[Closed] What's the point? Covid related

Dude. I don't know your personal circumstances but in the last six months there have undoubtedly been opportunities to do all the things you mentioned, and I expect in the next six months opportunities will also present themselves. Carpe diem 'n all that. Control what you can, manage your risk and that of your loved ones.

Sounds like you have your physical health and well being and you make no mention of financial challenges so you might look it at from the PoV that the biggest challenge is whats in your head. Sometimes its the hardest challenge though and I'm sure there's plenty on here that can offer advice and it sounds like a good man chat with your mates or a mens mental health charity might be worth it - you do realise this is what being in your fourties is all about yeah 😉

Peace.

It'll be more than 3 months fella...

I'm afraid that you will just have to batten down the hatches and ride it out with the rest of us sensible people. The sight of all of these hammer heads carrying on like it isn't there really gets me down as I've had virtually no contact outside my household, other than work, for 6 months too.

Ride your bike. Do some Airfix kits (works for me). Stay healthy. Vote the *******s out when you get the opportunity.

What’s the point?

Would you rather have all those things if it meant that someone died?

Harry_the_Spider
Full Member
Ride your bike. Do some Airfix kits (works for me). Stay healthy. Vote the *******s out when you get the opportunity.

Wise words indeed 🙂

If you've got your health and your job you're winning Covid. Other stuff will return in good time. Eating out and a pint are great but until the great British public stop mucking about I'm not sure it works. A large percentage of people can't even wear a mask properly so I hold little faith in a return to normal anytime soon.

Hmmm. Not feeling a great deal of sympathy TBH.
You've got a job (well paying one IIRC), you've not caught covid, and by the sounds of it nobody you care deeply about has caught covid (apols if that is incorrect).

I'm in a similar boat to you and my reaction whenever anyone asks I'd something along the lines of:

"Pretty good. There's some pretty shit things happening to lots of people at present (jobs) and some extremely shit things happening to others at present (dead rellies). I am in a lucky position to be as yet unaffected by either, and so I am thankful for my privilege and feel for the people less lucky"

And TBH I'm generally a miserable ungrateful **** so if I can see the positives then surely you can?

( This is where you tell me that your son /hamster/goldfish did indeed die of Covid, in which place I'll feel like a complete heel.

Having watched some of my peers .....some of whom may be on here go from being able to run a sub 3hr marathon to being unable to walk for more than 10 minutes without a hr of 180.....for nearly 6months as a result of getting the lurgy.

I'm quite happy to stay put to not endure that.

Yeah apologies in case you had some loss that you didn't post about because you didn't want to be one of those people who harps on about REAL problems but I've not much sympathy I'm afraid. Very fortunate and happy that I dont know anyone directly who has been hurt as a result of this. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas because of all this and it doesn't look like it'll happen at all until maybe this coming Christmas and even that may not happen. Would be nice to be brave enough to go to a pub to drink or eat but being one of the many many vulnerable I wasn't even prepared to stop at tesco today for a bunch of bananas due to the amount of cars and people.

Suck it up buttercup!

I think this pandemic has made us all a little fragile mentally and indeed I understand the OPs point. How much longer can we go on like this and where is the end point?

Yes others have had it worse - a lot worse but while I have had neither money nor health issues from this it has royally ****ed up my life in all sorts of ways and the uncertainty is very hard for some folk. I am OK with the uncertainty to some extent but MrsTJ is finding that very hard. Some people need certainty and clarity in their lives.

Its also hard to keep on doing the right thing whilst others including our "leaders" do not. Its easy to then say "to heck with it, I shall do what I want as well".

As above - the key is to control the things you can and not to worry about those you cannot - easier said than done. You can also bask in a bit of self righteousness knowing you are part of the solution not part of the problem.

One thing I have done is to have video chats with pals - we set up a virtual pub night where we all sat and drank on our own but in video contact. Also did similar for my family.

There is an end in sight. its just a long way off when we consider vaccines etc.

Living alone, i get all of the above; it sucks. however, if i have 1 bad year out of X number on this planet; knowing i havent contributed to anyones death; cool..
There isn't much choice, as above, control what you can. make the most of your current situation; knowing you're not a muppet and endangering others!

I've come across as a bit of a spoiled brat in that post, and I apologise, today has not been good day.

I've no intention of making anyone feel like crap for any reply so I shall keep my personal and family experiences of Covid off the thread.

I just can't help but feel it's the goal-less, disproportionate response. And that, combined with no clue as to where we're trying to get to (anyone who says "complete elimination" is just being naive) means I really struggle.

Life goes on I guess. Thanks for shaking me out of my shell.

Edit, thanks @tjagain.

I know full well I've had it better than many others (and a whole lot worse than some too), but that still doesn't mean you can't feel crap about the situation.

OP I was starting to feel a lot like you ,but to stop myself falling in to a deep pit of despair,I cheered myself up by booking a Luxury cruise with David Icke, it's got everything.

1/ Bus trip from Scotland to Southampton with the Anti-mask league,stopping on route to tear down some 5G masts.

2/ Southampton to Brisbane cruise,Corona on tap.

3/ High altitude flight from Brisbane  to Africa with the Flat Earth society and finally put to rest this globe shaped planet debate.

4/ Overland through Africa an Europe calling at all the best UFO landing spots.

It's going to be totzamazballs

Can you rename the thread 'The ultimate first world problems thread'..... seriously one for the STW history books.

I'm at the other end of the spectrum. Wife has an autoimmune disorder (most vunerable cattagory)so we have lived seperatly since march as i run a village shop and see around 1000 different people a week. I know of 4 customers who died, multiple redundancys in the area and people who are living on the edge of bankruptcy.....

And yet the op can't visit a national trust site???

The sooner people wake up to the fact that this is potential decade long spell of inconveniences the better.

Depending on where you live you can probably still do some of those things. You might just need to do them outdoors, and stay 2 metres apart.

It sucks, but you are not the only one feeling this way. The kids haven't seen one set of grandparents this year, and between cancer and increasing dementia, may not see them again.

@monkeyboyjc, I'm the OP, I'm sorry about your wife, that's really crap.
I know I've had it easier than most.
But that doesn't mean I can't feel ropey about the whole situation, and it doesn't mean I can't reach out to a forum that has been so supportive of various issues over the year.

Not sure about the lack of sympathy here? It's not a competition to see who's had it worst. If the OP has felt the need to post about it then they aren't doing too well, whether that's backed up by the obvious physical markers (job, health, etc) or not is irrelevant IMO. Lives are complex and everyone deals with things differently, just take a moment to consider the rates of depression and suicide, especially in men (not saying the OP is there, hopefully).

Unfortunately I don't have much advice other than try to remain stoic - just worry about what you can control and live as best you can.

just can’t help but feel it’s the goal-less, disproportionate response

Agreed, I think it's goal-less. I think we're going to end up at the place Bojo started at seven months ago.... Devil take the hindmost.

aka Herd Immunity

Less and less people ( or is it fewer, I forget) are GASing about the precautions and it'll continue that trend until everyone who can get it has got it.

Then the rest will try to get back to normal life with x% of the population dead. Terrifying thought.

Hmmm. Not feeling a great deal of sympathy TBH.

Would you rather have all those things if it meant that someone died?

Except the link between those is extremely tenuous due to mixed messaging, relevance and compliance.
What can I or lunge do vs Hancock waving a hand and instructing hospitals to send Covid positive patients to nursing homes?

My kid goes into school where he is not allowed to wear a mask in lessons and in PE they are instructed to put hands on the person in front.
He comes straight home past the ones in the park meeting friends and sharing a spliff..

So now neither of us can visit grandma...

We did get away for a week, watching those we were meant to be protecting disembark from packed coaches. I had to get fuel yesterday and the Octogenarian gentleman was telling the garage guy "I'll probably pop back later" with a mask round his chin. The guy in the garage was trying to help him and pointed out it was his third time today and he should be wearing a mask not draping it round his chin...

It really seems like whatever I do personally our government can offset a million-fold

Everything comes to an end , even the universe.

Keep on keeping on.
There's going to be an element of entertaining ourselves for a while, the fun, social stuff won't be available.
But, that's doable. The while won't be for ever.
And vuelta soon 😀

At various times during history people have had to live through the plague, Nazis invading their countries and carting them off to death camps,Ghengis Khan and his merry men raping their way across their neighbourhood and annihilating whole cities, epidemics of cholera and typhoid fever, 20% of the population being killed in the Thirty Years War etc etc. These things happened to real people, just like you and me, not to characters in some historical fairy tale.
What I'm trying to say is that these sorts of disasters occur throughout history and if it happens to your generation, you just have to deal with it. Frankly, we've got off quite lightly so far. Could've been Ebola with a 50% death rate. It could've been global temperatures going up by a couple of degrees and making large parts of the globe largely uninhabitable... um no, that's for the next generation.

no indication of when they’ll return

It’s been a damn hard year. We’ll face further restrictions ‘till at best next summer, at worst the following summer… but I’m hoping that dealing with that may become easier for many of us than they have been… especially if we can avoid things getting anywhere near as bad as the initial peak, as regards numbers of people suffering serious illness or worse, and not having to have much of the more onerous restrictions in place for as long as we did this spring. We know enough to avoid making the same mistake twice… and that should reduce the stress for many of us.

@lunge you can feel ropey about it, your not the only one.
But if the only thing you can't do in your post is visit the national trust (you can go for a. Run, vist a pub or restaurant etc) you need to open your eyes to the wider picture. People are loosing livelihoods and loved ones, unfortunately that means i've little sympathy for missing visiting a nat trust site or a holiday.
My advise is to get ready for years, not months, of restrictions.

@imnotverygood spot on. We've had it easy for well over 60yrs, and yet have also been warning ourselves something like this will happen any time soon.

When all this kicked off in March I assumed it was going to be a long term thing. Certainly the rest of this year, probably most of next too. I steeled myself for having almost no social contact with many people for most of that time, potentially losing my job and my whole family getting ill. Christ I even mentally prepared myself for what seemed like the inevitable death of my parents (both highly vulnerable and annoyingly resistant to isolating themselves).

None of these things have happened (yet). I've ridden my bike loads with mates, I still have a job, no one I know has ended up in hospital (although some had nasty cases), none of my family got ill, and I even managed to go on holiday to Spain as planned. Yes I've missed going down the pub with my mates, I've missed going out to eat, and I've missed seeing some family, but these are small sacrifices to avoid the horrific things I imagined at the beginning. So yeah, I can do it all again, and again for as long as it takes. Maybe I won't be so lucky in future, but at least I know it's not inevitable or even likely that the awful things I imagined in March will happen.

There gonna have to release a lot more content on netflix though 🙂

I get where the op is coming from, it does suck at times....
BUT
And it’s a big but,
If foregoing life’s pleasures mean I help protect my 88 year old parents from the bug then it’s a price I’ll pay,
God knows I miss live music, trawling through racks of records, wandering round markets and shops, even crossing fingers I may get a ticket to watch the mighty whites play back in the premier league ( though that ticket was never likely, )
But since March the only folk I’ve visited are my parents,
Went shopping in Leeds only once, and that experience was enough to ensure I don’t go again this year.
At the end of the day my age makes me borderline vulnerable, my parents are very vulnerable,
So I do what I can,
Fingers crossed it’s enough 🤞🤞🤞

The OP has recognised how his post came across. Working at home for 6 months if you don't have much social contact must be tough and the prospect of several months more isn't good. You seem very goal-focused @lunge which I think is probably common in sporty people. I know without a goal to focus on my training doesn't really happen. But you can control your fitness/training etc. You have negligible control on what happens with Covid so the sooner you get your head around that and make the best of each day, the sooner you'll start feeling on top of things. Even at the height of lockdown you could still get out for a ride or a run. I really miss Parkrun but Zwift is a good substitute. Get yourself a goal to celebrate your 40th year and get saving (holiday? new bike?). It'll give you motivation for working and something to plan for. This won't be forever.

It really seems like whatever I do personally our government can offset a million-fold

Indeed - but by doing your bit you DO reduce risk even if only by a tiny amount. Not just the risk to you but more importantly the risk to others

Lunge, I hear you. Everyone's issues are personal to them, and I think the mental health aspect of all this is really extremely difficult.

There is a 'British' approach: stiff upper lip, ignore the pain, carry on.

I'm not sure that is entirely the best approach!

For the first time in my life earlier this year I experienced truly paralysing anxiety. It all worked out OK in the end, but it was quite an experience.

Good on you for vocalising it, let's hope others that feel the same way are able to do so as well.

There will be an out, who knows when it will be.

I share many of your frustrations. FWIW, what I am trying to do is focus on the things I do have some control over and maximising whatever I can within that.

Think thats going to get harder, but its about the only thing I can do!

If people are struggling they are struggling, it's not top trumps FFS.

Even very privileged people (which lets face it is most of us on STW) can have their own difficulties. Yes we should try and keep perspective and realise how lucky we are but it's not always easy.

I feel for the OP, it's not about minor inconveniences, it's about the crushing feeling that after so much shit for everyone, that we might have to do it all again, and maybe what was the point of all that inconvenience, if really it was the seasonal change that drove numbers down.

Personally I lost a FIL, I suffered terribly with stress, I was equally worried about losing my job as wondering if we could keep up with the workload. My wife, on top of grieving was trying to deal with a huge workload and of course we had 2 bored kids at home. We weren't special in that, but that doesn't mean I want to do it again. I'm sure lots of people wonder if they've got the energy to do it all again.

The only solace I can offer is the vaccine IS coming, we might just see some deployment this year for Healthcare workers, and because my Wife will likely be involved in it's deployment I know the sort of effort that will going into it, it will be massive, like nothing in living memory for most of us. Many mountains, moved great distances by many people.

I think we're all feeling a bit shit at the minute - I know I am.

My birthday next week, 30th Wedding Anniversary in Oct, Daughters 18th in December. All plans down the toilet. We'll do something for each, it just won't be the same.

And it's amazing how we miss the things that used to annoy us - I never thought I'd miss jostling at a bar to get a drink!

EDIT

not going to be drawn on this

What’s the point?

The point is trying to stop people getting covid. As an early adopter of it I can confirm it is really awful. I was lucky and came out of hospital. If I was less healthy at the beginning I doubt I would have come out except in a box.

Lockdown in any form is frustrating but it’s a small price to pay. Most of use have been able to find positives out of this, new skills, more family time, less spending money. Try and flip that glass round to bring half full as it sounds like you have got reason to say it is.

Edit: I don’t want to belittle your angst, it’s real, fair and justified. It’s also shared by most people.

Guys - it really does not matter if the OPs fears and anguish feel unreasonable to you - its still real to him

I started a similar thread when this all kicked off asking other healthcare workers how they were feeling as I was struggling. The support and perspective I got from that was immensely helpful

The psychological effects of this hit different people in different ways and we are all vulnerable.

I think part of the OPs issue is that he knows he really has not had it as bad as many but is still struggling - and that then feeds back on itself as " why am I making all this fuss" the pain tho remains real and the guilt of actually not really suffering while feeling that you are is very destructive.

I'm sure we all have hours and days of concerning ourselves about 'the new norm' and what may be around the corner. We are all affected to a lesser or greater extent by this sh*t situation. If we, to date, have not been too negatively impacted, then we may worry that we will be. But then again, we may not. I do not take comfort that others are worse off than me, because others should not in that situation and I feel sh*t that folks are.

I struggle with the bombardment of negativity, indecision and, at times, what feels like a lack of data driven 'what if' decisions...given pandemic planning has - supposedly - been on the go for many years. The political spin and play-offs are wearing. FFS, get properly qualified non-politicised groups globally to work together and show we are working together. The United Kingdom, The United Nations. Aye, right!

Exactly TJ

Its an unpopular opinion, but I kind of agree with you.

I'm well aware that I had a better start in life than 95% of anyone in history, by virtue of being born white british towards the end of the 20th century.

Up until March 2019, I've enjoyed life in a way that is out of reach of many; but that doesn't make it any less upsetting to have it all taken away.

I'm in a similar position to Lunge, and have had similar thoughts.

If we can keep going through another 6 months of varying degrees of shit, the country might start to see the light at the end of the tunnel*.

* any light at the moment is almost certainly a train, keep your head down.

+1 Tj.

OP: I hear you. I think we all have some dark fears at the moment. All of us are feeling the impacts of the pandemic, and we shouldn't be comparing or competing for 'most upset / impacted / affected'.

I do count myself very fortunate in so many ways.
But I have still had some sleepless nights. And will continue to.

I was talking to my dad about COVID. He grew up in WW2, spent the summer of 1940 as a teenager on Croydon golf course by the ack ack guns watching the planes dogfighting above him.

His point was that nobody knew when the war would end, they just had to go on with their lives within the government's rules e.g. rationing, blackout etc. He was lucky, Croydon bombing was random not targeted like the docks but there were still frequent deaths amongst his school friends and neighbours.

We're lucky, there's an end in sight. We don't know exactly when but there's every sign that at least one of the vaccines under development will work and that we'll get better treatments. Perhaps not this year, probably next year.

We're lucky, we can sequence a novel virus in weeks. Before the 90s it took years. We built tests in months that allow us to diagnose the disease accurately. There have been problems rolling out testing but one of the side effects of this pandemic is we will be very much better prepared for the next one. In contrast, through all previous history plagues hit every 30 odd years and there was little anyone could do about them.

It's OK to feel bad. It's normal. I'm scared some of the time, pissed off with the government, worried for the future of my kids as the economy rocks but

"What cannot be cured must be endured" - we'll get through this, try not to worry about things you can't change and if you can't stop worrying don't beat yourself up about that - we've got STW for that!

Agree @tjagain , but sometimes you need to point out that things won't be "back to normal" in months,and that life could be alot worse than our westernised consumerist ways.

Regards vaccines. Say we get one that works in the next year, it'll then need manufacturing and administrating to not just us in the UK, a good proportion of the world, for it to be effective, so potentially a good few years after its initial Eureka moment.

I know everyone if finding it hard, but I wish that people would stop with the "when will it get back to normal" - it wont, learn to live with the now, a new normal will develop.

I’m fascinated to know what the plan/schedule for vaccinating the country/world is going to be.

Would you rather have all those things if it meant that someone died?

That's the kind of hyperbole/false dichotomy that made all the various lockdown threads so unpleasant the first time round.

Can we skip that this time please?

Firstly, monkeyboyjc that's humbling to read and my heart genuinely goes out to you.

My take on all this?

Full time carer for my mother with dementia but she has a pretty good quality of life and though her memory isn't great she is fully aware of the dangers of Covid etc. She's also housebound, a blessing in these times I suppose? Longest I leave home these days is for an afternoon with my partner once a week on a Sunday. I had 2 full days away over summer when I ride the sdw and peddars way. Life Line in use and son/ sister put on call in case of emergency and issued with fiefdoms if they had to come into the house. Ranitidine/masks b windows open etc. I felt guilty as hell indulging in the rides but it was my life line I suppose.

My partner works in an NHS lab and doesn't live with me so.... Irrelevant of lock down easing we haven't even held hands since the sh*t hit the fan all those months ago. Plus all the other stuff that goes with being in a relationship. She doesn't come into the house (no one does apart from me) and I don't go into her house.

That's just one implication of Covid. I've only held my baby grandson once since he was born (just before lock down) and there are many, many other ways my life has had to change.

Now,I could have just gone with the flow and not done any of the above and on probability mum would have been fine. Probably.

This is the problem though, I am the only person that comes into the house. If mum catches it, it WILL be from me. No ifs, no buts. Me.

Of course mum will pass one day as we all do, I know that, but knowing I've "wielded the knife" would utterly destroy me.

My partner and I are now contemplating how we get through autumn/winter. In summer we've been driving (different cars) to local, quiet places and been staying out all afternoon, distanced, then she goes home as do I. Workable in summer, winter? No idea how our relationship will get through the coming months. We both find out extraordinarily hard but she is hugely supportive and understands why it "has" to be this way.

I manage to delude myself sometimes but I'm crumbling to be honest.

However I'm bloody lucky and I know it compared to many, many people out there. Unlike monkeyboyjc I can basically stay in almost total isolation with mum.

I watched what happened in care homes earlier this year in horror.

Tl;dr? Op, I agree, its utterly crap, beyond words really and all I can do is thank you and so many others that have put their lives on hold basically to give my old mum and millions of others a fighting chance though all this.