I stripped the cylinder head off my Discovery.
Shopped in the Co-Op
Pooed in the bath.
Instant coffee.
Fired the butler and shot some peasants.
Made my kids beans on toast and let them eat it with the telly on.
Stood up while I ate some toast.
Quarter pounder with cheese, large fries and a coke. Eat in.
was in essex
greggs for lunch
picked my nose in a traffic jam.
Went to the boxing gym.
Going out for all you can eat later.
farted and blamed the dog
Almost bought a blackberry 😯
Told someone to f*** off directly to their face this morning
went to hebden bridge
Trod on bits of mangled up bread on the kitchen floor and simply swiped them off my sock and brushed them aside. Is that scummy or retro-bohemian?
Admired my neighbour's new car and didn't [i]immediately[/i] question how he could possibly afford it.
the next door neighbour..
Wore a baseball cap and fingerless gloves in public. Old people were running away left, right and centre, they were so fearful I was going to mug them! 😉
Took a hub apart in my bedroom. Read an article on the basics of grease.
Walked for 10 minutes to the shops.
Instant coffee. Going out for a curry tonight.
Ate cereal for lunch
not middle class: went to the Slug & Lettuce for lunch and had fish and chips and used a 50% off voucher
middle class: had a nice bottle of Pinotage with it, and complained about the tartare sauce
Had a bottle of Brown and a pie at the miner's club at dinner time
Packed my bags for my skiing trip to Klosters 
Did my weekly shop at ALDI?
Did my weekly shop at ALDI?
You're joking, you can't move for the middle classes in there these days
gregs bread pupping with an instant coffee
Told the black labourer at work that I was a racist, when he asked me if I was. He didn't expect me to say "of course I am".
Right now I'm drinking tea out of a mug and scratching ma baws.
Pulled a handbrake turn on the ice in a white van.
Right now I'm drinking tea out of a mug and scratching ma baws.
And now I'm off to the other thread to say I felt guilty about it.
Reheated the 2 day old slice of pizza i found for lunch
Cracked open a can of Stella.
A few more and i'll be able to beat the wife up.
Ate a scotch pie in a roll for lunch
A few more and i'll be able to beat the wife up.
Does it give you special powers? The stella that is.
Had morning coffee with the Countess and her land agent.
I just opened a can of Tennants Super to have with my fish and chips.
Bought some Stella from the coop on the way back from a council gym.
Does it give you special powers
Yes it gives me the strength of ten men. GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR.
Took some independent school kids walking in the hills. Nope not that one.
Filled the boot of the car with wood that is now mine.
Yes it gives me the strength of ten men
You [b]are[/b] eight ace and I claim my £10 haddows token.
😆
Had a piss against someone's fence this morning
drunk a cup of tea made in a stained mug by a nurse in the ground floor flat of a schizophrenics dead mum, walked out half way through my tea to answer my old nokia phone with a cracked screen, drove back to work whilst letting said schizphrenic smoke in the car with a cracked windscreen at 50mph on the motorway. eventually got home to find mrsconsequence trying on a £7 dress she bought to wear at a wedding.
Bought two bottles of wine in Kirkcaldy-sur-mer.
Drove to work in my Astra instead of cycling.
I did not go to a trail centre in my audi today.
had a burger king for breakfast, then a hot choclate and a caramel and custard ( yum!) doughnut for lunch. 😀
Can't think of anything.....
Went to Tesco's in my pj's and slippers.
If it's good enough for the lady folk, it's good enough for me 🙂
What a retarded question. Either you are joking or live a very sad life. As this is STW I am not sure which.
We had a graze box come today, does that count?
I bought a Brambles sandwich from the services at Scotch Corner but as I paid with a company credit card and got a VAT receipt I expect this null and void.
Went on Jeremy Kyle.
Ate a huge fry up for lunch with a pint of lager.
wore the same pair of tights that I did yesterday, and vest I've got on I worn for at least the last 2 days.
mingin' LOL
CaptJon - Member
Went on Jeremy Kyle.POSTED 13 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST
we have a winner!
Ate pie chips and mushy peas with gravy.
Drinking beer
CaptJon - Member
Went on Jeremy Kyle.POSTED 13 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST
we have a winner!
Fine, thanks CaptJon
Also went on Jeremy Kyle to explain my infidelity with CaptJon's brother, sister, mum, grandad and barny the dog.
Before CaptJon gets in there, yes the paternity testS were a surprise to me, and the lie detector was wrong.
Despite what you may all think though me and the Donkey are very much in Love.
Had a can of Sapporo. It is lager isn't it?
Actually, ever since I was an impressionable 18 year old a few years ago when it used to be THE drink for all i-D readers I wanted to try it.
Not really worth the wait, but at least if you aim low with your life's ambitions you have a chance of achieving them
Sent someone out for a new truffle slicer.
Just eaten me dinner watching Corrie.
looked after my kids
Still can't think of anything...
Drove over the speed limit.
today i punched a man in the head in the middle of chester 🙂
i had just seen him steal an iphone out of a young lasses hand so when he ran past me i punched him in the face. 🙂
emsz - Member
wore the same pair of tights that I did yesterday, and vest I've got on I worn for at least the last 2 days.
mingin' LOL
I'm sorry I can't seem to find your ad in the classifieds...
Drove a white ford transit
Drank single malt straight from the bottle.
Set fire to some confidential paperwork in the garden.
Had a single malt & put some tonic water in it.
Playing the national lottery.
Bought a £3.65 3 litre bottle of cider, Eridge Vale. My favourite mmmmm.
I shovelled several tons of pig shit
How terribly middle-class to be a pig farmer.
Nice one nonk.
For the record, on my real ale night I am drinking Newcastle Brown Ale.
totalshell - Memberwent to hebden bridge
Hebden's about as middle class as you can get these days.
Did you have your organic skinny latte at the Organic House or Mooch? 😀
If you had a full brekkie at Ken's Kabin Cafe I'll let you off!
Anyway, I had sugar in my tea at luchtime.