[Closed] What are the benefits of a private education?

I had similar, I was expelled after 2.5 years.

Youth, really is sometimes wasted on the young. I didn't appreciate it one bit.

I think it varies massively between different schools. Some of the proper old school ones and you are in With the old boys network / know people and families that have connections but this really only the top few schools and not most of the private schools despite what people will say.

Most average fee paying schools I would say it's smaller class size, opportunity to try different non academic activities, good level of extra support if you have dyslexia etc good facility for sports and design tech and subjects like that which requires high capital investment. I think there are plenty of state schools that are easily as good as most these average private schools but you have the luck of the draw as if the local state school is any good.

My kids will not / are not going to private school but that's because I can't afford it. However if I could afford it, that would not necessarily mean they would go to a private school, it would depend on the schools (both private and state) locally. (I am not talking about boarding here that's a different subject)

Look at the record of the school - although not subject to the same Ofsted scoring, they do have similar things in place. Our local fee-paying school has lower grades across the board than the state-funded school our girls go to. Don’t just assume that it will be better because it is paid-for education.

The children's peers. Children at a private school are likely to make friendships with children of wealthy, influential and perhaps powerful people.

Compared to a (in my day) comprehensive where your peers are more likely to have regular low to medium paid jobs with little influence or connections.

Obviously this is a generalisation and there is always exceptions (I know a privately educated part time teacher and a state school educated consultant doctor).

But the general rule is even an absolute baffoon can get a plum job like running the country if they're privately educated and well connected.

Congratulations to your daughter.

Would you like an education that is costing £4k per year or £12k? Of course there are economies of scale, but when the headline figure is 3x more per pupil, that must be buying something other than profit margin. You've already alluded to much of it. What really matters is where her friends are going though.

I had a scholarship to a private school, but went to the local Grammar (last year before it turned comprehensive) school instead. Largely for rather traumatic personal reasons.

Our 16 year old son has just transferred to a private school for his last 2 years (I got a new job which made it possible). Our 14 year old is still at the state school the 16 year old was at until this summer.

My impression is that the academic level isn't all that different between the two schools (in the sense that he was already doing well at the state school), but the environment at the private school is much much better for our 16 year old. He's very academic and probably somewhere on the spectrum and he just seems to fit in better in that environment. He's definitely enjoying school in a way he didn't seem to be before. He seems a lot more confident, and for my money this is really the fundamental difference. Good private schools instil confidence in kids that state schools seem to struggle to do. I wish I had sent him sooner, but I couldn't afford it at the time.

As always, YMMV.

Depends very much on the kid and the school .  Remembering education is about more than exam results.  going to a true comp taught me a lot more about wider aspects of life by befriending folk from very different backgrounds.

Have a read of Chris Hoy's autobiography. It gives a great insight into sending a kid from a regular working class background to a private school.

His parents sacrificed a lot and worked crazy hours to find his and his sisters education.

Gross generalisation: not having to share a classroom and the teacher’s time with kids who have massive social problems that need managing instead of just learning the subject.

But the general rule is even an absolute baffoon can get a plum job like running the country if they’re privately educated and well connected.

This is just not true I am afraid, a select few a schools open up this world but only a few schools and you will still need to be competent to get anywhere. It still can allow people to take up jobs for which there probably not up to at the entry level and block other more competent people.

I obviously know who you are referring to (not a fan personally) but don't want to derail the ops thread.

I've had both state and private education (and went to more than then average number of schools thanks to being from a forces family). I'd say there are two main differences. Greater resources and facilities in private schools (libraries, theatres, workshops, sports facilities etc). And, more significantly, a far stronger and more competitive culture around learning and educational attainment. I don't if this was down to the attitude of teachers affecting pupils or whatever but in the state schools I went to it was a point of pride to be seen not to be learning whereas in the private schools it was a point of pride to do well academically. Either way, it boiled down to private school pupils having more opportunities and also taking advantage of them. By the time I got to university it was very obvious which students had had private or state educations in how mature they were and able to look after themselves. Just my experience. (I didn't go to a grammar school but to me they seem like the best of both worlds but I'm sure you'll hear some dissenting opinions.)

Depends very much on the kid and the school . Remembering education is about more than exam results. going to a true comp taught me a lot more about wider aspects of life by befriending folk from very different backgrounds.

This is very true. If you decide with her that she goes make sure she doesn't exist in that enclave.

Not to pry, but have you done all the sums when deciding you can afford it?

Lots of extras on uniform, trips, keeping up with new friends etc. etc.

It'll be a fair old chunk on top.

Latin?

Dont just think a private education is for Alpha males and females. A lot of people think that.

We have twin 11 years old boys, one is going to a specialist school for ADHD, ASD for high functioning specific. The other who suffers from being in a house with the rest of us suffers with being a bit anxious, what we notices was in lockdown #2 he was allowed back to school and in smaller classrooms he flourished. I really hates the noise and chaos of 32 kids in a classroom.

Sooo we have hunted down local private schools where they are just nice. Lots of sport, art, drama and tech, small classroom and extra help emotionally if needed. He cant wait.

I think its the sort of school any of use couldnt help do better than most of us did in school. Well defo for me

Well done to your daughter. Agree with most of the above in that it depends on the school but on balance my impression is that private is better. I went to state schools, as do my kids, if I could afford to send them private I would in a heartbeat. Smaller classes, better facilities, more relaxed staff, etc etc.

Of my friends, about half were privately educated. We are all similar but those that were privately educated have largely been more successful, not because they were taught how to pass more exams but because they had a confidence at 20 that it took me another 20 years to develop. I firmly believe that private schools produce more rounded individuals and give them a better start in life.

OK its decades ago but the comp I went to had far better facilities than any of the fee paying schools and certainly produced more rounded individuals

this is why I say down to the kids and the school

I was offered to go to Hutchesons at 14.  I refused because the hutchie kids were basically dicks and the school didn't have half the facilities of good old Hillpark.

Perhaps an outlier but do not believe private always equals better facilities

I turned down a full scholarship at 11, and have never regretted it one bit. I suppose it always depends on which schools you are comparing. I was in an area with no grammar schools, no 11 plus, just fully comp schools trying to teach everyone. You learn a lot in that environment that you could never learn in a public school with a mix of “talented” and privileged kids. If your kid is smart enough to get even a partial scholarship, they will excel academically at any school. What else do you want them to experience during their school years…? That’s the big question you have to answer. Well, the second question after “how shit is the alternative”… all down to the schools you have as options.

An ex colleague’s in laws sent their kids to a private school. He said the main difference was the conversation at parents evening.

State school
Teach: little Johnny isn’t working hard & his grades are low.
Ma&Pa (to teach) what can we do to help him?
(to Johnny) pull your socks/work harder or they’ll be no pudding.

Fee school
Teach: little Johnny isn’t working hard & his grades are low.
Ma&Pa (to teach) what are you going to do about it? We’re paying for you to teach. If he’s not working hard/getting grades your need to sort it out.

I received a scholarship to boarding school. (Single parent working class Mum).

For me it was access to opportunities to learn a far greater variety of subjects and access to sports and extra curricular experiences I wouldn't have got anywhere near otherwise.

Just looking round schools now for my own two and it makes me sad the opportunities I had that I will never be able to offer them.

Sooo we have hunted down local private schools where they are just nice.

Says it all really...

forces background too, so a new school most years, including a stint overseas. did final year of GCSE and a levels in a private school.

I would say definitely contacts to get started in life. if you fit in. coming from outside into a clique which had been together since first school was very tough. I didn't gel well with being told to clean prefects shoes for instance and ended up in alot of scraps. fortunately moving school alot means you get that quite a bit, so used to it.

found it hard as the poor kid, only one without a car at 17.

I really liked competitive nature of it, and did really well academical to beat others. but I kind of lost my way at university when i realised no one else really gave a crap if you can first or last in a test!

most of my friends have done well for themselves, but that is more from the confidence to take risks, as they know they have family backup.

fees for our local private are huge, I'm happy with the primary my boys are at. I'll see about secondary.

Privately educated and agree totally with @tonyd. Teaching standards are high, instills self belief and you are pushed to achieve your full potential.

It’s true to say most pupils come from privileged background but my school did offer scholarships as well. I’ve got friends from less well off backgrounds who are now in careers that would be unthinkable without getting the chance to attend a private school. I’d also say the old boy network is likely a myth (for the majority of private schools) and certainly not experienced this personally.

Im sensitive views will be split on rights and wrongs of private education but that’s not the question being asked.

Ahh **** it I’ll bite.
Basically if you can’t trust your kid to ignore Jonny ****wit send them to private school so they don’t have to mix with the great unwashed.

Gross generalisation: not having to share a classroom and the teacher’s time with kids who have massive social problems that need managing instead of just learning the subject.

I went to a selective state grammar school, so kind of in-between. But IME that ^, no offense to Weeksy, but children who are just little *s will be out the door sharpish and become someone else's problem leaving the rest of us behind to learn stuff. The local comp tends to be where those little *s end up, making life difficult for those there who do actually want to learn things, dragging everybody down by being disruptive.
It was certainly a noticeable difference where I went to school (Lincolnshire. I belive only us, Buckinghamshire, Kent and Northern Ireland still have grammar schools? I wait to be corrected)

Peer group

Peer group parents

Peer group Red Brick University

Peer group career opportunities

The Peer group can smell working class/comprehensive kids like me from the other side of the Gastro pub.

I've taught in a very broad spectrum of schools - from Harry Potter to Trainspotting in atmosphere.

I think the main thing you're paying for with a private education is a peer group. Private schools (and state schools in affluent areas) have lots of kids who are very motivated academically, either because they have a specific goal (medicine, law, etc) or they have enough financial security that they know they can follow their interests. It can make for quite a pressured environment in which not everyone flourishes - it's worth speaking to your daughter about her feelings on this.

The extra-curricular stuff is obviously another bonus, but it's worth checking out if the school has a particular focus. In one school I noticed that any boy who didn't play rugby was definitely treated as a bit of a 2nd class citizen by kids and staff alike. Not the case in all private schools though.

Thanks all.
Results wise for GCSE and A Level the school is well above the national average.
She wants to learn, in her current primary she is top 3 in the year for maths & science.
We have experience of both the local state secondary schools as my step son has been to both. First one he lasted until the October half term in year 7 due to bullying and being ostracised by his 'mates' who he followed to the school....
Second one has been better, but over the last couple of years discipline seems to have dropped as has pastoral care.
So we know from experience that following your mates isn't alway the best policy.
Both of those have between 700-800 pupils, so not massive compared to the one I attended which was closer to 2000 pupils.

The Grammar has 250 secondary pupils split across 3 houses - so a lot smaller class sizes.

She got the Scholarship based on her dance and sporting ability as well as academic, so is aware that she will be expected to perform and join the cross country team etc.

Peer group

For balance, my niece was removed from a private school and moved to a state grammar instead. Her siblings have stayed. During lockdown it was obvious that the private school was less well organised and did little for the welfare of pupils. By contrast the grammar was exemplary.

Reason for leaving was largely down to peer group and falling in with a “wrong crowd”. Teenage girls can be very cruel. She’s flying now.

We're in the same situation with my eldest but in Australia where private school is much more common. We've found a school that has a really rounded approach to education, where it isn't overly academic but about developing the individual.

It feels as close as i'll find to the non-fee paying selective 14+ grammar school i went to in England (IIRC there were only two left in the UK at the time) and feel hugely privileged to have done so. We were treated as more grown up and responded as such. I don't think i ever saw a fight between 14-18 and the attitude to learning was so much better then the comp i'd been to before.

However, when i went to a Uni with a large number of private school kids I always felt a bit of an outsider. Can't really put my finger on it, but there was a Home Counties private school snobbery (or i felt there was). So i'd echo the sentiment that if your daughter will fit in, it could be a real benefit.

Really depends on the individual school and individual child. Your daughter's situation is completely different to mine. But here is a brief run down of my experience.

My brother and I both went to private schools on scholarships, we wouldn't have gone without them and my grandparents paid the fees, my parents had a good income but definitely couldn't afford the fees themselves. I was also diagnosed with dislexia, and 80's state school had very poor funding for that at the time, where as the private ones saw it as a buisness venture.

My prep school was great, really good teachers, facilities and other students, but there were other issues which I'll come too.

My senior school (boarding) however had amazing facilities (golf course, private beach, squash courts etc) but 50% of the teaching staff were absolutely complete and utter balls and the school had a big ingrained bulling problem - I left with ok grades, C's and B's, but was in the top set for everything and really should have done much better. I also had an older brother at the school so didn't get picked on much, and generally have fond memories of the place. But my brother absolutely hates the place. The school shut down a year after I left - from my year of 50 students only 6 or so stayed to do a levels and it shut down at the end of their first year, the school had a junior school as well and after repeated years of poor GCSE results the Scholl didn't have enough students and merged or was sold off to a near by rival. Im not in contact with any of my school friends other than a couple on Facebook, and didn't build any lifetime friendships.

It also turns out the previous headmaster had been extensively abusing kids at the school during the late 70s and early 80s (before my time) and there is an investigation into a cover up at the school. Following on from this and on the same note, my prep schools Headmaster and English teacher of when I attended both are now convicted pedo's. There were rumours in the playground about it but nothing came out about it untill about 10yrs ago when expupils came forward and they were convicted. Headmasters nickname at the school was 'bender'......

Personally I don't think that there is much benefit of fee paying schools - unless you can pay top wack for future contacts. Education from my experience just depends on the school and also the year group - like all schools. My experiences are now out of date and to be fair could have happened at any state school and are not restricted to fee paying ones. The extra tuition I received for my dislexia really was amazing though - and is something I'm really grateful I received. My daughter is also dislexic, at a state school, doing GCSEs and I'm sure her dislexia tuition isn't as good as mine was 30 years ago.

Grammar schools are a bit different though, as there are entrance examinations your child should have peers at a similar level. Although I've heard of some kids who were achievers in primary become near the bottom at grammar and not do as well as a result.

Private schools come in all flavours. From your description, this one will have creamed off the best students from nearby, filtered out the ones with LDs and other things that cost money to address, so I'd expect it will be excellent.
Private non grammars will take those who can pay the fee. Some are great, some are utter crap

I personally know a grand total of two people who have been provately educated. One of them ended up being an oilfield reservoir geologist and retired at about 38 years old. The other met the child of an extremely wealthy Hong Kong financier whilst studying and is now married to them with very little to worry about for the rest of their days.

Take from that what you will. I take from it that - highly dependent on the school - it allows opportunities for either academic development or beneficial social introductions, or both.

FWIW re: the peer group thing, it's a consideration. I was granted a full scholarship to Birkdale in Sheffield when I was about 7 years old. My parents ultimately decided not to accept because we were not particularly well off and they thought I might experience bullying or 'shunning' or similar due to being relatively poor working class. I never really thought about it much at the time, and I've done alright for myself in the state school system.

From my experience (my partner works in one) - masses of confidence.

But that's not necessarily a negative as it goes a long way in this life.

Look at the record of the school – although not subject to the same Ofsted scoring, they do have similar things in place. Our local fee-paying school has lower grades across the board than the state-funded school our girls go to. Don’t just assume that it will be better because it is paid-for education.

Theres a reason why private schools offer free and subsidised places to bright kids from state funded schools. What would their grades look like if they didn't? When I lived in the area Gordonstoun was offering free places for people just for the year they take their exams.

Our lad has always been in private education, he is now age 11.

From a young age it’s daft little things more about social skills, ie how to interact with people, how to eat properly at a table.

As he’s got older it’s things like leadership skills and confidence. As he gets older I can see it will be more about developing him as a leader and networking .

The education itself isn’t any better, but the opportunity is greater

Be careful to choose the school correctly for your child some are very academic focused and will not suit every child.

We recently moved from one part of the country to another. The first private school he went to ticked all the boxes, had a great reputation and looked the part. Something wasn’t quite right though. In the summer we moved him to the more local ‘avg’ private school and he’s loving it

The only cons I can see is that it does become ‘them and us’ as in lads from the local comp don’t mix with lads from the local private school which is sad really

Mrs FD both went to state schools and are doing ok career wise.

I guess the only true positive from private school is that if you come out without good grades, it’s only the students fault, you shouldn’t be able to blame it on the school

Edit: oh and through lockdown education continued as normal just online

It depends what the alternative was. My parents thought the local comp at the time was crap and I’m not in a position to doubt their judgement 40 years later though I suspect it was politically biased. My school was ok, not spectacular, a fair few thick spoilt brats and an unhealthy dose of reverse snobbery as they all tried to prove how unprivileged they were and looked down on any sort of achievement as a sign of being too posh. However we had good (sometimes great) facilities and strong teaching for brighter kids like me.

My wife went to a decent grammar school and there wasn’t much wrong with her education though I think mine was slightly stronger at the top end of achievement levels. I didn’t have kids at my school getting pregnant as happened at her school. Though being almost all boys probably helped with that 🙂

We’ve both got double oxbridge degrees (where we met) and went on to decent scientific careers.

Parental support at home is probably as important or more so than the school environment itself.

Her childhood memories are happier than mine but I’d say I’ve mostly recovered from the experience.

From what I’ve seen ,longer holidays and better drugs.

I’d say that highly selective state grammar schools are probably the best academically since they’re so ruthless.
As noted above, parental engagement is the most important thing, whatever school you go to. Top private school + dickhead parent = messed up kid. See Boris Johnson et al.

Teach your kid to play the oboe, not a euphonium;
They'll get a scholarship to anywhere!

The OP has alluded to it but I would emphasise Tired's point about friendships, and someone else mentioned about teenagers. Does your daughter have strong friendships now, does she want to retain those friendships, do they meet outside of school in organised activities (op mentioned dance) or are they likely to drift apart? How would your daughter feel about that and how does she feel about making new friends? Teenage years can be volatile and everyone deals with it differently. It is a very individual thing.

I come from a privileged background in terms of my home life and have done very well through the state system. I didn't enjoy secondary school but I wouldn't change a thing because it didn't affect my 'academic attainment', I have awareness and empathy for other people's lives, and I have lifelong friendships as a result. I believe if parents are engaged then for the brightest and/or focused which school they go to isn't going to massively affect achievement / grades / opportunities. The OP has already said the daughter is doing dance, presumably outside of the school system.

Went through this a few years back. Schooling has changed a lot and it depends on the school and child. My daughter goes to a local mixed private school (Chris Hoys old one actually). Massive mix of people there - loads of normal people working to give their kids a better educational as well as loaded melters who roll up in Lambos. All the parents I’ve met are entirely normal and I just avoid the ones in red trousers and tweed jackets ! Main things I see are a focus on non academic things and a much more positive approach. I am state school, and was booted out as well so not exactly a stellar background !

I'll give you my experience/opinion.

I went to Bolton School which is private. Obviously I didn't also attend any of the local schools for comparison.

Smaller class sizes and therefore.more attention. Often around 25.

Few, if any disruptive children. Teachers were never trying to control the class, just engage them. We had some brilliant and inspirational teachers (and some dicks to be fair). We covered more than the basic requirements of the nat curriculum. Lots of this was "how to think/critique stuff not just learn facts".

It was quite competitive, although maybe that was me. I've never struggled academically but I know some kids found it harder. They were getting good grades but in a skewed environment it didn't seem that way.

We had exceptional facilities:-

Large sports pitches to cover all seasons.
Swimming pool. Theatre. Climbing wall, Outdoor pursuits centre on Ullswater.

Loads of extra curricular options. I found my love of the outdoors through 19th Bolton Scout group (linked to the school). And BSOP (Bolton school outdoor pursuits) where I learnt to climb, kayak and sail. 4 friends and I were supported to apply for a grant to do a 6 week self led expedition to Canada after our A levels. I did something similar the year later as still eligible ( another 6 week exped). There was other stuff too, lots of science clubs, sports clubs and drama. We had alumni come back and give talks. Some of them were quite good at what they did. I still go to some now. Sir Ian McKellen, (rip) sir Harry kroto, high ranked military people, international diplomats, senior QCs, doctors and so on. Lots of inspiration to a young person.

Mentoring and guidance was good. None of the stuff like UCAS or picking university ever phased me. We got coached through things like that. We did things like practice interviews and had 1:1s with the head master to discuss plans and options for the future.

Trying to think of some negatives:

It was expensive, how my parent afforded the fees for three of us I don't know. We were on assisted places and lived in a three bed house in Farnworth.

Some people were not poor, although that never bothered me (naive?). In sixth form it was usual for boys to drive themselves to school! I couldn't go on some of the more expensive trips (Skiing, Summer trip to USA or China).

Competitive I mentioned. I was a straight A student but it was hard if you struggled.

It can insulate you from other people. I think Bolton School had a good mix of culture and social status. Single sex buildings though. It's hard to be posh growing up in Farnworth anyway.

Getting the bus to school in the blazer was,at times, character building - as in I took it off to hide!

If I had kids I'd send them there.

Just being a private school doesn't make it a good school. I'd make sure it is before any decision. It needs to fit your kids.

I'm not sure about the peer group thing above. I keep in contact with a few friends, two I'm still close too. One is a games designer. One has retired in the US at 40. The school tie has never helped me. Perhaps the most help is a sense of self confidence and belief. I spent my school years being told I could do anything and then being given examples of people who have done great things.

Lincolnshire. I belive only us, Buckinghamshire, Kent and Northern Ireland still have grammar schools? I wait to be corrected)

Wirral. In fact there's only one fee paying grammar here (boys only, the girls school changed to an academy) as the local grammars are successful.

Scholarship boy here. It turns you into an exam machine. Most boys from my old school seem to be accountants or lawyers. Lots of time on holidays and class size of 21.

I had always looked back on those days with affection until I had kids go through the school system and now am really quite bitter about the snobbishness and lack of support from the teachers. If your face fitted then you were fine; if not then there was no catch fence. I was known for the first few years as "the boy with the broad Yorkshire accent" across my yeargroup (spoiler: school was in Yorkshire).

When I told my 6th form tutor I wasn't going to apply for oxbridge he literally looked at me like he's trodden in dogshit and ignored me for the next 2 years. Because it affected his figures, I guess.

Apparently drugs are a big problem in many private schools due to spare income.

Eldest is at a state grammar here. I would only send a kid to private school if they had certain needs and would benefit from the smaller class sizes. I would care more about the pastoral care that was entirely lacking in my school.

Edited to add, single sex is good academically but does not prepare you for life. A mate was telling me he went from 14 years of single sex education to a uni course where 130 women stared at the 10 men in their first lecture...