[Closed] Time Machine content - who would you kill?

The list is endless, if you're going for war mongering lunatics: Thatcher, Tony Blair, Bush (both of them), etc etc

Then there's Michael O'Leary, all of Goldman Sachs, Bob Diamond,..

Would take me months to get through them all...

Tim Westwood!

Although to be honest I don't need a time machine, just a length of lead pipe and directions to his house.

On second thoughts lead pipe would be too quick, he deserves to suffer more than that, maybe a rusty razor blade and a packet of salt.

balls to that. I'd go forwards, get the Grand National result for next year then come back and land the damn thing right outside William Hill.

or a pack of starving hungry chiwawa's, about a hundred of them, I could lock him in a room with them, and they would rip him apart one tiny little bite at a time.

My dad before I was born. Just to see what would happen.

Adam/The first fish that crawled out of the sea (depending on your IQ)

I mean, the "big dawg" ripped apart by lots of miniature dogs, the delicious irony of it.

Pete Waterman and the other one. I'll never forgive them.

Why changing the past can never work....

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I read the title and immediately thought of that comic.

Pierce fffing Morgan

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Awesome it worked.

Ok about to test my time machine, if it works I'll be going back 6 minutes in time.

About forty years from now I plan to travel back in time and sell Drac a time machine. My plan is to persuade him to use it to travel back six minutes in time for a joke on an internet forum, then reveal to him that having done so, he's going to miss every plane, train and bus he ever intends to catch from now on, by about 6 minutes

How about killing Columbus so that America doesn't get 'found'*

*yes I do realise that someone else would find it!

then reveal to him that having done so, he's going to miss every plane, train and bus he ever intends to catch from now on, by about 6 minutes

Good look inventing you time machine as you seem to have not grasped by going back in time I'll be early for buses, trains and planes by 6 minutes not late.

i have given it no thought but I approve of MSP and his methods

Sets controls for 16 May 2012, dons parcelforce outfit and 'lazer' gun

Why kill someone ?
What about helping someone ?

I'd help my Mom ....

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I'd kill Osama Bin Laden before he got proper nasty. & all his mates.

Jimmy Carr, the tax dodging muppet.

Ken Livingstone, the tax dodging muppet.

😉

John Connor

You can remove anyone from history, who would otherwise go on to to commit massive atrocities. Wars, torture, genocide, assassination...

And your first thought is "tax evasion"?

(On reflection, Jimmy probably had it coming.)

Sir William Beveridge - pyramid scheme starting, sexist muppet.

No! Then who would invent hot drinks?

A good point well made.

I'd kill Sir William Beverage instead.

That'd sort it.

We can deal with the Duke of Wellington and the Earl of Sandwich whilst we're at it.

Essentially then, Glastonbury's screwed.

I dont get that cartoon.
7 sodomized 9?

6 was afraid because 7 8 9 [ seven ate nine]
so it was afraid because 7 sodomised nine

neither is very funny tbh but young kids like the former

I get the first one, the 2nd one just didn't hit the spot.

Sounds like it hit 9's though

I get the first one, the 2nd one just didn't hit the spot.

Try tilting your hips a bit?

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