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Drivers who don't seem to realise they would have better control of their car if they put the douche flute down. I've just watched a woman struggle to park a Toyota iQ whilst gripping her vape like her life depended on it. Idiot.
In terms of sheer eye-bulging, fist-shaking fury vs actual harm done:
In the intro to her hit song “Bubbly”, Colby Callait makes the request “Will you count me in?”, but does not wait for anyone to count her in; rather launches straight into the song immediately with nary a pause for a “1, 2” never mind a “1, 2, 3, 4”.
Annoys me every time I hear it.
Holding a phone horizontally flat in front of your mouth. What the actual **** is that all about?
So you can still have a conversation without the government/CIA/lizard overlords seeing your face or microwaving your brain. Obviously.
I don’t know what “rainbow bridge” is, and I don’t think I want to.
Wasn’t it an entry in Rogers Profanisaurus about a sex act?
Sadly not, I just looked it up. Perhaps Crossing the Rainbow Bridge is the act of going from one side of the rainbow (the pink) all the way to the other side (the brown) and the bridge in question is the biffin bridge (aka the notcher)?
God I'm bored. 😁
Gotta say, that puts a whole new perspective on someone's dead gerbil.
biffin bridge (aka
aka the chinrest.
aka the notcher
LOL.
The tint (or taint) depending on your accent.
People who go to the local beach (it's more rocks hence why popular with me and my RC crawler mates) for an evening, have a firepit (nothing wrong with that), carry their rubbish out in bags (excellent behaviour) but then leave the bags on the side of the road where they had their car parked! To make it even worse the local recycling depot is 100m away and you have to drive past it to go home, it even has bins outside for you to use outside of opening hours, but no. Leaving it in the way of everyone is much better than using the bins or taking it home.
Holding a phone horizontally flat in front of your mouth. What the actual **** is that all about? Are you waiting for Scotty to beam you up? Is this some sort of fashion statement like John Woo having actors hold guns sideways? You look like a pillock.
They've grown up watching shows like the Kardashians where they do it so the camera can hear the conversation on loudspeaker. Amazingly Orange County Choppers was the first TV show to use the technique! What's even more amazing though is having to explain to my 10 year old nephew that it's not the correct technique for using a phone, especially when he's talking to a friend in the middle of a supermarket and especially when it's about their discovery of wet dreams!
Drivers who don’t seem to realise they would have better control of their car if they put the douche flute down.
I've never quite understood smoking in enclosed spaces generally. You see plumes of smoke coming out of a Tesla or something and I wonder who on earth spends £45k on a motor and then thinks "you know, it's just not yellow and sticky enough in here."
People who drive onto roundabouts, literally, without looking right, at all.
I can generally judge them by thier speed on approach, and clock that they are playing with thier info-tainment center trying to find a song they like, but it happens a lot more frequently than I remember. Maybe that's just become normalised behaviour for many, so maybe i'm the one who shouldn't get wound up about it.
See also people who can't drive progressivley and observe the road ahead, braking late for junctions and acellerating hard out of them.
Fully automated vehicles can't come fast enough, if you ask me.
biffin bridge
aka the ‘butfer’ as in ‘butfer that you’d be in the sh1t’
(I got myself in the profanisaurus with that one.)
Wasn’t it an entry in Rogers Profanisaurus
You rang?
Anyway, people parking on grass verges when there's a perfectly acceptable bit of road adjacent.
Edit: I mean wholly on the verge, not just 2 wheels up.
Losing my favourite racing spoon. Pure rager.
Probably one of the best saddles ever made in terms of VFM, my condolences for your loss.
RIP
It's ony about £25 for a new one though...
https://www.tredz.co.uk/.Madison-Flux-Classic-Standard-Saddle_248557.htm
People who drive onto roundabouts, literally, without looking right, at all.
I can generally judge them by thier speed on approach, and clock that they are playing with thier info-tainment center trying to find a song they like, but it happens a lot more frequently than I remember.
Years ago I used to commute to Warrington (Appleton Thorn Trading Estate, detail fans). One time I was going round the roundabout (J20, Lymm turnoff from the M6) and a lorry was approaching from the opposite direction. I wasn't taking prisoners because I was late for work, we looked each other right in the eyes and I processed "it's OK, he's seen me."
What I didn't process was "... but he doesn't give a **** because Truck." He pulled right on out in front of me at pace and the skid marks I left on the road as I stood the car on its nose was probably the shorter of the two.
Hah.
Holding a phone horizontally flat in front of your mouth. What the actual **** is that all about? Are you waiting for Scotty to beam you up? Is this some sort of fashion statement like John Woo having actors hold guns sideways? You look like a pillock.
spannermonkey Full Member
People who hold their mobile phone out in front of them on speaker when on a phone call. Has no one ever shown you how to use it ‘properly’?? <sigh>
Doubly piss boiling if done in close proximity to others i.e. in supermarket/pub/restaurant grrrrrrr!
Posted 1 year ago
I'm reading back through this thread. Maybe 30% of posts I have to check "did I write that?"
I don't know if this is disproportionate or not but,
Stationary motorcyclists who can't keep their right wrist still. RM RMRM RMMMMM RM RM RMRMMRM RMMMM RMMMMM RM RM RRRRR RM for ****'s sake, what are you doing? It's not going to stall, you're not going anywhere, you might as well set fire to five pound notes.
Doubly crossmaking when it's 3am and it sounds like they have a straight-through exhaust.
I don’t know if this is disproportionate or not but,
Stationary motorcyclists who can’t keep their right wrist still. RM RMRM RMMMMM RM RM RMRMMRM RMMMM RMMMMM RM RM RRRRR RM
I'm not a motorcyclist, but some of my best friends are... were...
I'm joking... People with decent motorbikes don't do that, they don't need to. It's usualy antisocial crack dealing scroats on 50's or 125 mopeds that probably don't even have a provisional licence.
You'll never see them riding a honda 750, because they are usualy dead or in jail before they can afford one.
It's a bit like revving the engine on your mums 1.2 vauxhall nova at the traffic lights, you're not going to impress anyone, your just making a noise and wasting petrol.
@mattyfez does that mean that the Hardly (sic) Davidson across from me is not a decent motorcycle? Regular 10 minute warm-ups performed by someone who should know better on a machine with a noisier than normal exhaust.
People who cannot put the shopping trolley back in the correct place, what I mean is the the small trolleys connect to the other small trolleys and the big ones connected to the other big ones. It's not like it's hard.
Morons on public transport who haven't worked out what headphones are for.
People who cannot put the shopping trolley back in the correct place
Just sling 'em against the cycle stands, innit.
For me, people who talk during loud gigs. Or try to. They're never saying anything worth vocalising and there's little point trying to be heard over, recent example, Converge.
You’ll never see them riding a honda 750, because they are usualy dead or in jail before they can afford one.
Have a neighbour with a Panigale V4 who does it.
That's like four honda 750s?
does that mean that the Hardly (sic) Davidson across from me is not a decent motorcycle?
IME, most people who buy Harleys are just stuck for something to polish.
Have a neighbour with a Panigale V4 who does it.
How big are his chicken strips?
Does that mean that the Hardly (sic) Davidson across from me is not a decent motorcycle?
correct. Dire tripe for posing on. they think everyone loves the sound of a Harley on open pipes. Its probably running really badly on its open pipes and squawkin chicken ( screaming eagle) carb that it will not idle properly
People who take their dog for a "walk" with the person riding a bike and the dog attached with a lead, particularly dogs that look as if they are a) miserable and b) nowhere near fit enough to maintain the pace of the bike.
People who change their minds about what they want to buy in the supermarket and just heave out random stuff from their trolley and leave it on the nearest available shelf - particularly chilled or frozen food just left on a normal shelf.
People who refer to their pets as "fur babies".
Have we done folks who either at the entrance to a shop or at the top of an escalator, instead of moving along, just stop? They often look about gormlessly or fiddle with something. As my wife said to one person at the top of an escalator on the underground she nearly collided with. "Pretend it's a city, and you have to share the space with thousands of other people"
Climate change deniers
Pretty much everything else has faded into the background.
Gits who put their feet on seats on public transport - especially those rear facing ones at the back of Edinburgh buses.
Pubs that have out of date events on a boards outside their premises.
If you can't be arsed to update the info I can't be arsed to come inside.
Have we done folks who either at the entrance to a shop or at the top of an escalator, instead of moving along, just stop? They often look about gormlessly or fiddle with something.
We have, but it's worth a repeat.
A special mention for the ones with soluble children who when leaving shops suddenly realise that coats need doing up and 17 other things.
While we’re on the subject of loud motorcycles have we mentioned people who feel the need to warm them up for half an hour next to several blocks of flats on a hot summers morning while everyone’s got their balcony doors and windows open?
Or minicab drivers who’d stop in the lay-by underneath everyone’s windows at 2am idling their diesels for half an hour while they wait for the next ride to come in on the app?
I don’t miss living in London can you tell?
Teenage boys in the gym hogging the machines/stations
10 reps then sit around for 5 minutes chatting or scrolling before doing another 10 reps, repeat
Get on with it, or f off
The designers that think it’s ok to make headlight bulb changes only possible by removing the whole ****in unit🤯 along with a front wheel, arch liner etc etc guess what I was doing yesterday???
Teenage boys in the gym hogging the machines/stations
10 reps then sit around for 5 minutes chatting or scrolling before doing another 10 reps, repeat
Get on with it, or f off
Just 5 minutes? Luxury. Still, trying to move such big weights with such poor form, won't be long till they are injured and out the way....
Haha aye the gym bros hogging machines is definitely one of mine too. They seem to be in groups of 3-4 in my gym. Recently, a group of the absolute whoppers were on the cable lat pull-down machine while I completed my entire workout. * * wits.
And the pops and bangs dickhead brigade as well. There’s a particular cockend on our estate with one of them Toyota gt86s who has an absurdly loud exhaust and likes to drive past my house (and probably everywhere else too) in a gear or three too low for his road speed. I mean I like the sound of an exotic engine on song as much as the next petrol head but I can do without being woken up by some 4 banger piece of shit slow as piss Toyota at 7 on a Sunday morning. The prick.
My parents and my sister failing to call my son on his 10th birthday. I’m f*^#ing furious.
Anyone with a motorbike who thinks 'loud exhausts save lives'.
No they don't; they just mark you out as a ****ing bellend.
Similarly those who ride with their main beam lights on all the time because it makes them visible. No it doesn't because all we can now see is a green blob where a motorcyclist should be.
Haha aye the gym bros hogging machines is definitely one of mine too. They seem to be in groups of 3-4 in my gym. Recently, a group of the absolute whoppers were on the cable lat pull-down machine while I completed my entire workout. * * wits.
Wasn’t West Park Leisure Centre in Long Eaton was it? 🤣
Wasn’t West Park Leisure Centre in Long Eaton was it?
I work all over the country and go to many gyms.
It's all of them 😬
Potential buyers ghosting you, personally and professionally. If you aren’t buying what I’m selling, after expressing an interest, please tell me.
Opening a bag of pasta expecting it to open cleanly but instead it rips down the entire length and spills the pasta everywhere, just design a ****ing bag that opens you utter dicks