[Closed] want to write but no idea

I'm quite fond of stories about sleazy looking men going around to bored housewives homes to fix the plumbing.

I think it's the technical content about boiler pressure settings that most fascinate me.

Fiction or non-fiction?

First is trickier, but could possibly be more rewarding if you ever get to the end of the rainbow... second is easier ideas-wise, but way tricker to get people to read.

I spent three years working out what to write about... finally an idea came and the draft of my first novel is almost in the can. Got a work of non-fiction published in 2005 with a tiny print run. Made me feel good, but delivered zero capital returns.

Good luck whatever you choose!

What's been keeping you so busy? Is it interesting, diverting, tragic or humorous?
Write pen sketches of the various characters on STW, build up a style, try and find a consistent "voice".
Fiction, non-fiction...

write about what you know apparently most first novels are semi - autobiographical.
TSY for example knows a thing or two about poking around in old boilers for example

There's a respected creative writing course at the University of East Anglia.

They have a [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creative-Writing-Coursebook-Authors-Exercises/dp/0333782259/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1311947215&sr=8-2 ]book[/url] which is quite good.

One thing it suggests is to write...about anything and everything.

I would suggest getting a notebook and writing stuff...you could if you were so inclined start a free blog. Subscribe to a writing magazine and enter the competitions...also search out other competitions too. Then when you do well in a competition, or get a short story published you can promote yourself on your blog.

That'll get your creative juices going...eventually you'll think of something to base a novel on.

Oooh, I don't. I know a lot about being stuck in the internet.

I'm working on an STW screenplay.

Pirates. Everyone likes pirates. Yarr.

Pirates. Everyone likes pirates. Yarr.

Vs ninjas?

I'm not sure there are any original ideas to be had in the various medias any more?
Everything seems to have already been done.

Ninjas are better.

I did Pilates at lunch.

There were no ninjas invloved but some of the women were dressed head to toe in black lycra.

Nun-jas

Kick-ass catholicism?

EDIT: Please don't nick this idea. I think it's got legs. Mad, whirling legs.

Ninjas and Pirates...vs Chuck Norris.

My missus lectures in Creative Writing for a living. I too dabble occasionally, but the gist of it is that practice makes better. I'm shockingly bad at it though.

A good place to start might be to buy yourself an ordinary notebook, head to a town centre coffee shop and sit outside watching the world go by.

Depending on how seriously you take it there are plenty of websites out there. I've found b3ta.com's question of the week to be quite inspirational. Warning, peurile content.

I did a class a while ago. Lady basically gave us a sentence to start with and told us to write for 10m, then a different sentence....etc eg

"He could not believe she'd bought a SRAM chain..." etc

The original idea is that of your own perception, you are the only person to have ever experienced or understood it. Fragment the various personae that construct you and your nearest or most loathed and there are your characters.

Add a pinch of human condition with a sprinkle of comedy and tragedy and your on you're on your way.

That and robots.

Non-jars.

Supermarket produce comes to life, except for the jars. An intriguing mystery begins, centring on the non-life of the non-jars.

Miss Marbled Beefsteak is the heroine.

I Imagine you should pretend you are the person you really want to be, and write that. Cos it'll still be about you/life/experience etc. but you can add on all your fantasies, daft ideas, dreams, etc that will never be realised anyway, so have fun. It'll keep you entertained. be creative and not think about an audience or anything. Anything good is based on reality in one way or another I think.

Pirates and Ninja versus robot Chuck Norris and his army of flying monkeys?

Nan-jars

Granny? She's down in the basement..

I've got this story about a bunch of hairy handed dwarves going on some mad quest with a gold broach that I'm working on.

Dwarves of the Bling is my working title.

There are a bunch of community writing sites out there, with aspiring writers sharing their work and giving each other feedback and voting for each others' proto-novels. Some of them are sponsored by publishers and some folk on them have even been published. I'd definitely have a look at those.

Alternatively, scour the STW classifieds for a second-hand garret, buy yourself a Dickensian candlestick holder and embrace a life of lonely poverty drowning in a yellow pool of flickering candlelight. Enjoy.

Yeti, is the bad guy a wrong 'un called Sour Lon, by any chance?

If so, when did you get in my head?

How about a story about a bastard child, what likes beards and sandals, that goes around performing miracles?

Write about what you know, life , childhood, its a start at least and a few other ideas may come from it.

Yeti, you're doing it again...

... that's nicked from an idea I had a while ago, provisionally entitled 'Jay Sis' Magic Cloud'.

You could try a book about a small schoolboy who goes off to Private School and has this train journey to get there fron an unusual numbered platform. Then he meets some mates and gets bullied a bit, starts fighting back with the use of some magic, ends up playing a flying ball game..

It's got legs that one.

I published my book via the self-publishing site www.lulu.com. They have various chat forums where you can get a lot of help from other writers. I am sure there are plenty of other forums where you can get inspiration and ideas from too.

Robert Pirsig on Overcoming Writer's Block and Narrowing a Topic
"Start with the upper left-hand brick"
By Richard Nordquist, About.com Guide

In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (1974), Robert Pirsig recalls a problem shared by many of the students in his creative writing class at Montana State College in Bozeman: "They just couldn't think of anything to say."

Focusing his attention on a young woman who was trying to compose "a 500-word essay about the United States," Pirsig (or rather, his alter ego Phaedrus) suggested that she try narrowing her topic--to Bozeman, for instance.

A few days later the student returned to class empty handed and deeply frustrated. "She had tried and tried," Pirsig writes, "but just couldn't think of anything to say."

His next recommendation, to narrow the topic to the main street of Bozeman, also proved unsuccessful.

By this point Phaedrus had grown even more frustrated than the student.

He was furious. "You're not looking!" he said. A memory came back of his own dismissal from the University for having too much to say. For every fact there is an infinity of hypotheses. The more you look the more you see. She really wasn't looking and yet somehow didn't understand this.
Then he revised the assignment one last time: "Narrow it down to the front of one building on the main street of Bozeman. The Opera House. Start with the upper left-hand brick."
And oddly enough, that proved to be the ticket:

It should be the ideas that come easily, whether you want them or not, in showers, cars, beds, queues... The hard part is sifting through them and then, harder still, writing.
For the complete writer experience, this:

embrace a life of lonely poverty

George the short giraffe.

looked down on by the other giraffes he sets off on a journey to find himself, realising that height isnt everything.

has to wear a helmet to stop him bashing his head on stuff, rotational forces not an issue cos of his neck

George the short giraffe.

look down on by the other giraffes he sets off on a journey to find himself, realising that height isnt everything.

Does he discover he's actually a horse?

I hope this is a feel good story, I want him to be happy in the end.

unfortunately he's a product of a dwarf making love to a giraffe... he finds this out in the penultimate chapter, but some of the lessons he learnt earlier on in the story come back to him and he learns to love himself.

plus he's always wanted to meet happy, sleepy, grumpy and the other dwarfs, so the book ends with him falling asleep dreaming about disneyland

Last piece of advice from me:

Experience in non-fiction/disappointing sales tells me you have to have a snappy title, possibly a spurious, character assassination of a well-known historical figure.

Here's a free idea. Feel free to nick it:

Joe and Adolf's Hot Dogging Delights

(which could either be Stalin and Hitler's long-lost cookbook, or love that dare not speak its name during a 30s European road trip)

You're welcome.

What about a series of short stories for Russian children where each of the families in the village are charactarised by there preference for a particular colour hat?

Roman Red Hat
Yakrov Yellow Hat
Borris Blue Hat

Not forgetting Ramu & Gita, the Asian family that had no particular colour preference.

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/profile/the-southern-yeti should be all the inspiration you need

I read through some of that Phil... what a knob end! Apologies Yeti, I'm sure you're alright in real life, but seriously dude... get out of here!

unfortunately he's a product of a dwarf making love to a giraffe

I'm not sure about this anymore...was it a girl giraffe? If so I can understand that a stepladder was involved, but if it was a girl dwarf then I'm not convinced...logistically speaking.

Oh, and the title 'Soapy Boobs' is a sure-fire winner.

i'd buy soapy-boobs just to have on my book shelf, no actual story needed.

what about the product of an encounter between a shetland pony and a giraffe?

ok, that's more convincing...I'm beginning to [i]believe[/i] in this story now.

Soapy Boobs by...

you've got to come up with a proper pseudonym. I suggest Gareth Splash.

Re: 'Soapy Boobs'.

Writers, they say, should write about what they know... so I'm off now to buy some soap. Laters.

... I've got boobs

may i suggest a start:

Soapy Boobs.
by S. Punky-Norks

Chapter 1.

The local kids couldn't work out why he was so smiley all the time, the local growd-ups described him as 'happy as a box of soapy-boobs on a rainy sunday' but only he knew the truth...

Southern Yeti - and I've got the soap... plans this weekend? 🙂

I'm travelling down to London then cycling across to Somerset on Saturday... how does that work for you?

I imagine my arse will be taking a pounding so bring some creme.

Soap AND cream? What d'you think I am? Boots?