muslins? those bits of cloth? why?
Read the book by Gina Ford, think I'm not going into that "every 15mins regimented lark" and then use it as a guide to get the baby sleeping through the night except when you wake her up to feed her (and the weening one is very good too). Worked a treat and meant if the baby was crying it was due to a soiled nappy or she was ill (and not tired/hungry) took loads of guess work out of being a parent and meant we could travel loads.
You pretty much have the minimum.
microwave bottle steraliser jobbie.
babywipes.
inflatable baby bath.
vasaline/sudocream/bepenthan/oilatum.
blackout blinds and comfy chair in nursery.
those grow bags are ace, can't rate them highly enough.
those grow bags are ace, can't rate them highly enough.
Very much agreed - have spares for when they gip up everywhere though. Ebay and TK Maxx both have them much cheaper then list price. If you have a small newborn, be sure to use the ones with the extra poppers on the side so they can't slide down inside the bag.
Muslins - pretty much essential I would say.
Wow! Thanks guys! Tons of great info and advice here!
Its a bit daunting, but I like having all the info up front and it's really encouraging to find that so many people are so willing to pass things down or sell stuff cheap.
Just for those who don't seem to realise - I'm the Mum! Not the Dad - I know it's rare for STW, but there are a few of us! Not to worry though Mr. MM will be made to read this entire thread and especially the bit about buying the Mrs presents!
Aracer - thanks for putting an end to the great bath debate - it was getting a bit catty, wasn't it! 😉 Oh and please thank your wife for the advice.
FWIW - I'm definitely up for trying breast feeding and really hope it works out for us, but appreciate the advice of not being pressured by the Midwife - my friends have said the same and it's awful how some of them were made to feel like they'd 'failed'. Makes me cross.
I feel like I want to reply to each persons comments and say thanks, etc. but there are sooo many - so please just know that I've read them all (and will probably read most of them over several times again) and do really appreciate all the advice and personal experience you've shared. I know I can read books - but nothing beats good honest opinion from folk who have been there.
Anyway, I'm waffling now - just wanted to say thanks really...
If you can get them still, those finger size sample packs of Sudocrem, great for keeping in the car, or with you while you are out.
those finger size sample packs of Sudocrem,
The Bounty packs have them in - it lasts forever that stuff!
And when you are at your lowest ebb in the middle of the night just remind yourself of how wonderful he/she is and how much brighter things will feel in the morning.
Ohh, and if you have the space, make a little workstation in the nursery so you don't have to go up and down stairs during the night. We had a little beer fridge which we used to keep bottles cool and took up all the bottles/powder/hot water/wipes etc we needed for the night feeds.
If you are breastfeeding spend the extra on an electic pump - my wife got the Modela Twin (does both at the same time) so halves time needed and can be had for around £75. We then sold ours for £60 on Ebay when we were finished. In an emergency once we had to buy a hand-pump and it really was utter rubbish - in itself it would have been enough for my wife to give up on breast-feeding/expressing if it was the only option.
One thing I would absolutely recommend is to find out when the NCT nearly new sales are in your area. I've been to 2 and picked up pretty much everything we needed for the first 6 months for under £100. Also, Freecycle is great for this sort of thing. You post what you want and let the offers come to you!
With respect to bed linen and sick - we just stretched a muslin across the cot where Junior's head was and this meant if he was sick all we had to do was replace the muslin, not all the sheets.
We started using a steamer for sterilising but have found using a tub filled with milton solution much easier.
All the comments about breastfeeding are spot on - I think you'll know very quickly if it's not for you.
If the little'un has a cold, we put a couple of drops of Olbas oil on a flannel and put it over the radiator which saves on the plug-in vapourisers.
If you're near an Ikea some of the stuff in there is quite cheap.
We use an old courier bag for everything as it's good for access if you've only got one free hand.
Lots of good suggestions above....
Ignore advice and do what works for you. (Within reason.)
Things we never bothered with: microwave, sterilising absolutely everything, books recommending hyper-set routines.
Things we found really useful: breastfeeding, Nature Boy/Girl nappies (way less rash issues with these), a sacrificial hoodie that I wore over my work clothes, adjustable baby seat.
The tub with Milton (or cheap alternatives) is a good idea and especially good if you are expressing as all the bulky bits take up lots of space.
If you end up just bottle feeding (as we are doing now we are weaning ours two) a microwave one is great as you can take it with you anywhere you go much more easily than a heavy plug-in one.
Whatever you do though, choose a system and stick to it - the steriliser will be designed to take the corresponding bottle etc so it just works together that bit more easily.
We also use thermal bags to keep milk at the right temperature so we can mix it up all ready then bath the girls and give them their milk straight away. Also good for when you are out and about.
Things we never bothered with: microwave, sterilising absolutely everything,
It is the things that come into contact with milk that have to be cleaned - the baby doesn't have the ability to cope with the bacteria that can quickly develop in milk until they are about 6 months old.
It is the things that come into contact with milk that have to be cleaned - the baby doesn't have the ability to cope with the bacteria that can quickly develop in milk until they are about 6 months old.
We very rarely used bottles at all, especially in the first 6 months.
Fair enough - just pointing out what items need particular attention with the sterilising and why. If breastfeeding it goes without saying that it isn't relevant.
Our three were breast fed (not by me I hasten to add as I am their father) and if you think about it it is actually the easiest way of doing it, if it works out for you, that is. You have a ready supply of milk on tap, as it were, at exactly the right temperature and consistency (it also makes nappy changing a little more pleasant :wink:)
Some things that made the first few weeks easier...
Love film subscription
Sky Plus
Marks and Spencer dine in for £10 deals
A bouncy chair
A job lot of baby grows from Tesco.
Gina Ford for the general principles, but don't let it get under your skin and don't let her think you are failing your baby if you don't stick to her daft and impossible regime! There is a book called 'the first year', which was brilliant.
Microwave- check. We've never owned one.
We don't even have a TV (could explain why I'm here all the time!), maybe I'll look into it though. We do at least have a love film subscription and a computer to watch DVDs on...
can i recommend a new bottom lip to bite through after your in-laws come for 5 days over christmas, sit on their fat arses, expect to be waited on hand and foot, do sod all then take home the 6 bottles of wine they brought having drunk all yours.
Our first born was 3.5 months old at Christmas having been born 3 months premature and been home for 3 weeks. The peak of my pissed-off-ness was when father-in-law was making a brew for his missus on day 4 and didn't think to even offer me one as I came into the kitchen after being up most of the night with his grand-daughter. a minor point in isolation but in this instance the final straw. His other daughter was requested to bring desert for Christmas dinner (arranged round her need to leave at 2:30 to swap the kids with her idiot ex-husband) and rolled up with a christmas pud with a sell-by date of May 2007
Still seething
Yardley_Hastings - Ive already put a stop to that ready for next Xmas. Another step is I do all the cooking as my missus (bless) trys too hard and really stresses out with the cooking. Whereas mine wont be as tasty but it will be ontime and painless!
Something works well is that for the first week or two my wife has a circle of friends that brought us meals so we didn't have to cook and she's contributed to them when they've had kids since.
Be prepared that everything will take at least twice as long as it did before (even getting dressed before lunch can be counted as a success).
Get sleep when you can and be prepared for the hormones to be all over the place on the 3rd day
Everyone will give advice - but just do what works best for you.
If people come round - get them to make their own drinks etc - also tell them to bugger off when you've had enough of them.
Get involved with some Mums and Toddler groups - they tend to be pretty helpful + loads of people in similar situations.
by the way, hope it goes well.
babies are hard work but hugely rewarding, even when cleaning pooh from between their shoulder blades like I was last night, no idea how she managed that
we had nearly 10 weeks of getting used to the idea before we could bring her home, still a bit of a shock when your walk through your door with an extra mouth to feed and no instructions
You do get instructions.
mine came with big books (free), "ready steady baby" and in England it was "birth to five" - pretty much everything you'll ever need to know is in them.
If breastfeeding, you'll need loads of breast pads and milk collector for the other side when feeding. This means you can collect some milk, freeze it and leave it for someone else to feed baby with when you feel you can go out for a few hours. Oh, and a breast pump comes in very useful!
Also a book by Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child, it's a common sense bible
[i]microwave bottle steraliser jobbie.
babywipes.
inflatable baby bath.
vasaline/sudocream/bepenthan/oilatum.
blackout blinds and comfy chair in nursery.
those grow bags are ace, can't rate them highly enough. [/i]
that's about it in our experience too - other than the inflatable baby bath, which is a non-essential.
You don't need around 95% of the crap they try to convince you that you need.
I'd even hang off on the pump/pads business until you find out if your mrs is a gusher or not...
Another vote for the Nature Boy nappies - our son had bad eczma, and these were the best to cope with it, along with a swaddling blanket, which seems very old fashioned but works a treat if you have a 'wriggler' 🙂
So lets have all your baby pics then (I'll start)...
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Oh on the breast feeding thing.
My missus developed a cyst and couldn't breast feed (She couldn't count to 2 at one point and didn't realise that she was wearing her glasses... fun times).
Anyhow's it's amazing how much the midwife's tune changed when it became apparent that there was going to be no breast feeding for the nipper for the forseeable future. She couldn't have been more helpful with which types of powerdered milk and bottles etc, which is where the bottle steralizer come into it's own.
We read all the bumph in waiting rooms, and were keen to give it a go, but me and my 3 siblings were all bottle fed as were the the missus and her 2 siblings and all 7 are healthy as.
Mini-clubber at about two weeks old ( he's 18 months now) in his first cycling jersey 🙂
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Breast feeding's a funny old thing. As are most midwives.
- Stockpile frozen meals in the run up to the birth.
- AngelCare AC401 monitor, it has a breathing sensor so you dont have to keep checking. 2months in and no false alarms so far.
- A really good breast pump, we have a Ameda Lactaline double pump which the NCT have on sale at the moment. Forget tommee tippee, they are crap.
- Triple the number of towels and sheets you have.
- Book 3 months off work.
Here's Thomas at about six weeks 😀
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If you're breastfeeding a breastfeeding pillow is a godsend, went away for xmas without mine, and I realised how much I used it.
If you decide to go the reusable nappy route get a few to try second hand, I got a load of kushies off freecycle, but due to a baby with skinny legs they just leak constantly, have tried them at different stages as she's gotten bigger, but have now given up on them.
Something else you might need...
A brush to push the poo through the plughole of your bath when your little angel decides that a nappy isn't acceptable and it is much more enjoyable to dump in the bath.
I used my finger to perform that task last night 🙂
Only had to do that once luckily. He does think it's funny to pee in the bath as soon as his feet touch the water though...
A brush to push the poo through the plughole of your bath when your little angel decides that a nappy isn't acceptable and it is much more enjoyable to dump in the bath
A shower with an adjustable stream works for this too; it breaks it up nicely.
Only had to do that once luckily. He does think it's funny to pee in the bath as soon as his feet touch the water though...
He's right. That is funny.
A shower with an adjustable stream works for this too; it breaks it up nicely.
Ours is a fixed head shower and it wasn't nearly powerful enough to break this particular monster up.
Right enough - I have to stiffle a laugh every time 🙂
Big/solid ones got picked out and dropped in the toilet.
Big/solid ones got picked out and dropped in the toilet.
Yeah I was thinking about that - then decided the finger push was the better option.
I wonder if the tool used to perform such an function would be a Pooh Stick?
handle end of a toothbrush is the perfect size.
Just to avoid any doubt - bin the toothbrush afterwards (I have a variety of old toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet for various cleaning tasks)
Will try to remember that for the next time it happens - I was thinking on my feet as we tried to get her sister out of the bath, clean her, empty the bath, refill it with her still in it without getting it too hot, cleaning her again.
Ohh fun!
nct membership / sales
get as much as possible 2nd hand / from mates
and other than immediate stuff , wait and see what yuo need, rather than buying tons of crap you don't use.
Another top tip - make sure you have a hospital bag and all the real essentials ready well in advance of your DD. They can have a knack of surprising you with sudden appearances.
When i have trouble breaking them up at work, i find a length of 2x1 batten does the job, ...oh, we're talking about kids.
"He does think it's funny to pee in the bath as soon as his feet touch the water though... "
Mine too. Then he fills a cup with bath water and gives it to me to drink...
Must have: Baby monitors with battery option. Allows you to relax when the baby is sleeping upstairs or outside in the pram.
As mentioned a while back - we too have the AngelCare heartbeat monitors. They work really well and we have only had a couple of false alarms (when they roll to the far end of the cot) but we are used to that now. They also have all the functions of a decent top-end standard monitor (temperature alarms, talk-back, temperature monitor etc).
I wasn't sure about the need for them, but they make my wife able to relax and sit down on an evening and sleep soundly too as she isn't up and down every ten minutes checking them. I know they aren't for everyone, but if you are considering one they *do* work.
Our nipper is 10 months old now. Things which we found of use in the early days:
Infacol for colic - lots of it
Zinc and Castor oil creme for nappy rash
New washing machine and separate tumble drier
Growbags, as mentioned above, mega useful and not kick-offable like a blanket
Baby monitor with a temperature sensor on it. Dressing your baby for the right temperature is important.
The cot we purchased turned out to be a bit of a disaster. We opted for one one of those uber expensive [url= http://www.stokke-nursery.com/en-gb/stokke-sleepi-crib.aspx ]Stokke[/url] cots which can be expanded over time, from mini cot to regular sized cot and up to a bed when your child is old enough. Sounds like a great idea.
However, they do not have drop down sides and you can't get your feet under the cot when lowering junior down in to it. Mrs B is quite short and the Beamlet is quite heavy. All of these factors have resulted in Mrs B having a knackered back.
So, get a cot with drop down sides.
People have mentioned that Gina Ford book. We read it before the Beamlet arrived - unfortunately she didn't read it in the womb. We persevered for a week or so but it was causing all three of us so much stress trying to stick to the routines we gave up.
Thankfully the Beamlet is sleeping (most nights) from 2230 through to 0700 and when she is awake she is always happy and smiling and enjoying life. I don't know if this would be the case if we had stuck to Gina Ford's draconian techniques which would have smashed the will to live out of all 3 of us.
Mrs B and I look like was have aged dramatically in the last 10 months though.
Infacol for colic - lots of it
Zinc and Castor oil creme for nappy rash
New washing machine and separate tumble drier
Growbags, as mentioned above, mega useful and not kick-offable like a blanket
Baby monitor with a temperature sensor on it. Dressing your baby for the right temperature is important.
That's almost a list of things we didn't bother with 🙂
Yup - I guess every baby is different.
Thankfully the Beamlet is sleeping (most nights) from 2230 through to 0700
At ten months? You should get her back into a routine then - she *should* be sleeping 11 or 12 hours unbroken at that age if no other factors (illness/teething etc) are involved.
But as beamers has just said... [i]I guess every baby is different.[/i]
can i jump in....
ours is due in june fingers crossed june 6th, i have 2 weeks parternity booked but dont know wether to book 2 more weeks off making a month.
mate suggested just take the 2 weeks paternity to start with as the baby will be sleeping most of the time and you'll be hanging round, leave the extra leave for later on when its a bit older.
I would take the extra time off - by the time things are much different you will be in another holiday year.
Two weeks is more than enough, you'll be glad to get back to work for a rest. 🙂 p.s. my second is due in 3 weeks...yikes!
you'll be glad to get back to work for a rest.
There is that 🙂
oh, forgot to say, a shotgun is also handy; incase anyone tells you that Gina 'no kids of her own' Ford knows how to look after your baby. I rank her up there with Noel Edmonds in the evil person charts!
just accept the bizarre sleep patterns and it won't kill you. mrslister breastfed both of ours on demand until they self weaned, they are now 18 months and 3.5 years and both sleep 7 till 7.
The bad days and nights were only for a few months, which is nothing when we look back.
this thread is a fantastic contraceptive device
this thread is a fantastic contraceptive device
Just to get you back on track then...
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At ten months? You should get her back into a routine then - she *should* be sleeping 11 or 12 hours unbroken at that age if no other factors (illness/teething etc) are involved.
Ours didn't. Like you say, they're all different.
Our six-year-old is still reading at 9:30 each night.
Get all your best t shirts and tops and put them away with some mothballs, get y'self off to primark or similar and stock up on cheap shirts etc. that you don't care about, everything will get covered in sick, saliva, food, occasionally poo etc etc.
Don't ever wear white, camo's great, hides a multitude of sins!!!
thanks M_F, I'm now ready to start breeding again, can you send her round?
can you send her round?
Sure, when I am finished with her.
That will be in about 30 seconds then...
Unless you wife is a complete mentalist encourage her to go with her instincts.
No one will know\understand your nipper like her mum, and we had a crap load of dodgy advice from midwifes etc which jusdt didn't work for us. 2nd time round the wife was happy just taking their advise onboard, and then making her own decision, rather than letting them make the decisions for her.
Oh and if you live close to the inlaws, make a special effort with them, their help can be priceless during the first months\year
To add to the above:
An ironing-board height changing-stand will save your back, but isn't essential.
A dummy.
Assuming bottle feeding:
+1 (or 2, 3, whatever) a microwave steriliser
one of these: [img] 
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... you prefill it with the milk powder dosage while you're still awake, then when you're making a bottle half-asleep at 4am you don't get the quantities wrong... Also useful out of the house.
Top tip: a hungry baby doesn't care if the milk is warm or not. Which means you can prefill the bottles before going to bed, and it's one less thing to worry about at night.
Regarding the pre-fill powder jars - Tommee Tippee have a really clever system (especially for when you are out and about). The little pot holds the powder but then sits inside the pre-filled (with water) bottle. The arrangement of lid etc means the water can't get to the powder but it is dead easy to unscrew the bottle, pull the pot out and pour in the powder. My wife uses them all the time when out and about.
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Things we've really appeciated having:
- baby bath - less water, easier to reach baby, easier to hold baby
- Changing table - cupboard underneath for all of the spare nappies, wipes etc (so you can buy in bulk when the offers are on), a single drawer at the top of the unit so all of the things you need to hand are easy to reach (we used drawer dividers from Ikea to create space for nappies, wipes, kids scissors etc. This also has a top where you can lay the baby and change them. You'll be changing them lots every day and to be able to do it without bending is great.
- We also got a small storage thing thats designed for bathrooms, pantries etc that has 3 shelves and which sits to the side of the changing table. This has water, creams etc on it and therefore readily to hand. Basically, you will be repeating several "processes" very often - get organised for them
- A dummy that is for dispensing medicine. Brilliant bit of kit. Fill the syringe part of the dummy with the liquid medicine, pop into their mouth, squeeze the plunger and the teat has a small tube in it so the medicine is "injected" into their mouth. Buy one!
- a swinging seat thing. Get something that you can put a new born in for a little while to prep food, do some chores for 30 mins or so, but where they can see you. We got ours from ebay
- later on, the large bibs from Ikea are great - covering sleeves as well.
- baby shoosh "toy". Brilliant. Buy one. A small toy that makes a fairly odd little song sort of sound. However, its invented by some Japanese scientist sort of guys and it's all the right sounds to stop a baby crying. Worth every single penny.
smurf
Congratulations!
Get a video camera
Your about to enter a time vortex
1st your wiping there arse at ungodly hours
next you wiping tears away and putting plasters on skinned knees
then you wiping the smile off their boyfriends faces
You then be able to watch it at your leisure
Appologies if these are already up there but there's far too many to go though. My top tip is don't buy a fancy high chair when the time comes to buy one. We did and when our son vommited all over himself, his highchair, and the carpet (which your child will do too while they're learnig to chew and swallow), the clean up operation took about 40 minutes because I had to take all those fancy harnesses and cushions off the high chair to get the little bits of puke out of all the nooks and crannies. Trust me, if you miss any the room will stink the next day.
The solution: Go to IKEA and buy a Antilop high chair with tray. They're less than £15 (from memory) and they take exactly one and a half minutes to hose down in the back garden.
While you're there, buy a pvc sheet to put under it. They come in all sorts of funky patterns and it's significantly quicker to hose this down in the back garden than it is to wipe, clean and Anti-bac your carpet.
One other thing, enjoy all your rides and sleep in's until your child is born. You're really going to miss them. Until they smile at you. 🙂
VC
Congrats Mrs and Mr Mountainmonkey.
My top tips are:
The book: What to expect... The 1st year. Excellent for help during those hard times.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Everyone who has ever had a child will want to help you
And
When your friends and family call round in those 1st few weeks, get them doing stuff, like washing up, hanging up the washing, cleaning, even cuddling baby whilst you rest! This might seem harsh now, but just wait til you had the little one, you'll see what I mean.
On a personal note, If you're thinking of having a 2nd child, have it soon after the first. My kids are 2 years apart at 3 and 5 and are real soulmates and entertain each other. This also helps you move on with your life when they start school.
You have my best wishes for the future and I look forward to reading your updates after the birth.
Enjoy...... 😉
+1 everything Sonic said, what a clever hedgehog 😉
book, visitors and second little un', all nail on the head, wish i was as eloquent!
THANK YOU!
Hi everyone,
Sorry for the delay in responding - I've only just read through all of this again, but want to say a massive thank you!
This thread is like a font of great wisdom... but with cute pictures and funny stories about poo and baths! (and a little sexist comment to remind me it is STW after all) 😆
Seriously though, there's some fantastic advice here and I really appreciate you all taking the time to write it all out for me - I'll certainly be mulling it over as we work our way through it all for ourselves.
I have to say, I'm incredibly lucky to have such an awesome husband who's really supportive and wonderful friends who have already offered do a meal rota for the first week or so and help out in all kinds of ways when mini monkey is born.
And I'm sure it'll be great to be able to still come on here and escape a bit - while also knowing there are lots of people who have been there and done that to ask for advice, if needed...
Thanks again everyone! MM x
I'd recommend a weight-weenie racing bike complete with plenty of bottle holders. 🙂
Yeah man! 😀