[Closed] The "let's show solidarity with derek_starship post your injuries here" thread

I have an unfeasibly small cock...

I have a warped and unpleasant personality.

But at least I'm not fat... 😉

I've thought about it, and would now like to withdraw my small cock.

... from what!

I'm a chubber, but I've never seriously injured my belly, so here's a picture of a nice bruise on my hairy arse instead:

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I'm lazy, arrogant and argumentative

I've had a few knocks.. broken leg from a roadie mis hap, nasty scar on the other leg from a mis judged jump and ended up in the mother of all mud puddles, but now...

oh my eyes..

thanks graham

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Spot the gash!

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And cleaned up, nasty sliding along on glass.

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Most of my injuries tend to be broken bones tbh.

Oh, and I'm fat too. 😎

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I'm on the left, btw.

Is this helping, at all? Derek?

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do i win the prize?
x

I think you'll find that on the Mitchell scale (pat pend) that that's a poorly, rather than a hurty, so no, sorry you dont.

Not only am I rakishly handsome with an enviable physique, but I rarely fall off. And if I do, I do it with such style and panache that I don't tend to injure myself.

but I rarely fall off. And if I do, I do it with such style and panache that I don't tend to injure myself.

translation: he does not ride, only polishes

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Yikes! 😯 That was close!

Only have 'after' pictures on my computer, will try and get the before stitches look off my phone later:

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Mashing up hill on my singlespeed the crank snapped in half and my leg landed on the severed edge. 8 stitches I think.

translation: he does not ride, only polishes

You've seen me riding.

Excellent, I love the gruesome ones, makes me feel more normal. This was me five years ago.....

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This is where I get the chance to try and play RTA top trumps. Got knocked off my (motor)bike in 1999, broke three ribs, broke my pelvis in five places, and had a heart attack at the scene of the accident. I was conscious throughout, and was convinced I'd pissed myself, until I looked more closely and realised It was blood, and I'd ripped my ball bag open on the top yoke. Now that, I beieve, is what's known as a hurty. No pictures I'm afraid, but perhaps that's for the best.

I have a [url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/goognoog/2928333037/in/set-72157607304015979/ ]video [/url]of mine 🙂

I have a video of mine

That is excellent. I wish I had video

I'm bald and short

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Littlegirlbunny's video made my arms go all funny 😯

check my sexy knee!

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I have a video of mine

you sick person 🙁

I have a video of my shoulder being put back together.

[url= http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/Vk3wNMLcmI1llNhWHMlKqw?feat=directlink ]Shoulder movie[/url]

I had a 'handlebar to the chest' incident this summer and I had purple and yellow boobs for a while. (not to mention shitloads of pain)
No photos, though. Well, there are but you lot are not seeing them! 😉

sam_underhill - Member

I have a video of my shoulder being put back together.

Shoulder movie

that's amazing!

*is amazed*

😯

sam_underhill - Member

I have a video of my shoulder being put back together.

Shoulder movie

Wow! Totally wow!

I had something similar done to my shoulder a few years ago. I still remember the pain when I came out of the anaesthetic.
Now I see why it hurt!

That video is awesome, thanks for sharing 🙂

661 pads on order !

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Absolutely loving the videos. Had to stop watching LGB's after about 5 seconds, it was really putting me off my sarnies.

Here's my fairly minor arm injury, whih at the time this photo was taken was in the process of turning rather nasty. When I went back in to have the stitches out, I ended up being kept in hopital for a week while they pumped me full of antibiotics. Sadly the NHS couldn't stretch to a beardectomy too.

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Did that on Saturday... I sh*t on your minor grazes!

Oh and I'm not fat, but give it a few weeks.

Now that's a proper hurty.

Jonatahan - just as an aside, if you dont mind me saying, your knee looks a bit fat and ginger in that photo, and a bit right wing as well. Just thought I'd mention it, no offence meant and all that. Coat. Got.

Did they have to stitch it?

You're bang on! God I hate that knee - that's why I did that to it.

Did they have to stitch it?

No - just stuck it together with a row of fabric elastoplasts.

Piss taking aside, it does look pant crappingly bad - how did you do that?

jonathon - that's a damn impressive graze you got there

Small jump, unexpected strong side wind* and a slightly freakishly sharp rock I think. Wasn't that bad a crash, I worried about the brand new test jacket I was wearing (Endura, stood up very well!), then looked down expecting to see a bit of a graze and realised I could see my kneecap :-/

All sewn up under general, thank god. 22 stitches, plus some inside to repair a tendon nick. But luckily no actually serious damage, apart from the obvious!

* Shouldn't really have been that unexpected on the windiest day of the year... duh

Now if you'd have been just a stone or two heavier... (see, fat can be a positive issue!)

then looked down expecting to see a bit of a graze and realised I could see my kneecap

I think at this point you would also see the contents of my stomach and probably bladder. 😯

God was your anaesthetist?

I take it you fell off your Marin Mr Agreeable?

Yeah. Got my SPD sandals tangled up with my map board. 🙂

Not biking related but owie....

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and after a lil bit of surgery...

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Would it be in gippingly poor taste to post a photo of J's amputated arm on here. It's not an injury as such but it is fairly impressive and (I think) really intersting?
I'm being serious - if anyone wants to see it I will, but I didn't want to just put a pic up with no warning and people opening up the thread being confronted with that... (although some of those photos so far have been SERIOUSLY icky - especially the facial ones, for some reason...)

Fracture my palate but amazingly the docs in A&E just yanked the teeth back into place and wired them up without snapping any nerves. Had some good drugs that day 😆

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Went to an emergency dentist first and will never forget the receptionist asking if I had an appointment. 😀

bad picture, and after the clean up

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But I am going bald though.
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And very ugly and sweaty
[url= http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1213/1424491673_116078b4be.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1213/1424491673_116078b4be.jp g"/> [/img][/url]

But you can take the mickey all you want. I won't be offended.

I like that shorts_in_winter ....... you can genuinely say "[b]I've got a screw loose ![/b]" ........... well impressed 8)

Very good Ernie..... was a bit concerned when i saw that little one floating around, although my surgeon assures me it isn`t going anywhere!!!! 🙂

Arriving back at mayhem camp in the morning last year with torn ligaments, still dressed on my hospital PJs 😳

not fat or bald myself but I do have a few tubby balding friends 😆

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That hurt,quite a lot! http://www.flickr.com/photos/36301491@N08/3993252950/

For your info guys I watched my video being made. Yes I was under a local with all that drilling and hammering stuff going on. When he'd finished he just popped the dvd out of the machine and onto my lap.

It did hurt that night when the blockers wore off. Luckily a nice nurse popped a shot of morphine in me. mmmmmm morphine........

Fracture my palate

I didn't even know you could do that! Every day's a school day... (he thinks as he runs off to vomit)

chilli - what caused that????

After they put my arm back on.

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Baldy head, the chicks love it. Well mine does anway.

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i like the pain of bike inflicted injuries.....
and i am fat, old and ugly...... 8)

You're not old 🙂

Not really biking related,driving up to Chatel in French alps last summer,hit head on by Toyota Hiace pick up,two broken vertibrae and internal injuries caused by force of impact,which was nice!

chilli - bugger!

and i am fat, old and ugly......

but your cheery personality makes up for it :o)

and i am fat, old and ugly......

You're not [i]really[/i] fat. You're not [i]really[/i] old. I can't comment on the third one, cause I prefer women.

.

.......... but yeah, I suppose you'd make a right ugly woman 😯

My kid brothers arm after breaking it in exactly the same place twice. When the doctor says 4 weeks before riding, he's not being a "little pussy and just covering himself", they actually mean it.

Oh... and that knee wins this thread easily, it looks like it needs polifilla not stitches!

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pics of insidey bits, you can use your imagination to make up the outside of me, i'd start by mating joe 90 with the milky bar kid

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and for reference, your chin doesn't make a very good ground anchor

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ton -

(a) jaysus! There's someone older than me on here!
(b) There's a tree growing out of your head mate!
😀

Obviously I point blank refuse to post pics of myself on here as fugliness is more infectious than an NHS hospital and with the scars I have I would probably be removed by social services as a 'self harmer'.......

What happens if you use your chin as a ground anchor no.II

Chin hanging off before:
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...and the hideous deformity after:
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Pah! 'Tis but a fleshwound!

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I wasn't even going that fast either!

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Showing the kids how its done at Dixons Hollow, Dalby. 2 broken ribs to acompany it, still got the hematoma 5 weeks in!

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Bruising from dislocated elbow after 10 days when the cast came off.
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X-ray
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samuri whats the deal with the shoes at the track? Buy one get 5 pairs free.
barnsleymitch if theres no blood then theres no sympathy and sweet tea thats was I was told when I was growing up! It was tough growing up in Bradford 😉

Samurai you are Ben Elton and i claim my £10.