Watching your new topic fall away due to inactivity

Damn it Damn it Damn it. Knuckles and hammers do not mix.

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Sorry i laughed 🙁 But if the only way your wife can keep you off her Jaffa cakes is to use a hammer, maybe it's time you bought your own

perchypanther - Member
... They both do a bit of mixing.

her Jaffa cakes

17 nudibranchs. All male. And all female. Indecisive critters. But they know how to party.

Are you in your wellies again?

I don't have any wellies these days. I don't think I've owned a pair since my feet got too big for the frog ones as a protest against them not being available in adult sizes.

Wellies are still full of eels so it's a flip flop on my left foot and a handsome brogue on my right. Must buff the flip flop later.

Use one of those big floor polishing things, just don't forget to take the flip flop off before you buff it.

I hope you chaps don't leave home without your cumberbun!

(I bet that Thepurist is really Brian Hubba Hubba Blessed)

At least Thepurist has an excuse for coming home at all hours, slightly damp, strange look on his face and smelling of eels. What's your excuse Mr Dangeourbrain ?

(Bet it involves that Marry Berry )

I don't have one anymore.

I used to keep eels in my rubber under pants but I never bothered to sex them first. Turns out there is a good reason for doing that.

dangerourbrain, I have saved your feet from shallow water wetness!

[url= http://www.thewellyshop.com/solem8-frog-welly-boots.html ]http://www.thewellyshop.com/solem8-frog-welly-boots.html[/url]

Yup, adult sizes.

Thank you Willard. His current boots make him look silly

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Willard, you have just made me a very happy troll!

A happy troll?

Goaty McGoatface is not impressed.

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🙄

😆

Is he related to boaty mcboatface?

I like to imagine Perchypanther putting on his black onesie panther pajamas (with little fluffy ears and tail) at bedtime. His wife lets him play with a ball of wool before kicking him out for the night.

I wonder if his wife has micro-chipped him?

I think most wives keep track on their husbands through bullying rather than microchips.

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Is he related to boaty mcboatface?

Scrotey McScroteface?

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Ate one of those once. Tasted like chicken.

Alan Sugar tastes of chicken?!!!!! 😯

Alan Sugar tastes like cheap aftershave and batteries. Fact!

I imagine Alan Sugar tastes of sugar, otherwise it'd be trade descriptions wouldn't it?

They should put a tax on him then. Or get him to change his name to Alan Aspartame

I imagine Alan Sugar tastes of sugar, otherwise it'd be trade descriptions wouldn't it?

I'd guess mrsfry doesn't taste of Turkish Delight.
Getting grassed to Trading Standards.

I'd guess mrsfry doesn't taste of Turkish Delight.
Getting grassed to Trading Standards.

Cheeky sausage! I only said a weekend with me would be like the film [b]Midnight Express [/b](but with more giggles.....from me)

Where does Mr Sugar keeps his RDA label? Has anyone looked to see if it's correct (call Thepurist)

He keeps all his labels in a purse made from Katie Hopkins' scrotum. RDA, COSHH, Fragile, This Way Up and every label from all his birthday and Christmas presents from the age of 7 to 23. He gets PwC to audit them annually.

^^

Are you one of those secret under duvet black ops secret agents.....do i need to burn my internet history 😳

(Not that i have anything to hide....)

I taste of boiled eggs.

You are what you eat.

I think you will be needing this

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Oh anti mother in law spray. I need me one of those.*

*she's not actually evil, well not according to history anyhow as she had the foresight never to engage in anything she might lose, marriage, arguments, 5 hour discussions about why your plates are in the wrong cupboard even though you stopped participating at rejoinder one

Wish i could take the place of your MIL. I have way more important stuff to ramble about.

When a cake says 'Five Portions' and i finish it alone and under the duvet in half a hour

When the pills say 'Don't mix with alcohol' but it's the only way i can take them

Getting blood stains off the patio 'Can't use a jet wash at that time of night'

Real problems like this need to be talked about in a family environment

When a cake says 'Five Portions' and i finish it alone and under the duvet in half a hour

I work to the following theory - one portion of desert takes approximately five minutes, so for every five minutes or fraction there of its another portion [of time.]

Works for me.

Why does Monday feel like such a personal affront?

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Why does Monday feel like such a personal affront?

Tell me where you live and i will hide under your bed and pounce on Monday as soon is it turns up

I think my address is best given in song
(is all correct except I'm not a skeleton and I don't have a dog)

You never mentioned you had a dog 🙁

I think that On And On is a computer generated member created by a Russian oligarch to keep members in the chat forum and off the roads. I could prove this but I don't want to be poked by a radioactive poking thing.

Plus he says he rides his bike bare chested with a tiger sitting on his handlebars (just like that Russian chap)

6 damsel flies in 3 pairs on one lily pad. What a night.

It would have been odd if there had been six flies in two pairs.