[b]A stick[/b].
Sorry but I love bad jokes, you got any?
what's orange and sounds like a parrot?
[i]a carrot[/i]
Whats pink and fluffy.?
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Pink fluff. 🙄
What's brown and sounds like a bell
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Dung!!
A man walks in a bar...
..."ouch!"
a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?"
There once was a man from peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Best joke ever.
What's a foot long and slippery?
A slipper
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
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no eye deer 🙂
a white horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "we've got a drink named after you"
Horse says "I'll have a pint of Eric then"
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
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Still no eye deer!
and for my finale....
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no genitalia?
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still no ****ing eye deer! 😆
I thank you!
Two peanuts walking down the street; one was assaulted.
Two fish in a tank
One turns to the other and says "how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
WONKEY!
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
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Doug
What do you call a man with no spade on his head?
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Douglas
Why shouldn’t you take a pokemon into the bathroom?
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He might Pikachu.
JAM29er - MemberTwo peanuts walking down the street; one was assaulted.
Ah ..... the famous German "Killer Joke" which they foolishly thought would win them the war.
[8.50 minutes in]
In a sign of how much we have progressed, the Geneva Convention now forbids such jokes.
What's pink and hard?
The Financial Times crossword.
2 monkeys in the bath together, one says- "ooh ooh ooh aah aah aah"
the other says- "well put some cold in then"
what do you do if an elephant comes in the room?
start swimming
what is brown and smells of pine?
A poo in a radox bath
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Major car collision on Spaghetti Junction:
12 injured, 4 pasta way.
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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
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Two parrots sitting on a perch.
One turns to the other and says 'can you smell fish'?
[b]Fantastic[/b] thankyou all
- As if I didn't watch it all :lol:(and will again later) Thankyouernie_lynch [8.50 minutes in]
Oh and
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
2.30
an English man Irish man and a Welshman walk into a pub, barman says is this some sort of joke?
what do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasso
What's the first question at the [insert nemesis of local rough area] pub quiz?
What are you ****ing looking at?
what's round & orange?
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an orange
what do you call a man in a paper bag?
Russell
a bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a pint of lager and a................................................................................................packet of crisps please"
Barman replies "why the big pause?"
god i wish i could post the jimmy carr answer to the OP.
instead
Cheese sandwich walks into a bar. Barman says "sorry sir we don't serve food"
Bloke walks into a bar and says "have you got any helicopter crisps?" Barman says "sorry sir we only serve plane"
Blokes walks into a bar with a frog growing out of his head. "my god" says the barman "how did that happen?"
"well" says the frog "it started out as a boil on my arse"
did you hear about the constipated mathematician? he worked it out with a pencil
I've got loads of Volcano jokes to tell but thought I'd let the dust settle first
Two birds sitting on a perch. One says, "Can you smell fish?"
What's brown and rhymes with Dre?
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Snoop.
Police arrested 2 blokes - one for impersonating a firework, the other for impersonating a battery.
they charged one and let the other one off.
whats green and turns red at the push of a button?
frog in a liquidiser
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
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Bob
Anal
Why do girls wear make up and perfume?
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'Cos they're ugly and they smell.
What do you call a man with a pig on his head?
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Hamed
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What do you call a man with 2 pigs on his head?
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Mohammed
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What do you call a man with 2 pigs on his head, standing between 2 buildings?
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Mohammed Ali
Why did the baker have smelly fingers?
Because he kneeded a poo.
What's red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry.
Different answer to the OP's one, i wont write it all out...
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My Beyonce Poster 🙂
what's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's finger
what's worse then a dog chewing your shoe?
an killer whale eating your trainer
what's E.T short for?
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it's because he had little legs
2 men on a bridge above a river......
1st man attaches a Parrot to each arm and shoulder and jumps off! BIG splash, allmost dies but makes it back to the river bank...
2nd man attaches a budgie to each arm and shoulder and jumps off! BIG splash, allmost dies but makes it to the river bank....
1 st man says " dont recon much to this PARROT gliding"....
2nd man says "this BUDGIE jumping is crap as well......
😉 😛
