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[Closed] Untrue things you have told your kids

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I told my niece's that ghandi invented flip flops, but that they didn't take off at the time because he called them flip flips.
Years later an Australian renamed them flip flops, and the rest is history.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:34 pm
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No kids, but once told an entire year 7 class that bees make honey and wasps make marmite. They believed me, had one of the parents even tell me at parents evening that they even went along with it when their little one came home and told them!


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:36 pm
 Drac
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That I'm fun.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:38 pm
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The scar on my belly from an operation I had as a kid and the BCG scar on my arm are war wounds from a battle I had with a dragon. My youngest still believes it and bigs me up to her friends.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:41 pm
 pk13
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cow eggs.the big black plastic covered hay rolls they are cows eggs.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:44 pm
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Not mine, but my sisters kids ( them off of the powerkites debacle ) got told,by me , that dinosaurs still lived in Iceland
They went on and on to my sister about going to Iceland to see the dinosaurs . I dont think they knew who to believe in the end .


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:51 pm
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What are you getting the ungrateful little sods this year?

And if any kites are going spare.........
🙂


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 7:58 pm
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I used to pull a few hairs out of my chest and then pretend that i'd got them from my daughters back, she believed for years she had a hairy back.

Character building stuff.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:04 pm
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My Dad had me convinced when I was a nipper that petrol pumps (from 30 yrs ago) were really aliens with fingers in their ears.

And I somehow convinced myself that German soldiers in WW movies who got shot were real soldiers that we had been keeping over from the war to use in films 🙁


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:06 pm
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I told my niece's that ghandi invented flip flops

Nah, it was a French bloke. Phillipe Phillope.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:10 pm
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When I were a lad of nine or ten my Dad convinced me there was a "Parkin family secret" passed down the male line when you came of age on your sixteenth birthday.

This became an article of faith to me, and I was massively disappointed on my sixteenth birthday when he'd totally forgotten all about it.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:12 pm
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Told my son I fought in WW2, maths wasn't his strong point at 4. 😆


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:18 pm
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When he was a toddler we told l'il J that all the sweets in shops were dog snacks.
I am also a Jedi knight.


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:19 pm
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Told my son I fought in WW2, maths wasn't his strong point at 4

LOL 😆


 
Posted : 01/12/2017 8:19 pm
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So this lad went round everyone with a plate of Pringles, "excuse me, would you like a Pringle?" Then waited until the guest had a mouthful of crisp before sagely adding, "They've got jizz on them."

Dave's defence later was that he told him to say "cheese."

I absolutely LOVE this. I guess there is probably an age range where the excuse is blaggable, pronunciation-wise. Might try with my 4 year old, but don't really care if i get busted!


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 1:35 am
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His excuse was less plausible by dint of the pair of us sat on the floor in fits of giggles watching it unfold, to be fair. If you're going to employ this gambit, either you can't reap the rewards or you need a poker face.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 3:39 am
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When the shoplifting alarm sounds in a shop (normally by accident because an item hasn't been scanned properly) its actually the naughty child alarm and the manager is on his way to tell off a naughty child.

Oh, and the one about the PIR sensors and Santa.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 9:36 am
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At least one school I teach at has uses the alarm PIR's as methods to get confessions out of kids. "we have seen it on the CCTV you know but want you to own up". Most are too damn well cynical for under 11's to fall for it but one or two do.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 10:28 am
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No kids but convinced a "less high flying" class the colour was invented in the late 50s that's why old films and photos are black and white. The psychedelic 60s were when the were trying to get the colours right beforehand we.t back and coloured in the good old paintings. One parent was not impressed by what their 14yo was telling them.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 10:37 am
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I convinced my son I could speak Vietnamese, with a very bad stereotypical mildly racist impression. I was found out a week later when he casually asked my wife , who was with a group of her friends, why she doesn’t speak Vietnamese like Daddy. She said I didn't but he said I do, he has heard me.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 10:41 am
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My 8 yr old daughter believes I'm 'Pasta Man'- a super hero that flies across the world at night to feed those in need of a delicious carbo-load plateful of goodness. 8)


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 10:49 am
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Oh, and the one about the PIR sensors and Santa.

No idea who told her this, presumably its entered playground mythology - but I've noticed that my niece quickly checks the corners of the room before deciding whether or not to hit her brother 🙂


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 11:10 am
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Not kids but I convinced a former colleague that they mine cheddar cheese on the Mendips.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 11:45 am
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Also no kids, but working at an outdoor pursuits centre with some kids in care, we told them that the river we were paddling rafts down was circular (drop off and pick up points were very similar car parks in forests, and the minibus parked in the same place in both).

I don't think the kids fell for it but one of the carers thought that was "very convenient" and fell for it hook line and sinker. I told him it was easy to spot if he checked a map later.

Wonder if he did 🙂

One of the other guys who worked with us told some older kids that if they fell in they had to watch out for the bearded clams that lived on the bottom of the river in case they grabbed them... Occasionally when we threw one of the kids in they would shout "I felt them! They nearly got me!"


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 3:12 pm
 chip
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Not quite on topic but I impose a 10% tax on all sweets my 3yr old great nephew eats in my presents when he’s there when I visit my sister. And being a good kid he is happy to share.

I am just preparing him for adult life I tell myself why chomping on his smarties.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 6:00 pm
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No kids.

Told my cousins when they were younger that if you put a wafer thin slice of ham in the dvd player it would show a short movie about pigs. Wasn’t too popular with my uncle after.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 6:04 pm
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chip - Member
Not quite on topic but I impose a 10% tax on all sweets my 3yr old great nephew eats

Somewhat appropriately, that's known as the "chip tax" here.


 
Posted : 02/12/2017 6:14 pm
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