MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
I have had bad relations with my family mainly my Mother, father & Sister, after eight years I am now getting along with my father although he is not the person he was as he is in poor health, anyhow all I can seem to remember is the bad things and have great difficulty recalling all the good times and memories. Is this unusual and does anybody else have similar or the same experience.
What makes it extra hard is my sisters vendetta against me and she is very close to my father which also muddied the waters somewhat, its not getting me down to much, but it does cross my mind.
If you've been in a bit of a state of conflict for so long you'll have had to focus on the bad stuff. Sounds like you must have remembered some good stuff to fix things with your old man, but as you say things are muddied by on going fuss with your sister. It may take some time, but hang on in there. If you can let go of the stuff with your sister it might be easier, good luck fella.
After being in kind of the same situation (being reunited with my dad after he did some pretty awful stuff)
My advice would be not to bother trying to dredge through memories as the good and bad ones often go hand in hand.
Instead concentrate on now and do stuff together. He probably remembers the bad things too, and may just want to move on.
Not wanting to sound too trite, but it's surprising how refreshing a fresh start really can be.
I have no happy or even remotely fond memories of time spent with my real father, we are now estranged. The only vague feeling of excitement I can remember is him taking me to see a lab puppy and saying I could have the puppy if I told courts the following week I wanted to live with him because my mum was a Poisonous [reigns in language due to swear filter]. Needless to say court saw right through the very confused child presented to them and rightly left me' with my amazing mother who I have had so many happy times with it would be hard to know where to start. If the happy memories aren't there and you are now back in touch just stop worrying about that and concentrate on dong things that will provide happy memories for you all in the future, especially if he is no long in good health.
Edit: so basically what matt said above I x-posts
Not at all mate, I am exactly the same. My mother has often belittled anything I did, A level results, job, even a friends funeral once.
All came to a head last year when she said I didn't make her feel welcome in my house. I flew off the handle and told her I had no good memories of my childhood.
However, I am generally a pragmatist so as mattk says above I pushed the past aside and got on with being a decent person to them. ...
...If nothing it gives you a smug feeling to have the moral high ground which is always a win on STW 😉