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I'm painting the ceiling in my new place. It's awkward to do on my ladders, but the "platform" setting on the ladder is slightly too high. I have a stool which is the exact perfect right height, but it's in the attic of my current place, and I can't get into the attic in my current place because the ladders are all at the new place.
Roller on a long pole is the answer
The gradual unpairing of socks. It seems to go well for ages, sock order is perfect. Then maybe one will get separated, then suddenly I’m late for work and digging through a pile of odd socks that seems to be more than the actual number of socks I should own, yet none of them are vaguely near being a pair.
Windows. Well, the updates in particular. Outstanding updates to install so I choose "Install updates and shutdown". I go out and return home to discover that, rather than shutting down, Windows has decided to restart instead. What a waste of leccy!
I'm painting the ceiling in my new place. It's awkward to do on my ladders, but the "platform" setting on the ladder is slightly too high. I have a stool which is the exact perfect right height, but it's in the attic of my current place, and I can't get into the attic in my current place because the ladders are all at the new place.
For the benefit of the audience please state how far apart your new and old places are.
We can put a person on the moon but can we make a bag of white sugar that doesn't leak all over the place?
No. No we cannot.
Putting them just above your actual eyes, as if they were an extra set of mutant eyes, is creepy, weird and just not on (imho)
I do this. I don't like it, but having a full head of hair means that if I put them higher my hair gets tangled in the bits that rest on the nose (which is something that makes me disproportionately cross)
The gradual unpairing of socks. It seems to go well for ages, sock order is perfect. Then maybe one will get separated, then suddenly I’m late for work and digging through a pile of odd socks that seems to be more than the actual number of socks I should own, yet none of them are vaguely near being a pair.
I fixed this particular dilemma by throwing out all my socks (they were mostly ancient anyway) and buying a dozen identical pairs.
The gradual unpairing of socks. It seems to go well for ages, sock order is perfect. Then maybe one will get separated, then suddenly I’m late for work and digging through a pile of odd socks that seems to be more than the actual number of socks I should own, yet none of them are vaguely near being a pair.
I fixed this by wearing odd socks. who cares.
Roller on a long pole is the answer
It’s the answer to many painting questions. My go-to method for emulsion painting is to stand in the middle of the room with said implement and paint ceiling and walls from a (relatively) fixed position. It’s less effective for gloss …
Paint rollers make me disproportionately cross - never got on with them! 😀 😀
Paint rollers make me disproportionately cross - never got on with them!
Yep. Paint pads for the win.
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
Use the poles like stilts.
Take a brush up the poles with you. Simples 😉
Forgetting to pay a toll by the following day, coming back a few days later and then remembering (when you read the signs again)
Disproportionately cross for the next few hours
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
Trouble with poles as well is the paint tray will never be the right distance away and you'll end up clouting the end of the pole against the wall!
Trying to do something important but complicated on the phone and at that very same moment someone in one of the Whatsapp groups decides to wish someone else a happy birthday, or post a photo of their budgie, or tell us they have a cold. Which means that Whatsapp then spends the next five minutes firing in alerts from every single member of the group which clamber all over whatever it is I'm trying to do and just when you think they've finished the ****ers start liking every post made which starts it all over again.
Folk leaving the oven door open for it to cool down.
You've just had a roast in there for 3 hours bruv. It's literally designed to endure the heat. I think it can handle cooling down for ten minutes just fine.
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
At a certain point you've got to send in the infantry (brush).
If you're using rollers on poles, how do you get into the edges?
Game changer
Trying to do something important but complicated on the phone and at that very same moment someone in one of the Whatsapp groups decides to wish someone else a happy birthday, or post a photo of their budgie, or tell us they have a cold. Which means that Whatsapp then spends the next five minutes firing in alerts from every single member of the group which clamber all over whatever it is I'm trying to do and just when you think they've finished the ****ers start liking every post made which starts it all over again
What kind of psychopath doesn't have all their WhatsApp chats muted?
What kind of psychopath doesn't have all their WhatsApp chats muted?
I started trying to navigate to the mute bit, but was snowed under by pictures of carrot cake and children playing the ****ing recorder
Variable speed limits on motorways; to be specific, VSL at 3am on a Sunday morning
I took my lad and his college friends to Luton Airport and someone's either taking the piss with VSL and Warning, Queue Ahead matrix signs, or has forgotten to turn them off after last night. But with VSL cameras that set to the indicated limit, instead of a relaxing shove it in cruise I've been yoyoing down to 40/50 and back up to 70 over and over. You can't just ignore because they're clearly wrong (can you? is there a defence if you got ticketed?)
Add to this that even though there were barely any other vehicles about, most of them seem unable to understand the keep left unless overtaking....so I've been having to cross three lanes to overtake properly as well as yoyoing speed.
I'm disproportionately cross at how grumpy it's made me - but possibly due to being up at 3am has the answer to that.
You can't just ignore because they're clearly wrong (can you? is there a defence if you got ticketed?)
If it's a yellow matrix it's advisory. If it's a limit in a red circle then you MUST obey it regardless of whether the reasoning is obvious (or indeed, it's 'obviously' a mistake).
Brake rotors that don’t come with brake rotor bolts. Meaning I have to go to the LBS before I can build my bike up.
(Disproportionate because I work opposite the LBS, and I haven’t time to build the bike till the weekend anyway)
instead of a relaxing shove it in cruise I've been yoyoing down to 40/50 and back up to 70 over and over. You can't just ignore because they're clearly wrong (can you? is there a defence if you got ticketed?)
VSLs are often set to lower speeds for the sake of air quality and noise levels, so you'll find 40s and 50s near to built up areas and depending on the time of day/night.
I started trying to navigate to the mute bit, but was snowed under by pictures of carrot cake and children playing the ****ing recorder
Exit group would appear to be your solution to this... 😉
HMRC. They send a message saying "You have a new tax statement". But you can't see it online until about 4 or 5 days later, and they don't tell you when it's actually available to see online so you forget about the first message and never actually look at the statement. Why not just send the first message when it's actually available for me to see?
so I've been having to cross three lanes to overtake properly as well as yoyoing speed.
If other drivers can't use lanes properly just sit in lane one at legal speed and pass them on the left.
wide, rectangular, flat-bottomed sinks.
just had one on holiday and cant understand why anyone would have one. takes longer/more water to fill, and when youve had a shave and taken the plug out, you have muck all over the bottom that you have to keep trying to swill to the plughole by hand, running even more water to do so.
why not a small, bowl-shaped sink?
When you go to use a cash machine and along with the bright sunshine making the screen almost unusable, so many options I don't want and someone has just gobbed all over it
The phlegm must have come all the way from their toes and collected a lungful of carbon sputum on the way absolutely disgusting
Tesco changing the recipe of their caramelised onion homous and passing it off as “NEW”.
They have cheapened it, and it now tastes like putty.
Grim.
I have an insect bite on my right hamstring. Right on the hem of my boxers. I'm sat down all day for work. It's getting more and more itchy. I am getting more and more disproportionately cross.
You can't just ignore because they're clearly wrong (can you? is there a defence if you got ticketed?)
If it's a yellow matrix it's advisory. If it's a limit in a red circle then you MUST obey it regardless of whether the reasoning is obvious (or indeed, it's 'obviously' a mistake).
I've always wondered how they enforce the limits on the M25 which have a different speed limit for each lane (eg 20 - 30 - 40 - 60) across 4 lanes but only one camera. It's not a nice experience doing 20mph in lane 1 hoping that the HGV driver bombing up behind at 56mph looks up from his movie in time to brake or overtake.
I have an insect bite on my right hamstring. Right on the hem of my boxers. I'm sat down all day for work. It's getting more and more itchy. I am getting more and more disproportionately cross.
I have a vision of you sat there with your hand down your trousers, red in the face and grunting in frustration, scratching away so vigorously that your chair is slowly shuffling across the floor, while your co-workers are looking on in the background in a horrified staring huddle.
It's not a vision I especially wanted.
Tesco changing the recipe of their caramelised onion homous and passing it off as “NEW”.
WTF! 😡
Don't f*** with the houmous man!
I have an insect bite on my right hamstring. Right on the hem of my boxers. I'm sat down all day for work. It's getting more and more itchy. I am getting more and more disproportionately cross.
I have a vision of you sat there with your hand down your trousers, red in the face and grunting in frustration, scratching away so vigorously that your chair is slowly shuffling across the floor, while your co-workers are looking on in the background in a horrified staring huddle.
It's not a vision I especially wanted.
I'm not sure I want to know that you are visualising me in that way.
Thankfully I'm working from home. And somehow resulting the urge to scratch. Though it will be leg day when I go to the gym at lunchtime.....
wide, rectangular, flat-bottomed sinks
.
.
.
why not a small, bowl-shaped sink?
The answer to that, in this house anyway, is that we got increasingly irritated with a small, bowl shaped job. It was like trying to wash your face in a chuffing saucer, with much associated spillage. So we changed to the deep rectangular one, and it's miles more betterer. YMMV, obviously
When you go to use a cash machine and along with the bright sunshine making the screen almost unusable, so many options I don't want and someone has just gobbed all over it
- Insert Card
- Enter PIN
- Choose "Cash Only" rather than "Cash with Balance"
- "Would you like to see your balance?"
No! Otherwise I would have chosen the other ****ing option!
Reform voting, Brexity, racist, ill-informed, gullible, idiot elderly relative staying in my house and getting all frothy because "the next James Bond will definitely be black!"*
*he doesn't even watch Bond films
"Do you want that hot?" when I order tea. Now I have to order 'hot' ****ing tea. Why isn't hot tea the default?
What about the ****wits that bung the ****ing bag in cold milk before putting warmish water in FFS!
Now I have to order 'hot' ****ing tea. Why isn't hot tea the default?
I blame Jean Luc Picard
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R2IJdfxWtPM
Tesco changing the recipe of their caramelised onion homous and passing it off as “NEW”.
"New and improved!"
So, 1) Which is it? If it's new then it can't be improved, if it's improved then it's not new then is it.
2) You're saying that all this time I've been consuming old and inferior?
Companies that send a dispatched email when they print the label, but the goods still don't leave the warehouse until days later.
So, 1) Which is it? If it's new then it can't be improved, if it's improved then it's not new then is it.
It's humus. There's no single recipe so it can be a new version, deemed as improved vs the previous version, and still be humus.
With you on 2 though. It's humus, why wouldn't you spend a bit more time making it as good as it needs to be and then just leave it alone.
I can understand the desire to evolve and improve many things, but this is ****ing humus.
What about the *wits that bung the *ing bag in cold milk before putting warmish water in FFS!
Also creamer. I don't want sweetened milk derivative in my tea, I want milk, from a cow. Obviously, I can drink it sans jus de vache. But it does make me disproportionately cross.
Today it is goose turds. Thousands of them.
They are all over the patch of grass where the picnic tables are at work.
People that eat good quality soil make me quite cross. What a waste!
Whaf work do the picnic tables do?
This website that takes coherent thought and turns it into nonsense. Happens to me too often 🤣
Fridge temperature dials..
Why is '6' the coldest, with '1' being the warmest, makes absolutley no sense.
1 should be the coldest as it's closer to zero.
Or just put a bloody temp lable on it from 1c to 6c or whatever.
Tesco changing the recipe of their caramelised onion homous and passing it off as “NEW”.
"New and improved!"
So, 1) Which is it? If it's new then it can't be improved, if it's improved then it's not new then is it.
2) You're saying that all this time I've been consuming old and inferior?
Extra palm oil so it slides down the throat easier? 😆 😉
Have we done the "Its just summer" mob?
Every time there is a spell of notable warm weather (30C+ days are not normal anywhere in the UK) a squad of geriatric muppets endless bleats "Its Just Summer" "1976!!" and "Why is the map funny shades of red".
How have we ended up that a weather forecast is part of the culture war?
Have we done the "Its just summer" mob?
Every time there is a spell of notable warm weather (30C+ days are not normal anywhere in the UK) a squad of geriatric muppets endless bleats "Its Just Summer" "1976!!" and "Why is the map funny shades of red".
How have we ended up that a weather forecast is part of the culture war?
While I agree with the culture war principle, 30 degrees at some point in the summer has been a feature for most of my 50+ years on the planet.
Accepting that it's happening more regularly and getting much hotter than 30 degrees in recent years.
30 degrees at some point in the summer has been a feature for most of my 50+ years on the planet.
Really? Not in my memory.
30 degrees at some point in the summer has been a feature for most of my 50+ years on the planet
Me too, but mainly the part of my Summer when I visit Spain, Greece or Portugal
30+ days are well above the average in every part of the UK and pretty much always newsworthy, hence "not normal"
The bloke just now in the car park next to the river getting ready to launch his paddleboard and instructing his young daughter to pick up 'the oar', and her replying, 'I love taking the oar daddy'
Great. Another generation that doesn't know the difference between rowing and paddling. 🙄
I mean, it's literally called a PADDLEboard!
*Gives up on the future of the human race.
^ username checks out.
And you want to try listening to people talking about scuba divers wearing "goggles", "flippers" and "oxygen tanks" (though the last one may actually be accurate in some circumstances)
30 degrees at some point in the summer has been a feature for most of my 50+ years on the planet.
Really? Not in my memory.
Agreed, there's record breaking temps all over the place.. and each year there are new record breakers!
I just got back from Spain and it was 30c in the shade during the day (THE SHADE).
And that's in June.. August will see 40+, and in direct sunlight, well, who knows, but it will be dangerously hot, not to mention the UVA/UVB levels..
Also creamer. I don't want sweetened milk derivative in my tea, I want milk, from a cow.
"Non-dairy creamer, tastes just like real milk."
1) That's a ****ing lie from the outset and
2) Do you you know what else tastes just like real milk? Real milk.
(WhoTF puts cream (/UHT non-cream substitute) in their coffee in the first place outside of North America anyway? I ask for milk instead of 'cream' and they look at me like I've just requested 2-stroke engine oil.)
People who go to art galleries and just take phone photos of the works. If you want a picture you could buy a book, or a postcard without standing in my way. Or wtf you could just LOOK at the painting. It starts out seeming disproportionate but after a while beating them to death with a baseball bat seems wholly reasonable.
Have we mentioned supermarket self-checkouts yet? I have a feeling they may have come up once or twice. 😉
Anyway... one just gave me £15 change all in coins. Grr. However I can forgive it *slightly* because included were both a WWI and a WWII commemorative £2 coin. Hopefully it's not some kind of future prediction.
Apple Tax. I'm buying an external 1TB SSD for my Mac Mini. Crucial X9 Pro £89 compared to Crucial X9 Pro for Mac £99. The difference? Mac one comes formatted as APFS so I bought the cheap one and will use Disk Utility to format to APFS if anyone can confirm whether it will make a difference compared to exFAT or FAT32?
Really? Not in my memory.
It's pretty rare for the temperature not to exceed 30 degrees C somewhere in the UK each year. Around 20 or so times in the last 150 years according to this site, and even then it's often been around 28 or 29. Some interesting stats. It's definitely getter hotter of course, but there were some scorchio summers in years gone by. 35 in Cambridge in 1875 and London in 1881, 36.7 in Canterbury in 1911 etc.
Apple Tax.
That (stupid) phrase implies Apple is doing something wrong here. Your example is Crucial trying to taking advantage of the painfully stupid.
Receiving the "check in now" email from Ryanair at the EXACT SAME TIME I am wrestling my travel insurance Claim Systems from Hell in an attempt to extract said flight cost via the cancellation policy. Further annoyance in that I appear to have broken the portal by having my accident on the last day of one policy before the renewal kicked in. It's currently telling me neither policy is valid. I assume this is part* of the layered attempts to prevent you ever claiming any money
*Don't answer email. You are aways 2nd caller in the ACD. Twice I've tried, 15 and 20 mins. But no, still caller 2.
I am between disproportionately cross and "checking their address and raiding the freezer for frozen sausages"
(WhoTF puts cream (/UHT non-cream substitute) in their coffee in the first place outside of North America anyway?
Yeah it's a US thing. TBH I could have a thread of it's own about the prevalence of unnecessary chemistry masquerading as food here.
People who go to art galleries and just take phone photos of the works. If you want a picture you could buy a book, or a postcard without standing in my way. Or wtf you could just LOOK at the painting. It starts out seeming disproportionate but after a while beating them to death with a baseball bat seems wholly reasonable.
See also, concerts.
What sort of **** do you have to pay, what, sixty quid now? to watch a gig on a 6" screen. You could buy the DVD/BD multiple times over for that.
I know that I'm adding to the problem, but I watched a video of song at a recent gig. **** me the vid was a sea of other phones videoing the performance. Pumpkins in Montreal I think it was.
Apple Tax. I'm buying an external 1TB SSD for my Mac Mini. Crucial X9 Pro £89 compared to Crucial X9 Pro for Mac £99. The difference? Mac one comes formatted as APFS so I bought the cheap one and will use Disk Utility to format to APFS if anyone can confirm whether it will make a difference compared to exFAT or FAT32?
Not an apple person but fat32 can't recognize files bigger tham 4gb, so I guess you want exfat?