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Add some durian. Burp/fart dual pronged attack.
THIS, Captainflasheart speaks the wisdom of a worldly man.
See if you can get some.
I like the stuffing suggestion. What about stuffing balls with a stilton centre?
Can't drink lots of ale immediately before work, that's frowned upon.
See if you can get some
I suspect after the next couple of days eating, that's going to be a challenge
Chorizo sausage.....ooofffff!
Curried lentils do the job for me, wash that down with stout and you have a dangerous combo.
You need some dairy in there - a nice tub of yoghurt.
Stuffing is a good one but falafels really do the trick.
I suspect after the next couple of days eating, that's going to be a challenge
She's used to it...
Third, Dried apricots.
They give me super bad wind for hours, however, it's all to easy to chamber a live round towards the end of the 'windy' period.
Ok, Thursday evening's menu:-
Starter - chorizo and pickled onions.
Main - Stilton stuffed stuffing balls with a natural yoghurt dip and a Scotch egg.
Pudding - perhaps some apple tart, because 'apple tart makes you fart' or something.
Doombar.
Pudding : nuts and dates
Great menu , that could be like a theatrical taster menu at Heston Blumenthal's restaurants . Honestly please wash it down with a protein shake , it will set you off a treat .
Friday morning breakfast curried omelette
A big steaming bowl of Grow the **** Up served with a side portion of Moral High Ground 😉
Wash it down with Guinness obviously.
Red onions in some form, they still smell sweet after fermentation. So you'll be smirking when your boss deliberately inhales a lung full wondering what that lovely aroma is.
Cheap tinned frankfurters
OK changing pudding to nuts and dates and will try and [s]steal[/s] borrow a protein shake from an elite firearms colleague.
If my work mate is anything to go by.....liver and onions produces an aroma not to different to that of dogshit-on-shoe
On dried apricots - in moderation. Eat a few the morning before the journey, too many and you will shit your pants.
Onions and garlic. I would get lots of baby onions for a beef stew the night before. Eat with a few Ales. Winner.
For an easy option, I've not seen them for years but we use to buy sulphur tablets. If you find them let me know. Schoolboy giggle inducing facts.
Look no further than Eselgruntfuttocks suggestion back at the start of this thread. I once ate a Beanfeast while camping and honest to goodness, halfway through the following night me and mrs farmer had to spend the rest of night outside the tent sleeping under the stars.
As my grandad used to tell me
A farting horse will never tire,
and a farting man is the one to hire
(he would know having been an itinerant ploughman with teams of horses throughout his youth)
Pudding - perhaps some apple tart, because 'apple tart makes you fart' or something.
It was always Gypsy tart in my neck of the woods.
i heartily support the use of durian, tastes horrid but my god the stench of the burps that will follow for the next 6 hours makes it worthwhile...
For me, nothing makes a bad ass smell like the combination of real ale and eating an entire pack of asda sage and onion cocktail sausages... i once made a stranger retch with the toxic fumes after that night
Baked bean and broccoli omelet, only boil the broccoli for 5 mins then put it in the frying pan with the omelet. Wash down with Guinness.
Do they still make beanfeast!
I used to love that stuff what, 35 years ago.
TO TESCO!
Go for the Haribo Hell Bears
http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/product-reviews/B008JELLCA
Aspargus
then drink a lot of tea
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Broccoli plus real ale for potency, add some good old fashioned cabbage or kale and a nice rich gray for frequency. Risk of follow through increases, as does the chance of having the vehicle stopped by hans blik or whoever it these days who identifies wmd's
Alternatively eat nothing and follow a German wheat beer only diet for three days. I attempted this in Berlin and on the s bahn back to the airport unleashed a cavalcade of air biscuits so rank, that they were tearily described as life changing by one of my former friends
Dried apricots, they're lethal.
Another vote for onion bhajees here - particularly morrisons fresh ones, normally by the cheese counter.
Team them up with a trip to the salad bar for a large salad, with four boiled eggs, spicy chicken pasta and some crispy fried onion bits on top
All of the above with a massive bag of peanuts chaser.
Liquorice and pickled onions, I won a farting competition at work, I managed to make my colleague gag on nights when we did it and apparently the early turn could taste them when the walked in.
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Protein shake , chorizo and cabbage . They go beyond enjoying your own farts to being shocked at yourself that you can produce such a death stench
This. All the other suggestions pale in comparison.
If you really want to outdo your boss and really make him suffer (you too possibly), lots of protein shakes and veg is the way to do it.
Most people quite like sniffing their own farts, but drink enough protein shakes and you will disgust yourself at your own brew.
All you need is a small tub of protein powder from holland and barrett etc.
As long as a fart is bearable for the farter, it is not the very pinnacle of awfulness.
Most people quite like sniffing their own farts
Wat
*Farts*
*Inhales*
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Head and Shoulders, Toothpaste and Shit. Big pieces of shit.
Funny thread.
Prune and sprout smoothy and Tring Ale.
oh and a Tena for man just in case.
The shart coefficient must be pretty high with a lot of those suggestions 🙂
Ok, for me the best formula is as follows.
Skip lunch then stuff your face with whatever crap you find lying around the house. Sauasage rolls, pasties etc etc.
A couple of energy gels
Dinner, a nice curry will work well along with samosas, onion Bhajis.
Washed down with several pints of Marstons Pedigree and 3 or 4 pickled eggs. (I cant believe no one has mentioned pickled eggs!)
"konabunny - Member
Most people quite like sniffing their own farts
Wat "
Farts are like children, you hate other people's and savour your own
Kimchi and chocolate milk.
Whatever the secret ingredient is in the gravy in Jaconelli's chip shop in Mary Hill. The secret ingredient that make it the colour of bournville chocolate, opaque like emulsion paint and makes you fart like chewbakka all next day.
Do they still make beanfeast!
I used to love that stuff what, 35 years ago.
They do but sadly they've changed the recipe fairly recently (for the bolognese one at least, I've not tried any of the others lately). It's nowhere near as nice as the old one.
Out of date energy drink mix thats been sat in the fridge for a week.
Wear an adult nappy.