. Mid call he says "can you hang on a minute?" & two seconds later the handset is next to his arse & a loud parp comes down the line! Closely followed by him laughing his head off!
Always move the phone away now when he asks me to hang on. Must admit have got him back a couple of times though!
never use one of these wibble;
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neilforrow - "the wife's faces" - brilliant !
I'm sorry, but the definition of a gentleman is: "One who knows how to play the banjo, but chooses not to".
The best bits farting while your both sat in bed watching TV/ reading a book then stuck her head under the covers mwahahhhhaaaahaaa 😆
ohh my sides..
farting IS funny, FACT
having said that I'd never parp in front of the girlfriend..
the wife is another matter
just let it rip and then....
was that you?
Farting is as amusing now, as it was when I was 5
Dinnae fart if yur gettin a blur job. Or at the dinner table. Any other time is fair game. Wherever you may be, let your wind blow free!