[Closed] Talk to me about your experiences with depression.

That 'other people are worse off than me so I should MTFU' thing tends not to work very well, largely because depression is so individual an experience.

What's up?

Stresses of recent events of which there are lots and lots have made me depressed again.

My unlce had some real issues with it. He had a chemical imbalance caused by taking some stomach medicine for an Ulcer.

Had to move out of his house (2 kids and wife) back to his parents for about a year. Still at a private consultant now about 5 years later.

So you can attribute your depression to a number of things, which may or may not be helpful. What's also helpful is that you can recognise it, and having insight is important.

I ended up getting more and more dissatisfied with bits of my life until it all seemed hopeless and I nearly chucked it all away.

My take on it is that depression is a bit like a bike route; it's easy to follow it if you've been there before, but it's also avoidable if you take active, logical steps to not go there.

I suffered it for 30 odd years and fixed myself in 2 weeks after reading "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Best £5 I ever spent 🙂

Tell those Zulus to bugger off. They can put a real downer on anything.

In my case it was caused by external factors like winter, work, where I lived and relationships.

18 months on Prozac plus counselling helped to clear it up. I still take St John's Wort now, which helps me, but may not help others.

At the same time that I was depressed I was also suffering from anxiety and I found it very difficult to understand why I was suffering from both as I thought they were mutually exclusive states of mind.

Talking about your feelings really helps.

At the same time that I was depressed I was also suffering from anxiety and I found it very difficult to understand why I was suffering from both as I thought they were mutually exclusive states of mind.

I don't know what gave you that idea!

I've been diagnosed depressed for 8 years, seen a few psychologists who then went on to diagnose everything from low confidence to OCD, been taking anti depressants for that whole time, read numerous self help books, feel about 25% better than i did to begin with.

To tell the truth, it's been the little things that have made me feel better for short periods of time. A good film, going out for a bike ride, doing something useful around the house, fixing something, learning something.....these things all helped (however I have to be careful because I suffer from obsessional behaviour and will obsess about things for days)

Its that old adage about chopping tasks up into little pieces and all that (although I am really no authority otherwise I wouldn't still refer to myself as depressed after 8 years)

take care

I had it, and was treated for it, several years ago. MTFU-ing did not work in the later stages, and it was only after one severe breakdown (thanks to my ex-wife for that) that I took responsibility for my own sanity and got help from my GP. I am very glad I did.

Call it 6/7 years on, I've changed jobs (and am much happier with my work), changed house (and am much happier here), and got re-married. Strangely, I now know what love is, which I never did before.

Depression can be beaten. People can help. But, you need to start things off. Change just one small thing in your life at a time and see if it makes a difference. Exercise helps too, and I felt a lot better when I had gone riding, or got a decent walk in, or played basketball. Alcohol doesn't help and never will.

A reported 1 in 4 people will suffer with mental health issues at some point in thier life. However the figure is closer to 1 in 2 as many issues go unreported. Your NOT alone and the social stigma with depression is fading away constantly. I have been on a few anti depressents, citalopram worked well then my body got used to it, then I used setraline but put on 20kgs in 3 months, which made me feel worse.

People look at me and ask why I'm depressed? Good career, gorgeous girlfriend, but depression goes deeper than that. There will always be someone worse off than you but hearing that won't snap you out of it.

When I was at my worse I didnt leave the house for 3 months, didn't shave and had to move in with parents so they could check I was eating. It was during this time that I learned something. I have many friends but done friends are better in done situations than others. The cause of my depression is panic attacks that just come on with no warning, no direct link with surroundings, stress, workload can be made. Being a lad in his late 20's I am hoping to 'grow out' of panic attacks but I take each day as it comes and try not to make an issue of them.

I wish you all the luck to overcome these hurdles.

Just sacked off the ADs in favour of riding my bike again. Didn't like the bad acne and weight gain they caused.

Get big whooshes of self-loathing, fear and uncertainty, but it's nothing nearly as bad as at the end of last year, so I focus on the good things in life and try to rationalise the (long term) situation that's making me depressed.

I go up and down, been down for a while recently, tried ADs and came off as I didn't like feeling disconnected, still struggling to dig myself out the current hole though.

simonfbarnes - Member

At the same time that I was depressed I was also suffering from anxiety and I found it very difficult to understand why I was suffering from both as I thought they were mutually exclusive states of mind.

I don't know what gave you that idea!

Neither did I Simon, I thought that I was really going crazy at the time.

The realisation that I could suffer from both eased my mental torment a lot.

sometimes perspective is hard to reset.

sometimes your problems can seem like a mountain.

but the only way to climb a mountain is by moving.

concentrate on turning the pedals. simple steps. turn by turn, keep taking them, one at a time.

eventually you'll look around and you will have made it to the top of that mountain, the mountain originally you thought to be unclimbable, just by taking one step at a time.

When you're up there you'll be able to see plenty of other mountains, your view will be clearer, you'll also see lots of other descents, they exist because the worlds not flat.

And don't worry about any mountains you can't see, you never know what's around the corner, after all on the other side of the current obstacle could be some sweet single track all the way to the coast. 🙂

chin up mate, just try to take one positive step at a time and you'll be better in no time. 🙂

I started taking medication for bipolar depression about 6 months ago and things have really improved. For about ten years I was constantly changing what I was doing and where I was living, not to mention starting and then ending relationships all because I was sure that it was something to do with my circumstances that meant I was constantly depressed, anxious, or angry. Along the way I also became very successful, first in sport where I represented Scotland in karate and then professionally where I was always the rising star wherever I started working simply because I put so much effort into running away from my problems.

The cracks started to appear when I ran out of ideas. I couldn't think of anything else to do and that this was as good as I was ever going to feel. I became suicidal and the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I didn't think my parents would be able to survive if I killed myself but it was getting to the stage where even that wasn't enough.

I refused to see a doctor because of my experience of going to my GP a few years ago. Her 'diagnosis' was that I had an alcohol problem because I would occasionally drink more than 8 pints in a night. A fair amount but not unusual for the student lifestyle I wouldn't say. I walked out of the doctor's feeling patronised and that I was not really worthy of living.

Luckily I was living in Norway when things really came to a head and I had some friends who almost literally dragged me to the doctor. My experience with the Norwegian doctor was like night and day compared to the UK. I was assured that it was not uncommon and my feelings weren't selfish or the result of self pity. I was prescribed some some drugs to deal with the bipolar (not anti-depressants because in many cases these can make things worse for bipolar depression). Since then I've been up and down but it's more in line with most people's changes in mood and completely manageable.

I think that a lot of very successful people are actually trying to run away from their problems and work extremely hard at running away which results in their success. Graeme Obree's book is a really good read for people who want to understand a bit more about it. There's also a really good article by Mark Bowden called Fight to the Finish in his collection Road Work about a highly successful doctor with bipolar who simply couldn't continue and killed himself. It also talked a bit about the effect this had on his friends and family. Some accepted that he had an illness that, for him, was simply incurable and would result in him living in incredible pain for the rest of his life. Others believed that taking your own life can never be justified and he should have carried on. Personally I don't think those people really understood that depression is a chemical imbalance rather than a lack of character.

to OP: Have you seen a clinical psychiatrist yet?

Nope. Never.

Depression related to events and depression that "just happens" are two slightly different thing. SSRIs ( prosac and the like) have revolutionised treatment for depression. However they are not a cure but a treatment, don't suit everyone and do have side effects

IMO best used to give some breathing space and allow you got find a cure

sometimes depression just goes away, sometimes some time and perspective is enough, sometimes talking therapies can help, sometimes lifestlye changes help There are many types of talking therapies, one size does not suit all.

If you are reacting to situations then you need to either change the situation or the way you deal with it. Talking therapies can help you learn to deal with the triggers.

Good luck

These are worth a look

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

I think similar to the Feeling Good stuff sfb mentioned above

[i]depression is a chemical imbalance rather than a lack of character.[/i]

...and is eminently fixable or at the very least manageable for the vast majority of people.

Take it easy fella.

depression is a chemical imbalance rather than a lack of character.

I would say that was highly simplistic if not actually wrong. Certainly for me, the various antidepressants, quite apart from their embarrassing side effects were of dubious use, where Cognitive Behaviour Therapy quickly went to the root of the problem and allowed me to become happy 🙂

The 'character' bit is irrelevant.

Simplistic rather than wrong. Its a chemical imbalance alright. Why this occurs - much more complex an hard to say.

Execise, fresh air and daylight is a useful treatment as well

Zulus,

Never say never.

I refused to see my GP about things for a long time, and it was only when I broke down in Relate that I did so. I swore I would never take ADs, but I listened to him that day and decided that, for once, maybe someone else could help. I am so happy that I put my faith in him that day.

The first step to recovering from depression is acknowledging that you need help. The second is getting it. You may not want to go and see someone, but there are people out there that can help you understand what you need to do to recover from it. They don't judge, they won't think less of you, but they might help you get your mind back on track.

[i]depression is a state of mind, and may be related to a chemical imbalance rather than the old fashioned and not useful way of characterising it as a lack of character.[/i]

Does that read a bit better SFB?

Does that read a bit better SFB?

yes 🙂 I don't think anyone knows if the imbalance causes the depression or vice versa, though I incline to the latter as experience shows you can overcome it through mental exercises.

Obviously, seratonin is related to mood to some extent, but it also has numerous other functions in the body which can be adversely affected by trying to manipulate its level

Sorry, I was talking more about the particular case in Mark Bowden's article. Re-reading I can see why that wasn't entirely clear. Here's most of the article.

http://tinyurl.com/2a7bzom

In my case I found that fresh air, mountain biking, watching TV, putting up shelves, getting wasted, etc. all worked in the short term (when I was actually doing whatever I was doing) but as soon as I was finished the depression was back straight away but much worse.

Again, in my case and I can't speak for any one else, it was purely a chemical imbalance. I was closest to the edge when my life was the best it had ever been (great friends, great job, great hobbies, own flat etc.) and I recovered using only drugs, which I know is not a popular thing to say, rather than with therapy or any of the other 101 things that are supposed to help with depression.

I had a bit of this after both parents died of cancer in fairly short order. Therapy was useless to me but a few happy pills worked a treat and allowed me to get back on top of things. Came off them after a few months and have't revisited since.

I agree that it seems to be an imbalance of chemicals that can be treated with drugs but triggered by who knows what.

Keeping busy, getting out and about and pushing myself to maintain a routine helped too.

Excercise seems pretty key too, I find that I feel quite melancholy if I don't do something every couple of days.

In my case I found that fresh air, mountain biking, watching TV, putting up shelves, getting wasted, etc. all worked in the short term (when I was actually doing whatever I was doing) but as soon as I was finished the depression was back straight away but much worse.

well, I would add drugs to that list of temporary fixes, but perhaps it depends on the personality. I needed something I could [b]DO[/b] to fix myself, others might prefer a more passive regimen.

The link between circumstances and depression is a little simplistic. It suggests by logic, that if things are going ok you won't be depressed, or that everyone whose life isn't spot on will be depressed.

Shit happens. To everyone. Life is hard. Some hide it better, some go years without it. Some have loads of cash but no social life, some have grinding poverty but great health.

In my mind the best thing you can do, and this is clinically proven, is to take regular exercise outdoors. You may have to force yourself out the door, as I do sometimes, you may have to set alarms on your phone, but you have to find a way to do it. And it helps if you have company too.

I would also agree with SFB (damn me for admitting) that CBT is effective if you approach it with an open mind.

Without sounding trite, despite how you feel, you have choices. They may be difficult, but any loss of control is usually perceived not real and if it's real it's been allowed by you. Take it back.

And good luck.

Long long story of it from me, and too complexed to go into much detail(though i have pretty much covered it all on here in the last few months).

I'll read the thread in more depth later this evening and try to add something useful to it.

that CBT is effective if you approach it with an open mind.

yes. The hardest thing for me to accept, having been tossed on a sea of unfettered emotion for decades, was that feelings are meaningless in themselves, and flow from thought, over which you have conscious control!

I had a bad bout of it a few years ago, it kind of sneaked up on me without giving much warning, how dare it!!

It took me a long time to realise anything was actually wrong as opposed to just feeling down. Things got pretty dark for a while and it was during one of these times that I called the Samaritans, well to be honest I called them about 20 times before I actually spoke to them. It was from that conversation that I went to my GP and he was fantastic, couldnt have asked for anything more. The explanation of "if you had a broken leg you would not think twice about getting treatment so why not this" helped me

The worst thing for me personally was the feeling of vulnearability that came with it,I was in my early 20s and felt imortal!

I was prescribed prozac, even tho I had always thought that they were just nonsense.I did a fair bit,for a layman, of research on the drugs which helped me.

I guess I was like the majority of people who initially believed that depression was a lot of nonsense and just needed the people to "get a grip" which of course is ballox. I didnt actually tell many people about it at the time, perhaps 2 or 3 friends, that was prob due to the stigma and also I didnt want people worrying about me, I was doing enough of that!!

I found that along with the medication I changed some of my lifestyle, pretty much stopped drinking, not that i drank that much, and used excercise as both a reward and motivation.

Initially I thought I would never go back in to it but there have been times recently since when I have felt things beginning to slide, but sofar I have managed to avoid it.

Wow, my longest post ever here!

Just my experiences and not suggesting that any of it is relevant to you or anybody else.

Hope you manage to sort things out. The feeling of relief after I initially spoke to somebody about it was amazing and was with hindsight was the best and hardest thing I had ever done

take it easy

I call it dwelling.
I dwell in this place, dark and oppressive which has no start and no end. It enfolds and holds me and my only choice is seems to wait it out. My mind goes round and round in the dark and cannot find solutions to the problems it perceives which causes more questions and more lack of answers until my thoughts overwhelm me. Everywhere I look I see nothing but trouble and trauma and sadness. And I feel 'what is the use?'
Every time I've had to find a way out for myself.
But finding a way for myself sometimes means talking to a stranger, sometimes talking to my best girl friend, sometimes talking to my best friend (husband). Sometimes it's writing myself a long long letter discussing all the troubles. It usually means that I finally remember that any movement forward in life toward my ultimate goals no matter how small IS MOVEMENT and so I am getting some where, and I will get there in the end. 'Little steps are still steps' I chant to myself.
I try as other people have suggested being very healthy; getting exercise, eating better, drinking water, trying to sleep a reasonable amount of time (but not spending too much time in bed sleeping!). I also do little things which make me happy and then revel in them for a moment; I put on vanilla perfume, read a book, make something, or wear pretty things, give littleGrips a hug and a kiss.

It's not the same for everyone, and I have a friend who nothing but meds works. We each have to find the balance which works for us.

I have finally accepted after years of suffering that I'll always be on the edge of depression. I've been on AD's 3 times, seen numerous counsellors and have been to hell and back.
The only thing that keeps me from tipping over the edge is my 2 kids. I may feel crap inside but kids are so impressionable, and so I put on a smile and be "happy Mummy". I wake up feeling anxious every morning, have regular periods of self-loathing, focus on the negative stuff most of the time, but apparently come across as a happy, confident person(which could not be further from the truth).
I'm already regretting posting this...

Me too FC.

I've been the 'life & soul of the party' type for yrs, most would tell you i'm the most 'people person' they know. I'ts all a facade as far as i'm concerned, always felt like i'm just about to be uncovered as a complete fraud in whatever i do - i even feel like that about cycling.
Took me a long time & a broken relationship to realise i've been depressed (on & off) most of my adult life.

Day by day & understanding the signs is how i go.

Holy shit muddydwarf...that is scarily true for me. I had to go back to work when both of my kids were 3 months old, so even felt like a fraud as a mother. It's taken me 12 years to realise that I'm not so bad at motherhood after all. I don't do close freinds very well, as I'm afraid they'll discover the truth about me.

,as I'm afraid they'll discover the truth about me.

that's what puzzles me - what can be so bad ? So you have distorted thinking, so what ? You have to give yourself a break and realise we're all more or less flawed, but it doesn't matter 🙂

I wouldn't say I've ever had depression (and certainly never been diagnosed), but I think I was on the cusp not long ago, and did things I'm not proud of (shan't go in to that now though, not something that needs to be shared with everyone on here...), still feel like I'm heading back there sometimes 🙁

My advice as a result of this is take it one day at a time, and set yourself small targets and things to look forward to. And ride your bike. Fast.

We managed to avoid it despite losing a baby at 37 weeks - just talked talked and talked and made sure we both always spoke about our feelings and never bottled anything up.

Recently a mate with extreme bi-polar committed suicide as did my uncle when I was about 5 (more "standard" depression) so always been pretty aware and alert for the signs.

Suffered with it for a few years after death of my daughter (long battle vs cancer). Didn't find any relief from psychs / counsellors. Then I read a book - 'The Power Of Now' by Eckhart Tolle - and things just fell into place. Don't think there is a generic way through it - very much horses for courses. Have been fine for years now. 😉

Thing is FC, your kids certainly won't think of you like that - they're kids, they believe what they know to be true unlike adults.

I've recently stopped doing one of my hobbies 'cos i've managed to convince myself that the people involved in the group (re-enactment) don't want me there. The relationship break-up was central to that particular hobby & although the woman in question no longer attends the events i still feel the group would much rather she was there than me.
It's ridiculous really, she spent most of the day in the tent sleeping whilst i was constantly working with the public, leading displays, keeping things running etc yet i still feel that way.

I'm a ****in mess at the moment but I'm having more good than bad days recently so hopefully I'm starting to see a way out.

A few weeks ago it was so bleak that I just shut down completely for a few days and couldn't even communicate, just a bleak void of nothing, I'd completely gone away.

I'll be honest it scared the sh*t out of me and for the first time I've thought about seeking professional help and getting signed off work, but that is career suicide so I'd rather try and cope(or not as the case maybe) with it myself.

that's my perspective and I don't do bearing my soul in public, so all I can say is be honest with yourself and if you can't cope seek help (something I can't bring myself to do)

And ride your bike. Fast.

with respect, IMO riding your bike is fun anytime, regardless of mood, but it's only a distraction, not any kind of a fix!

I'll be honest it scared the sh*t out of me and for the first time I've thought about seeking professional help and getting signed off work, but that is career suicide so I'd rather try and cope(or not as the case maybe) with it myself.

I don't know what line of work you are in, but surely things aren't that bad with regards to work? UK plc is a lot more forgiving towards mental illness today than it used to be.

with respect, IMO riding your bike is fun anytime, regardless of mood, but it's only a distraction, not any kind of a fix!

yes I know it won't fix anything, and its always fun. But there's nothing like giving some singletrack everything you've got to take you're mind of everything that's bad and relieving stress.

And did a much better job (and was much better for me!) than the other "solution" I had going at the time...

Me, life is pretty much at it's lowest point for me right now. Combination of depression, IBS and anxiety has pretty much ruined my life, all my dreams and hopes have had to be forgotten about until i get better. Pretty much all day everyday is spent on the verge of a panic attack, apart from work (which is such a struggle) and the odd bike ride i've pretty much become a recluse. Not good.
I'm on ad's and recently started CBT. I must get on top of this before i get any worse.
I don't want to go into too much detail but it's ****ed up my life pretty bad, I'm a total shell of my former self..I still have some hope though

I get so angry at the "just go ride your bike" responses.
If you can't even get out of the bed in the morning, let alone out of the house, how the hell are you supposed to "give some singletrack everything you've got"?

+1 FC

what if you want to ride your bike into a bus? if you think riding a bike is always fun you probably still need help

Agreed FC!

Blimey Houns 🙁

I hope things improve soon for you.

if you think riding a bike is always fun you probably still need help

now don't be silly, I don't mean unconditionally. In 14 years of regular riding I've had 6 rides when I wished I'd never gone, and most have short spells of unpleasantness - and I only mean off road. Road riding is practically a definition of misery for me!

But there are displacement activities, and there are therapies, and they are different.

FC YGM if that old email still works...

Cheers Ho hum (which is strangely one phrase i keep saying after a long sigh)

I just need to sort Anxiety/IBS out, once i do so i can start controlling my life (instead of it controlling me) and get it back on track

FoxyChick - Member
I get so angry at the "just go ride your bike" responses.
If you can't even get out of the bed in the morning, let alone out of the house, how the hell are you supposed to "give some singletrack everything you've got"?

didn't mean to offend anyone, I'm not trying to say its a miracle cure or anything remotely close. Just that when I was close to doing some stupid things, riding my bike was an escape - I could get away from everything and everyone and nothing mattered except me and the bike.

nothing mattered except me and the bike.

How about when nothing matters?

How about when nothing matters?

There were times I couldn't bring myself to ride, and I still have the scars from what I did instead.

How about when nothing matters?

that is the ultimate liberation - if nothing matters you can do anything you like, or nothing at all!

Right...I've reached my pain-threshold on this...outta here.

Well, that was quite amazing to read.

I've never suffered from depression, I have a unique mind and it seems to be very balanced.

That said I have had a hard time of it the last 6 years, been in constant agonizing pain since september 2004, bench pressing 200 lbs I managed to rip a couple of ribs of my spine and damage a couple of vertibrae.

At the time I was very fit, 5 years of training and studying, tai boxing, mountain biking, yoga, running, as well as going to college and hopefully onto uni.

After I injured my back, I lost my balance as well as coordination and my memory my speach was also effected as well. Truth be told I lost my whole life, and every day for 6 years was harder than I can describe. Sometimes the hardest thing you can have is hope. But without it we are truly lost

Spent all of 2006 drunk, by this point I never thought I would get my life back, it was the only way I could deal with the pain and go biking. So I figured f@ck it!

Then in 2007 I started walking, dancing and doing stretching exercises, I clawed my health back, I could go biking again every now and then. After a year in 2008 I crashed my first car in january and injured my back, then did too much biking and sprained a muscle in my leg, bent over to pick something up at an odd angle and pop injured it more, in march and two months later I slipped a disc putting an exhaust on my car, didn't have the money to have it fitted.

Couldn't walk for 10 months spent the whole time hobbling about my crappy one bedroom flat or lying flat on my back looking at the ceiling. You could say I've been through quite a lot.

The pressure that has been put on my mind has been extreme, that said I'm not giving up for f@ck all, a lot of people seem to be in a bad place. I have been in a very bad place for as long as I can remember, between pain and exhaustion, my life has been a complete sh1temare.

However, I've been getting private health care for 1 year and although I find it hard to believe at times, I'm getting my life back, if irritatingly slowly.

We live in a society and culture that focuses on what we are not, criticism is the norm, most of us do it without even thinking. The down side is that you will also do it to yourselves when there is no one else to be a target for it.

People should be judged on how they treat other people, their attitude towards the world about them and what they can do.

The problem that all of you face, is that you have years of mental conditioning to undo, that is simply unhealthy and flawed.

You also have to go out into a world where everyone is stressed out and on edge, ever walk into a room when everyone is tense, You will automatically become tense. What about a good comedian, who can get everyone laughing. We are far more effected by those around about us than we realize.

After what I've been through I wouldn't see anyone suffer, I know more about keeping a possitive state of mind than anyone I know. We live in a society and culture where we are told who we are, maybe it's time we discovered who we are through what we can do and are good at?

If you start to think, I'm this or I'm that in a negative way, try finishing the thought with, so f@cking what!

You need to learn to let it all go, you're holding on far too tightly. None of us can control our lives, if we try we will fail. None of us can choose what we face in life, but we can choose how we face it, more importantly we can influence how it effects us.

Not sure if any of that made sense, if any of you want to talk or would like to know how I deal with all the crap I do, feel free to email me!

Daft and probably a feeble suggestion but here goes.

It appears many of us here share more just than the love of riding bikes.

For many different reasons we've all struggled to deal with various aspects of our lives.
We've all dealt/dealing/trying to deal with it in different ways and are still doing so, it will never leave us, it will lay in wait and appear suddenly, even if we've learnt to read the signs, from knowing the triggers.

I feel that by sharing my experiences of depression with others who suffer it in it's many forms, would help me to find a way to cope with it better.

It's easiest to open up about things when in a relaxed environment, amongst people you feel you have things in common with other than, just depression.

That is why i think that if there could be a way we could all meet up, ride, chat, ride, share, ride, laugh, even cry, ride, etc, then we should make it happen. Whether it's a weekend thing or just a day.

Silly idea or what?

Obviously location will always be a factor to overcome, but anything IS possible.

People should be judged on how they treat other people, their attitude towards the world about them and what they can do.

I'll agree with that, except the last. Some of us [b]are[/b] incompetent and have limited ability, but that shouldn't devalue us as people. That's the fault with meritocracy - we don't all have the same innate talents 🙁

Silly idea or what?

No crackiing idea

can i add something totally un-constructive?

Talk to me about your experiences with depression.

it was depressing....

never suffered, mind. my cousin did, but she's back on feet now. think it was a case of travelling around the world for two years and realising she had to get a job.

on of my aunts suffered and never got out of it and now never will.

sorry state of affairs.

Depending on the complexity of events that caused the depression it may never go away in it's entirety, you just learn to control it by recognising the triggers to keep floating just above it...

No real perfect solution but talking to friends/family/strangers does help.

Shirley judging people (inevitably yourself) is part of the problem for most of us?

I would suggest talking about the symptoms is largely pointless and furthermore boring and depressing for everyone involved. Talk instead about strategies for coping and getting better. Also, the talking can establish a pattern of dependency which is destructive and/or counterproductive.

I dont think that there was ever a suggestion that folk get together to solely discuss symptoms. There is more to talk about than symptoms though.

Would the David Burns books be suitable for someone with anger issues?

Maybe Simon, but I think you misunderstand what I'm saying. Everyone is good at something. Cards, golf, drawing, driving, writing, some people are funny others good at solving problems. We need to understand ourselves more and be aware of our strengths as well as weerknesses.

We cultivate our own minds and we are what we repeatedly do, why leave it to chance when you can condition your mind?

Most people wont try new things because they fear being critisized, ridiculed or standing out. I'm simply saying that by excepting that you will be critized if you try or not, you should say who cares about being critized and try stuff anyway.

Either your life is a journey of self discovery or you're running the ratrace and living a lie. Keeping a possitive state of mind isn't something you do when you need to, it's something you always cultivate. It's a mental war, against stress, lonelyness, boredom and depression anything that makes you doubt who you are or that you have value, it never ceases or ends.

All we have are the moments, look back at your lives if you think they are a long time, our lives are fleeting but all the more precious for it.

Quite right never focus on the problem, always on the solution!

cynic-al - Member
Shirley judging people (inevitably yourself) is part of the problem for most of us?

Yes but not just judging, judging yourself harshly. I could go on about what I'm not and can't do, all day and night. But I prefer to focus on what I am and can do.

I have to be aware of what I'm not and can't do, otherwise I could get blind sided by a weekness and end up out of my depth. I think it comes down to understanding yourself.

The bottom line is, it's hard to except a lot of stuff, but once you do, it doesn't effect you as much as it once did.

Constructive reasoning can't really help tho, can it? Surely a symptom of depression is immunity to reason?

Some really good contributions, particularly from Kaesae. Shows just how complex and individual a thing depression/mental illness is.

I've suffered from depression/MI for most of my life. All sorts of circumstantial/environmental reasons, coupled with my particular personality. Problem with me is it manifests itself in quite extreme violence. Which isn't exactly conducive to a quiet life...

i've done all the drugs and that, but the most effective treatment has been intensive 1-to-1 therapy, tailored to my particular needs. Very expensive, extremely (and sadly increasingly) difficult to get on the NHS, so I'm very lucky. A long-term ongoing process, but for some people, that's how it goes.

I don't believe in the use of drugs other than as a short-term fix, certainly not in the vast majority of cases. Much cheaper and simpler to prescribe than therapy though, which is why prescribing drugs to sufferers of Depression/MI is so common. Far more effective to get to what causes the illness, but Mental Health provision is a woefully inadequate, and set to suffer huge and devastating cuts. At a time when such issues are on the increase...

Would the David Burns books be suitable for someone with anger issues?

yes! He explains that anger mostly arises from other people not conforming to our own personal rules, but how everyone has a different ruleset. Once you accept that you realise they're not getting at you and you can let it go. I used to have the vilest of tempers. Now I'm quite sweetly Zen!

Whilst David Burns is highly rated, his approach and that of CBT isn't for everyone. The latest wonder therapy (with credible backers) is Mindfullness - try the Happiness Trap - a very interesting book and a very different approach to CBT.

As for myself, I have decided I'd rather be on ADs indefinitely as I'm a much nicer person on them than off them - the only negative side affects seem to be my torso is covered in small spots and my anaerobic system doesn't work for toffees, but its a small price to pay for feeling 'normal'.

Ben

For me what works is work. But I'm extremely fortunate to have an extremely supportive employer and a job I enjoy. However, it isn't easy and at times thinking my job was slipping away as I descended into the mental health services just made things worse. There is little, if any, support to get you back into work.
I've had depression all my life (Bipolar), several complete breakdowns, I was sectioned in 2008 after being found by the Police, and Hospitalised last September. It's really really tough, but I've had 1 year off work in the last 3 and I'm happily working now, something I'm very proud of, and that helps.
Everyday is a bit different, I never know quite how I'll cope or how I'll get along. Some days I'm angry that I should have this to contend with, but you have to remember that behind many faces lies equal turmoil.

As for myself, I have decided I'd rather be on ADs indefinitely as I'm a much nicer person on them than off them

well I would say you are as you want! I'm able to modify my own mood and attitude far more than a stupid drug, with no side effects.

I think after reading through the posts you can perhaps find some comfort in other peoples experiences/cures ,I think depression is a unique experience for every individual,come across it a lot during my working day but have also experienced it myself on and off over the last 3 1/2 years last 3 years on antidepressants which have helped also went to counselling which i had to self fund at £60 a session bit bad considering ive spent the last 18 years working for the NHS ,but it was that or wait for months taught me some basic cbt for the bad times, think at my worst times felt like i was on the verge of a panic attack during most my waking day made me scared ,anxiety and depression can be like two peas in a pod so entwined and interlinked ,think the male macho ideal we all aspire to doesnt help from the earliest days in the playground blokes are taught to show no signs of weakness or friends will exploit it ,now in my 40s things still the same with my mates ,read a good book by claire weekes self help for your nerves put things into perspective for me ,but thinking about you fella