[Closed] The perfect woman

The perfect women, doesn't exist

I predict that this thread will close shortly

Obsessive about strava

constantly bickering over new bike technology

wants to put disc brakes on a cyclocross bike

only eats low GI food

only drinks red wine due to the anti oxidants

thinks jokes about push bikes are funny

can't decide whether to go tubeless/29er/650b/fixed/ss

thinks fat bikes are good

debates how effective a helmet is at protecting you

likes cotic bikes

likes/loaths orange

asks what tyre/tyre pressure for non specific bike situation

etc

Mrs (insert posters username)

/thread, unless you want to get busted by she who must not be upset....

Dunno but I'm as far from perfect as you can get. 🙄

Shrugs shoulders (except for the injured one) real genuine folk are so much more interesting.

one who turns up naked, and brings some beer 😀

[i]real genuine folk are so much more interesting.[/i]

Imperfect people are more betterer than perfect people?

one who turns up [s]naked[/s]with food and brings some beer

[i]one who turns up naked, and brings some beer[/i]

I hope your first date isn't at the cinema.
😯

Obsessive about strava

constantly bickering over new bike technology

wants to put disc brakes on a cyclocross bike

only eats low GI food

only drinks red wine due to the anti oxidants

thinks jokes about push bikes are funny

can't decide whether to go tubeless/29er/650b/fixed/ss

thinks fat bikes are good

debates how effective a helmet is at protecting you

likes cotic bikes

likes/loaths orange

asks what tyre/tyre pressure for non specific bike situation

Really? I'm not yet convinced having a girlfriend into all this would be good for me. I like going out on my bike with my mates partly because its 'my' time. I know some people like it, just not sure it'd be for me

Perfect Woman!

Tig bits

Mute

Tig bits

Brunette mm maybe blonde, or auburm/red

Tig Bits

Eyes, yes two!

Tig Bits

Size 8-12, dont want a bouncy castle!

Tig bits

Good cook

Tig bits

Lets me have my free time

Tig bits

Doesnt care what I earn

Tig bits

Understands the offside rule so dont constantly have to explain it

Tig Bits

Doesnt mind collecting me and my mates from the pub and cooking supper at 2am! For me and my mates!

Oh did I mention tig bits!

Really? I'm not yet convinced having a girlfriend into all this would be good for me. I like going out on my bike with my mates partly because its 'my' time. I know some people like it, just not sure it'd be for me

No not really - clearly I thought 🙂

Ok I'd like a blonde slim single child math geek with questionable taste in music, a weird love for cableknit and knees highs and an unhealthy obbession with Saturday lie ins

Oh and if she could pretend to like odd aubergine and cauliflower experimental cooking that would be a plus

Is prepared to talk to me.

Doesn't fart too much*.

*I am prepared to compromise on this.

Just to add balance, nobody is perfect, before I get flamed for a joke.

All women are beautiful. Perfect, no. Lovely, yes. (OK there are exception!) Lets say most.

Mrs Bouy

She's a great role model.

keeps out of the shed/garage?

pretend to like odd aubergine and cauliflower experimental cooking

Likes (doing) sport in general? The biggest bone of contention in the Spoon household is her refusal to enjoy sport with me. She'll happily go and do stuff with her firends, but spending any time doing anything active with me is sure to cause tantrums and sulking.

She is football mad though, tried to convince me that going to chelsea matches together would be fun. I've got to say 40,000 people chanting "I'd rather be a **** than a Yid" (and that was at the mild end of the chanting)isn't my idea of a well spent afternoon!

Mrs Yeti.

Hopefully she'll read this thread to make a change from all the times she's read posts where I've been trying to hit on a lesbian.

mrs yeti

A dead one.

Just warm....

I jest.

I like to think I lower the tone of this forum.

[i]I like to think I lower the tone of this forum. [/i]

You've no chance at that title while the B/E Bros are in town.
😉

mrs yeti +2

fatima whitbreasd

Imperfect people are more betterer than perfect people?

Except those with badly behaved dogs. 😉

B/E Bro's?

One that makes me laugh.

Mrs Pigface had me in stitches yesterday 😆

[url= http://www.justgiving.com/Claireaklong ]Here she is look! Give her money and I'll get my tits out![/url]

Bwaarp - Solo thinks some of us are bell-ends.

Scardy, I wish it was LOL. I made it on the weekend, sort of curry thing, she made 'a face' didn't quite cover it up in time. 🙂

But yes, sod euphemism, being ace in the sack is pretty much a must!! LoL

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/12/what-makes-the-perfect-wo_n_91117.html

[i]Blue-eyes[/i]

Nein!

[i]Blonde hair[/i]

Nein!

[i]Most importantly, on a salary considerably lower than her boyfriend or husband.[/i]

Well, at least I got that right...

[i]Weigh a slim nine-and-a-half stones[/i]

Er, I did once.

[i]Live on her own[/i]

Alas, marriage has made me even more imperfect.

[i]Occasionally wear glasses.[/i]

I wear them most of the time, do I get extra points for that?

Mrs Yeti ticks those boxes except for gorgeous brown eyes!

The Southern Yeti - Member
Here she is look! Give her money and I'll get my tits out!

I've already paid her and to be honest she wasn't all that.

[i]I've already paid her and to be honest she wasn't all that. [/i]

[img] [/img]

Emotionally stable, laughs at my often questionable jokes, has teh skillz and likes riding bikes. I'm lucky, Mrs Shake is pretty close.

I've already paid her and to be honest she wasn't all that.

This time you get to see my tits!

[img] http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDrEOiUXEptM5_dE7uAfSoTEHLxnO5xAxpQUJ0Jy5l88-F-Vfq [/img]

*gets comfy*

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

Solo - are you having a bit of a breakdown at the moment?

This time you get to see my tits!

Yeah, but I'm worried about further dissapointment. Once bitten......maybe you could give me a quick flash for reassurance?

It's pay and display only I'm afraid.

Where's GW, he's always telling us how awesome he is, surely he must be the perfect woman as well?

Nice tits, but I prefer boobies.

[img] [/img]

From that link Mrs. Toast put up...

Blue-eyes, blonde hair, and, most importantly, on a salary considerably lower than her boyfriend or husband.

These are key attributes that define the perfect woman, if the latest survey if to be believed.

According to recent poll of 66,000 men, their idea of the ideal female would also weigh a slim nine-and-a-half stones, live on her own and occasionally wear glasses.

Really?

I'm sorry but I need a high earner, I've a lifestyle I've become accustomed to, and I need a woman of means to keep me in it thank you very much!

The weight thing is also irrelevant, totally depends on how tall they are and the build... 9 1/2 stone would be borderline anorexic for some girls, and borderline obese for others. I think "a healthy weight for their size" is more important personally, as a guy who's dated girls anywhere between 5ft and 6ft tall, some of which were actually heavier than me (muscles!).

I'm with the glasses though... My last GF was the first girl I've ever been out with that didn't wear em, and even then I did suggest she might want to try some out... Dunno what it is, but a girl in glasses (preferably with red hair, not blonde) makes me go weak!

The Southern Yeti - Member
It's pay and display only I'm afraid.

£10 donated, flash awaited 😛

It's pay and display only I'm afraid.

Is that for the breasts or the rock hard abs?

The ability to bake a good chocolate cake. And to pretend not to notice me buying new toys.

I'll get a tasteful nipple shot done this evening 🙂

Tit pic eagerly awaited, don't let your reputation go like that bean bag guy did!

short of stature, flat top head to sit a pint pot on, fold back teeth and big ears. ..I'll get my coat 😯

Look like Katy perry, as rich as tamara ecclstone, IQ of Geri halliwell, more faithful than lassie.
Oh and big tits.

One who has no interest in mountain biking , snowboarding, rugby or going out with the lads, loves family time and holidays and socialising with her friends , has a laugh when you want one and listens when you need to talk......hang on i`ve met her and am still with her,my mrs perfect, and i hope many more on here are with theirs!!!!

The Southern Yeti - Member
It's pay and display only I'm afraid.

Talking of which, I'm still eagerly awaiting pics of a young lady on a big squashy cushion thing in return for voting for her boyfriend's shit poem 👿

And that's despite having just made the move into (classy) boudoir photography and seeing stuff which would have made my teenage eyes bleed spunk.

She's called Janice.

I'll probably get slapped down for this but I'm sick of women who use the build upto their period as an excuse to be volatile. NOT everyone by any stretch but some seem to use this and if questioned by anyone at all would flip and deny its that that makes them the [i][b]mental[/b][/i]

hora that doesn't make sense. How can they use it as an excuse but deny it is the reason?

Oh, and if you're waiting to see my nipples I'll post a picture this evening. If we get more donations, you get more.

hora that doesn't make sense. How can they use it as an excuse but deny it is the reason?

Exactly. Ever seen one of these 'incidents' in full flow? You come away from the exchange thoroughly confused and feeling like [i]YOU[/i] were the one in the wrong.

You know, I don't know any one who goes 'mental' each month. I'm sure there are girls who have heavy ones or get a bit achy or whatever... But never the whole teary needy thing.

Yes. I know all about it. You could just get used to it, it's a cycle, the same thing happens every month and you just get to say...
"your periods due in X days, isn't it?"

emsz - you're a girl right?

Not the teary needy thing. Short-fuse temper springs to mind.

The perfect woman for me is someone who has introspective and knows when to hold her hands up and admit when she is in the wrong. Just like a good man be really.

Everything else is fluff/a bonus. My type isn't physical. I have a history of slim girls however if I met a big-chested, size 12 girl who had nice eyes I'd equally fall for her.

.

Wow , hora do you, like, just type what comes into your head? 😆

*cops a feel* ummm yep, all girl yeti, btw did I miss the nip tease?

Nope. I was a bit hormonal last night and not in the mood for posing for pictures. I'm going to have a drink and 'vogue' tonight.

Emsz, I'm being polite. We could discuss 'blokes' in equal detriment but we'd be here all day on these..

[i]Wow , hora do you, like, just type what comes into your head?[/i]

Are you new here??!

Now that DeBz is here it's only right that we add side-burns to the list of 'perfect' attributes.

Leave my hairy cheeks out of this

Which ones? 😯

NON-PC JOKE ALERT

A Ozzie I once work with stated that the perfect woman has the following attributes:

3.5ft tall
bucked teeth
flat top hair style

Reason: so that one may benefit from certain services whilst being able to rest your beer on their head...

END OF NON-PC JOKE

My perfect woman is my missus.

edit: double post

And folk wonder why the women don't want to go cycling with the STW boys ?...............

This is just BoyBanter and allowed.

Head over to Mumsnet for a real insight into what "Girls" think about blokes. Don't forget the site is maintained my women, so pretty much anything goes over there.
It's quite shocking actually, you know..

What Women really think.

Have we got a link to Hora's brief appearance on Mumsnet?

Its priceless 😆

EDIT: [url= http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1001449-So-is-this-bum-sex-malarky-any-good/AllOnOnePage ]Found it![/url]

Mumsnet are evil. I thought men were bitter creatures.

^^^ 😆 at BB.

If you'd have missed the point any further.
You'd be in orbit now.
🙄

Men are simple by design (form = function).
Women were designed by a committee, of women.

I honestly didn't know the true extent of Mumsnet until someone on here posted something over there and linked it.. I shot over and shot back rather quickly.

I was sent here from Mumsnet to get an insight into your feeble minds. I quite like it and hung around.

You pays your money...

[img] /[/img]