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[Closed] The 'Official 3rd Ashes Test Banter & BS' thread (with SPOILERS!!)

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Doesn't look great for play today does it? 🙁 So I'll just rabbit on about the Aussie team selection, most unusual news!

So we drop Phillip Hughes but keep Mitchell Johnson... I guess Hughes has lost his spot because of Mitch's current waywardness and inconsistency, the selectors have obviously felt we need another bowler to turn to, so in comes Shane Watson. And he's to be opening the batting as well?? Good lord, that [i]is[/i] a gamble and a half!

What do you chaps think about Ian Bell's chances of a good result? He seems to struggle aginst the Aussies?


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 11:01 am
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What do you chaps think about Ian Bell's chances of a good result? He seems to struggle aginst the Aussies?

Not half so much as Johnson seems to struggle against the Poms 😉

I think Hughes needed to post decent scores both times round in the tour match to keep his place, rather than failing once (again). Not that Watson seems the most obvious opening batsman.


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 11:12 am
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I think the Aussies hasve fallen into the England trap - selecting your bowlers according to how well thy bat. They are short of a bit of class as well.

As for bell - too brittle - he will get some score and he will also continue to fail.
I think both teams are rather mediocre atm. Half the england side are not test players IMO


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 11:17 am
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Not half so much as Johnson seems to struggle against the Poms 😉

[i]touche[/i]


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 11:18 am
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So... looks like there'll be a couple of hours play this evening, excellent. Australia wins the toss and elects to bat, let's see how Mr Watson goes in his new openers role 😀


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 3:35 pm
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Marvellous! Play starts at 1700....!


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 3:43 pm
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From cricinfo:

The players are getting the ball to swing around corners on the side wickets


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 3:47 pm
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Last minute change with the gloves for Australia. Hadden with a broken finger after the toss (fnaar)


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 4:03 pm
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A very strange first day all round.

The Watson thing seems to be going well for Oz, and as is are usual fault the bowlers don't seem able to keep to a decent line & length


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 8:01 pm
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Hughes is unlucky, despite not making a score yet, he's young and highly rated. He's out of the side because Watson's bowling can cover Johnson's erratic performance with the ball (difficult to drop him as his batting is pretty good) Watson opens in the one day games so the new ball won't be to much of a problem as already proved. As for Bell i'd love him to do well and he's talking like he's learnt alot since being dropped. I guess we'll find out sometime on Saturday. (his figures against Australia aren't that great (possibly because of Warne and McGrath?). England bowlers couldn't find their length or direction today and Oz have a got a good start. I'm a firm believer in scoreboard pressure so a big first innings score and lots of interuptions for the batsmen could be on the cards for England.


 
Posted : 30/07/2009 11:34 pm
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Going a bit better this morning!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:02 am
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Well that does change things a bit. Especially as Australia don't bat so deep without Haddin.


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:09 am
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😆


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:17 am
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ONIONS!

Bye, bye Ricky!`


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:43 am
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I just watch cricket, so I'm far from being an expert, but why do batsmen hook? Given how many seem to get out to that, and that you could just duck instead, why not just ignore the bouncer?

Not that I'm complaining, mind.


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:50 am
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'Why do batsmen hook'

1/ A lot of batsmen play the shot very well and score lots of runs from it.

2/ The ball the bowler is often trying to bowl isn't an out and out bouncer but one that would hit the batter in the armpit where it is tough to avoid, tough to just block and hence if you don't have a counter to it, you make yourself a sitting duck to be peppered (look at KP in the Ashes test at the Oval last time round, or Graam Swann this series. Both were worked over and then decided to counter attack with far better results). If you never attempt to score off it, it effectively allows the bowlers a guaranteed dot ball even if they screw it up, and if they bowl it right it's real pig to deal with.


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:31 am
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Am in tears of laughter here!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:50 am
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I *was* hoping for rain around Brum tomorrow - not so sure now!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:51 am
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whoooooooooooooooooooooooo


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:52 am
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Am in tears of laughter here!

Why? quite tough batting conditions really, ball is swinging all over the place! Though this is a rather dramatic collapse I do agree 🙄 I just hope our bowlers will get the same this afternoon...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:54 am
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just watched the replay of Johnsons LBW... bit of a tough call!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:55 am
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Does Johnson swing the ball well? Could really get his confidence back the amount the ball is doing at the mo.

Gwan England!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:57 am
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cracking ball that 😀


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:59 am
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thunk.
🙂


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 11:59 am
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And another down!

203-8!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:00 pm
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203-8

I think they need some lunch 🙂


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:00 pm
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Does Johnson swing the ball well?

Yep, it's what he's known for (along with inaccuracy at the moment :roll:)If he can get his radar in then he will be difficult to play if it swings like this for us as well!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:01 pm
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Yeah they'll need to feed up at lunchtime so they're ready to be standing out in the field this avo.


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:01 pm
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It was all going well until TMS started their feature on Edgbaston 2005 with Daniel Beding****...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:11 pm
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psychle - Member

Does Johnson swing the ball well?

Yep, it's what he's known for (along with inaccuracy at the moment :roll:)If he can get his radar in then he will be difficult to play if it swings like this for us as well!

Pie chucker...! 😉


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:14 pm
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What a cracking lunchtime, pint of beer, chip buttie and an Australian batting collapse of almost English proportions.

We did notice that that when England bowl short, the Aussies hammer it, they're struggling to deal with full length balls


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:16 pm
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we shall see Cpt FH, we shall see 🙂


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 12:17 pm
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On Cricinfo...

The Ashes battle is hotting up on the airwaves as well as the pitch after a falling out between Matthew Hayden and Geoff Boycott on the opening day at Edgbaston while working for Test Match Special. Hayden, who has joined for the rest of the summer, said Boycott's batting style "emptied cricket grounds" and Boycott promptly stormed out of the commentary box saying [b]"don't need comments like that at my stage."[/b] They shook hands later, but the atmosphere is likely to be deliciously frosty


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 1:26 pm
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Ha ha... go the tailenders! Add a few more runs, make it harder for a England 1st innings lead 😆

Looks like the ball has stopped swinging quite so much? Guess it's getting a little older...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 1:42 pm
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Not a great 1st innings score from Australia, but some very good bowling does the job for the Poms. Now let's see if our lads can do the same!

Was 'good' to see batsman (mostly) getting out to excellent deliveries rather than seeming to throw their wickets away...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 1:51 pm
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That'll do...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 1:51 pm
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anyone else nervous? a nasty little session before tea, I'd be happy to get through without having a clatter of wickets.......


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 2:01 pm
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anyone else nervous? a nasty little session before tea, I'd be happy to get through without having a clatter of wickets

Well... it wasn't the clatter of wickets you needed to be nervous about 😀


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 2:07 pm
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Hmmmm - very tense


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 2:13 pm
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ohh dear 🙂

Ain't this fun - we're just toying with the convicts though...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 2:13 pm
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Woohoo - we've avoided the follow on 🙂


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 4:05 pm
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PLSL!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 4:07 pm
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The weather must have such an effect on the swing.. its not been doing alot for the ozzies.

Nice 50 for Strauss, lets see him convert it to a ton.


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 4:22 pm
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all the aussies in my work have been so arrogant since last week

refusing to admit that they were outplayed....fluke, we were having an off day etc

not wishing to count my chickens but will be sooooo nice if we decisively take the ashes this year!!!


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 4:25 pm
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Johnson back on to bowl...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 4:26 pm
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well... you'd have to say it's been England's day, though I reckon it's pretty evenly poised at going into tomorrow... looks like there'll be some heavy rain again overnight and maybe in the morning, so I guess there'll be a delay to start the day 🙁


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 5:34 pm
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Will Engerland reach 200 runs tomorrow? Not so sure, not so sure...


 
Posted : 31/07/2009 10:17 pm
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Will Engerland reach 200 runs tomorrow? Not so sure, not so sure...

Should make 200... but I reckon we'll end up with a 1st innings lead at this rate 😀 But is a result possible with the time remaining... I wonder...


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 1:05 pm
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54 overs left today, bat out 44 of then then bowl out a couple of Aussies in the last ten overs, finish them off by tea tomorrow - then knock off the required runs

I have been known to put the kiss of death on things though


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 2:34 pm
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would be nice to see a sporting declaration this evening, but I somehow doubt it'll be forthcoming!


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 2:40 pm
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Would declaring with a 200 lead and 15 overs to go be a sporting declaration?

Don't worry - with 50 overs still to go, I think there's a good chance you'll get to bat today 😉


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 2:49 pm
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TBH, we'd be stupid not to declare if we're still in with 10 overs left.

Bollocks, looks like you'll be in quite soon


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 2:53 pm
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As an England supporter I should know better than to gloat 🙄


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 3:05 pm
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England all out 113 ahead - potentially 2hrs play left to bowl at the Aussies


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 4:25 pm
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hmmm... that's a tad more of a lead than I would've liked to see... bloody inability to bowl out tailenders yet again costs us (and indeed England in our innings...) Setting up to be an interesting finish to this Test, if the weather stays away tomorrow that is!


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 4:39 pm
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Ponting 😆


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 5:38 pm
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Yaargh... bit of a pain that, lovely ball from Swann though...


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 5:39 pm
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VERY nearly more of a pain for you - Hussey still sounds like a walking wicket


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 5:45 pm
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Is anyone else finding the shot of the perfect rectangle of Aussies sat, arms crossed, in the middle of the Barmy Army cheering quite amusing?


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 7:00 pm
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Could have done with another wicket to really put the pressure on but still not a bad position for England.


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 7:04 pm
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Let's hope the ball starts doing it's 30 over trick tomorrow morning. Forecast is cloud 🙂


 
Posted : 02/08/2009 9:12 pm
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Well it didn't, and from my total amateur perspective, that looks all over at tea.


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 3:13 pm
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Well, at least a draw is *kind* of like a wee bit of a win...


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 3:21 pm
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Condom Factory burns down in Australia ......

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the
telephone.

'Kevin, its the health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour
but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex
factory in Sydney has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the
entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the
week!'

PM: 'SH*T!!! - the economy will never be able to cope with all those
unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!!'

Health Minister: 'We're going to have to ship some in from....Britain?'

PM: 'No chance!! The Poms will have a field day on this one!!'

Health Minister: 'What about South Africa?'

PM: 'I'll call SA - tell them we need ten million condoms; ten inches
long and eight inches thick!! That way they'll continue to respect the
wallabies!'

Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds ten million condoms, 10 inches long, 8 inches thick, all
coloured green and gold with small writing on each one...

MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA
- SIZE: SMALL


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 3:22 pm
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It appears to be still going, and Manou seems not to understand that his role is simply to fill in at the other end whilst Clarke gets his ton (he's rather hogging the strike!)


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 4:40 pm
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And that's that. Boredom got the better of them...


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 4:52 pm
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Nice knock by Clarke. Really sorted himself out since being the 'how on earth did you get in the national team' player* last time round

*see Ravi Bopara, Mitchell Johnson.


 
Posted : 03/08/2009 4:54 pm