[Closed] What phrase precedes a bollocking in your house?

"Fine!"

"Can you come here a minute...PLEASE!"

"Remember you said that you would..."

David!

Usually "I need another bike..."

just my name uttered by my wife these days is enough to know what is coming

"It doesn't matter....."

'do what you want'

"I'm home"

any words or the lack of them

'Do what you like'

Its a comment I make that get me into the deep stuff...
She'll crack off on one... I will try to not speak and look as though I am listening....
She'll start going back through the archives that women always fall back on...
Then I usually say.. " thats enough now... shut the fk up" all the oxygen is sucked from the room and boom, bang, boom .. of she goes at full tilt again.... its become a game to me...

"Can I just have a word?"... is what I say to MrFC.

Usually preceeds a diatribe of vast amounts of naughty words about, well, almost anything!!! 😳

8)

I loves him, really, I do!!!

Stay single. Bollockings dont exist.

We need to talk............

(freezes my blood...)

Im jealous of you all actually, i'd love a madame doog to shout at me, but im too much of a bike obssesive!!! I've got a great sense of humour tho............ any takers?? I believe i may have now turned this into a dating agency thread

No idea, never had one in our 11 years. Neither has she.

'You slept with who?'

..preceded a memorable loss of control in the crikey household..

"Stephen", that's all, just my name, never used at any other time.

SB

"just put it down, please, or do you want to go on the step?"

I expect my wife thinks it's fairly subtle but she doesn't realise I figured it out about 8 years ago. She'll mention my mum or my sister in a bad light which means within the next ten minutes she's going to be fired up for an argument. Normally I find an excuse to get out of the house when she does this nowadays, I'm a bit old and we've been together for too long to be having petty squabbles. I've never actually done anything wrong, it's just she wants an argument.

"i know you will do what you want" followed by silence

i then "know what i want" is no longer an option!

In our house if someone uses your fullname, as in first name, second name. the youre in trouble.

it applies to the dogs too.

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Did you remember to...buy tea/ring the doctor/collect the children/fix whatever (delete as applicable) invariably the answer being 'ah bollocks sorry'

When my kennel name is used - as in whole name inc. middle initial !

She'll mention my mum or my sister in a bad light which means within the next ten minutes she's going to be fired up for an argument.

lol!

I've just worked that one out too 🙂

In a similar vein to Harry_the_Spider, anything beginning "Next time, ..." means "shut down earholes for ten minutes and at least *try* to look contrite"

I saw what you googled last time you were on the p.c.....

I love to see my husbands face after that one.

another vote for "fine". funny enough my ex wife used the same.Another one is " I thought you got lost"

'Welcome To Britain' - me commenting on some awful piece of news that's just happened sends MrsJulianA into one...

So called friends asking 'so when are you two going to tie the knot?'

What did I just say?

It's not the phrase.

It's the tone of voice.... 😀

Nothing - just ice cold stony silence.

My name. Boss does it too.

"Um, Richard ... "

I never call him Richard so he know's that's a bad sign!

I'm a good boy.. I never ever ever get a bollocking! 😉

You said you were only going out for a couple of hours....

"what have you done with all the batteries"

"you and that bl00dy game"

(Call of Duty 5)

Apparently she doesn't like the hunched, unmoving figure with a thousand yard stare, selective deafness and a mouth like a sewer berating juggernoobs and people with shit connections.

ho hum.

"You've had a spliff, haven't you?"

LoulaBella - Member

I saw what you googled last time you were on the p.c.....

I love to see my husbands face after that one.

That's why I use firefox! 🙂

'have you got a minute'

Oh God, I'm doomed!

What always guarantees a bollocking for Rusty Spanner is when he says 'Well I can see where you've gone wrong!' He only does it to wind me up and it ......well works!

Another one is when he refers to me as MS Spanner!!

Oh mais c'est pas vrai (Arg this is not true) usulaly followed from me by
Qu'est ce que j'ai fait ENCORE (what have I done again)...

Yes dear. Sorry dear.

I can see where you went wrong there though, Should have been Ms Spanner, not MS Spanner in your last post.
You could always consult a teacher if you're having problems with grammar. Oh, hang on..... 😀

Nothing but peace and love in the Ralli household 😀