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If my 6yo boy could post:
I WANTED THE OTHER SHOE ON FIRST!!!
The concept of generations having arbitrary names and dates. Using such dates and names as insults.
Ok boomer.
I used to know a bloke who’d use words like “psychiatrist/pneumonia” , “know”, etc wherever he could – but he was a bit weird all-round
There's a "useless phonetic alphabet" poster floating around in one of my mates houses. He uses it with cold callers and scammers.
It's actually quite funny.
People who use signage when signs will do.
People who use "in the xyz space", as in, "we are rolling this out in the customer space".
No, you are using it with customers. The "space" is between your ****ing ears!
People who buy marg… WTF is up with that? You may as well use Castrol GTX.
ObTJ: Putoline
‘forward plan’
A plan is by its very nature about things that haven’t happened yet, forward in time if you like. Any other kind of plan would be a record of what has happened, or a backward plan. Just ‘plan’ would suffice, ta very much.
Amazing how once one cretin has set a precedent for the use of nonsense language it spreads like a virus.
YouTube clickbait language - eg "This hurricane is going nuts" , "Solo shopping trip on street of death" "This bathroom habit will turn you into a liberal"
(one of these is real, see also use of bathroom for bog)
BBC R6 music
R6 is a rich seam of annoying things, chief among them being Mary Ann Hobbs' irritating voice. What is she smiling about?
What is she smiling about?
The transient journey through space and time as music takes you to a safe place where we can all come together as one.
Apparently
The transient journey through space and time as music takes you to a safe place where we can all come together as one.
God damn she's annoying. It's making me fume just thinking about it 🙁
Can't abide her.
Just let music be music, it doesn't all have to have some deeper meaning ffs
People who walk to a supermarket.....and then dump the trolley half way back home.
LEAVE IT AT THE ****ING SUPERMARKET.
People who litter.
People who won't/can't keep their dogs under control. Oh and bag the poo but leave it out for everyone to admire.
People and organisations wanting cheap/free design work cause something something 'it'll be good exposure'. You don't try that sh1t with your dentist so respect people's trade and experience.
This is why I drink.
This is why I
drinkneed a divorce.
Clearly unreasonable behaviour.
Old men that drag a guitar and an amp to the park,then proceed to thrash out some tired old tunes (badly).
How could they not realise, that if their family doesn't want to hear them,it's a safe bet ,nobody else does.
😃
Finding threads that look interesting, which I missed earlier, have got too many posts to bother reading so you miss the 'in jokes' and potentially post duplicates*
*I didn't bother reading the previous posts so please delete if this is a duplicate
Van life people who wont use campsites (for whatever reason)
The transient journey through space and time as music takes you to a safe place where we can all come together as one.
*Grinds teeth and hefts logging axe*
"Van life people who wont use campsites (for whatever reason)"
I didn't use a campsite the four nights I was away last weekend in my van. It was great, got some proper peace and quiet without other people about.
"Looking back in hindsight". Is there another way?
People who use too many dots in their ellipses.....................
Stop at three.
People who use too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One, just one, will suffice.
People who leave their receipts or other litter in their shopping trolley when they return it.
Entitled sp##k-trumpets parking, usually in those enormous 'Barbarian' pickups or Range Rovers, in disabled spaces or parent and child spaces when they have no right to.
Range Rovers.
People who refuse to strap their children into the car properly, or at all. They are not an airbag.
Keyboard warriors.
"That being said" doesn't mean "now that I've got that out of the way", it means ... ohhh ... I'm too cross to even continue typing.
Sunday drivers, on motorways in particular. Litterbugs.
People who use too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One, just one, will suffice.
And the three in a lifetime rule.
People who use verbosity long words to mask their paucity of thought make themselves look cleverer than they actually are. eg Jordan Peterson, Boris Johnson.
I also don't understand how people repeatedly fall for this.
The concept of generations having arbitrary names and dates. Using such dates and names as insults.
Cf. "Bloody Millennials"
Millennials are in their 40s. Some are grandparents.
A plan is by its very nature about things that haven’t happened yet, forward in time if you like.
Thanks to language creep I've caught myself saying "going forward..." and I despise myself for it. Like, that's how ****ing time works. Oh, a new project, sure, I'll go and do it last April.
*I didn’t bother reading the previous posts so please delete if this is a duplicate
Oh, this is a proper piss-boiler on social media (STW and Faceache primarily), "admin, please delete if not allowed."
1) If you think whatever you're posting might not be appropriate, ask first.
2) Do you suppose that admin require your permission to remove inappropriate content? That they're sat there thinking "well, he's posted some homophobic racist Nazi propaganda on our group about kittens, but he hasn't given us permission to remove it so whatever shall we do?!?!"
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! Because you know it's wrong and you hope you'll get away with it?
“admin, please delete if not allowed.”
No no no, it's always "please delete if not aloud."
Also, I think there's some rule that someone has to complain "Can't share" on every post in a closed Facebook group...
Because copy and paste has only existed since, what, the 1970s?
People (doctors in hospitals) who don't know how to answer a phone properly.
I end up playing "hello" tennis.
<Phone ringing, then answered> Hello?
Me: Hello.
Them: Hello.
Me: Hello.
Them: Hello.
And so on...
Cash machines obsession with asking if you want to check your balance. I always select "cash only" yet there's always at least 3-4 prompts along the way asking if I'm really sure I don't want to check my balance. Infuriating.
For me it's negative people, I'm not talking about people having a bad day here and there and need a moan but people who never see any positive in anything at all. The type where if they've got a new bike instead of talking about how much they're enjoying it they will be moaning about the customer service, the wait times, the components its got on it that they want to change out and then the worst offenders for example at the bottom of the trail will kick their caliper and have a flit of rage about how crap the brakes are and how they're gonna swap them out asap and blame the brakes on their new bike as the reason they've not beaten their Strava PB.
Or if you tell them you're getting a dog for example instead of asking what breed and where from and boy or girl and being happy for you will be straight in with the "Ohhh its gonna keep you up all night barking and crying, crap all over the floors, tear up your sofa, cost a fortune in vet bills" etc
Having grown up in a negative family who could never see the positives leading to a lot of depression and existential crisis in my early 20's, I absolutely detest being around overly negative people and avoid them at all costs.
Technophobes.
My partner has just asked me to type up a hand-written document. Sure, OK. The grammar was a bit lumpy in places so I corrected it. Printed out, said "there you go, I've tidied it up a bit for you, please check it."
"You shouldn't have," she replies, "it's a template."
Wait, what?
It's a standard letter she's got on her phone. She couldn't work out how to copy and paste it (🤷♂️) so she's hand written the whole thing out into a notebook and then come to me to ask me to spend half an hour typing the entire ****ing thing straight back in again. To print out. Which she could have done by pressing the 'print' button on her goddamn phone app.
Argh.
... and I am 100% expecting her to come back with it asking if I can scan it in again because she needs to email it somewhere.
Having grown up in a negative family who could never see the positives leading to a lot of depression and existential crisis in my early 20’s, I absolutely detest being around overly negative people and avoid them at all costs.
And yet...
For me it’s negative people, I’m not talking about people having a bad day here and there and need a moan but people who never see any positive in anything at all. The type where if they’ve got a new bike instead of talking about how much they’re enjoying it they will be moaning about the customer service, the wait times, the components its got on it that they want to change out and then the worst offenders for example at the bottom of the trail will kick their caliper and have a flit of rage about how crap the brakes are and how they’re gonna swap them out asap and blame the brakes on their new bike as the reason they’ve not beaten their Strava PB.
Or if you tell them you’re getting a dog for example instead of asking what breed and where from and boy or girl and being happy for you will be straight in with the “Ohhh its gonna keep you up all night barking and crying, crap all over the floors, tear up your sofa, cost a fortune in vet bills” etc
a completely negative post.
The constant need for the NHS to dumb down when speaking to its patients* So your stomach becomes your tummy, and so on. It's infantile and patronising, and I'm responsible for a great many leaflets and letters that use that sort of language. I get why; folks with poor literacy or English as a second language need some help, but the sorts of childish nonsense I see on a daily basis is wearisome. Our reference table is Adult Literacy levels, and we pitch everything at "Entry Level 2"
* This country's average reading age is apparently; 9.
Drivers who leave their wipers going after it's stopped raining. Or have them on faster than required.
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Drivers (mainly taxis & delivery vans) who seem to think that putting your hazard lights on allows you to stop anywhere you feel like. Also those that put their hazards on every time they stop, even if parked up normally. Not only is it entirely pointless but when they're between other parked cars you can't see the lights on one side and it looks like they're indicating out.
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Drivers who continually edge forwards slightly at a red light. Just to make it that bit more annoying, they're often also quite slow to pull away when it finally does turn green.
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Customer service for sellers at any large marketplace such as Amazon. Unbelievably frustrating! It's like these morons are hired specifically to be as obtuse as possible.
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Trying to deal with Cdiscount at all. Don't ask.
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Not very computer savvy clients who try and report an error in your software.
"Feature X doesn't work" (It crashes? Define 'crash'. Doesn't do anything? Any error message? From which of the various places did you try and use this feature? etc etc)
After hours of debugging and going backwards and forwards trying to replicate the issue it then turns out it's caused by something else entirely, client just assumed the problem was with feature X and kept going on about fixing it without giving clues to what on earth they were trying to do in the first place.
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I've had a bad day. Is it lunchtime yet?
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Edit: Apparently, the STW editor turns 3 dashes into a horizontal line. Not a bad trick, except it appears not to work.
This is more amusing than annoying 😛
Drivers who leave their wipers going after it’s stopped raining. Or have them on faster than required.
Or drivers who've left the rear window wiper going, and clearly haven't looked in the R-V mirror for quite some time...
“Feature X doesn’t work”
"It doesn't work" is so frustrating. Throw me a bone here. Is there an error message? Is it on fire? No other walks of life suffer from this, you wouldn't call the AA going "my car doesn't work."
My pet hate when doing any public engagement work was the one bloke who'd always open with "I was going to join the Army but {insert some dogshit reason here}", a male only phenomenon for sure.
They were always a type.
My latest pet hate is the BS language people seem to be increasingly using to sell second hand bikes.
"This excellent example of a Specialized blahblahblah has been commissioned with full Dura Ace..."
**** off. It's not a yacht.
This is why I drink.
Dear god, she's a monster!
Or drivers who’ve left the rear window wiper going, and clearly haven’t looked in the R-V mirror for quite some time…
My Van has rear wipers, as it has rear windows, but as they are barn doors, and there is a big metal join in the middle, they are as good as pointless.
Additionally, Ford put the switch on the end of the stalk, with a sniper like hair trigger, so breathing on it wrong sets them off.
Finally, being a van, the rear windows are 6m away, so you cant hear them scraping away at the dirty window
Point is, i only ever use my side mirrors.
My OH is incapable of organising herself, and/or leaving the house on time.
She leaves the house at the time she is required to arrive at the destinations (WITHOUT EXCEPTION)
and invariably has to return to the house twice for stuff shes forgotten.
Phone
Keys
Wallet
What is in all those flippin bags?!
… and I am 100% expecting her to come back with it asking if I can scan it in again because she needs to email it somewhere.
Called it.
Fox hake.