[Closed] Things my dog has eaten and shouldn't have

Our springer ate all sorts.

I once came home to a massive hole in the back door and the dog had the cat flap wedged on his shoulder - he was big for a springer. My mum had left an old melon or something on the back step (don't know why), but the dog wanted it so smashed his way through the back door and ate it.

We thought he was a rare genius springer as he could open the fridge and eat everything in it (everything). But it was the cat...she'd open the fridge, nibble on a bit of cheese and then swan off and leave the dog to eat everything else.

Cow pats were also a favourite...he seemed to permanently have a green face.

Forgot to add.. apart from the 6" kebab skewer..
Chewed through a wooden stair gate and lost 3 teeth.
4 raw sirloin steaks off the worktop when my back was turned.. the last one was dissapearing down his throat as i turned round. Must have managed 4 whole steaks in under 15 seconds.
The heels off mrs cloudnines favourite boots (£250).
A large section of carpet.. digging and chewing.
Also has knocked a toilet off the wall whilst we were out and flooded the whole downstairs of the house. Ruined was the new walnut floor laid the week previously and all the laminate flooring in hall and kitchen.

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My 3 year old Springer has eaten..

Lamp cable (thankfully on the dead side of the floor switch)
Laptop charger
Horse poo
Random dog poo
3 sausages from the beach bbq of a random couple trying to have a romantic afternoon
Dead deer

Think I've got off lightly.

Jeff

All good stuff. Lab cross here. In brief:

Her poo
Other dogs poo
Sheep poo
Cow poo
Horse poo
8 Hot cross Buns
Half a loaf of bread
Half a side of Salmon from the Outlaws' kitchen
The BT Router
Various cables
Dead animals
Live animals (she should be so lucky)
2 packets of biscuits
My helmet (bike variety!)

Lots more on top.

Great dog though!

The Basset regularly eats socks, the boys sock draw is now full of singles as I'm not reusing them once they've come out the other end.
I used to have a Lab who found a (presumably) used johnny in a bush. Seeing him running around a field the next day with it hanging out of his bumholio was not something I'll forget in a hurry 😯 Half of me wanted to pull it out, the other half was slightly dying inside.

my gran used to tell the story of the dog who ate her front door key, including the ribbon she used to hang it round her neck. Two days later there was a jingling noise as the dog ran past trailing the key from its bum.

Hope (the nose on page 1), has this special method of eating stuff she's developed when we're out. She sniffs it out and casually trots over (I'm usually on my bike).
She knows the "LEAVE IT!" shout is coming, so anything she finds has to be swallowed whole. Grab, head up, gulp gulp. Imagine a dog doing an impression of a pelican and you're about there.

We used to have to put a weight on the lid of the nappy bucket to stop ours helping herself to a little brunch.

We used to have to put a weight on the lid of the nappy bucket to stop ours helping herself to a little brunch.

This is a seriously funny thread, but now I'm starting to feel a little queasy. 🙂

I went to do some work with a bloke, arranged to meet at his house. Knocked on the door and he let me in, I stroll through, not closing the door properly behind me, large retriever strolls past. A minute later a mystery woman comes hurtling down the stairs shouting NO!!!

The retriever had a sock addiction, it could not be stopped from eating them. I'd inadvertently let it out into the garden where it discovered the holy grail, a basket of fresh washing. His wife spotted it out the window, by the time she got to it, 3 football socks and a pair of school socks had gone. The dogs eyes were rolling back in ecstasy as it gagged down a long nylon football sock. It choked them down like a pelican somehow deriving huge pleasure from the task.

Apparently man made socks would slowly reappear but anything cotton was done for. Tights were a particularly repulsive operation on reappearance.

How about a dead calf 😯 farm I worked on whilst at college had a calf die, put the carcass in a shed ready for the hunt man to come and collect it when it was legal to feed to the hounds.

He turns up and asks where the calf is, in the usual place I reply, I think you need to come with me he says. We walk round to the shed where the calf had been left outside and it was indeed gone apart from its feet. Lying about 10 ft away were two Hound puppies that the boss had been walking. They had eaten the lot and were just lying there like dog balloons. Huge distended bellies tongues lolling out, called the vet and he just said they may die they may not. They didn't move for two days but both survived. Could of eaten themselves to death.

My old Staffy ate a washing machine, well all the bits that he could chew off, needed a new machine after that. Ate the rubber seal out of the door and the flexi pipe out of the back. He was pooing that out for days.

On the poo theme...

As a solo forestry surveyor I have to go for my fair share of craps in the bushes...

Well, I arrived on site on one of the coldest days of the year in upland Aberdeenshire, had my coffee and needed to go. Did my business maybe 30m from the car, then went and did a day's work. Got back to the car that evening and dog disappears. Comes back to me shortly chewing on what looks like a fairly solid dried sausage. Turns out my crap had frozen during the course of the day, and now was providing my pooch with the canine equivalent of a gelato.

How about a dead calf

Lab/Springer cross and the list is endless and still continues to grow;

Two Soreen Loafs, half a box of cereal and half a tube of biscuits in a sitting.
Handles of all our nice knifes.
Wifes glasses.
Box set of the Wire we had borrowed from some friends.
Various chocolate bars and bags of sweets when we leave her in the car.
Plucked the jam sandwich right from the hand of our neighbours child as they crossed paths, child was just stepping out of the house the moment we walked past, she didn't even break stride, just sucked it up and left me to walk into the aftermath.
The worst is a love for all poo, fresher the better and her own is not off the table. To her credit, when she's a tad poorly and poos in the kitchen at night, she does try and eat up the mess. The problem being it makes her sick. The mornings when I come downstairs to piles of partially digested poo/sick all over the floor are priceless, priceless I say.

Our old Lab (yes another one) ate in no particular order:

Any faecal matter of any origin (especially frozen)
Her own sick
An entire bag of pick n mix including the bag
The feet of a wooden chest of drawers
A full nappy
Her own bed
Moths
A gosling
The bottom stair
Part of a fridge
An entire birthday cake
3 other dogs dinners in under 8 seconds (pathetic slow eating Collies) that weren't quite quick enough after finishing her own dinner. She just body slammed them out of the way.

She also once accidentally snorted a spider

Oh ours eats wood knife handles!
Brilliant thread but this

The BT Router

One Christmas we were over at my grandparent's house in London, and they love to put on a show with big fancy dinners. This particular year they had a very expensive, very large goose liver pate in the centre of the table. We all left the room for a couple of minutes to do something, and on returning, our large ginger lurcher was standing in the middle of the table, with one foot actually in a gravy boat, and the remains of the pate smeared on her nose.

She's also taken a large triangle of parmesan from the table and gnawed it away before we realized it'd gone.

She has a great love for tearing up bits of paper, especially ones with a nice rancid coating of old food. We recently gave her a load of leftover whitebait from the pub, and after that was gone she tore the fish scented paper bag into hundreds of little bits, leaving them around the house where they could release their odour like a disgusting version of a car air freshener.

Mine eats anything, and everything, highlights are:

dead badger (after rolling in it, to make it pop causing a little cloud of maggots)
dead deer (after almost getting inside it and making himself green)
deer intestines (running around with them flapping down his flanks, thanks to the local deer stalker)
cow afterbirth + placenta (still hanging out of the cow, until the placenta slid out)
puffin (found in the sea)
chicken carcass (ended up with him barking and snarling at his own shit as it hurt coming out)
jar of mustard (Djion and English)
5kg of wild bird feed (now have random clumps of odd plants in the garden)
15kg of dog food (and about 8 bowls of water)
Kilos and kilos of dry pasta and rice (he managed to work out how to get the cupboard door open)
Plus the usual yogurt, marmite, jam, pepper, chilli, spices, string, clingfilm, washing up sponges etc.

I used to drag him off his own vomit to stop him eating it, so now he pukes with gritted teeth so he can hang onto the good stuff.

Not a Lab though, he's a cheaspeake bay cross, which is like the bastard stubborn half brother of a lab.

Wouldn't change him for the world, but he is the dog everyone loves, and is very happy they don't own.

I've recounted this story on here before but..

I had 2 Springers once, 1 mad 1 dopy, both brothers.

The mad one once ate a coil of rope I used as a mainsheet on a dinghy I once had. It was coiled up hanging on a wall in the utility room with another 3-4 others. It had a nylon core and rope outer and cleary the mad one took fancy to it and started eating the end of it.
I came home that night to find a 1/4 of it (about 2mtrs) had been chewed and quite a lot of that had gone through his stomach and out his bottom.
He was quite poorly for weeks after but it never stopped him chewing stuff.
Next on his list was a Sofa and the Curtains.
😆

My friends Border ate a whole M&S Chocolate birthday cake straight out of the box last week.

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She took her to the vets but appears to be fine!

My mother in law's dog once ate an empty crisp packet whilst I wasn't looking. Not remarkable in itself, but she then wolfed her dinner down, stood there looking idiotic for a minute, and then hwarfed the whole lot back up, very neatly, inside the crisp packet. It was the easiest dog-barf clean-up job ever.

My mum's dogs eat rocks and dog/cat/horse shit all the time. Dogs are **** stupid.

Human poo. This has happened three times where complete strangers have been for a dump in the great outdoors and my dog has found it. I wretch everytime i think about it and needless to say he does not get a cuddle for a few days after this has happened. The worst is picking up his poo because i am also picking a complete strangers poo as well!

tube of window sealant

frozen chicken (whole)

table leg

managed to get under the stairs and eat a load of dried dog food, then sat all night not moving with her stomach as tight as a drum

🙂

I miss that dog. She was a Lab

Just remembered another - you know when you prepare a nice warming casserole in the slow cooker in winter, ready for when you get home that evening?
Yeah, don't leave it anywhere within reach of a pointer. they are good with their paws
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The mixture of casserole remains, dog blood and slow cooker shards was a delight to mop up.

Threads like this remind me how lucky we are with our springer.

She has a liking for sheep poo so we have to keep an eye on her when checking the sheep or she eats too much. She also cleans up after the house rabbit if he has the odd accident when running round the house (mainly goes in his tray).

We rescued her at 6 months old and we had some bacon sandwiches we took for the drive but didn't eat. When we got back we were in the kitchen making a cup of tea and left the bacon sandwiches on a low coffee table in the living room with the dog (sat next to her new bed as she didn't understand it was for her) but she didn't touch them. 7 years on she's never stolen any food.

We are now looking for a 2nd springer but I am dreading what we will end up with compared to this one!

When I was a kid our dog at the time (an English Pointer) ate an entire Birthday party spread for 8 6 year olds. Sausage rolls, crisps, sandwiches, chocolate biscuits etc and a badly fashioned tiger cake that my mum had spent all day making. We had only popped out for 5 minutes to pick up a friend. We came in to find the dog on its bed with a belly like a football. I remember it vividly.

Our current dog (Jack Russell) is an angel. He will destroy any toy you give him, but nothing else, which is great.

Our has eaten all of the poo mentioned. There's one area I used to walk here where she would eat soil, only one area and it was really dark coloured soil with white bits in it.
Shes demolished countless sandwiches, any food thats dropped will be consumed before it hits the floor. She ripped open a load of Christmas presents one year which contained some nice chocolates (which meant an emergency trip to the vest and a puking dog on Christmas day)
Probably the worst was when she found a tray of chicken portions ready for a BBQ, she must have eaten 5 or 6, but the worst thing was finding the chicken drumsticks she had hidden for later, the one in the bed under my pillow was quite bad!

but the worst thing was finding the chicken drumsticks she had hidden for later, the one in the bed under my pillow was quite bad!

Shows she can think ahead!

My OH's dog growing up (English Setter) had a bad habit of escaping and exploring, and one day decided to go to the Church Fete and taste test the cakes, pickles, etc and growled at anyone who came near him whilst helping himself.

Different era, as once he had finished he got a lift home in a squad car to the horror of her mother and the amusement of the police 🙂

My mate recounted the tale of his great dane, finding a dead dear in the woods,

Dane ran off, he chased, dane is busy at something, turns around covered in rotten deer, with entrails hanging out of it's mouth like something out of a horror movie.

Man the list for our Akita cross is extensive, she's a freaking ninja when it comes to jacking food:

2x Scones wrapped with clingfilm
a duck intended for Christmas dinner
frozen loaf of bread
her own sick, poop, other dogs poop

The worst one was about 500g of petroleum based moisturiser she managed to get off a desk and work the lid off whilst we were out. That was a fun night, waking up every 20-30m to throw her in the garden after cleaning up copious amounts of diarreha and vomit.

Amusingly, we were out for a walk and she came across some donner meat on the floor and turned her nose up at it!!! Think about that next time you want a kebab.

We used to look after a Cocker while the owners were on their summer holiday.

She had a habit of burying half eaten dog chews in the garden when no one was looking (summer = back door open), then digging them up and eating them after a few days once they were good and soggy and rotten.

She would then wander around looking rough until she found someone to puke up in front of, and always indoors. Lovely.

Had a chocolate lab as a kid.

She once ate an entire family-size packet of Frosties. Upon arriving home from school, I fed her her dinner before realising that she'd done so. Needless to say, she still finished it with gusto.

She spent that evening sitting in the corner, foaming at the mouth and shaking like a battery hen.

I missed quite a few items off Oscars list earlier

Frozen sheep poo (of course comes over wanting a cuddle as it melts and drips out )
Rabbit poo
Deer poo
Kittens (ok he doesn't eat them, just walks around with them in his mouth)
Anything wooden
Anything plastic (especially watering cans and plant pots)
2 weeks ago in a busy pub he chewed through his expensive tweed lead. I only noticed when he caused a commotion with diners at the far end of the bar
He also licks up the pee from Poppy the Golden retriever collie cross (she also eats anything plastic)
Any unattended plates of food (even if for a second)

Miss Houns' cats are a nightmare too, they eat butter, loaves of bread, they've learnt to open cupboards, they try and get in pans as you're cooking, they will sit on your shoulder and try to hook food off your fork or even out of your mouth

The list goes on but as its a daily occurrence it all becomes kinda normal

Here's the doggy dustbin

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A few years back a friend of ours had their labrador completely ruin christmas. They had family round and had a huge spread prepared, turkey for 12 people, veg, stuffing, sausages the works. Everything was prepped, turkey in the oven, family off to church. You're ahead of me.

They came back and the dog had got in the oven and eaten the whole turkey, every single morsel, every sausage, the stuffing, gravy, potatoes and was halfway through the veg when it lost consciousness.

They had to call out the vet on Christmas Day, thick end of a grand by the end of the stomach pumping and overnight treatment. They got back to find the dog had tipped the veg water onto the plugs, fused the house, no fuse wire to be found and no christmas dinner.

What other animal (apart from humans) is stupid enough to eat until it needs medical intervention not to die?

We had a border collie who made repeated failed attempts to dislodge a pan from the stove to he could find out whats inside. In doing so he turned all the knobs on to full and we got home to a house full of gas. Luckily in daylight - its truly terrifying to imagine what would have happened if we'd flicked a switch.

He also once ate a large, expensive tube of cadmium red oil paint, getting it all over his face and feet - trod the paint all round the house then dozed off in pose that looked like he'd been bludgeon to death.

What other animal (apart from humans) is stupid enough to eat until it needs medical intervention not to die?

Snakes eat things that will literally burst them

I was invited to a friends house for New Years Eve and after a lovely meal they brought out the highlight of the evening, some very nice vintage port and a whole stilton cheese...

The table was unwatched for about a second in which time their lab managed to pilfer and eat the whole stilton...

"Not to fear" came the cry from our hosts, "We have another one!" which unfortunately befell the same fate once his back was turned for a similar second...

Sicky Lab, angry owner and guests laughing uncontrollably saw the new year in!

Sister's In Laws to be had a chocolate Lab that ate 600 uncooked canapés and then excreted them all over the dressed/decorated marquee on the morning of the wedding.

A few years back a friend of ours had their labrador completely ruin christmas.

Wife is laughing her head off at this. The crisp-packet-vom mutt I mentioned earlier was also a lab. They're just stomachs on legs. Same dog once ate an entire xmas cake in about ten seconds, so fast that MiL couldn't figure out where it had gone. Until the dog boaked it all back up again, probably on account of how it was about 25% brandy.

Dogs sadly gone. Sam the spaniel would eat absolutely any food you gave him. Happily ate a large bowl of salad, dressing and all but neatly laid the tomato in a heap. Extracted tomato from sandwiches as well. Got a great pic of an old lab/springer x who loved fruit. Picked her own plums, strawberies and apples!

Oh yes- I forgot. Willow once ate the kitchen floor. Lovely new lino, less than a month old. It was bought to jazz up the kitchen to make the house a bit more saleable. The trick worked, the prospective buyer wanted to come round for a second viewing.

So to stick a spanner in the works, pooch eats approx. 0.5m2 of the floor. Frantic patching took place and fortunately I got away with it.

She was pooing pretty colours after that.

Great thread. Feeling Lucky with my springer pup and lab cross!

My old fox terrier Peggy though was a bit of a nightmare. Used to sneak upstairs in the evenings to chew up wife's underwear and socks. Chewed the tongue from my best shoes. Would regularly empty the bin in the kitchen. And we got rid of the landing carpet the morning after she helped herself to a whole salmon we were cooking on the bbq.

Rosie our Retriever ate my wallet when she was about 10 months old. Well, tried to anyway, notes half eaten, cards chewed in half etc. but for some reason left the driving licence (phew!)

For some reason she has always loved chewing rubber things: toys, tyres, inner tubes left partially in reach etc.etc.

Any how, when she was 3 years old, I had just had surgery on my shoulder and had been given a six foot length of 4" wide Theraband to use for physio exercises. For those not familiar with this it is like a very large, wide rubber band. When I got it home, she was very interested in the smell so I was careful to put it well out of reach. The next morning I was about to do my exercises when the phone went. I rolled up the Theraband and put it on top of the sofa. It was a wrong number, so 30 secs later, tops, I went back into the room.

No Theraband, one pooch licking lips. And looking very smug. Frantic searching, still nothing. It had been in a roll 4" long and about as thick as a salami.

Phoned the Vet, who said to bring her down, like Now. They asked if I was sure she had eaten it as it seemd so unlikely, Pretty sure I said so they gave an emetic as it was so soon after ingestion. I was taken with her into a back room and the Vetinary nurse started putting paper down on the floor-it happened to be the local rag.

With a completely straight face aforementioned Nurse said "make sure she is sick on this page, there is a picture of my ex-boyfriend getting married" which there was, and Rosie duly obliged.

They very kindly asked if I wanted the roll of Theraband back. I declined. Rosie spent the rest of the day feeling very sorry for herself and giving me dirty looks.