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A couple were walking their dog along the beach, the dog was having a great time running into the sea and fetching the ball that the guy was throwing for it.
After a particularly enthusiastic throw, the couple realise slowly that Rover is swimming toward them but not getting any closer.
Poor Rover is caught in a current and he can't get back. The couple are going frantic as they watch him getting more and more tired.
A crowd of worried onlookers soon gathers, no one is doing anything and Rover's head keeps bobbing dangerously under the water.
The guy has shouted himself hoarse and the woman is in tears by now.
Suddenly, a German tourist starts sprinting down the beach like a tornado on speed. He is flinging clothes aside as he goes and shouting "Out of my vay! Out of my vay!" in a strong commanding voice. The crowd parts to let him through and he dives like an Olympic swimmer straight into the sea.
The German then powers his way through the waves and grabs our hapless hound as the poor mutt was going down for the last time.
Then, dog under one arm, against the current our Germanic hero swims back to the shore and lays Rover down on the beach, the dog is not breathing.
The German is not done yet, he starts CPR on the dog.
After a couple of tense minutes of compressions and blowing air into the dog's nose, Rover leaps up, coughs up a load of seawater and trots back to its elated owners. The crown cheers and the German slumps onto the sand, exhausted.
The woman comes to his side and, still fighting back tears tries to find the words to thank him. "Thank you, thank you, I don't know what to say, how did you know how to do that?
What are you, a Vet?"
"Ya" replies the German, panting "I'm f*cking soaking!"
LOL!
😀
One of my favourites is...
Man is sitting next to a gorgeous woman on a plane. Notices that she is reading a book on mens sexual anatomy. He turns to the woman and says "That seems an unusual choice of book", she responds by saying "well it's all about men around the world. Did you know that Native American Indians have the longest penises and Polish men have the widest? Oh by the way I am Jane Smith - what's your name?" The man responds with a smile "Tonto Kowalski - pleased to meet you".
Man goes into library: "Do you have a book about Suicide?"
Librarian says : "Pi$$ off you won't bring it back!"
jimmy, where did you get that joke? I'm sure I saw it somewhere else this morning?
Onza - mate just sent it to me.
Also;
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an Umbrella?
Fo' izzle drizzle
I'm liking that joke mrsflash.
from a Viz Cartoon:
3 guys in a car driving through Germany. Jim's driving and has been silent and moody all morning.
Suddenly, Jim takes an exit off the autobahn marked "Sausage Factory" (in German)
One passenger says to the other - "I'm worried, he's taken a turn for the Wurst."
I can't see the mrsflash joke!
From the OP - my friend won a 'Cheeky' comic competition with that joke (or a simple version of it anyway) some 30 years ago. I think he won a teeshirt.
I went to the Zoo the other day
They only had one dog
it was a 'shit zoo'
A mate sent it to me this morning. he sends a joke most days. When I asked him where it came from it seems it was a site that lists lots of video clips on a yellow background. Sounds like your mates been there today jimmy!
possibly. not gavin campbell is it, your mate?
No, not GC. Guess there must be more than one perv trawling for p0rn each morning.
I don't object to the p0rn; I object to not having time for it in the mornings!