[Closed] Things your teachers said to you.

"You'll never make it past your AS Level year"

In July I graduated uni with a first 🙂

stop dreaming about killing people and get a real job 😀

'If you don't change your attitude you'll be fishing shopping trolleys out of the canal for a living'

'carry on working hard and you will do well in life'

How wrong he was 😆

'You little bastard'

😮

Edit: No actually that was technically correct.

"You'll look back at school and think that these were the happiest days of your life."

Yeah right!!! 😕

LOL IDave good money doing that and no stress like being a teacher and normally use mechanical machines to do it 🙂

i cant remember what they said to me ? too much water gone under the bridge since then !
ah yes wait a minuit i remember one time, i was about 5, 6 or 7 years of age and teacher said " draw one of the four sons" i went away and drew and coloured in a big yellow/orange sun !!! " well that will do i suppose elaine" she said "we can still use it on the backdrop of our big wall picture.
she's quiet as a mouse (we never hear or see her, she,s sooo tiny ! i never did grow ? 😕

"Do your parents know you smoke cigars ?"

This thread could be easily misinterpreted...

Monsta. Your comment reminds me of what Kurt Cobain said about the cover shot of Nevermind.

At boarding school to hide the smell of fag smoke in the dorms we used to burn josticks. I got hauled up in front of the house mistress for taking drugs. I found this extremely amusing and laughed in her face. She said "Karinofnine, aren't you afraid of anything?" I said, "Well, I'm certainly not afraid of josticks!".

I was expelled not long after that...

"I suppose a reach around's out of the question?"

Repeatedly: "Spell Rhetorical"

You must have been very proud of your towering intellect to use that one so many times to a 9 year old...

"got a light.?"

...just looked up "reach around"... my, you do learn a lot on STW! 😆

In a maths lesson,

LAD, YES YOU, THE LAD WHO HASNT TURNED ROUND TO SEE WHO IAM SHOUTING AT.

Next minute he came running up behind me, gave me such a thump i shot forward out of the seat, and landed on the lad in front, who then jumped up, and tried topunch me, and hit the [s]Pychopath[/s] teacher insted, oh how we all laughed.

Strangely in another maths lesson, different teacher, he hit a lad with a 4 foot plastic board ruler, split his head open, all covered up, and the lad rtransfered to another school,for being disruptive.

They might have done, but I wasn't listening.

"SMITH!!! You'll never get a job looking out the window all day"

I'm now an air traffic controller

"Andrew has a vibrant sense of colour"

Actually Andrew is very colourblind

"Andrew gets good results in tests but could do with being more forthcoming in class and participating more"

Actually Andrew is never in your classes, you just haven't noticed yet.

"Andrew showed an indepth knowledge of the text"

Andrew didn't read the book, but did watch 2/3rds of the film

'If he put as much energy into his school work as he does in to trying to impress his friends, he could do well.'

This was a recurring comment in my school reports and I tend to agree looking back 🙂

"terry you are a lazy git and will never ammount to anything"

my pe teacher in 2nd year

last time i saw him he was standing at the side of the course at strathpuffer as i came round for the 9th or 10th time ...

did the same to a mate - wouldnt let him do the schools XC running champs for non attendance of class .... he turned up and blitzed the field but it didnt count as a school win because he wasnt entered by the school....

Maths teacher who always said "Sorry" to the girl who sat just in front of the back row after throwing the board duster at the back row students. He bought a tennis ball after a while! Those were the best days of my life!

Ayhe Uphillcursing lad. Go polish bumpers on't TVR till Ah can me arse in t shine.

He was from Barnsley I recall and as it was a glorious hot sunny day I didn't mind passing double woodwork in that manner.

Your 27. You can't hang around here any more.

'WAKE UP lad or at least have the decency not to snore and disturb the rest of the class'

One of my rather laid back english teachers.

TheSwede - Member
Your 27. You can't hang around here any more.
POSTED 4 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

A direct quote from my maths teacher in my 1983 school report that my wife and i were having a good laugh over earlier this week: "Adrian is capable of producing some very good work. Unfortunately we haven't seen it yet this term". Classic!

Attainment A/B
Effort C/D

I saw this as a positive. 😕

We had a useless Biology teacher who couldn't keep control of the class. He eventually decided to leave and work elsewhere.

I actually don't think we gave him much of a hard time and discipline wasn't really that bad, but maybe I was wrong on that because only 9 out of over 100 across four classes in my year passed their O Level later that year.

When he left, he announced to the class that I wouldn't have a "cat in hell's chance" of passing my exam. I was slightly bemused at his personal attack as we had always seemed to get along. It was probably because I didn't feel like my efforts/abilities were ever recognised by him (coz he was so useless at his job) and this definitely affected my attitude in class.

Anyhow, I was one of the 9 who passed.

"Get a haircut."

"Keep the noise down and put that beer away. Some people are trying to sleep."

"I am not a fascist. I'm Jewish"

Boarding school, you see.

pomona - Member
"SMITH!!! You'll never get a job looking out the window all day"

I'm now an air traffic controller

LOL at this, very good.

I spent my school life bored looking out if the window.

I wish i'd paid more attention as I might have a better job now

"You'll never make it past your AS Level year"

In July I graduated uni with a first

"He will never make it past year 9."

Said to the rest of the class after I walked out of a lesson in year 7.

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths...

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths...

Not Bath by any chance?

Going off to uni tomorrow to start a 4 year masters course in maths...

You mean you're going to do an undergraduate degree that takes four years, the final of which converts it to a masters.

Concentrate on the important things at university: beer and birds.

Yeah the point of year 1 is to get drunk every night for as long as you can take it/til the money runs out. Year 2 you have to be more sensible, then year 3 even more so. I could do a masters, just can't be arsed to waste another year and would rather be earning!

"Heroin is not necessarily addictive and harmless if used correctly."
Biology teacher and occasional smackhead.

French teacher broke into school grounds one night whilst pissed and sprayed "Bollocks to Horrocks" in four foot high letters on the side of the gym. Mr Horrocks was the deputy head. They didn't get on.
He took great pleasure in telling everyone on the day he left - nice bloke.

Mr Potter RIP. Unfortunately hung himself after his wife left him.
"what do you want me to play, Sex Pistols or Tom Robinson Band?"

"Heroin is not necessarily addictive and harmless if used correctly."

True. It's used as a painkiller. I had it just prior to an operation. Did me no harm at all.

I'm grateful I had one or two teachers who were open, honest and objective about drugs.

Never had their own gear though. Always bloody smoked mine. Mind, fair trade I spose for letting me sit in their office at break, and skin up.

Concentrate on the important things at university: beer and birds.

Sage advice. It's very very unlikely you will get the same 'opportunities' ever again. Enjoy it while you can.

And don't worry about a 'career' ffs; there won't be any jobs when you come out of Uni anyway.

Careers advice:

'Get a good degree from a decent uni, it doesn't matter what subject, and you'll easily be able to get a well paid job, doing pretty much whatever you want to do' 😆

😐

Agree uni beer/birds thing - definitely make the most of it.

If on a masters (like I was) a handy tip is to try to do well in year 3 so in the 4th year you have enough points in the bank to just **** it off and go all out on partying. Last year at uni was the best one, and one of the best years of my life!

There's no such word as "got"

You need to do extra maths

'Can you dig what I'm saying Mr Gardner?'

Followed a day later by my rather large father visiting the school and pinning him by the throat against a wall suggesting an apology would be in order. It never happened again!! 😆

This wasn't a solitary incident and had been going on for a few weeks before I mentioned it to dad.

my rather large father visiting the school and pinning him by the throat against a wall

my dads bigger than...... oh! carry on

"What do you mean you don't intend to go to university to study chemistry? Why are you in my class, you'll not achieve anything unless you go to university........." as said by a knob of a chemistry teacher who couldn't get his head around the fact not everyone went to bed ****ing over the periodic table at night.

I left school, became a nurse, and spent the next 3 years trying to pass my exams while surrounded by some very attractive women.

Aged 9 I was told I approached hard work with a minimalist attitude. Now in my thirties I still can't see why this is a bad thing.

a knob of a chemistry teacher who couldn't get his head around the fact not everyone went to bed ****ing over the periodic table at night.

I like to keep the periodic table is easy sight of my wrist......

[img] [/img]

[i]Aged 9 I was told I approached hard work with a minimalist attitude. Now in my thirties I still can't see why this is a bad thing. [/i]

Funny my wife has the same views. For me whenever there is a problem, I first of all work if someone else could do it, and then if not - work out the easist way of me doing it.

"If you want to know the simpliest way to do something, ask a lazy man"

quite a good one "you can do anything if you set your mind to it"

so far its true

I was told by my year head that it was pointless me doing my CSE (educated in the 70’s) as I would never be able to pass – and would never amount to much…

I now have a MSc and I’m a skilled and well respected Psychiatric Nurse – glad I never really listened to my teachers

"If you want to know the simpliest way to do something, ask a lazy man"

Whoah, whoah, whoah! I'm not lazy... I'm efficient!

At Uni, whilst studying Economics, we were taught all about efficiency. We were also told that, for every module, you only had to turn up to a seminar once every 3 weeks to avoid getting a black mark against your name. So, 3 modules per semester... the most efficient way to get a degree meant attending uni for just 1 hour a week.... happy days indeed!

..just looked up "reach around"... my, you do learn a lot on STW!

PM me sweetheart, I'll teach you a load more..

PE teacher: 'Remember if ever you need to run faster but don't think you can, just move your arms faster and your legs have to keep up'

I remembered this a few years ago while being chased by some dodgy yoof in London who was threatening to kick my head in.

Thank you Mr Richardson.

Dear old Miss Cumings; my best Primary school teacher, who pulled my reading age up from 5 to 13 in one year:

"I shall be very disappointed if you are not the first Man on Mars."

Nobody's beaten me to it..................yet

My first engineering lecturer at Tech College told our class that one of us would die in a motor cycle accident..............he was right 🙁

PM me sweetheart, I'll teach you a load more..

I don't think she wants to know what you got up to at boarding school, Flashy... 😯

She might be a bit 'female' for that sort of thing, too.

Some good stuff here. As a trainee teacher I'll have to start coming up with my own words of "wisdom" to pass on...

"let that boy out of that headlock"......

'you really ought to try lsd one day' primary school teacher

[IMG] [/IMG]

Look Ernie, its a periodic table table 🙂

"It is not possible to get an A at A-level Physics without doing any work" he said. He was wrong, but I think he knew that 🙂

School was not so good for me. They spent their entire time trying to force me to do stuff their way. They never tried to help me do it my way.

Classic daft PE Teacher once asked us to get into pairs of threes.

You'll never make a good living talking to people.

Have done exactly that for 20 years.

My year teacher told me on the day I left school that I would struggle to get a job cleaning the streets (a very uplifting man!).

I did an HND and then an engineering degree with his words always in my ears, and it still irritates me 25 years on. Mind you, maybe that was his aim, as I'm still wanting to do more things and prove him wrong. Perhaps I should just let it go now.......!!

Art Teacher* - "That's not how you paint! You're doing it all wrong!" (WTF? brush, paint, paper - put all 3 together in the style you want)

Physics Teacher - "Physics is a load of C**P! It's just a load of ideas that seem to work."

(*) He's the one I was convinced was in to boys, but actually got the boot for getting too close to girls.

My headmaster gave me some sound advice that I'll never forget.
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"It's worth spending money on decent speakers" he said

Economics teacher in school report - 'He's no Keynes'.

My mum asked me who Keynes was 😕

"it's alright out of school hours" - Married techy teacher on snogging a very fit senior pupil at the previous nights school dance.

KT1973 🙄

😆

Showing my age here:
Head "This is going to hurt me more than you" Waiting to get the cane!

Best reply ever heard while waiting for the cane!
Head "bend over boy"

boy "I would rather have the cane sir"

😉

A science teacher who had a huge nasty scar to the side of her face. last bit of advice she gave our class before letting us lose on the world.

If in the future you ever find yourself drunk doing the iorning and want to see if the iron is hot, don't test it on your face!

😯

Best reply ever heard while waiting for the cane!
Head "bend over boy"

boy "I would rather have the cane sir"

Brilliant!! 🙂