[Closed] What's wrong with a simple hello?

YOU live down south ? Surrey ?

S'up?

Or as I prefer " Morning Officer......."

YOU live down south ? Surrey ?

think that's a form of racism...

I stayed in Melbourne for a couple of weeks and ran around the lake in Albert Park in the mornings.

Said hi to most of the runners coming the other way, thinking I would get an acknowledgement, and the only one I did get was a guy who had emigrated there from the UK. I have therfore come to the conclusion that all Australians are less friendly than us down in Surrey...

I've noticed similar with please and thankyous as well. Lots of people just state what they want, sometimes whilst talking on the phone or with ear phones in. Rude.

It's nice to be nice.

True OP.

Often experience the same thing at work and around CW. Barely a day goes by with ignorance high on people’s agenda.

Agree, it’s a simple acknowledgement that two humans are connecting. But all to often that simple gesture is trampled upon.

You see that's where I'm a grumpy ****er and if people don' acknowledge me holding a door for them or stepping aside etc they get a **** off tablet. As above its nice to be nice, Derbyshire as I see it thankfully has a lot of politeness still in it and I'll always chat to someone who is offering me a service.

All my customers are lovely and we are proper Surrey.

You had me at hello.

We are no longer a nation of shopkeepers, but a nation of ignorant, mannerless twunts.

i prefer the more informal

WAAATS UP DAWG.

or Bom dias , Como Esta .

Depending on where i am of course. But yes i agree , not enough Human interaction these days - and thats from me as a self confessed Introvert.

I just sniff people's bottoms these days.

I have therfore come to the conclusion that all Australians are less friendly than us down in Surrey…

I think thats racist....

Surrey?  How dare you!  This was in The City Of Dreams, the 1970's vision of a perfect world, Milton Keynes.

Surrey can surprise you. Climbing up a road, loads of roadies going past, and they're all smiling and saying hello! 😯👍

Riding along the canal is interesting as it varies on the time of day with politeness and attention.

Morning and I'm getting smiles and hellos (I always do the same, whatever the time). Usually morning dog walkers and runners, but they seem to be in a cheery mood in the mornings.

From midday onwards, especially at weekends, the grumpy brigade are out. Either see you coming or I ring a bell*, and I say hello, but just a vague acknowledgement or a dirty look, if not jumping out of the way as if I'm about to run over them (I slow way down and give way where appropriate). * - I've also had sarcastic tone "at least you've got a bell", and of course when I forget it "get a bell!" (despite seeing me from a mile off).

Afternoon to evening and it's all the runners with headphones in or people walking staring at their phone. Aside from not noticing me, when they do and I say hello, it's just a blank expression back.

Hello (wave)

Good morning all.

I find people in Surrey are friendly enough when I'm out and about but I guess you will always find the odd grumpy git wherever you are.

Bye for now!

Take solace in the fact someone (you) probably made the morning that wee bit better.

I like to ask how they are too. Its the step up from just a hello.

Its embarrassing when you are at a table ordering food and everyone is being rude.

Junkies need their fix... no time for manners until the caffeine has been administered.

Not to mention the practicalities of queuing... all those "morning"s add up, reducing the overall efficiency of the operation and increasing frustration levels as nanoseconds turn into microseconds.

If I was her employer, I'd think about docking her pay.

Someone has to do it.

NSFW. Lots of swearing.

I stopped off for a coffee on my ride to work this morning

wait, what? oh to have such a wealth of time to do such things.

my morning consisted of: get up, feed and water kids, saw sofa in half, put it in the garden, tidy up mess, dress kids, neck coffee, ride to work.

Damn beat me to it zippy.

Out here in the Alpujarras, the Spanish never bother with English politesse.

If you use please and thankyou all the time, they just get irritated. ..

Even here in the heart of darkness (Yorkshire) folk say hello, please, thank you, etc. Simple manners isn't it?

I think just about every person from workmen to dog walkers said hello when I commuted in this morning but then it's usually the same people I'll see each day at about the same point so everyone sort of "knows" everyone else. The afternoon crowd are a bit different and it's just random people at random points.

It's the tossers thumbing through their phones that annoy me, it's almost as though the coffee shop assistant is disturbing them by asking them what they want etc.

"saw sofa in half"

Is this a daily morning routine? Could get a bit expensive. Would be cheaper to set off earlier and stop and buy a coffee....

I was out on an evening road ride around Leamington Spa last week (normally ride in Yorkshire but was away with work). Majority of other riders at least acknowledged (except the head down TT'ers that whizzed past) then one normal rider completely blanked my greeting with his serious face on. That put me in to an internal grumble about why be so miserable when you're out on a lovely evening, doing your hobby and getting fresh air. But then the next guy gave me a full on wave and massive grin. That reset the balance. Either that or he though he knew me. Maybe he did? I didn't recognise him though.

Out here in the Alpujarras, the Spanish never bother with English politesse.

If you use please and thankyou all the time, they just get irritated. ..

Language, innit. Oiga! Spanish doesn't have all those "easing your way in to the conversation" phrases that English does, but that doesn't mean they are rude. On the other hand when I lived in France it took me a while to realise that I was supposed to address the shopkeeper as "Monsieur". That made a big difference to the way I was treated. I thought I was being polite but I wasn't observing the conventions.

Not replying "morning" to someone serving in a cafe is rude in England/Surrey, but only in a minor way. Not taking your eyes off your phone IS really rude, but pretty typical.

Just remembered when I was in Russia and the situation was reversed... the people behind the counter would avoid smiling and acknowledging you at all costs, to prevent betraying any emotion; apparently as a result of conditioning in the aftermath of Stalin's purges...

Bloody grim to be honest, not to mention a right pain in the arse when it comes to buying train tickets.

There again, as becomes clearer every day, we're all living in a surveillance state, but the beauty is, rather than cowing down and licking boots, no-one really gives a shit.

Saw a sofa in half? brakes. Like some kind of really shit magician? Did you say good morning to it first?!

in that London for a while now

I'm always polite but find myself avoiding eye contact these days.

need to up my game

Lots of people just state what they want, sometimes whilst talking on the phone or with ear phones in

Indy coffee shop near me has a sign up saying words to the effect of 'your phone call is clearly important so i won't disturb you by trying to serve you during it'

Even here in the heart of darkness (Yorkshire) folk say hello

Erm.. You 've not met my FiL have you?

I'd say Harro'git is an exception to the rule... Pretty much half full of the "entitled" brigade.

I’d say Harro’git is an exception to the rule… Pretty much half full of the “entitled” brigade.

S'okay, they are marked apart by their being closed off inside their Range Rovers so it's impossible to speak to them anyway. I generally get friendly 'hellos' when out and about walking my dog but get the usual cycling elitism – roadies won't acknowledge me on the mountain bike, off-roaders and roadies all get very confused about whether or not they should say anything when I am riding the singlespeed.

All my customers are lovely and we are proper Surrey.

No need to apologies.

 roadies won’t acknowledge me on the mountain bike, off-roaders and roadies all get very confused about whether or not they should say anything when I am riding the singlespeed

You can make their heads explode if you wheelie past on a fatbike.

Brakes, it's one of the benefits of being a long term singleton.  The negatives are crushing loneliness and a nagging feeling of failure as a human being.  But I get to drink coffee.  Alone.  😉

I've been noticing that this is a thing at work - not saying "please". I get emails that say "Send me the report on x. Thanks ". It really grates. Is it some sort of willy-waving power thing?

my favourite game when I have the kids on my bike (as per last sunday) is to get them to be in charge of the bell and to say hello to people and thank you to bell-dingees

Some people are genuinely grumpy and we just laugh that off, some people smile back, something grunt, some speak. We got a man on a walking stick (standing on the pavement while we were on the road) to smile, say hi and wave back, that was good

It takes someone particularly miserable to not respond to a 5 year old girl being nice

based on averages, there must be some grumps on here though!

It does seem to be a very common problem - along with not bothing with please and thank you.

I see it regularly at the deli near work - people just asking for X. No please or saying thank you when their lunch is handed abck to them. Being glued to a phone screen whilst doing it makes it even worse. Basic manners cost nothing.

I like the sign about not interrupting someone's phone call 🙂

There's one rider I used to see fairly regularly on my commute who didn't acknowledge me no matter what type of bike I was on. I never saw him talk or interact with any other users of the canal tow path either. He just happened to ride an MTB but I think he was just a miserable sod.

Compare with the very well spoken elderly lady who I'd see walking her dog each morning who would always say hello and occasionally I'd stop for a chat.

Some people are nice and some aren't.

As this has moved onto a different area than just being rude to shop staff (which is uncalled for).

Some people are needy and some aren’t.

I’ve been noticing that this is a thing at work – not saying “please”. I get emails that say “Send me the report on x. Thanks “. It really grates. Is it some sort of willy-waving power thing?

It's probably more a lack of time to think about being polite. Or perhaps a bit of a pecking order to it - do they grovel when they're asking their seniors to do something?

Anyway, I try not to be on the phone etc. when ordering stuff, but if people want a guarantee, I'll need a guarantee of no queue. I don't carry a computer round in my pocket to sit in a queue for 30s without stimulus FFS!

Big question is, when they ordered their coffee... did they say "Can I get... " ? If no hello, followed by this, they must be annihilated.

It's basic manners innit..variation on a theme but I always say Hi ..or howya doin ? Please & Thanks .

Mind you if someone doesn't respond it's a fk-u under my breath ...

in that London for a while now

I’m always polite but find myself avoiding eye contact these days.

Try smiling to folks on the tube, or saying 'Hello' or 'Good Morning'. It really freaks them out.

I used to do it quite often when I lived down there, just for giggles.

I’ve been noticing that this is a thing at work – not saying “please”. I get emails that say “Send me the report on x. Thanks “. It really grates. Is it some sort of willy-waving power thing?

There's a difference between assertive and rude (and passive aggressive too). We were actually told to stop being overly polite in business communications and just ask for stuff.

Not so much omitting please and thankyou, but a lot less phrasing of instructions as questions. Tell someone what to do rather than asking them to do it.

E.g. omit the bit in brackets." [Can you] write a summary of that report for next week [?] "

It’s probably more a lack of time to think about being polite. Or perhaps a bit of a pecking order to it – do they grovel when they’re asking their seniors to do something?

Might be time. As you say, probably they adopt a different attitude to their boss, so it seems like a form of bullying.

When i used to walk the dog in the morning we passed a guy and i would say good morning/hiya to him, in the ten years and many times this happened i never had an acknowledgement or reply from him.

Can't say it was a problem to me, maybe he was deaf and had poor eyesight.

I was out on an evening road ride around Leamington Spa last week

That's where I reside. I'd have said hello and waved to you if that's any help. Yeah, even though you're a roadie.

I wonder if this is due to multi cultural Britain. We have a wonderfully diverse population from many different backgrounds and cultures where the 'English politeness and manners' is different to their native cultures. This then spreads to those they come into contact with (the opposite also happens) and we end up with some people are polite and have manners through to others that display none of either. It's the modern world, treat others how you would like to be treated and dont worry about others as you wont change them.

My missis told me off for not saying Please to Alexa yesterday morning 🙂 I always say thank you though, but by that time I think she's stopped listening, (Alexa, not my missis, (she never listens to me)).

I was brought up to be polite,I can't help myself,my kids are the same.

I also say "excuse me " when I sneeze,even if there is no one else there 🙂

That made me smile fasthaggis ..I do the same after sneezing ..

I drop the whole Hello, goodbye stuff from work emails and just treat it as a skype chat thread. As long as the work gets done and you're not explicitly rude, I don't see a problem.

Lots of people just state what they want, sometimes whilst talking on the phone or with ear phones in.

Doesn't happen often, but all of my staff are trained to ignore such types until normal manners can be resumed.

🙂

I have recently noticed that customer service in the UK has improved incredibly, people are very nice and  friendly in shops, suppliers at work are all very friendly, it's infections (and I am in West Sussex which in theory is nearly as bad as Surrey). In fact my wife told me off for being patronising for thanking this lady on a work call that was on speaker in the car - lady advised on the procedure and product they offered, pitfalls and technical merits, costs, how to get best value etc. Could not have been more helpful and I told her so. Wife thought I was being weird...

Just keep being nice OP, and be even nicer if you are next in the queue after the grumpy gits, the world will get better an inch at a time.

Argh, Serif font!

I was born in London, have lived in darkest Shropshire for 12 years and Manchester for 15 years, so I've seen the full north/south/rural/city spread of the UK.

I don't think it's a north south thing, I think it's a busy urban thing versus the opposite.  London of course gets stick, and rightly so, but it's because it's the biggest city in Europe not because it's full of southerners.  Manchester city suffers from the same, but not nearly as bad, but small towns and villages do appear far more "friendly".

Vague rambling, but I think you'll get the same reception in a village in Surrey that you would in Lancashire and that it would be roughly the same in, let's say Birmingham, Manchester or Glasgow.

Out of interest, in the Middle East if you say hello to someone you always get a hello back, even in a big sprawling city.  Out in the boonies it's far more reserved, but that's probably a cultural thing....!

While brought up working class in a council house, I was taught to at least behave like a gentleman, mind your manners, say please and thank you, hold doors open for people regardless of gender, etc. It’s only polite to do so, and at 63 I continue to behave like that. I will say loudly “thank you” to the retreating back of anyone who looks down their nose at me for having the gall to do something like hold a door open, often women of a certain age... I usually add “bitch” under my breath, in the accepted British passive/aggressive manner... 😋

The thing that really used to wind me up was when my wife and I, plus our kids and my in-laws, would go out for a pub or restaurant meal. When food or drinks were brought to the table my mother-in-law would never say “please” or “thank you”.

Even when the kids were at their sulkiest and rudest (only with us, naturally...) they were always polite to everyone else - I can remember our daughter telling her grandmother “ Nan, when we were younger you always taught us to be polite and say please and thank you, so why don’t you practice what you preached to us?” The reply was “well, they’re just doing their job and they’re getting paid for it - I can’t be saying thank you to everything”.

It’s not as if she’d had some sort of privileged upbringing - far from it, in fact. Brought up in Wakefield, left school at 14 to go and work in a shirt factory until she got married. And she’s a lovely lady, to be honest. So sometimes it’s just a thing, I suppose.

I get corrected all the time in Greece and told that I’m being too polite - in shops or bars, for example I’ll say “may I have?” or “can I have have?” but Greek friends will often say to me “why are you asking, of course you can - it’s a shop/bar/taverna and you’re the customer and you’re paying them. I always think what harm can it do though?

*edit* I’m pretty much like CountZero ^^^ and I’m a similar sort of age. What made my day recently was when I was in a local hardware shop buying a box of woodscrews and an elderly (like 90+years old) lady said to the assistant “please serve this young man first, he’s only got one item”. But then, I suppose, to her I am. Young, I mean. I insisted that she went ahead of me, if only because she’d called me “young”...

That’s where I reside. I’d have said hello and waved to you if that’s any help. Yeah, even though you’re a roadie.

Oi! I'm not a roadie, I'm a fat bastard who likes to scare people by wearing lycra in public 😀
I'm also an MTB'er if I ever get chance, but other than a few bridleways, railways and towpaths there doesn't seem to be much around Leamington. So, for the sake of fitness, the road bike makes an appearance. When it's long light nights I might make to effort to get up to Cannock a few times.

A simple hello may not be ornate enough for some.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/ng-interactive/2018/apr/14/stephen-collins-on-road-rage-cartoon

This morning at the dentist I was the first customer/victim in & watched as virtually everyone after me followed this same lack of manners; no hiya/good morning/hello, just "Mr X"/"Miss Y" to confirm who they are & then wander off to sit down.

Amazes me that people can't even say 'morning, I'm Mr X, here to see dentist Y at Z o'clock.....'

My Wife used to work in the evenings at a chip shop to earn some more money alongside her full time job.

People she knew or was acquainted with, would fail to recognise her in her uniform & treat her completely differently in the chip shop, compared to the rest of the time when they would see her. She said it was quite an eye opener how rude people could be to a 'lowly girl in a chip shop' compared to 'electronics engineer' in her other job or just when out and about in the street.

It's Brexit innit? We've got to practice hating each other for the glorious day when there are no more foreigners to hate.

There’s a difference between assertive and rude (and passive aggressive too). We were actually told to stop being overly polite in business communications and just ask for stuff.

Not so much omitting please and thankyou, but a lot less phrasing of instructions as questions. Tell someone what to do rather than asking them to do it.

E.g. omit the bit in brackets.” [Can you] write a summary of that report for next week [?] “

To which I’d be tempted to respond, “Have you forgotten the magic word?” Good manners cost nothing, and help the machinery of human interaction run more smoothly; it’s a pity there are those who fail to realise this, and who just come across as rude, arrogant or just plain ignorant.